HIS BOOK.
I need hardly say he found his first lonely evening dull. He was not yet
capable of looking beneath the look of anything. He felt cabined,
cribbed, confined. His world-clothing came too near him. From the
flowing robes of a park, a great house, large rooms, wide
staircases--with plenty of air and space, color, softness, fitness,
completeness, he found himself in the worn, tight, shabby garment of a
cheap London lodging! But Walter, far from being a wise man, was not
therefore a fool; he was not one whom this world can not teach, and who
has therefore to be sent to some idiot asylum in the next, before sense
can be got into him, or, rather, out of him. No man is a fool, who,
having work to do, sets himself to do it, and Walter did. He had begun a
poem to lead the van of a volume, of which the rest was nearly ready:
into it he now set himself to weave a sequel to her drama, from the
point where she had left the story. Every hour he could spare from
drudgery he devoted to it--urged by the delightful prospect of letting
Lufa see what he could do. Gaining facility with his stanza as he went
on, the pleasure of it grew, and more than comforted his loneliness.
Sullivan could hardly get him from his room.
Finding a young publisher prepared to undertake half the risk, on the
ground, unexpressed, of the author’s proximity to the judgment-seat,
Walter, too experienced to look for any gain, yet hoped to clear his
expenses, and became liable for much more than he possessed.
He had one little note from Lufa, concerning a point in rhythm which
perplexed her. She had a good ear, and was conscientious in her
mechanics. There was not a cockney-rhyme from beginning to end of her
poem, which is more than the uninitiated will give its weight to. But
she understood nothing of the broken music which a master of verse will
turn to such high service. There are lines in Milton which Walter, who
knew far more than she, could not read until long after, when Dante
taught him how.
In the month of December came another note from Lady Lufa, inviting him
to spend a week with them after Christmas.
“Perhaps then we may have yet a ride together,” added a postscript.
“What does she mean?” thought Walter, a pale fear at his heart. “She
can not mean our last ride!”
One conclusion he came to--that he must tell her plainly he loved her.
The thing was only right, though of course ridiculous in the eyes of
worldly people, said the far from unworldly poet. True, she was the
daughter of an earl, and he the son of a farmer; and those who called
the land their own looked down upon those who tilled it! But a banker,
or a brewer, or the son of a contractor who had wielded the spade, might
marry an earl’s daughter: why should not the son of a farmer--not to say
one who, according to the lady’s mother, himself belonged to an
aristocracy? The farmer’s son indeed was poor, and who would look at a
poor banker, or a poor brewer, more than a poor farmer! it was all
money! But was he going to give in to that? Was he to grant that
possession made a man honorable, and the want of it despicable! To act
as if she could think after such a silly fashion, would be to insult
her! He would lay bare his heart to her! There were things in it which
she knew what value to set upon--things as far before birth as birth was
before money! He would accept the invitation, and if possible get his
volume out before the day mentioned, so as, he hoped, to be a little in
the mouth of the public when he went.
Walter, like many another youth, imagined the way to make a woman love
him, was to humble himself before her, tell her how beautiful she was,
and how much he loved her. I do not see why any woman should therefore
love a man. If she loves him already, anything will do to make her love
him more; if she does not, no entreaty will wake what is not there to be
waked. Even wrong and cruelty and carelessness may increase love already
rooted; but neither love, nor kindness, nor worship, will prevail to
plant it.
In his formal acceptance of the invitation, he inclosed some verses
destined for his volume, in which he poured out his boyish passion over
his lady’s hair, and eyes, and hands--a poem not without some of the
merits made much of by the rising school of the day, and possessing
qualities higher, perhaps, than those upon which that school chiefly
prided itself. She made, and he expected, no acknowledgment, but she did
not return the verses.
Lyric after lyric, with Lufa for its inspiration, he wrought, like
damask flowers, into his poem. Every evening, and all the evening,
sometimes late into the morning, he fashioned and filed, until at length
it was finished.
When the toiling girl who waited on him appeared with the proof-sheets
in her hand, she came like a winged ministrant laying a wondrous gift
before him. And in truth, poor as he came to think it, was it not a gift
greater than any angel could have brought him? Was not the seed of it
sown in his being by Him that loved him before he was? These were the
poor first flowers, come to make way for better--themselves a gift none
but God could give.
The book was rapidly approaching its birth, as the day of Lufa’s summons
drew near. He had inscribed the volume to her, not by name, but in a
dedication she could not but understand and no other would; founded on
her promise of a last ride: it was so delightful to have a secret with
her! He hoped to the last to take a copy with him, but was disappointed
by some _contretemps_ connected with the binding--about which he was as
particular as if it had been itself a poem: he had to pack his
portmanteau without it.
Continuously almost, on his way to the station, he kept repeating to
himself: “Is it to be the last ride, or only another?”