Funeral services bring the pastor into most tender and influential
relations to the families of his congregation, but they are also among
the most perplexing and difficult parts of his work. Warm sympathy must
here be combined with wise discretion, or he may destroy at the funeral
the effect of his most faithful teaching in the pulpit. Here I suggest:
1. Ordinarily, it is better to avoid a formal sermon at funerals. It
unnecessarily protracts the service, often to the serious discomfort of
the people, while it overtasks the minister both in the preparation
required and in the performance of the duty. In case of the death of
some person occupying public station or official position in the church
a sermon may be proper, but even then, it is usually better to deliver
it on the following Sunday in the church. Sometimes also, in districts
remote from the place of worship, where the people seldom hear
preaching, there may be an advantage in a full sermon. But commonly a
service at the house, brief, simple, tender, will secure the best
results. This usually consists of the reading of a selection of
Scriptures, an address, and a prayer. Singing is added, if desired by
the bereaved family and singers are available.
2. Eulogies of the dead should be very sparingly indulged and should in
no case be made a prominent feature. For much eulogy, even of
confessedly good qualities in the deceased, will almost always provoke
remembrance of any opposite qualities he may have had, and will thus
fail of its object. Besides, if eulogy forms a marked feature in a
minister's funeral addresses, the omission of it, when ministering at
the funeral of one whom he cannot conscientiously eulogize, will be
embarrassing to him, and will often give offense to the friends. An
analysis of the character of the deceased at such a time is a very
delicate and difficult task, and it should not be undertaken except in
those comparatively rare cases where the character has been so
conspicuous for its high qualities that the moral judgment of the
community instinctively recognizes it as a fitting model. Great care
should be exercised, also, in regard to expressing, in the address or
prayer, an opinion as to the spiritual character and destiny of the
deceased. A minister, in the fervid sympathy evoked by the occasion, is
sometimes betrayed into forms of expression such as only Omniscience
may rightfully use. It is, indeed, his right, at the interment of one
whose Christian character has been well attested, to assume that God's
promises have been fulfilled, and to speak gratefully and joyfully of
the blessedness of the pious dead; but in so doing he should speak
rather with the confidence of hope than with the assumption of an
absolute knowledge of the secrets of the heart.
3. The subject-matter of the address will often be suggested by the
special circumstances connected with the deceased or the occasion.
Apart from these, many general lines of thought will suggest themselves
to the thoughtful pastor. Of these the following may serve as hints:
The fulness of power in the Gospel to prepare for death, in its
renewing, justifying, and sanctifying grace; The blessedness of the
Christian beyond death, as admitted into the immediate presence of
Christ and into the purity and associations of that holy place where He
dwelleth; The glorious resurrection of the dead as the completing act
of redeeming power and the ultimate goal of the Christian course; The
certainty of the Christian's hope, as based on the promises of an
unchanging God, contrasted with the uncertainty of all earthly
expectations. Or special phases of truth and sources of consolation may
be presented in the informal development of some passage of Scripture.
Thus: The sympathy of Christ with the sorrowing, as seen at the grave
of Lazarus and on other occasions; The certainty that affliction is not
accidental but is ordered in the infinite love and wisdom of God; The
compassion and tenderness of God, as seen in that He doth not afflict
willingly; The high and blessed results He intends in affliction; The
brevity of earthly sorrow and the eternity of heavenly joy. Subjects
adapted to such occasions will continually suggest themselves to a
pastor who is in living, personal sympathy with his congregation; and
it is wise to note them down as they occur and carefully preserve them.
At the funeral of an unconverted person the selection of a subject is
sometimes difficult; for here the minister, while he must needs be a
"son of consolation" to the bereaved, is also under obligation to be
faithful to the Gospel and to the souls of men. He may not suggest,
even by implication, a hope respecting the deceased which neither his
sober judgment nor the truths he preaches allow him to feel; nor may he
pursue a line of remark adapted to weaken a conviction of the solemn
truth that a personal acceptance of Christ and a humble following of
Him in this life are absolutely essential to salvation; for in so doing
he would be inconsistent and untruthful. It is equally evident, also,
that in such a service, where he stands as a minister of consolation,
it is not his duty to aggravate the sorrow of the bereaved by specially
emphasizing the fearful doom of the unbeliever. Perhaps the general
course of thought for such occasions would be found in topics which
relate to the brevity and uncertainty of life; the way of salvation in
the Gospel; the rectitude and tenderness of God's providence; the
refuge for the afflicted in the sympathy and salvation of
Christ--topics which, while necessitating no allusion to the spiritual
character and state of the deceased, yet afford ample scope for
presenting the nature and urgencies of the Gospel and the true sources
of consolation for the bereaved. Whatever the topic, the spirit and
manner should be dictated and pervaded by a genuine sympathy for the
sorrowing, and a hearty appreciation of whatever was excellent in the
character and life of the deceased. Though not a Christian, he may have
been a valuable citizen, a just and generous man, a true and unselfish
friend, a good husband and father. If any personal remarks are made,
such characteristics may properly be recognized on such an occasion as
honoring his memory and rendering his death a loss to the world.
4. The service at the grave should ordinarily be brief, as the people
are standing, and the circumstances of the place render an extended
service undesirable. Some pastors use here some one of the printed
manuals of burial services, others read from Scripture, or repeat from
memory, a selection of passages relating to death, the grave, and the
resurrection, and others make a brief address. Whatever the method
adopted, the service should be carefully prepared, and should vary in
its form, in order to secure in this, as in all services, variety and
adaptation to the occasion. The service is closed by the apostolic
benediction, prefaced sometimes by a few words of prayer.
5. It is desirable to visit the family in which death has occurred
before the funeral services, both to express your sympathy in the
affliction and to learn any facts respecting the deceased and the
arrangements for the funeral that may be necessary for you to know. The
pastor should here have the character of an adviser and friend. In all
arrangements for the funeral it is better, in general, to conform to
the customs of the community; but so far as he may use influence in
regard to these, it should be in favor of inexpensive simplicity and
against ostentatious display. Costliness and display at funerals
constitute in many communities an evil of such serious proportions and
consequences that the ministry should decidedly set their face against
it; for, established as an inexorable custom, it often augments and
perpetuates the sorrow of a death in the family by creating debt and
pecuniary embarrassment which remain for years to come. It is also
important to visit the family soon after the funeral to administer
further consolation, and to follow up any good impressions which
affliction has made. This is often one of the pastor's best
opportunities, as the heart is then tender and susceptible to religious
influences. It is in these dark hours of adversity that the Gospel is
felt in its saving, consoling, helping power in the soul, and the
pastor here should work with Providence, carefully improving the
opportunity.
+SECTION XII.+