SCENE VII._As You Like It（#1786）

The forest

A table set out. Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, and LORDS, like

outlaws

DUKE SENIOR. I think he be transform'd into a beast;

For I can nowhere find him like a man.

FIRST LORD. My lord, he is but even now gone hence;

Here was he merry, hearing of a song.

DUKE SENIOR. If he, compact of jars, grow musical,

We shall have shortly discord in the spheres.

Go seek him; tell him I would speak with him.

Enter JAQUES

FIRST LORD. He saves my labour by his own approach.

DUKE SENIOR. Why, how now, monsieur! what a life is this,

That your poor friends must woo your company?

What, you look merrily!

JAQUES. A fool, a fool! I met a fool i' th' forest,

A motley fool. A miserable world!

As I do live by food, I met a fool,

Who laid him down and bask'd him in the sun,

And rail'd on Lady Fortune in good terms,

In good set terms- and yet a motley fool.

'Good morrow, fool,' quoth I; 'No, sir,' quoth he,

'Call me not fool till heaven hath sent me fortune.'

And then he drew a dial from his poke,

And, looking on it with lack-lustre eye,

Says very wisely, 'It is ten o'clock;

Thus we may see,' quoth he, 'how the world wags;

'Tis but an hour ago since it was nine;

And after one hour more 'twill be eleven;

And so, from hour to hour, we ripe and ripe,

And then, from hour to hour, we rot and rot;

And thereby hangs a tale.' When I did hear

The motley fool thus moral on the time,

My lungs began to crow like chanticleer

That fools should be so deep contemplative;

And I did laugh sans intermission

An hour by his dial. O noble fool!

A worthy fool! Motley's the only wear.

DUKE SENIOR. What fool is this?

JAQUES. O worthy fool! One that hath been a courtier,

And says, if ladies be but young and fair,

They have the gift to know it; and in his brain,

Which is as dry as the remainder biscuit

After a voyage, he hath strange places cramm'd

With observation, the which he vents

In mangled forms. O that I were a fool!

I am ambitious for a motley coat.

DUKE SENIOR. Thou shalt have one.

JAQUES. It is my only suit,

Provided that you weed your better judgments

Of all opinion that grows rank in them

That I am wise. I must have liberty

Withal, as large a charter as the wind,

To blow on whom I please, for so fools have;

And they that are most galled with my folly,

They most must laugh. And why, sir, must they so?

The why is plain as way to parish church:

He that a fool doth very wisely hit

Doth very foolishly, although he smart,

Not to seem senseless of the bob; if not,

The wise man's folly is anatomiz'd

Even by the squand'ring glances of the fool.

Invest me in my motley; give me leave

To speak my mind, and I will through and through

Cleanse the foul body of th' infected world,

If they will patiently receive my medicine.

DUKE SENIOR. Fie on thee! I can tell what thou wouldst do.

JAQUES. What, for a counter, would I do but good?

DUKE SENIOR. Most mischievous foul sin, in chiding sin;

For thou thyself hast been a libertine,

As sensual as the brutish sting itself;

And all th' embossed sores and headed evils

That thou with license of free foot hast caught

Wouldst thou disgorge into the general world.

JAQUES. Why, who cries out on pride

That can therein tax any private party?

Doth it not flow as hugely as the sea,

Till that the wearer's very means do ebb?

What woman in the city do I name

When that I say the city-woman bears

The cost of princes on unworthy shoulders?

Who can come in and say that I mean her,

When such a one as she such is her neighbour?

Or what is he of basest function

That says his bravery is not on my cost,

Thinking that I mean him, but therein suits

His folly to the mettle of my speech?

There then! how then? what then? Let me see wherein

My tongue hath wrong'd him: if it do him right,

Then he hath wrong'd himself; if he be free,

Why then my taxing like a wild-goose flies,

Unclaim'd of any man. But who comes here?

Enter ORLANDO with his sword drawn

ORLANDO. Forbear, and eat no more.

JAQUES. Why, I have eat none yet.

ORLANDO. Nor shalt not, till necessity be serv'd.

JAQUES. Of what kind should this cock come of?

DUKE SENIOR. Art thou thus bolden'd, man, by thy distress?

Or else a rude despiser of good manners,

That in civility thou seem'st so empty?

ORLANDO. You touch'd my vein at first: the thorny point

Of bare distress hath ta'en from me the show

Of smooth civility; yet am I inland bred,

And know some nurture. But forbear, I say;

He dies that touches any of this fruit

Till I and my affairs are answered.

JAQUES. An you will not be answer'd with reason, I must die.

DUKE SENIOR. What would you have? Your gentleness shall force

More than your force move us to gentleness.

ORLANDO. I almost die for food, and let me have it.

DUKE SENIOR. Sit down and feed, and welcome to our table.

ORLANDO. Speak you so gently? Pardon me, I pray you;

I thought that all things had been savage here,

And therefore put I on the countenance

Of stern commandment. But whate'er you are

That in this desert inaccessible,

Under the shade of melancholy boughs,

Lose and neglect the creeping hours of time;

If ever you have look'd on better days,

If ever been where bells have knoll'd to church,

If ever sat at any good man's feast,

If ever from your eyelids wip'd a tear,

And know what 'tis to pity and be pitied,

Let gentleness my strong enforcement be;

In the which hope I blush, and hide my sword.

DUKE SENIOR. True is it that we have seen better days,

And have with holy bell been knoll'd to church,

And sat at good men's feasts, and wip'd our eyes

Of drops that sacred pity hath engend'red;

And therefore sit you down in gentleness,

And take upon command what help we have

That to your wanting may be minist'red.

ORLANDO. Then but forbear your food a little while,

Whiles, like a doe, I go to find my fawn,

And give it food. There is an old poor man

Who after me hath many a weary step

Limp'd in pure love; till he be first suffic'd,

Oppress'd with two weak evils, age and hunger,

I will not touch a bit.

DUKE SENIOR. Go find him out.

And we will nothing waste till you return.

ORLANDO. I thank ye; and be blest for your good comfort!

Exit

DUKE SENIOR. Thou seest we are not all alone unhappy:

This wide and universal theatre

Presents more woeful pageants than the scene

Wherein we play in.

JAQUES. All the world's a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,

His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,

Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms;

Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel

And shining morning face, creeping like snail

Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,

Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad

Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,

Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,

Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel,

Seeking the bubble reputation

Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice,

In fair round belly with good capon lin'd,

With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,

Full of wise saws and modern instances;

And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts

Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,

With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,

His youthful hose, well sav'd, a world too wide

For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,

Turning again toward childish treble, pipes

And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,

That ends this strange eventful history,

Is second childishness and mere oblivion;

Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing.

Re-enter ORLANDO with ADAM

DUKE SENIOR. Welcome. Set down your venerable burden,

And let him feed.

ORLANDO. I thank you most for him.

ADAM. So had you need;

I scarce can speak to thank you for myself.

DUKE SENIOR. Welcome; fall to. I will not trouble you

As yet to question you about your fortunes.

Give us some music; and, good cousin, sing.

SONG

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

Thou art not so unkind

As man's ingratitude;

Thy tooth is not so keen,

Because thou art not seen,

Although thy breath be rude.

Heigh-ho! sing heigh-ho! unto the green holly.

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.

Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

This life is most jolly.

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,

That dost not bite so nigh

As benefits forgot;

Though thou the waters warp,

Thy sting is not so sharp

As friend rememb'red not.

Heigh-ho! sing, &c.

DUKE SENIOR. If that you were the good Sir Rowland's son,

As you have whisper'd faithfully you were,

And as mine eye doth his effigies witness

Most truly limn'd and living in your face,

Be truly welcome hither. I am the Duke

That lov'd your father. The residue of your fortune,

Go to my cave and tell me. Good old man,

Thou art right welcome as thy master is.

Support him by the arm. Give me your hand,

And let me all your fortunes understand. Exeunt

ACT III. SCENE I.

The palace

Enter DUKE FREDERICK, OLIVER, and LORDS

FREDERICK. Not see him since! Sir, sir, that cannot be.

But were I not the better part made mercy,

I should not seek an absent argument

Of my revenge, thou present. But look to it:

Find out thy brother wheresoe'er he is;

Seek him with candle; bring him dead or living

Within this twelvemonth, or turn thou no more

To seek a living in our territory.

Thy lands and all things that thou dost call thine

Worth seizure do we seize into our hands,

Till thou canst quit thee by thy brother's mouth

Of what we think against thee.

OLIVER. O that your Highness knew my heart in this!

I never lov'd my brother in my life.

FREDERICK. More villain thou. Well, push him out of doors;

And let my officers of such a nature

Make an extent upon his house and lands.

Do this expediently, and turn him going. Exeunt

SCENE II.

The forest

Enter ORLANDO, with a paper

ORLANDO. Hang there, my verse, in witness of my love;

And thou, thrice-crowned Queen of Night, survey

With thy chaste eye, from thy pale sphere above,

Thy huntress' name that my full life doth sway.

O Rosalind! these trees shall be my books,

And in their barks my thoughts I'll character,

That every eye which in this forest looks

Shall see thy virtue witness'd every where.

Run, run, Orlando; carve on every tree,

The fair, the chaste, and unexpressive she. Exit

Enter CORIN and TOUCHSTONE

CORIN. And how like you this shepherd's life, Master

Touchstone?

TOUCHSTONE. Truly, shepherd, in respect of itself, it is a good

life; but in respect that it is a shepherd's life, it is

nought.

In respect that it is solitary, I like it very well; but in

respect that it is private, it is a very vile life. Now in

respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth me well; but in

respect

it is not in the court, it is tedious. As it is a spare life,

look you, it fits my humour well; but as there is no more

plenty

in it, it goes much against my stomach. Hast any philosophy

thee, shepherd?

CORIN. No more but that I know the more one sickens the worse

ease he is; and that he that wants money, means, and content,

without three good friends; that the property of rain is to

wet,

and fire to burn; that good pasture makes fat sheep; and that

great cause of the night is lack of the sun; that he that

hath

learned no wit by nature nor art may complain of good

breeding,

or comes of a very dull kindred.

TOUCHSTONE. Such a one is a natural philosopher. Wast ever in

court, shepherd?

CORIN. No, truly.

TOUCHSTONE. Then thou art damn'd.

CORIN. Nay, I hope.

TOUCHSTONE. Truly, thou art damn'd, like an ill-roasted egg,

all on

one side.

CORIN. For not being at court? Your reason.

TOUCHSTONE. Why, if thou never wast at court thou never saw'st

good

manners; if thou never saw'st good manners, then thy manners

must

be wicked; and wickedness is sin, and sin is damnation. Thou

art

in a parlous state, shepherd.

CORIN. Not a whit, Touchstone. Those that are good manners at

the

court are as ridiculous in the country as the behaviour of

the

country is most mockable at the court. You told me you salute

not

at the court, but you kiss your hands; that courtesy would be

uncleanly if courtiers were shepherds.

TOUCHSTONE. Instance, briefly; come, instance.

CORIN. Why, we are still handling our ewes; and their fells,

you

know, are greasy.

TOUCHSTONE. Why, do not your courtier's hands sweat? And is not

the

grease of a mutton as wholesome as the sweat of a man?

Shallow,

shallow. A better instance, I say; come.

CORIN. Besides, our hands are hard.

TOUCHSTONE. Your lips will feel them the sooner. Shallow again.

more sounder instance; come.

CORIN. And they are often tarr'd over with the surgery of our

sheep; and would you have us kiss tar? The courtier's hands

are

perfum'd with civet.

TOUCHSTONE. Most shallow man! thou worm's meat in respect of a

good

piece of flesh indeed! Learn of the wise, and perpend: civet

of a baser birth than tar- the very uncleanly flux of a cat.

Mend

the instance, shepherd.

CORIN. You have too courtly a wit for me; I'll rest.

TOUCHSTONE. Wilt thou rest damn'd? God help thee, shallow man!

God

make incision in thee! thou art raw.

CORIN. Sir, I am a true labourer: I earn that I eat, get that I

wear; owe no man hate, envy no man's happiness; glad of other

men's good, content with my harm; and the greatest of my

pride is

to see my ewes graze and my lambs suck.

TOUCHSTONE. That is another simple sin in you: to bring the

ewes

and the rams together, and to offer to get your living by the

copulation of cattle; to be bawd to a bell-wether, and to

betray

a she-lamb of a twelvemonth to crooked-pated, old, cuckoldly

ram,

out of all reasonable match. If thou beest not damn'd for

this,

the devil himself will have no shepherds; I cannot see else

how

thou shouldst scape.

CORIN. Here comes young Master Ganymede, my new mistress's

brother.

Enter ROSALIND, reading a paper

ROSALIND. 'From the east to western Inde,

No jewel is like Rosalinde.

Her worth, being mounted on the wind,

Through all the world bears Rosalinde.

All the pictures fairest lin'd

Are but black to Rosalinde.

Let no face be kept in mind

But the fair of Rosalinde.'

TOUCHSTONE. I'll rhyme you so eight years together, dinners,

and

suppers, and sleeping hours, excepted. It is the right

butter-women's rank to market.

ROSALIND. Out, fool!

TOUCHSTONE. For a taste:

If a hart do lack a hind,

Let him seek out Rosalinde.

If the cat will after kind,

So be sure will Rosalinde.

Winter garments must be lin'd,

So must slender Rosalinde.

They that reap must sheaf and bind,

Then to cart with Rosalinde.

Sweetest nut hath sourest rind,

Such a nut is Rosalinde.

He that sweetest rose will find

Must find love's prick and Rosalinde.

This is the very false gallop of verses; why do you infect

yourself with them?

ROSALIND. Peace, you dull fool! I found them on a tree.

TOUCHSTONE. Truly, the tree yields bad fruit.

ROSALIND. I'll graff it with you, and then I shall graff it

with a

medlar. Then it will be the earliest fruit i' th' country;

for

you'll be rotten ere you be half ripe, and that's the right

virtue of the medlar.

TOUCHSTONE. You have said; but whether wisely or no, let the

forest

judge.

Enter CELIA, with a writing

ROSALIND. Peace!

Here comes my sister, reading; stand aside.

CELIA. 'Why should this a desert be?

For it is unpeopled? No;

Tongues I'll hang on every tree

That shall civil sayings show.

Some, how brief the life of man

Runs his erring pilgrimage,

That the streching of a span

Buckles in his sum of age;

Some, of violated vows

'Twixt the souls of friend and friend;

But upon the fairest boughs,

Or at every sentence end,

Will I Rosalinda write,

Teaching all that read to know

The quintessence of every sprite

Heaven would in little show.

Therefore heaven Nature charg'd

That one body should be fill'd

With all graces wide-enlarg'd.

Nature presently distill'd

Helen's cheek, but not her heart,

Cleopatra's majesty,

Atalanta's better part,

Sad Lucretia's modesty.

Thus Rosalinde of many parts

By heavenly synod was devis'd,

Of many faces, eyes, and hearts,

To have the touches dearest priz'd.

Heaven would that she these gifts should have,

And I to live and die her slave.'

ROSALIND. O most gentle Jupiter! What tedious homily of love

have

you wearied your parishioners withal, and never cried 'Have

patience, good people.'

CELIA. How now! Back, friends; shepherd, go off a little; go

with

him, sirrah.

TOUCHSTONE. Come, shepherd, let us make an honourable retreat;

though not with bag and baggage, yet with scrip and

scrippage.

Exeunt CORIN and TOUCHSTONE

CELIA. Didst thou hear these verses?

ROSALIND. O, yes, I heard them all, and more too; for some of

them

had in them more feet than the verses would bear.

CELIA. That's no matter; the feet might bear the verses.

ROSALIND. Ay, but the feet were lame, and could not bear

themselves

without the verse, and therefore stood lamely in the verse.

CELIA. But didst thou hear without wondering how thy name

should be

hang'd and carved upon these trees?

ROSALIND. I was seven of the nine days out of the wonder before

you

came; for look here what I found on a palm-tree. I was never

berhym'd since Pythagoras' time that I was an Irish rat,

which I

can hardly remember.

CELIA. Trow you who hath done this?

ROSALIND. Is it a man?

CELIA. And a chain, that you once wore, about his neck.

Change you colour?

ROSALIND. I prithee, who?

CELIA. O Lord, Lord! it is a hard matter for friends to meet;

but

mountains may be remov'd with earthquakes, and so encounter.

ROSALIND. Nay, but who is it?

CELIA. Is it possible?

ROSALIND. Nay, I prithee now, with most petitionary vehemence,

tell

me who it is.

CELIA. O wonderful, wonderful, most wonderful wonderful, and

yet

again wonderful, and after that, out of all whooping!

ROSALIND. Good my complexion! dost thou think, though I am

caparison'd like a man, I have a doublet and hose in my

disposition? One inch of delay more is a South Sea of

discovery.

I prithee tell me who is it quickly, and speak apace. I would

thou could'st stammer, that thou mightst pour this conceal'd

man

out of thy mouth, as wine comes out of narrow-mouth'd bottle-

either too much at once or none at all. I prithee take the

cork

out of thy mouth that I may drink thy tidings.

CELIA. So you may put a man in your belly.

ROSALIND. Is he of God's making? What manner of man?

Is his head worth a hat or his chin worth a beard?

CELIA. Nay, he hath but a little beard.

ROSALIND. Why, God will send more if the man will be thankful.

Let

me stay the growth of his beard, if thou delay me not the

knowledge of his chin.

CELIA. It is young Orlando, that tripp'd up the wrestler's

heels

and your heart both in an instant.

ROSALIND. Nay, but the devil take mocking! Speak sad brow and

true

maid.

CELIA. I' faith, coz, 'tis he.

ROSALIND. Orlando?

CELIA. Orlando.

ROSALIND. Alas the day! what shall I do with my doublet and

hose?

What did he when thou saw'st him? What said he? How look'd

he?

Wherein went he? What makes he here? Did he ask for me? Where

remains he? How parted he with thee? And when shalt thou see

him

again? Answer me in one word.

CELIA. You must borrow me Gargantua's mouth first; 'tis a word

too

great for any mouth of this age's size. To say ay and no to

these

particulars is more than to answer in a catechism.

ROSALIND. But doth he know that I am in this forest, and in

man's

apparel? Looks he as freshly as he did the day he wrestled?

CELIA. It is as easy to count atomies as to resolve the

propositions of a lover; but take a taste of my finding him,

and

relish it with good observance. I found him under a tree,

like a

dropp'd acorn.

ROSALIND. It may well be call'd Jove's tree, when it drops

forth

such fruit.

CELIA. Give me audience, good madam.

ROSALIND. Proceed.

CELIA. There lay he, stretch'd along like a wounded knight.

ROSALIND. Though it be pity to see such a sight, it well

becomes

the ground.

CELIA. Cry 'Holla' to thy tongue, I prithee; it curvets

unseasonably. He was furnish'd like a hunter.

ROSALIND. O, ominous! he comes to kill my heart.

CELIA. I would sing my song without a burden; thou bring'st me

out

of tune.

ROSALIND. Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I must

speak.

Sweet, say on.

CELIA. You bring me out. Soft! comes he not here?

Enter ORLANDO and JAQUES

ROSALIND. 'Tis he; slink by, and note him.

JAQUES. I thank you for your company; but, good faith, I had as

lief have been myself alone.

ORLANDO. And so had I; but yet, for fashion sake, I thank you

too

for your society.

JAQUES. God buy you; let's meet as little as we can.

ORLANDO. I do desire we may be better strangers.

JAQUES. I pray you mar no more trees with writing love songs in

their barks.

ORLANDO. I pray you mar no more of my verses with reading them

ill-favouredly.

JAQUES. Rosalind is your love's name?

ORLANDO. Yes, just.

JAQUES. I do not like her name.

ORLANDO. There was no thought of pleasing you when she was

christen'd.

JAQUES. What stature is she of?

ORLANDO. Just as high as my heart.

JAQUES. You are full of pretty answers. Have you not been

acquainted with goldsmiths' wives, and conn'd them out of

rings?

ORLANDO. Not so; but I answer you right painted cloth, from

whence

you have studied your questions.

JAQUES. You have a nimble wit; I think 'twas made of Atalanta's

heels. Will you sit down with me? and we two will rail

against

our mistress the world, and all our misery.

ORLANDO. I will chide no breather in the world but myself,

against

whom I know most faults.

JAQUES. The worst fault you have is to be in love.

ORLANDO. 'Tis a fault I will not change for your best virtue. I

weary of you.

JAQUES. By my troth, I was seeking for a fool when I found you.

ORLANDO. He is drown'd in the brook; look but in, and you shall

see

him.

JAQUES. There I shall see mine own figure.

ORLANDO. Which I take to be either a fool or a cipher.

JAQUES. I'll tarry no longer with you; farewell, good Signior

Love.

ORLANDO. I am glad of your departure; adieu, good Monsieur

Melancholy.

Exit JAQUES

ROSALIND. [Aside to CELIA] I will speak to him like a saucy

lackey,

and under that habit play the knave with him.- Do you hear,

forester?

ORLANDO. Very well; what would you?

ROSALIND. I pray you, what is't o'clock?

ORLANDO. You should ask me what time o' day; there's no clock

the forest.

ROSALIND. Then there is no true lover in the forest, else

sighing

every minute and groaning every hour would detect the lazy

foot

of Time as well as a clock.

ORLANDO. And why not the swift foot of Time? Had not that been

proper?

ROSALIND. By no means, sir. Time travels in divers paces with

divers persons. I'll tell you who Time ambles withal, who

Time

trots withal, who Time gallops withal, and who he stands

still

withal.

ORLANDO. I prithee, who doth he trot withal?

ROSALIND. Marry, he trots hard with a young maid between the

contract of her marriage and the day it is solemniz'd; if the

interim be but a se'nnight, Time's pace is so hard that it

seems

the length of seven year.

ORLANDO. Who ambles Time withal?

ROSALIND. With a priest that lacks Latin and a rich man that

hath

not the gout; for the one sleeps easily because he cannot

study,

and the other lives merrily because he feels no pain; the one

lacking the burden of lean and wasteful learning, the other

knowing no burden of heavy tedious penury. These Time ambles

withal.

ORLANDO. Who doth he gallop withal?

ROSALIND. With a thief to the gallows; for though he go as

softly

as foot can fall, he thinks himself too soon there.

ORLANDO. Who stays it still withal?

ROSALIND. With lawyers in the vacation; for they sleep between

term

and term, and then they perceive not how Time moves.

ORLANDO. Where dwell you, pretty youth?

ROSALIND. With this shepherdess, my sister; here in the skirts

the forest, like fringe upon a petticoat.

ORLANDO. Are you native of this place?

ROSALIND. As the coney that you see dwell where she is kindled.

ORLANDO. Your accent is something finer than you could purchase

so removed a dwelling.

ROSALIND. I have been told so of many; but indeed an old

religious

uncle of mine taught me to speak, who was in his youth an

inland

man; one that knew courtship too well, for there he fell in

love.

I have heard him read many lectures against it; and I thank

God I

am not a woman, to be touch'd with so many giddy offences as

hath generally tax'd their whole sex withal.

ORLANDO. Can you remember any of the principal evils that he

laid

to the charge of women?

ROSALIND. There were none principal; they were all like one

another

as halfpence are; every one fault seeming monstrous till his

fellow-fault came to match it.

ORLANDO. I prithee recount some of them.

ROSALIND. No; I will not cast away my physic but on those that

are

sick. There is a man haunts the forest that abuses our young

plants with carving 'Rosalind' on their barks; hangs odes

upon

hawthorns and elegies on brambles; all, forsooth, deifying

the

name of Rosalind. If I could meet that fancy-monger, I would

give

him some good counsel, for he seems to have the quotidian of

love

upon him.

ORLANDO. I am he that is so love-shak'd; I pray you tell me

your

remedy.

ROSALIND. There is none of my uncle's marks upon you; he taught

how to know a man in love; in which cage of rushes I am sure

you

are not prisoner.

ORLANDO. What were his marks?

ROSALIND. A lean cheek, which you have not; a blue eye and

sunken,

which you have not; an unquestionable spirit, which you have

not;

a beard neglected, which you have not; but I pardon you for

that,

for simply your having in beard is a younger brother's

revenue.

Then your hose should be ungarter'd, your bonnet unbanded,

your

sleeve unbutton'd, your shoe untied, and every thing about

you

demonstrating a careless desolation. But you are no such man;

you

are rather point-device in your accoutrements, as loving

yourself

than seeming the lover of any other.

ORLANDO. Fair youth, I would I could make thee believe I love.

ROSALIND. Me believe it! You may as soon make her that you love

believe it; which, I warrant, she is apter to do than to

confess

she does. That is one of the points in the which women still

give

the lie to their consciences. But, in good sooth, are you he

that

hangs the verses on the trees wherein Rosalind is so admired?

ORLANDO. I swear to thee, youth, by the white hand of Rosalind,

am that he, that unfortunate he.

ROSALIND. But are you so much in love as your rhymes speak?

ORLANDO. Neither rhyme nor reason can express how much.

ROSALIND. Love is merely a madness; and, I tell you, deserves

well a dark house and a whip as madmen do; and the reason why

they are not so punish'd and cured is that the lunacy is so

ordinary that the whippers are in love too. Yet I profess

curing

it by counsel.

ORLANDO. Did you ever cure any so?

ROSALIND. Yes, one; and in this manner. He was to imagine me

his

love, his mistress; and I set him every day to woo me; at

which

time would I, being but a moonish youth, grieve, be

effeminate,

changeable, longing and liking, proud, fantastical, apish,

shallow, inconstant, full of tears, full of smiles; for every

passion something and for no passion truly anything, as boys

and

women are for the most part cattle of this colour; would now

him, now loathe him; then entertain him, then forswear him;

now

weep for him, then spit at him; that I drave my suitor from

his

mad humour of love to a living humour of madness; which was,

forswear the full stream of the world and to live in a nook

merely monastic. And thus I cur'd him; and this way will I

take

upon me to wash your liver as clean as a sound sheep's heart,

that there shall not be one spot of love in 't.

ORLANDO. I would not be cured, youth.

ROSALIND. I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind,

and

come every day to my cote and woo me.

ORLANDO. Now, by the faith of my love, I will. Tell me where it

is.

ROSALIND. Go with me to it, and I'll show it you; and, by the

way,

you shall tell me where in the forest you live. Will you go?

ORLANDO. With all my heart, good youth.

ROSALIND. Nay, you must call me Rosalind. Come, sister, will

you

go? Exeunt

SCENE III.

The forest

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY; JAQUES behind

TOUCHSTONE. Come apace, good Audrey; I will fetch up your

goats,

Audrey. And how, Audrey, am I the man yet? Doth my simple

feature

content you?

AUDREY. Your features! Lord warrant us! What features?

TOUCHSTONE. I am here with thee and thy goats, as the most

capricious poet, honest Ovid, was among the Goths.

JAQUES. [Aside] O knowledge ill-inhabited, worse than Jove in a

thatch'd house!

TOUCHSTONE. When a man's verses cannot be understood, nor a

man's

good wit seconded with the forward child understanding, it

strikes a man more dead than a great reckoning in a little

room.

Truly, I would the gods had made thee poetical.

AUDREY. I do not know what 'poetical' is. Is it honest in deed

and

word? Is it a true thing?

TOUCHSTONE. No, truly; for the truest poetry is the most

feigning,

and lovers are given to poetry; and what they swear in poetry

may

be said as lovers they do feign.

AUDREY. Do you wish, then, that the gods had made me poetical?

TOUCHSTONE. I do, truly, for thou swear'st to me thou art

honest;

now, if thou wert a poet, I might have some hope thou didst

feign.

AUDREY. Would you not have me honest?

TOUCHSTONE. No, truly, unless thou wert hard-favour'd; for

honesty

coupled to beauty is to have honey a sauce to sugar.

JAQUES. [Aside] A material fool!

AUDREY. Well, I am not fair; and therefore I pray the gods make

honest.

TOUCHSTONE. Truly, and to cast away honesty upon a foul slut

were

to put good meat into an unclean dish.

AUDREY. I am not a slut, though I thank the gods I am foul.

TOUCHSTONE. Well, praised be the gods for thy foulness;

sluttishness may come hereafter. But be it as it may be, I

will

marry thee; and to that end I have been with Sir Oliver

Martext,

the vicar of the next village, who hath promis'd to meet me

this place of the forest, and to couple us.

JAQUES. [Aside] I would fain see this meeting.

AUDREY. Well, the gods give us joy!

TOUCHSTONE. Amen. A man may, if he were of a fearful heart,

stagger

in this attempt; for here we have no temple but the wood, no

assembly but horn-beasts. But what though? Courage! As horns

are

odious, they are necessary. It is said: 'Many a man knows no

end

of his goods.' Right! Many a man has good horns and knows no

end

of them. Well, that is the dowry of his wife; 'tis none of

his

own getting. Horns? Even so. Poor men alone? No, no; the

noblest

deer hath them as huge as the rascal. Is the single man

therefore

blessed? No; as a wall'd town is more worthier than a

village, so

is the forehead of a married man more honourable than the

bare

brow of a bachelor; and by how much defence is better than no

skill, by so much is horn more precious than to want. Here

comes

Sir Oliver.

Enter SIR OLIVER MARTEXT

Sir Oliver Martext, you are well met. Will you dispatch us

here

under this tree, or shall we go with you to your chapel?

MARTEXT. Is there none here to give the woman?

TOUCHSTONE. I will not take her on gift of any man.

MARTEXT. Truly, she must be given, or the marriage is not

lawful.

JAQUES. [Discovering himself] Proceed, proceed; I'll give her.

TOUCHSTONE. Good even, good Master What-ye-call't; how do you,

sir?

You are very well met. Goddild you for your last company. I

very glad to see you. Even a toy in hand here, sir. Nay; pray

cover'd.

JAQUES. Will you be married, motley?

TOUCHSTONE. As the ox hath his bow, sir, the horse his curb,

and

the falcon her bells, so man hath his desires; and as pigeons

bill, so wedlock would be nibbling.

JAQUES. And will you, being a man of your breeding, be married

under a bush, like a beggar? Get you to church and have a

good

priest that can tell you what marriage is; this fellow will

but

join you together as they join wainscot; then one of you will

prove a shrunk panel, and like green timber warp, warp.

TOUCHSTONE. [Aside] I am not in the mind but I were better to

married of him than of another; for he is not like to marry

well; and not being well married, it will be a good excuse

for me

hereafter to leave my wife.

JAQUES. Go thou with me, and let me counsel thee.

TOUCHSTONE. Come, sweet Audrey;

We must be married or we must live in bawdry.

Farewell, good Master Oliver. Not-

O sweet Oliver,

O brave Oliver,

Leave me not behind thee.

But-

Wind away,

Begone, I say,

I will not to wedding with thee.

Exeunt JAQUES, TOUCHSTONE, and AUDREY

MARTEXT. 'Tis no matter; ne'er a fantastical knave of them all

shall flout me out of my calling. Exit

SCENE IV.

The forest

Enter ROSALIND and CELIA

ROSALIND. Never talk to me; I will weep.

CELIA. Do, I prithee; but yet have the grace to consider that

tears

do not become a man.

ROSALIND. But have I not cause to weep?

CELIA. As good cause as one would desire; therefore weep.

ROSALIND. His very hair is of the dissembling colour.

CELIA. Something browner than Judas's.

Marry, his kisses are Judas's own children.

ROSALIND. I' faith, his hair is of a good colour.

CELIA. An excellent colour: your chestnut was ever the only

colour.

ROSALIND. And his kissing is as full of sanctity as the touch

holy bread.

CELIA. He hath bought a pair of cast lips of Diana. A nun of

winter's sisterhood kisses not more religiously; the very ice

chastity is in them.

ROSALIND. But why did he swear he would come this morning, and

comes not?

CELIA. Nay, certainly, there is no truth in him.

ROSALIND. Do you think so?

CELIA. Yes; I think he is not a pick-purse nor a horse-stealer;

but

for his verity in love, I do think him as concave as covered

goblet or a worm-eaten nut.

ROSALIND. Not true in love?

CELIA. Yes, when he is in; but I think he is not in.

ROSALIND. You have heard him swear downright he was.

CELIA. 'Was' is not 'is'; besides, the oath of a lover is no

stronger than the word of a tapster; they are both the

confirmer

of false reckonings. He attends here in the forest on the

Duke,

your father.

ROSALIND. I met the Duke yesterday, and had much question with

him.

He asked me of what parentage I was; I told him, of as good

he; so he laugh'd and let me go. But what talk we of fathers

when

there is such a man as Orlando?

CELIA. O, that's a brave man! He writes brave verses, speaks

brave

words, swears brave oaths, and breaks them bravely, quite

traverse, athwart the heart of his lover; as a puny tilter,

that

spurs his horse but on one side, breaks his staff like a

noble

goose. But all's brave that youth mounts and folly guides.

Who

comes here?

Enter CORIN

CORIN. Mistress and master, you have oft enquired

After the shepherd that complain'd of love,

Who you saw sitting by me on the turf,

Praising the proud disdainful shepherdess

That was his mistress.

CELIA. Well, and what of him?

CORIN. If you will see a pageant truly play'd

Between the pale complexion of true love

And the red glow of scorn and proud disdain,

Go hence a little, and I shall conduct you,

If you will mark it.

ROSALIND. O, come, let us remove!

The sight of lovers feedeth those in love.

Bring us to this sight, and you shall say

I'll prove a busy actor in their play. Exeunt

SCENE V.

Another part of the forest

Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE

SILVIUS. Sweet Phebe, do not scorn me; do not, Phebe.

Say that you love me not; but say not so

In bitterness. The common executioner,

Whose heart th' accustom'd sight of death makes hard,

Falls not the axe upon the humbled neck

But first begs pardon. Will you sterner be

Than he that dies and lives by bloody drops?

Enter ROSALIND, CELIA, and CORIN, at a distance

PHEBE. I would not be thy executioner;

I fly thee, for I would not injure thee.

Thou tell'st me there is murder in mine eye.

'Tis pretty, sure, and very probable,

That eyes, that are the frail'st and softest things,

Who shut their coward gates on atomies,

Should be call'd tyrants, butchers, murderers!

Now I do frown on thee with all my heart;

And if mine eyes can wound, now let them kill thee.

Now counterfeit to swoon; why, now fall down;

Or, if thou canst not, O, for shame, for shame,

Lie not, to say mine eyes are murderers.

Now show the wound mine eye hath made in thee.

Scratch thee but with a pin, and there remains

Some scar of it; lean upon a rush,

The cicatrice and capable impressure

Thy palm some moment keeps; but now mine eyes,

Which I have darted at thee, hurt thee not;

Nor, I am sure, there is not force in eyes

That can do hurt.

SILVIUS. O dear Phebe,

If ever- as that ever may be near-

You meet in some fresh cheek the power of fancy,

Then shall you know the wounds invisible

That love's keen arrows make.

PHEBE. But till that time

Come not thou near me; and when that time comes,

Afflict me with thy mocks, pity me not;

As till that time I shall not pity thee.

ROSALIND. [Advancing] And why, I pray you? Who might be your

mother,

That you insult, exult, and all at once,

Over the wretched? What though you have no beauty-

As, by my faith, I see no more in you

Than without candle may go dark to bed-

Must you be therefore proud and pitiless?

Why, what means this? Why do you look on me?

I see no more in you than in the ordinary

Of nature's sale-work. 'Od's my little life,

I think she means to tangle my eyes too!

No faith, proud mistress, hope not after it;

'Tis not your inky brows, your black silk hair,

Your bugle eyeballs, nor your cheek of cream,

That can entame my spirits to your worship.

You foolish shepherd, wherefore do you follow her,

Like foggy south, puffing with wind and rain?

You are a thousand times a properer man

Than she a woman. 'Tis such fools as you

That makes the world full of ill-favour'd children.

'Tis not her glass, but you, that flatters her;

And out of you she sees herself more proper

Than any of her lineaments can show her.

But, mistress, know yourself. Down on your knees,

And thank heaven, fasting, for a good man's love;

For I must tell you friendly in your ear:

Sell when you can; you are not for all markets.

Cry the man mercy, love him, take his offer;

Foul is most foul, being foul to be a scoffer.

So take her to thee, shepherd. Fare you well.

PHEBE. Sweet youth, I pray you chide a year together;

I had rather hear you chide than this man woo.

ROSALIND. He's fall'n in love with your foulness, and she'll

fall

in love with my anger. If it be so, as fast as she answers

thee

with frowning looks, I'll sauce her with bitter words. Why

look

you so upon me?

PHEBE. For no ill will I bear you.

ROSALIND. I pray you do not fall in love with me,

For I am falser than vows made in wine;

Besides, I like you not. If you will know my house,

'Tis at the tuft of olives here hard by.

Will you go, sister? Shepherd, ply her hard.

Come, sister. Shepherdess, look on him better,

And be not proud; though all the world could see,

None could be so abus'd in sight as he.

Come, to our flock. Exeunt ROSALIND, CELIA, and CORIN

PHEBE. Dead shepherd, now I find thy saw of might:

'Who ever lov'd that lov'd not at first sight?'

SILVIUS. Sweet Phebe.

PHEBE. Ha! what say'st thou, Silvius?

SILVIUS. Sweet Phebe, pity me.

PHEBE. Why, I am sorry for thee, gentle Silvius.

SILVIUS. Wherever sorrow is, relief would be.

If you do sorrow at my grief in love,

By giving love, your sorrow and my grief

Were both extermin'd.

PHEBE. Thou hast my love; is not that neighbourly?

SILVIUS. I would have you.

PHEBE. Why, that were covetousness.

Silvius, the time was that I hated thee;

And yet it is not that I bear thee love;

But since that thou canst talk of love so well,

Thy company, which erst was irksome to me,

I will endure; and I'll employ thee too.

But do not look for further recompense

Than thine own gladness that thou art employ'd.

SILVIUS. So holy and so perfect is my love,

And I in such a poverty of grace,

That I shall think it a most plenteous crop

To glean the broken ears after the man

That the main harvest reaps; loose now and then

A scatt'red smile, and that I'll live upon.

PHEBE. Know'st thou the youth that spoke to me erewhile?

SILVIUS. Not very well; but I have met him oft;

And he hath bought the cottage and the bounds

That the old carlot once was master of.

PHEBE. Think not I love him, though I ask for him;

'Tis but a peevish boy; yet he talks well.

But what care I for words? Yet words do well

When he that speaks them pleases those that hear.

It is a pretty youth- not very pretty;

But, sure, he's proud; and yet his pride becomes him.

He'll make a proper man. The best thing in him

Is his complexion; and faster than his tongue

Did make offence, his eye did heal it up.

He is not very tall; yet for his years he's tall;

His leg is but so-so; and yet 'tis well.

There was a pretty redness in his lip,

A little riper and more lusty red

Than that mix'd in his cheek; 'twas just the difference

Betwixt the constant red and mingled damask.

There be some women, Silvius, had they mark'd him

In parcels as I did, would have gone near

To fall in love with him; but, for my part,

I love him not, nor hate him not; and yet

I have more cause to hate him than to love him;

For what had he to do to chide at me?

He said mine eyes were black, and my hair black,

And, now I am rememb'red, scorn'd at me.

I marvel why I answer'd not again;

But that's all one: omittance is no quittance.

I'll write to him a very taunting letter,

And thou shalt bear it; wilt thou, Silvius?

SILVIUS. Phebe, with all my heart.

PHEBE. I'll write it straight;

The matter's in my head and in my heart;

I will be bitter with him and passing short.

Go with me, Silvius. Exeunt

<<THIS ELECTRONIC VERSION OF THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM

PROVIDED BY PROJECT GUTENBERG ETEXT OF CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY

WITH PERMISSION. ELECTRONIC AND MACHINE READABLE COPIES MAY BE

DISTRIBUTED SO LONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) ARE FOR YOUR OR OTHERS

PERSONAL USE ONLY, AND (2) ARE NOT DISTRIBUTED OR USED

COMMERCIALLY. PROHIBITED COMMERCIAL DISTRIBUTION INCLUDES BY ANY

SERVICE THAT CHARGES FOR DOWNLOAD TIME OR FOR MEMBERSHIP.>>

ACT IV. SCENE I.

The forest

Enter ROSALIND, CELIA, and JAQUES

JAQUES. I prithee, pretty youth, let me be better acquainted

with

thee.

ROSALIND. They say you are a melancholy fellow.

JAQUES. I am so; I do love it better than laughing.

ROSALIND. Those that are in extremity of either are abominable

fellows, and betray themselves to every modern censure worse

than

drunkards.

JAQUES. Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing.

ROSALIND. Why then, 'tis good to be a post.

JAQUES. I have neither the scholar's melancholy, which is

emulation; nor the musician's, which is fantastical; nor the

courtier's, which is proud; nor the soldier's, which is

ambitious; nor the lawyer's, which is politic; nor the

lady's,

which is nice; nor the lover's, which is all these; but it is

melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted

from many objects, and, indeed, the sundry contemplation of

travels; in which my often rumination wraps me in a most

humorous

sadness.

ROSALIND. A traveller! By my faith, you have great reason to be

sad. I fear you have sold your own lands to see other men's;

then

to have seen much and to have nothing is to have rich eyes

and

poor hands.

JAQUES. Yes, I have gain'd my experience.

Enter ORLANDO

ROSALIND. And your experience makes you sad. I had rather have

fool to make me merry than experience to make me sad- and to

travel for it too.

ORLANDO. Good day, and happiness, dear Rosalind!

JAQUES. Nay, then, God buy you, an you talk in blank verse.

ROSALIND. Farewell, Monsieur Traveller; look you lisp and wear

strange suits, disable all the benefits of your own country,

out of love with your nativity, and almost chide God for

making

you that countenance you are; or I will scarce think you have

swam in a gondola. [Exit JAQUES] Why, how now, Orlando! where

have you been all this while? You a lover! An you serve me

such

another trick, never come in my sight more.

ORLANDO. My fair Rosalind, I come within an hour of my promise.

ROSALIND. Break an hour's promise in love! He that will divide

minute into a thousand parts, and break but a part of the

thousand part of a minute in the affairs of love, it may be

said

of him that Cupid hath clapp'd him o' th' shoulder, but I'll

warrant him heart-whole.

ORLANDO. Pardon me, dear Rosalind.

ROSALIND. Nay, an you be so tardy, come no more in my sight. I

had

as lief be woo'd of a snail.

ORLANDO. Of a snail!

ROSALIND. Ay, of a snail; for though he comes slowly, he

carries

his house on his head- a better jointure, I think, than you

make

a woman; besides, he brings his destiny with him.

ORLANDO. What's that?

ROSALIND. Why, horns; which such as you are fain to be

beholding to

your wives for; but he comes armed in his fortune, and

prevents

the slander of his wife.

ORLANDO. Virtue is no horn-maker; and my Rosalind is virtuous.

ROSALIND. And I am your Rosalind.

CELIA. It pleases him to call you so; but he hath a Rosalind of

better leer than you.

ROSALIND. Come, woo me, woo me; for now I am in a holiday

humour,

and like enough to consent. What would you say to me now, an

were your very very Rosalind?

ORLANDO. I would kiss before I spoke.

ROSALIND. Nay, you were better speak first; and when you were

gravell'd for lack of matter, you might take occasion to

kiss.

Very good orators, when they are out, they will spit; and for

lovers lacking- God warn us!- matter, the cleanliest shift is

kiss.

ORLANDO. How if the kiss be denied?

ROSALIND. Then she puts you to entreaty, and there begins new

matter.

ORLANDO. Who could be out, being before his beloved mistress?

ROSALIND. Marry, that should you, if I were your mistress; or I

should think my honesty ranker than my wit.

ORLANDO. What, of my suit?

ROSALIND. Not out of your apparel, and yet out of your suit.

Am not I your Rosalind?

ORLANDO. I take some joy to say you are, because I would be

talking

of her.

ROSALIND. Well, in her person, I say I will not have you.

ORLANDO. Then, in mine own person, I die.

ROSALIND. No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is almost

six

thousand years old, and in all this time there was not any

man

died in his own person, videlicet, in a love-cause. Troilus

had

his brains dash'd out with a Grecian club; yet he did what he

could to die before, and he is one of the patterns of love.

Leander, he would have liv'd many a fair year, though Hero

had

turn'd nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night;

for,

good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont,

and,

being taken with the cramp, was drown'd; and the foolish

chroniclers of that age found it was- Hero of Sestos. But

these

are all lies: men have died from time to time, and worms have

eaten them, but not for love.

ORLANDO. I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind; for,

protest, her frown might kill me.

ROSALIND. By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now I

will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition; and

ask me

what you will, I will grant it.

ORLANDO. Then love me, Rosalind.

ROSALIND. Yes, faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays, and all.

ORLANDO. And wilt thou have me?

ROSALIND. Ay, and twenty such.

ORLANDO. What sayest thou?

ROSALIND. Are you not good?

ORLANDO. I hope so.

ROSALIND. Why then, can one desire too much of a good thing?

Come,

sister, you shall be the priest, and marry us. Give me your

hand,

Orlando. What do you say, sister?

ORLANDO. Pray thee, marry us.

CELIA. I cannot say the words.

ROSALIND. You must begin 'Will you, Orlando'-

CELIA. Go to. Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind?

ORLANDO. I will.

ROSALIND. Ay, but when?

ORLANDO. Why, now; as fast as she can marry us.

ROSALIND. Then you must say 'I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.'

ORLANDO. I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.

ROSALIND. I might ask you for your commission; but- I do take

thee,

Orlando, for my husband. There's a girl goes before the

priest;

and, certainly, a woman's thought runs before her actions.

ORLANDO. So do all thoughts; they are wing'd.

ROSALIND. Now tell me how long you would have her, after you

have

possess'd her.

ORLANDO. For ever and a day.

ROSALIND. Say 'a day' without the 'ever.' No, no, Orlando; men

are

April when they woo, December when they wed: maids are May

when

they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I

will

be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his

hen,

more clamorous than a parrot against rain, more new-fangled

than

an ape, more giddy in my desires than a monkey. I will weep

for

nothing, like Diana in the fountain, and I will do that when

you

are dispos'd to be merry; I will laugh like a hyen, and that

when

thou are inclin'd to sleep.

ORLANDO. But will my Rosalind do so?

ROSALIND. By my life, she will do as I do.

ORLANDO. O, but she is wise.

ROSALIND. Or else she could not have the wit to do this. The

wiser,

the waywarder. Make the doors upon a woman's wit, and it will

out

at the casement; shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole;

stop

that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chimney.

ORLANDO. A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say

'Wit,

whither wilt?' ROSALIND. Nay, you might keep that check for

it, till you met your

wife's wit going to your neighbour's bed.

ORLANDO. And what wit could wit have to excuse that?

ROSALIND. Marry, to say she came to seek you there. You shall

never

take her without her answer, unless you take her without her

tongue. O, that woman that cannot make her fault her

husband's

occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will

breed it like a fool!

ORLANDO. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee.

ROSALIND. Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours!

ORLANDO. I must attend the Duke at dinner; by two o'clock I

will be

with thee again.

ROSALIND. Ay, go your ways, go your ways. I knew what you would

prove; my friends told me as much, and I thought no less.

That

flattering tongue of yours won me. 'Tis but one cast away,

and

so, come death! Two o'clock is your hour?

ORLANDO. Ay, sweet Rosalind.

ROSALIND. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend me,

and

by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one

jot

of your promise, or come one minute behind your hour, I will

think you the most pathetical break-promise, and the most

hollow

lover, and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that

may

be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful. Therefore

beware my censure, and keep your promise.

ORLANDO. With no less religion than if thou wert indeed my

Rosalind; so, adieu.

ROSALIND. Well, Time is the old justice that examines all such

offenders, and let Time try. Adieu. Exit ORLANDO

CELIA. You have simply misus'd our sex in your love-prate. We

must

have your doublet and hose pluck'd over your head, and show

the

world what the bird hath done to her own nest.

ROSALIND. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou

didst

know how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be

sounded;

my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the Bay of

Portugal.

CELIA. Or rather, bottomless; that as fast as you pour

affection

in, it runs out.

ROSALIND. No; that same wicked bastard of Venus, that was begot

thought, conceiv'd of spleen, and born of madness; that blind

rascally boy, that abuses every one's eyes, because his own

are

out- let him be judge how deep I am in love. I'll tell thee,

Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando. I'll go find

shadow, and sigh till he come.

CELIA. And I'll sleep. Exeunt

SCENE II.

The forest

Enter JAQUES and LORDS, in the habit of foresters

JAQUES. Which is he that killed the deer?

LORD. Sir, it was I.

JAQUES. Let's present him to the Duke, like a Roman conqueror;

and

it would do well to set the deer's horns upon his head for a

branch of victory. Have you no song, forester, for this

purpose?

LORD. Yes, sir.

JAQUES. Sing it; 'tis no matter how it be in tune, so it make

noise

enough.

SONG.

What shall he have that kill'd the deer?

His leather skin and horns to wear.

[The rest shall hear this burden:]

Then sing him home.

Take thou no scorn to wear the horn;

It was a crest ere thou wast born.

Thy father's father wore it;

And thy father bore it.

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn,

Is not a thing to laugh to scorn. Exeunt

SCENE III.

The forest

Enter ROSALIND and CELIA

ROSALIND. How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock?

And here much Orlando!

CELIA. I warrant you, with pure love and troubled brain, he

hath

ta'en his bow and arrows, and is gone forth- to sleep. Look,

who

comes here.

Enter SILVIUS

SILVIUS. My errand is to you, fair youth;

My gentle Phebe did bid me give you this.

I know not the contents; but, as I guess

By the stern brow and waspish action

Which she did use as she was writing of it,

It bears an angry tenour. Pardon me,

I am but as a guiltless messenger.

ROSALIND. Patience herself would startle at this letter,

And play the swaggerer. Bear this, bear all.

She says I am not fair, that I lack manners;

She calls me proud, and that she could not love me,

Were man as rare as Phoenix. 'Od's my will!

Her love is not the hare that I do hunt;

Why writes she so to me? Well, shepherd, well,

This is a letter of your own device.

SILVIUS. No, I protest, I know not the contents;

Phebe did write it.

ROSALIND. Come, come, you are a fool,

And turn'd into the extremity of love.

I saw her hand; she has a leathern hand,

A freestone-colour'd hand; I verily did think

That her old gloves were on, but 'twas her hands;

She has a huswife's hand- but that's no matter.

I say she never did invent this letter:

This is a man's invention, and his hand.

SILVIUS. Sure, it is hers.

ROSALIND. Why, 'tis a boisterous and a cruel style;

A style for challengers. Why, she defies me,

Like Turk to Christian. Women's gentle brain

Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention,

Such Ethiope words, blacker in their effect

Than in their countenance. Will you hear the letter?

SILVIUS. So please you, for I never heard it yet;

Yet heard too much of Phebe's cruelty.

ROSALIND. She Phebes me: mark how the tyrant writes.

[Reads]

'Art thou god to shepherd turn'd,

That a maiden's heart hath burn'd?'

Can a woman rail thus?

SILVIUS. Call you this railing?

ROSALIND. 'Why, thy godhead laid apart,

Warr'st thou with a woman's heart?'

Did you ever hear such railing?

'Whiles the eye of man did woo me,

That could do no vengeance to me.'

Meaning me a beast.

'If the scorn of your bright eyne

Have power to raise such love in mine,

Alack, in me what strange effect

Would they work in mild aspect!

Whiles you chid me, I did love;

How then might your prayers move!

He that brings this love to the

Little knows this love in me;

And by him seal up thy mind,

Whether that thy youth and kind

Will the faithful offer take

Of me and all that I can make;

Or else by him my love deny,

And then I'll study how to die.'

SILVIUS. Call you this chiding?

CELIA. Alas, poor shepherd!

ROSALIND. Do you pity him? No, he deserves no pity. Wilt thou

love

such a woman? What, to make thee an instrument, and play

false

strains upon thee! Not to be endur'd! Well, go your way to

her,

for I see love hath made thee tame snake, and say this to

her-

that if she love me, I charge her to love thee; if she will

not,

I will never have her unless thou entreat for her. If you be

true lover, hence, and not a word; for here comes more

company.

Exit SILVIUS

Enter OLIVER

OLIVER. Good morrow, fair ones; pray you, if you know,

Where in the purlieus of this forest stands

A sheep-cote fenc'd about with olive trees?

CELIA. West of this place, down in the neighbour bottom.

The rank of osiers by the murmuring stream

Left on your right hand brings you to the place.

But at this hour the house doth keep itself;

There's none within.

OLIVER. If that an eye may profit by a tongue,

Then should I know you by description-

Such garments, and such years: 'The boy is fair,

Of female favour, and bestows himself

Like a ripe sister; the woman low,

And browner than her brother.' Are not you

The owner of the house I did inquire for?

CELIA. It is no boast, being ask'd, to say we are.

OLIVER. Orlando doth commend him to you both;

And to that youth he calls his Rosalind

He sends this bloody napkin. Are you he?

ROSALIND. I am. What must we understand by this?

OLIVER. Some of my shame; if you will know of me

What man I am, and how, and why, and where,

This handkercher was stain'd.

CELIA. I pray you, tell it.

OLIVER. When last the young Orlando parted from you,

He left a promise to return again

Within an hour; and, pacing through the forest,

Chewing the food of sweet and bitter fancy,

Lo, what befell! He threw his eye aside,

And mark what object did present itself.

Under an oak, whose boughs were moss'd with age,

And high top bald with dry antiquity,

A wretched ragged man, o'ergrown with hair,

Lay sleeping on his back. About his neck

A green and gilded snake had wreath'd itself,

Who with her head nimble in threats approach'd

The opening of his mouth; but suddenly,

Seeing Orlando, it unlink'd itself,

And with indented glides did slip away

Into a bush; under which bush's shade

A lioness, with udders all drawn dry,

Lay couching, head on ground, with catlike watch,

When that the sleeping man should stir; for 'tis

The royal disposition of that beast

To prey on nothing that doth seem as dead.

This seen, Orlando did approach the man,

And found it was his brother, his elder brother.

CELIA. O, I have heard him speak of that same brother;

And he did render him the most unnatural

That liv'd amongst men.

OLIVER. And well he might so do,

For well I know he was unnatural.

ROSALIND. But, to Orlando: did he leave him there,

Food to the suck'd and hungry lioness?

OLIVER. Twice did he turn his back, and purpos'd so;

But kindness, nobler ever than revenge,

And nature, stronger than his just occasion,

Made him give battle to the lioness,

Who quickly fell before him; in which hurtling

From miserable slumber I awak'd.

CELIA. Are you his brother?

ROSALIND. Was't you he rescu'd?

CELIA. Was't you that did so oft contrive to kill him?

OLIVER. 'Twas I; but 'tis not I. I do not shame

To tell you what I was, since my conversion

So sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.

ROSALIND. But for the bloody napkin?

OLIVER. By and by.

When from the first to last, betwixt us two,

Tears our recountments had most kindly bath'd,

As how I came into that desert place-

In brief, he led me to the gentle Duke,

Who gave me fresh array and entertainment,

Committing me unto my brother's love;

Who led me instantly unto his cave,

There stripp'd himself, and here upon his arm

The lioness had torn some flesh away,

Which all this while had bled; and now he fainted,

And cried, in fainting, upon Rosalind.

Brief, I recover'd him, bound up his wound,

And, after some small space, being strong at heart,

He sent me hither, stranger as I am,

To tell this story, that you might excuse

His broken promise, and to give this napkin,

Dy'd in his blood, unto the shepherd youth

That he in sport doth call his Rosalind.

[ROSALIND swoons]

CELIA. Why, how now, Ganymede! sweet Ganymede!

OLIVER. Many will swoon when they do look on blood.

CELIA. There is more in it. Cousin Ganymede!

OLIVER. Look, he recovers.

ROSALIND. I would I were at home.

CELIA. We'll lead you thither.

I pray you, will you take him by the arm?

OLIVER. Be of good cheer, youth. You a man!

You lack a man's heart.

ROSALIND. I do so, I confess it. Ah, sirrah, a body would think

this was well counterfeited. I pray you tell your brother how

well I counterfeited. Heigh-ho!

OLIVER. This was not counterfeit; there is too great testimony

your complexion that it was a passion of earnest.

ROSALIND. Counterfeit, I assure you.

OLIVER. Well then, take a good heart and counterfeit to be a

man.

ROSALIND. So I do; but, i' faith, I should have been a woman by

right.

CELIA. Come, you look paler and paler; pray you draw homewards.

Good sir, go with us.

OLIVER. That will I, for I must bear answer back

How you excuse my brother, Rosalind.

ROSALIND. I shall devise something; but, I pray you, commend my

counterfeiting to him. Will you go? Exeunt

<<THIS ELECTRONIC VERSION OF THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM

PROVIDED BY PROJECT GUTENBERG ETEXT OF CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY

WITH PERMISSION. ELECTRONIC AND MACHINE READABLE COPIES MAY BE

DISTRIBUTED SO LONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) ARE FOR YOUR OR OTHERS

PERSONAL USE ONLY, AND (2) ARE NOT DISTRIBUTED OR USED

COMMERCIALLY. PROHIBITED COMMERCIAL DISTRIBUTION INCLUDES BY ANY

SERVICE THAT CHARGES FOR DOWNLOAD TIME OR FOR MEMBERSHIP.>>

ACT V. SCENE I.

The forest

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY

TOUCHSTONE. We shall find a time, Audrey; patience, gentle

Audrey.

AUDREY. Faith, the priest was good enough, for all the old

gentleman's saying.

TOUCHSTONE. A most wicked Sir Oliver, Audrey, a most vile

Martext.

But, Audrey, there is a youth here in the forest lays claim

you.

AUDREY. Ay, I know who 'tis; he hath no interest in me in the

world; here comes the man you mean.

Enter WILLIAM

TOUCHSTONE. It is meat and drink to me to see a clown. By my

troth,

we that have good wits have much to answer for: we shall be

flouting; we cannot hold.

WILLIAM. Good ev'n, Audrey.

AUDREY. God ye good ev'n, William.

WILLIAM. And good ev'n to you, sir.

TOUCHSTONE. Good ev'n, gentle friend. Cover thy head, cover thy

head; nay, prithee be cover'd. How old are you, friend?

WILLIAM. Five and twenty, sir.

TOUCHSTONE. A ripe age. Is thy name William?

WILLIAM. William, sir.

TOUCHSTONE. A fair name. Wast born i' th' forest here?

WILLIAM. Ay, sir, I thank God.

TOUCHSTONE. 'Thank God.' A good answer.

Art rich?

WILLIAM. Faith, sir, so so.

TOUCHSTONE. 'So so' is good, very good, very excellent good;

and

yet it is not; it is but so so. Art thou wise?

WILLIAM. Ay, sir, I have a pretty wit.

TOUCHSTONE. Why, thou say'st well. I do now remember a saying:

'The

fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to

a fool.' The heathen philosopher, when he had a desire to eat

grape, would open his lips when he put it into his mouth;

meaning

thereby that grapes were made to eat and lips to open. You do

love this maid?

WILLIAM. I do, sir.

TOUCHSTONE. Give me your hand. Art thou learned?

WILLIAM. No, sir.

TOUCHSTONE. Then learn this of me: to have is to have; for it

is a

figure in rhetoric that drink, being pour'd out of cup into a

glass, by filling the one doth empty the other; for all your

writers do consent that ipse is he; now, you are not ipse,

for I

am he.

WILLIAM. Which he, sir?

TOUCHSTONE. He, sir, that must marry this woman. Therefore, you

clown, abandon- which is in the vulgar leave- the society-

which

in the boorish is company- of this female- which in the

common is

woman- which together is: abandon the society of this female;

or,

clown, thou perishest; or, to thy better understanding,

diest;

or, to wit, I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life

into

death, thy liberty into bondage. I will deal in poison with

thee,

or in bastinado, or in steel; I will bandy with thee in

faction;

will o'er-run thee with policy; I will kill thee a hundred

and

fifty ways; therefore tremble and depart.

AUDREY. Do, good William.

WILLIAM. God rest you merry, sir. Exit

Enter CORIN

CORIN. Our master and mistress seeks you; come away, away.

TOUCHSTONE. Trip, Audrey, trip, Audrey. I attend, I attend.

Exeunt

SCENE II.

The forest

Enter ORLANDO and OLIVER

ORLANDO. Is't possible that on so little acquaintance you

should

like her? that but seeing you should love her? and loving

woo?

and, wooing, she should grant? and will you persever to enjoy

her?

OLIVER. Neither call the giddiness of it in question, the

poverty

of her, the small acquaintance, my sudden wooing, nor her

sudden

consenting; but say with me, I love Aliena; say with her that

she

loves me; consent with both that we may enjoy each other. It

shall be to your good; for my father's house and all the

revenue

that was old Sir Rowland's will I estate upon you, and here

live

and die a shepherd.

ORLANDO. You have my consent. Let your wedding be to-morrow.

Thither will I invite the Duke and all's contented followers.

you and prepare Aliena; for, look you, here comes my

Rosalind.

Enter ROSALIND

ROSALIND. God save you, brother.

OLIVER. And you, fair sister. Exit

ROSALIND. O, my dear Orlando, how it grieves me to see thee

wear

thy heart in a scarf!

ORLANDO. It is my arm.

ROSALIND. I thought thy heart had been wounded with the claws

of a

lion.

ORLANDO. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a lady.

ROSALIND. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeited to

swoon

when he show'd me your handkercher?

ORLANDO. Ay, and greater wonders than that.

ROSALIND. O, I know where you are. Nay, 'tis true. There was

never

any thing so sudden but the fight of two rams and Caesar's

thrasonical brag of 'I came, saw, and overcame.' For your

brother

and my sister no sooner met but they look'd; no sooner look'd

but

they lov'd; no sooner lov'd but they sigh'd; no sooner sigh'd

but

they ask'd one another the reason; no sooner knew the reason

but

they sought the remedy- and in these degrees have they made

pair

of stairs to marriage, which they will climb incontinent, or

else

be incontinent before marriage. They are in the very wrath of

love, and they will together. Clubs cannot part them.

ORLANDO. They shall be married to-morrow; and I will bid the

Duke

to the nuptial. But, O, how bitter a thing it is to look into

happiness through another man's eyes! By so much the more

shall I

to-morrow be at the height of heart-heaviness, by how much I

shall think my brother happy in having what he wishes for.

ROSALIND. Why, then, to-morrow I cannot serve your turn for

Rosalind?

ORLANDO. I can live no longer by thinking.

ROSALIND. I will weary you, then, no longer with idle talking.

Know

of me then- for now I speak to some purpose- that I know you

are

a gentleman of good conceit. I speak not this that you should

bear a good opinion of my knowledge, insomuch I say I know

you

are; neither do I labour for a greater esteem than may in

some

little measure draw a belief from you, to do yourself good,

and

not to grace me. Believe then, if you please, that I can do

strange things. I have, since I was three year old, convers'd

with a magician, most profound in his art and yet not

damnable.

If you do love Rosalind so near the heart as your gesture

cries

it out, when your brother marries Aliena shall you marry her.

know into what straits of fortune she is driven; and it is

not

impossible to me, if it appear not inconvenient to you, to

set

her before your eyes to-morrow, human as she is, and without

any

danger.

ORLANDO. Speak'st thou in sober meanings?

ROSALIND. By my life, I do; which I tender dearly, though I say

am a magician. Therefore put you in your best array, bid your

friends; for if you will be married to-morrow, you shall; and

Rosalind, if you will.

Enter SILVIUS and PHEBE

Look, here comes a lover of mine, and a lover of hers.

PHEBE. Youth, you have done me much ungentleness

To show the letter that I writ to you.

ROSALIND. I care not if I have. It is my study

To seem despiteful and ungentle to you.

You are there follow'd by a faithful shepherd;

Look upon him, love him; he worships you.

PHEBE. Good shepherd, tell this youth what 'tis to love.

SILVIUS. It is to be all made of sighs and tears;

And so am I for Phebe.

PHEBE. And I for Ganymede.

ORLANDO. And I for Rosalind.

ROSALIND. And I for no woman.

SILVIUS. It is to be all made of faith and service;

And so am I for Phebe.

PHEBE. And I for Ganymede.

ORLANDO. And I for Rosalind.

ROSALIND. And I for no woman.

SILVIUS. It is to be all made of fantasy,

All made of passion, and all made of wishes;

All adoration, duty, and observance,

All humbleness, all patience, and impatience,

All purity, all trial, all obedience;

And so am I for Phebe.

PHEBE. And so am I for Ganymede.

ORLANDO. And so am I for Rosalind.

ROSALIND. And so am I for no woman.

PHEBE. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

SILVIUS. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

ORLANDO. If this be so, why blame you me to love you?

ROSALIND. Why do you speak too, 'Why blame you me to love you?'

ORLANDO. To her that is not here, nor doth not hear.

ROSALIND. Pray you, no more of this; 'tis like the howling of

Irish

wolves against the moon. [To SILVIUS] I will help you if I

can.

[To PHEBE] I would love you if I could.- To-morrow meet me

all

together. [ To PHEBE ] I will marry you if ever I marry

woman,

and I'll be married to-morrow. [To ORLANDO] I will satisfy

you if

ever I satisfied man, and you shall be married to-morrow. [To

Silvius] I will content you if what pleases you contents you,

and

you shall be married to-morrow. [To ORLANDO] As you love

Rosalind, meet. [To SILVIUS] As you love Phebe, meet;- and as

love no woman, I'll meet. So, fare you well; I have left you

commands.

SILVIUS. I'll not fail, if I live.

PHEBE. Nor I.

ORLANDO. Nor I. Exeunt

SCENE III.

The forest

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY

TOUCHSTONE. To-morrow is the joyful day, Audrey; to-morrow

will we

be married.

AUDREY. I do desire it with all my heart; and I hope it is no

dishonest desire to desire to be a woman of the world. Here

come

two of the banish'd Duke's pages.

Enter two PAGES

FIRST PAGE. Well met, honest gentleman.

TOUCHSTONE. By my troth, well met. Come sit, sit, and a song.

SECOND PAGE. We are for you; sit i' th' middle.

FIRST PAGE. Shall we clap into't roundly, without hawking, or

spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the only

prologues

to a bad voice?

SECOND PAGE. I'faith, i'faith; and both in a tune, like two

gipsies

on a horse.

SONG.

It was a lover and his lass,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

That o'er the green corn-field did pass

In the spring time, the only pretty ring time,

When birds do sing, hey ding a ding, ding.

Sweet lovers love the spring.

Between the acres of the rye,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

These pretty country folks would lie,

In the spring time, &c.

This carol they began that hour,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

How that a life was but a flower,

In the spring time, &c.

And therefore take the present time,

With a hey, and a ho, and a hey nonino,

For love is crowned with the prime,

In the spring time, &c.

TOUCHSTONE. Truly, young gentlemen, though there was no great

matter in the ditty, yet the note was very untuneable.

FIRST PAGE. You are deceiv'd, sir; we kept time, we lost not

our

time.

TOUCHSTONE. By my troth, yes; I count it but time lost to hear

such

a foolish song. God buy you; and God mend your voices. Come,

Audrey. Exeunt

SCENE IV.

The forest

Enter DUKE SENIOR, AMIENS, JAQUES, ORLANDO, OLIVER, and CELIA

DUKE SENIOR. Dost thou believe, Orlando, that the boy

Can do all this that he hath promised?

ORLANDO. I sometimes do believe and sometimes do not:

As those that fear they hope, and know they fear.

Enter ROSALIND, SILVIUS, and PHEBE

ROSALIND. Patience once more, whiles our compact is urg'd:

You say, if I bring in your Rosalind,

You will bestow her on Orlando here?

DUKE SENIOR. That would I, had I kingdoms to give with her.

ROSALIND. And you say you will have her when I bring her?

ORLANDO. That would I, were I of all kingdoms king.

ROSALIND. You say you'll marry me, if I be willing?

PHEBE. That will I, should I die the hour after.

ROSALIND. But if you do refuse to marry me,

You'll give yourself to this most faithful shepherd?

PHEBE. So is the bargain.

ROSALIND. You say that you'll have Phebe, if she will?

SILVIUS. Though to have her and death were both one thing.

ROSALIND. I have promis'd to make all this matter even.

Keep you your word, O Duke, to give your daughter;

You yours, Orlando, to receive his daughter;

Keep your word, Phebe, that you'll marry me,

Or else, refusing me, to wed this shepherd;

Keep your word, Silvius, that you'll marry her

If she refuse me; and from hence I go,

To make these doubts all even.

Exeunt ROSALIND and CELIA

DUKE SENIOR. I do remember in this shepherd boy

Some lively touches of my daughter's favour.

ORLANDO. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him

Methought he was a brother to your daughter.

But, my good lord, this boy is forest-born,

And hath been tutor'd in the rudiments

Of many desperate studies by his uncle,

Whom he reports to be a great magician,

Obscured in the circle of this forest.

Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY

JAQUES. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples

are

coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of very strange beasts

which

in all tongues are call'd fools.

TOUCHSTONE. Salutation and greeting to you all!

JAQUES. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the

motley-minded

gentleman that I have so often met in the forest. He hath

been a

courtier, he swears.

TOUCHSTONE. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my

purgation.

I have trod a measure; I have flatt'red a lady; I have been

politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone

three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have

fought

one.

JAQUES. And how was that ta'en up?

TOUCHSTONE. Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the

seventh cause.

JAQUES. How seventh cause? Good my lord, like this fellow.

DUKE SENIOR. I like him very well.

TOUCHSTONE. God 'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I

press in

here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to

swear

and to forswear, according as marriage binds and blood

breaks. A

poor virgin, sir, an ill-favour'd thing, sir, but mine own; a

poor humour of mine, sir, to take that that man else will.

Rich

honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house; as your

pearl

in your foul oyster.

DUKE SENIOR. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.

TOUCHSTONE. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet

diseases.

JAQUES. But, for the seventh cause: how did you find the

quarrel on

the seventh cause?

TOUCHSTONE. Upon a lie seven times removed- bear your body more

seeming, Audrey- as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a

certain

courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was

not

cut well, he was in the mind it was. This is call'd the

Retort

Courteous. If I sent him word again it was not well cut, he

would

send me word he cut it to please himself. This is call'd the

Quip

Modest. If again it was not well cut, he disabled my

judgment.

This is call'd the Reply Churlish. If again it was not well

cut,

he would answer I spake not true. This is call'd the Reproof

Valiant. If again it was not well cut, he would say I lie.

This

is call'd the Countercheck Quarrelsome. And so to the Lie

Circumstantial and the Lie Direct.

JAQUES. And how oft did you say his beard was not well cut?

TOUCHSTONE. I durst go no further than the Lie Circumstantial,

nor

he durst not give me the Lie Direct; and so we measur'd

swords

and parted.

JAQUES. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie?

TOUCHSTONE. O, sir, we quarrel in print by the book, as you

have

books for good manners. I will name you the degrees. The

first,

the Retort Courteous; the second, the Quip Modest; the third,

the

Reply Churlish; the fourth, the Reproof Valiant; the fifth,

the

Countercheck Quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with

Circumstance;

the seventh, the Lie Direct. All these you may avoid but the

Lie

Direct; and you may avoid that too with an If. I knew when

seven

justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties

were

met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as: 'If you

said so, then I said so.' And they shook hands, and swore

brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in If.

JAQUES. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord?

He's as good at any thing, and yet a fool.

DUKE SENIOR. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under

the

presentation of that he shoots his wit.

Enter HYMEN, ROSALIND, and CELIA. Still MUSIC

HYMEN. Then is there mirth in heaven,

When earthly things made even

Atone together.

Good Duke, receive thy daughter;

Hymen from heaven brought her,

Yea, brought her hither,

That thou mightst join her hand with his,

Whose heart within his bosom is.

ROSALIND. [To DUKE] To you I give myself, for I am yours.

[To ORLANDO] To you I give myself, for I am yours.

DUKE SENIOR. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter.

ORLANDO. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind.

PHEBE. If sight and shape be true,

Why then, my love adieu!

ROSALIND. I'll have no father, if you be not he;

I'll have no husband, if you be not he;

Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.

HYMEN. Peace, ho! I bar confusion;

'Tis I must make conclusion

Of these most strange events.

Here's eight that must take hands

To join in Hymen's bands,

If truth holds true contents.

You and you no cross shall part;

You and you are heart in heart;

You to his love must accord,

Or have a woman to your lord;

You and you are sure together,

As the winter to foul weather.

Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing,

Feed yourselves with questioning,

That reason wonder may diminish,

How thus we met, and these things finish.

SONG

Wedding is great Juno's crown;

O blessed bond of board and bed!

'Tis Hymen peoples every town;

High wedlock then be honoured.

Honour, high honour, and renown,

To Hymen, god of every town!

DUKE SENIOR. O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me!

Even daughter, welcome in no less degree.

PHEBE. I will not eat my word, now thou art mine;

Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine.

Enter JAQUES de BOYS

JAQUES de BOYS. Let me have audience for a word or two.

I am the second son of old Sir Rowland,

That bring these tidings to this fair assembly.

Duke Frederick, hearing how that every day

Men of great worth resorted to this forest,

Address'd a mighty power; which were on foot,

In his own conduct, purposely to take

His brother here, and put him to the sword;

And to the skirts of this wild wood he came,

Where, meeting with an old religious man,

After some question with him, was converted

Both from his enterprise and from the world;

His crown bequeathing to his banish'd brother,

And all their lands restor'd to them again

That were with him exil'd. This to be true

I do engage my life.

DUKE SENIOR. Welcome, young man.

Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding:

To one, his lands withheld; and to the other,

A land itself at large, a potent dukedom.

First, in this forest let us do those ends

That here were well begun and well begot;

And after, every of this happy number,

That have endur'd shrewd days and nights with us,

Shall share the good of our returned fortune,

According to the measure of their states.

Meantime, forget this new-fall'n dignity,

And fall into our rustic revelry.

Play, music; and you brides and bridegrooms all,

With measure heap'd in joy, to th' measures fall.

JAQUES. Sir, by your patience. If I heard you rightly,

The Duke hath put on a religious life,

And thrown into neglect the pompous court.

JAQUES DE BOYS. He hath.

JAQUES. To him will I. Out of these convertites

There is much matter to be heard and learn'd.

[To DUKE] You to your former honour I bequeath;

Your patience and your virtue well deserves it.

[To ORLANDO] You to a love that your true faith doth merit;

[To OLIVER] You to your land, and love, and great allies

[To SILVIUS] You to a long and well-deserved bed;

[To TOUCHSTONE] And you to wrangling; for thy loving voyage

Is but for two months victuall'd.- So to your pleasures;

I am for other than for dancing measures.

DUKE SENIOR. Stay, Jaques, stay.

JAQUES. To see no pastime I. What you would have

I'll stay to know at your abandon'd cave. Exit

DUKE SENIOR. Proceed, proceed. We will begin these rites,

As we do trust they'll end, in true delights. [A dance]

Exeunt

EPILOGUE

EPILOGUE.

ROSALIND. It is not the fashion to see the lady the epilogue;

but

it is no more unhandsome than to see the lord the prologue.

If it

be true that good wine needs no bush, 'tis true that a good

play

needs no epilogue. Yet to good wine they do use good bushes;

and

good plays prove the better by the help of good epilogues.

What a

case am I in then, that am neither a good epilogue, nor

cannot

insinuate with you in the behalf of a good play! I am not

furnish'd like a beggar; therefore to beg will not become me.

way is to conjure you; and I'll begin with the women. I

charge

you, O women, for the love you bear to men, to like as much

this play as please you; and I charge you, O men, for the

love

you bear to women- as I perceive by your simp'ring none of

you

hates them- that between you and the women the play may

please.

If I were a woman, I would kiss as many of you as had beards

that

pleas'd me, complexions that lik'd me, and breaths that I

defied

not; and, I am sure, as many as have good beards, or good

faces,

or sweet breaths, will, for my kind offer, when I make

curtsy,

bid me farewell.

THE END

<<THIS ELECTRONIC VERSION OF THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM

PROVIDED BY PROJECT GUTENBERG ETEXT OF CARNEGIE MELLON UNIVERSITY

WITH PERMISSION. ELECTRONIC AND MACHINE READABLE COPIES MAY BE

DISTRIBUTED SO LONG AS SUCH COPIES (1) ARE FOR YOUR OR OTHERS

PERSONAL USE ONLY, AND (2) ARE NOT DISTRIBUTED OR USED

COMMERCIALLY. PROHIBITED COMMERCIAL DISTRIBUTION INCLUDES BY ANY

SERVICE THAT CHARGES FOR DOWNLOAD TIME OR FOR MEMBERSHIP.>>

End of this Etext of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, As You Like It

*** x-header ***