_MISCELLANEOUS DIRECTIONS._
OPENING THE DOOR TO VISITORS.
In opening the door to a double knock, or ring of the visitors’ bell,
be very careful that you are neat. If an only servant, you should ask
your mistress to let you have a little looking-glass in the kitchen,
that you may glance at your face and hair before going to open the
door. It takes but a minute to smooth down a few stray hairs, or wipe
off an accidental smut, and it makes a great difference in the notion
given to a stranger, of the house, to see a servant without these
disfigurements. It is well to have a white apron always at hand, which
you may tie on as you are going up stairs, so that very little time
need be occupied in these preparations; but should they make such delay
as to oblige the visitor to knock twice, even that will be better than
going up untidy. With good habits, a servant will always, if not
dressed, be clean, after the time at which visitors are likely to come;
but should it happen, through any irregularity, that your hands are
dirty with black lead, whitening, or any conspicuous dirt, you must
even stay to wash them, before opening to a visitor; it must of course
be done as quickly as possible, and if gloves are worn, as they should
be for all dry dirty work, this necessity is the less likely to arise.
Remember that the door should be opened as quickly as possible, and
nothing but the necessity of making yourself neat should cause you to
delay.
When you open the door you should not speak, for the visitor will do
so. Should the person be ever so well dressed, and yet ask only for
“your mistress,” or “the lady of the house,” do not ask such a one
into a room where there is anything valuable. The hall, if there is no
common room at hand, is the best place for those who do not ask for
your master or mistress by name. Well-dressed impostors are constantly
calling at houses, with the design of pilfering while left alone in the
drawing-room; and any friend of your mistress is sure to ask for her by
name--“Is Mrs. So-and-so at home?” To any one asking thus, you will
say, “Yes, ma’am,” or “Sir, will you walk in?” The visitor may perhaps
say, “No,” and only leave a card or message, and go away. In this case,
keep the door open a little while; it is rude to shut it immediately.
If the visitor comes in, you should then ask, “What name shall I say,
sir?” or “ma’am?” and having carefully listened to the name, walk
before to the room into which you have been directed to show visitors;
should the room be empty, throw open the door, and let the visitor pass
you into the room; then shut the door, and go up to tell your mistress
who is come. If there are persons in the room to which you take the
visitor, you should open the door wide, go just inside, and say the
visitor’s name, then stand on one side, let the visitor pass in, and
shut the door as before.
Here I must particularly warn you against a common fault of
inexperienced servants. All young girls who announce visitors for the
first time, are apt to say more than the name. Mary, the first time
she opened the door to two gentlemen, came smiling into the room, as
if she had a great treat in store for me, and said, in an excited
voice, “If you please, ma’am, there are two friends come to see you!”
Other servants have said, “If you please, ma’am, Mrs. Thornton wants
to speak to you” “If you please, ma’am, here is Mr. and Miss Smith
come.” Nothing of the sort is needed. There is one way of announcing
visitors in every house; it is by simply opening the door, standing on
one side and saying the name or names--no “if you please,” and even
no “ma’am,” or “sir,” is to be used on this occasion--say only “Mrs.
Thornton,”--“Mr. and Miss Smith,” and then stand back. If the visitor
is just behind you, stand on one side, +INSIDE+ the drawing-room door;
but if there is plenty of time, without pushing the visitor, when you
have said the name, go +OUTSIDE+ the door and stand aside while waiting
to shut it.
You will then go again to your work, taking care, however, not to soil
your hands till the visitor is gone. The bell may ring for you to take
up wine and cake, or for some other purpose; but it is sure to ring at
last, for you to open the door. If, on going up, you find the visitor
leaving, you will know it was for that you were called, and will walk
at once to the door, hold it open till the visitor passes out, and then
shut it, as I said before, slowly.
ANNOUNCING EVENING VISITORS.
When visitors are expected to dinner or tea, it will be a little
different. On opening the door, nothing will be said; for as they
were invited, the visitors will, of course, know that your mistress
is at home. Should it be a gentleman, you will help him to take off
and hang up his coat and hat, and then ask his name: “What name, sir?”
As new names are sometimes very difficult to catch, it is a good plan
to repeat the name, that you may be sure you have heard it. I make a
practice of telling the servant beforehand what names she will have to
announce; and perhaps your mistress will not object to doing this, if
you ask her; at any rate, to telling any names that may be difficult
and quite new to you.
When you know the name--we will suppose it is “Mr. Elliott”--walk
before the gentleman to the drawing-room, throw open the door, and
stand against it, just inside the room, allowing the gentleman to pass
in, while you say, in a clear and rather loud voice, “Mr. Elliott.” You
need not now say “sir” or “ma’am,” because you are not speaking to your
master or mistress, but merely calling the name out for all the room
to hear.
We will now suppose the visitor to be a lady. You will then, on
opening the door, ask, “Will you walk up stairs, ma’am?” If the lady
says “No,” you will assist her with her shawl or cloak, and announce
her exactly as you did the gentleman. Should she say, “Yes,” you will
carry a candle before her to the bedroom, and go in with her to offer
assistance in any toilet arrangements she may have to make. Should she
decline your help, it is best to leave the room, and wait outside, or
at the foot of the stairs, that you may be ready to take her candle,
show her into the drawing-room, and announce her name, as with the
others.
If you are an only servant, and a bell rings while you are with or
waiting for the lady, you must, of course, go down; but you should
still be on the watch, and take care to be up in time to show the lady
into the drawing-room.
When a gentleman and lady come together, and the lady wishes to arrange
her dress, you will show the gentleman at once to the drawing-room,
and then take the lady up stairs. Sometimes the gentleman will choose
to wait in the hall till the lady comes down; you have only then to
remember not to leave him in the dark. Both, in this case, will be
announced together. There will be no difficulty about which name to say
first, as you will say them in whatever order they are told you; as,
“Mr. and Mrs. Layton,” or “Mrs. Layton and Mr. John Layton.”
MEETING IN THE STREET.
If you meet any of your master’s family in the street, you need do
nothing, unless you meet their eye; you should then make a slight bow
or curtsey, and incline your head. Never smile and nod, except to a
child. Should you meet any friend of the family, do nothing, unless you
are noticed first; then curtsey, &c., as before.
Should you meet any of the family in a church, or public place of any
kind, always stand back, and make way for them to pass before you.
SINGING.
Nursemaids are often encouraged to sing in the nursery; but they should
leave off immediately on the entrance of a lady or gentleman, and never
sing in bedrooms or kitchens, or where their voices can be heard by
the family. Nor should any servant sing at her work, unless in some
place quite out of the hearing, either of the family or neighbours.
THE USE OF THE TRAY.
Never take a small thing into the room in your hand. Letters,
money, small parcels, a glass, spoon, knife, reel of cotton, folded
pocket-handkerchief, or any small thing, should be handed on a little
tray, silver or not, kept for the purpose. A large parcel, a book so
large as to look awkward on the letter-tray, a plate, and all larger
things, may be given in the hand. Things handed on a tray should be
left for the lady or gentleman to take up, and never lifted from the
tray by the servant and given in the hand. Sometimes, when the lady or
gentleman does not offer to take it, the servant may take it up _and
put it down on the table beside the person_; but never give it with
the hand, or the tray might as well not have been used. Sometimes, in
fetching a bunch of keys from another part of the room, or picking up
a small thing dropped, a tray may not be at hand, on which to give it;
in such a case, do not offer to give it into the lady or gentleman’s
hands, but lay it down at the side of the person to whom you are giving
it.
THE USE OF TRAY-CLOTHS.
Some young servants are puzzled, when taking up food on a tray, to know
when a tray-cloth should be used. I think I can give you a simple and
sufficient rule. Put a tray-cloth on the tray whenever a cloth would be
put on the table to a larger meal of the same food.
You are to take up a mutton-chop with a cloth, because any meal of meat
would be laid on a tablecloth. For a cup of tea or coffee, with or
without bread and butter, if before dinner, put a cloth, because it may
be regarded as a kind of breakfast, and a cloth is spread at breakfast;
for the same after dinner, put no cloth, because it may be regarded as
tea, and no cloth is spread at tea. Broth, gruel, and the like, should
have a cloth; wine, spirits, beer, &c., unless bread and butter _not
cut_ are with them, should have no cloth. When you are in doubt, put a
cloth; for it is far better to put one unnecessarily, than to take a
tray without one when it ought to be there.
TAPPING AT THE DOOR.
If you think for a few minutes +WHY+ we ever tap at a door before
entering, you will be able to judge, almost without my telling you,
when it is proper to do so. We tap to avoid entering suddenly upon a
person who may be engaged in some way that may make our sudden entrance
awkward.
It seems hardly credible that a young woman should be so thoughtless
as to enter a bedroom in which any one is without tapping; but I have
frequently known this to be done. Be sure you never make this mistake;
the result may be as awkward to you as to the person inside. Even if
the bell is rung, and you are thus expected to go up, yet you are not
expected to enter. In answer to a bedroom-bell, you should always tap,
and wait outside for the order. If you are told to take up water or
anything else, tap again, and say, “The water, sir,” or “ma’am.” You
will then be told, “Put it down,” or “Bring it in,” or perhaps the
person inside may come and take it from you.
As a sitting-room may be regarded as public, there is no need to knock.
Most young servants begin by knocking at every door; this is very
tiresome, and quite without use.
Some ladies like the servants to tap at every door, if they go in
without being called or rung for; and where this is the custom of the
house, you will, of course, do so; but even then it is superfluous to
knock in answering a bell or call, as your entrance is expected.
When you tap, do it with your knuckles; for the tap should be loud
enough to be heard, without sounding rough and boisterous.
There are some cases, as in a long illness, where a bedroom becomes
almost as public as a sitting-room. Here you should use your judgment
about tapping. When three or four people are inside, you may be sure
you may enter at once; if the invalid is alone, or with one nurse or
friend, it is safer to tap. You had better tap twenty times too often
than once too seldom.
THE GARDEN.
I have seen servants make the mistake of going to walk or sit in the
garden, as if it were a part of the house belonging to them, as the
kitchen and servants’ bedrooms. I suppose the mistake has arisen from
the nurse’s being often sent out to play with or watch the children in
the garden. All servants, nurses or not, should look upon the garden as
belonging to the ladies and gentlemen, as much as the upper rooms; and
should no more think of sitting or walking unbidden in the one than in
the other. When a nurse is sent to be with the children in the garden,
the cook or housemaid should no more think of joining them there, than
she would if they were in the nursery. Nor should any servant run,
laugh, call out, or make a noise in the garden at any time; though when
all the family are out, few people would object to a servant’s taking a
quiet walk up and down, as the garden may be regarded in the same light
as the hall and staircase, which are thoroughfares, and less private
than rooms.