Cousin Statia had completed her winter's knitting, Aunt Henshaw began to
make pumpkin pies, and the period of my visit was rapidly drawing to a
close. The letters from home grew more and more solicitous for my
return, and at last the day was fixed. I felt anxious to see them all
again, and yet rather sorry to lay aside my present state of freedom. I
had quite escaped from leading-strings, and found it very pleasant to
follow the bent of my inclination as I had done at Aunt Henshaw's; but
absence had banished all memory of the thorns I had sometimes
encountered in my career at home, and I thought only of the roses--the
idea of change being also a great inducement.
Holly and I had passed whole afternoons in gathering hazel-nuts which
grew near a fence not far from the house; and having filled a very
respectable-sized bag with them, I felt quite impatient at the idea of
returning home well-laden with supplies, like any prudent housekeeper.
Aunt Henshaw was to accompany me, and selecting some of her choicest
produce, and an immense bunch of herbs, as antidotes for all the aches
and ills which human flesh is heir to, on a bright, glowing September
morning, we set forward on my homeward journey. "Blessings brighten as
they leave us;" and although I had been considered the torment of the
whole household, all regretted my departure, and begged me to come soon
again.
"Now, Miss Amy," said Sylvia, as I was taking a long private farewell in
the kitchen, "jest take a piece of advice from an old colored woman what
has lived longer in the world than you have, and roasted chickens and
fried sassages ever sense she can remember. Buckwheat cakes is very
good, but to keep your own counsel is a heap better--so when you go home
don't you go to telling about that ere pig-pen business, or the time
when the old hen flewed at you, or tumbling off the old horse. People
that don't say nothin' often gits credit for bein' quite sensible, and
p'raps you can deceive 'em too; for you'll be kind o' made a fuss with
when you fust get home, and if you don't let on about all these here
scrapes they'll think more of you."
Sylvia's advice struck me as being very sensible, and I therefore
resolved to act upon it, and endeavor to make them consider me quite a
different character from the hoyden Amy. I kissed Cousin Statia, who
took up her sewing as calmly as though nothing of any importance was
about to occur; and having delighted Holly's eyes with a bright ribbon
in which all the colors of the rainbow seemed combined, I presented
Sylvia with a collar worked by myself, and passed out to the stage,
which was waiting for us. Our journey home was quite an uneventful one;
and the wind being more favorable, we were not so long on the passage.
My parents were watching for us with anxious solicitude; but when the
door opened in bounded a wild, blooming hoyden, in whose sparkling eyes
and glowing cheeks they could detect no trace of the delicate invalid.
Henry and Fred, with a troop of younger brothers, stood ready to devour
me with kisses; but Mammy, rushing impulsively forward, pushed them all
aside, and cried and laughed over me alternately, while she almost
crushed me with the violence of her affection. Before I was well seated,
Fred spied out the bag of hazel-nuts; and a vigorous sound of cracking
informed me that the work of devastation had already commenced.
How they all stared at my ear-rings! But mamma turned pale and burst
into tears; while I stood still, feeling very uncomfortable, and yet not
being exactly aware of the manner in which I had displeased her. Aunt
Henshaw, however, with a minute accuracy that struck me as being
painfully correct, related every circumstance connected with that
unfortunate business, from her finding me extended on the bed to the
time when the rings were placed in my ears.
"Oh Amy! how could you!" exclaimed my mother; "I have always despised
the barbarous practice of making holes in the flesh for the sake of
ornament," she continued, "but to have them pierced by an ignorant
colored woman! Come here, child, and let me look at your ears. They are
completely spoiled!" she exclaimed, "the holes are one-sided, and close
to the very bone! What is to be done?"
Aunt Henshaw suggested that it would be better to let those grow up, and
have others made in the right place; but I still retained a vivid
recollection of that scene of torture, and did not therefore feel
willing to have it repeated. But the ear-rings must come out--they were
no ornament all one-sided; so they were laid away in cotton, while I had
the pleasure of reflecting on the suffering I had endured for nothing.
Being thus brought down at the very commencement of my attempt to be
sensible, and finding it less trouble to resume my natural character, I
concluded to disregard Sylvia's well-meant advice. I was very poor at
keeping a secret; so one by one all the scrapes in which I had figured
came to light, to the great horror of the others, and the delight of
Fred, who was quite pleased to discover a congenial soul.
Mammy at length seized upon me again, and carrying me almost by force
to the nursery, she locked the door and sat down beside me; determined,
as she said, to have me to herself for a while. Having requested an
account of all the adventures I had met with, she listened with the most
absorbed attention while I unfolded the various circumstances of my
visit. Mammy was sometimes amused, sometimes frightened, and often
shocked, but generally for the dignity of the family; for as I had been
its representative, she feared that it would suffer in the eyes of the
country people.
Time passed on; Aunt Henshaw returned home, and things proceeded in
their usual way. My vanity was flattered by the increased attention
which I met with on all sides; my parents appeared to consider me much
less of a child since my return, and I was in consequence almost
emancipated from the nursery; while Mammy and Jane no longer chided me
for my misdemeanors--which, to say the truth, were much less frequent
than formerly.
But I soon after experienced a great source of regret in the departure
of Ellen Tracy for boarding-school. Not being an only daughter like
myself, her parents could better spare her; but we were almost
inconsolable at parting, and having shed abundance of tears, presented
each other with keepsakes as mementos of our unchanging friendship. Hers
was a little china cup, which I have kept to this day, while I gave her
a ring made of my own hair; so that, for want of Ellen's company, I was
obliged to take up with her brother's; and the boys complained that I
kept Charles so much to myself it was impossible to make him join any of
their excursions.
It was my twelfth birthday; and on the evening of that day I feared that
Mammy's oft-repeated threat of leaving us, at which we had so often
trembled in our younger days, was about to be verified. A married sister
was taken very ill, and Mammy was immediately sent for to take care of
her; and indeed we were afraid that she would be obliged to stay there
altogether, on account of her nephews and nieces. How dreary the nursery
seemed after her departure! In vain did the good-natured Jane exert
herself to tell her most amusing stories; they had lost their interest;
and yielding to her feelings, she became at length as dull as any of us.
In about a week Mammy returned; but we could see that she was changed;
her sister had died and left five children but illy provided for.
Through the influence of my father, different situations were obtained
for the three eldest; while the old nurse, with the assistance of
occasional charity, supported the two younger ones. But Mammy had
suffered from sleepless nights, and rooms but illy warmed; and her own
health failed during her ceaseless watch by the bedside of her sister.
We did not know exactly what it was, but felt very sure that Mammy
seemed no longer like the same person.
Children who are kept at a distance by their parents and elders, often
have very queer thoughts, whose existence no one imagines. I do not
think I was an ordinary child; and notwithstanding my hoyden nature had
a very thoughtful turn of mind. I well recollect, on being once sent
early to bed for some misdemeanor I bribed my brother Fred to accompany
me; and waking up during the night, the saying that "he who goes to bed
in anger has the devil for his bed-fellow" came across my mind, and
impressed me so strongly that I caught hold of Fred's foot to ascertain
whether it was so disagreeable a guest, or my own madcap brother who was
lying beside me. Even the kick I received in return was rather welcome
than otherwise, as it proved beyond a doubt that it was really the
veritable Fred.
But what has this to do with Mammy? you ask. A great deal, I can assure
you; for I began to fear that it was not the old nurse who had returned
to us, but some strange being, who, having assumed her appearance, had
not been able altogether to imitate her manner. So I kept myself aloof,
and felt afraid to venture too close; but she grew thinner and paler,
and my mother relieved her from all care of the children.
I slept in a small closet that opened into the nursery; and calling me
very softly one night, she said, "Miss Amy, will you bring me a pitcher
of water? I know they would not let me have it," she continued as I
attempted to remonstrate with her, "but I am determined not to die
choking."
I was very much frightened, but I could not see her suffer with thirst;
and bringing her a large pitcher of water, she drank almost half of it
at once. "Now place it on a chair where I can reach it," said she, "and
go back to bed--I shall be better soon."
I did as she requested, and, childlike, soon fell asleep again. The old
nurse too slept--but hers was the sleep that knows no waking. They came
in the next morning and found her dead. Her features were peaceful as
though she had died calmly, and beside her stood the pitcher empty. She
always said that if she should ever be ill, she _would_ have water--she
would drink till she died, and she had literally done so. We all felt
very sad, and Fred broke forth into loud screams, on being told of her
death.
It was my first realization of death--the first corpse I had ever seen;
and as I knelt beside the coffin, where the pale hands that lay
cross-folded on the breast, the motionless features, and the dreadful
stillness of the whole figure, spoke eloquently of the change that had
taken place, I thought of my many acts of wilfulness, ingratitude, and
unkindness, which had often pained the loving heart that had now forever
ceased to beat. Could I but see those still features again animated with
life, I felt that never again would my tongue utter aught but words of
kindness; but it was now too late for amendment--there was nothing left
me but repentance.
My parents too grieved at her death; she had been in the family so long
that they were loathe to miss the old familiar face from its post in the
nursery. She was buried from our own house; and there were more true
mourners at her funeral than often fall to the lot of the great and
gifted.