In Ephesus stands a temple said to be one of the wonders of the world,
the Temple of Diana; pilgrims come to it from all countries, and buy
statues of the goddess to set upon their tables (little silver statues),
and as the making of these is the principal industry in that city, the
silversmiths raised cries against me in the theatre, where once I stood
up to address the people. Great is Diana, goddess of the Ephesians! they
cried out, and would have thrown me to the beasts. Yea, I fought with
the beasts, for they were nothing else, and had not Aquila and Priscilla
risked their lives to save me I should have perished that day. That day
or another day; it matters not; we all perish sooner or later. My life
has never been my concern, but God's, a thing upheld by God for so many
years that I shun danger no longer. It has even come to pass that I am
lonely in security, withdrawn from God in houses, and safe in his arms
when clinging to a spar in the dark sea. God and our Lord Jesus Christ,
his beloved son, have walked on either side of me in mountain passes
where robbers lie in wait. We are nearer to God in hunger and thirst
than when the mouth is full. In fatigue rather than in rest, and to know
oneself to be God's servant is good cheer for the traveller, better than
the lights of the inn showing over the horizon, for false brethren may
await him in the inn, some that will hale him before rulers, but if he
knows that he is God's servant he will be secure in his own heart, where
alone security matters.
It may have been my sin to weary too often at the length of the journey,
and to cry out to the Lord Jesus to make an end of it. It may have been
that I was often too eager to meet my death and to receive the reward of
all my labour, but who shall judge me? Our Lord Jesus Christ is the only
judge and his reign shall endure over this world till the last man has
vanished into death. And when the last man has perished? Mathias asked.
Paul answered: Jesus shall pass into his Father's keeping and again
there shall be but one God. But, Paul, Mathias rejoined, if I understand
thee rightly, there are now two Gods, and our hope is that in time to
come the twain may turn to one. Paul was about to answer, but his lips
were parched, and he raised the cup of water to his lips, and when he
had drunk he was about to answer Mathias, but Hazael said: Mathias, we
are all eager to hear the story of Paul's own life. There will be time
afterwards to discuss his doctrine. Mathias waved his hand, a sign that
Paul might continue his story, which he did.
From Ephesus we returned to Corinth and to Macedonia, and dreams began
to take hold on us of longer journeys than any we had yet undertaken; we
dreamed of Rome, and then of Spain, for all should hear the joyful
tidings that there is salvation for all, and we live in dread that the
judgment may come upon the world before the distant countries have heard
that the Christ has been born and has died and been raised by his Father
from the dead, thereby abolishing the law, which was no longer needed,
faith in Christ being sufficient. But if the judgment comes before all
men have heard of the Christ, then is God unjust. God forbid: our sloth
and tardy feet are responsible. Our fear is for the Jews that have
closed their ears to the truth, and, therefore, we were warned not to
leave Palestine without a last effort to save them. Once more my soul
said unto me: Paul, go to Jerusalem, for the last time enter the Temple
and comply with all the law, for these things matter not whether they be
done or left undone; all that matters is that Jerusalem should accept
Jesus. Be all things, once more, to all men. And it was after this
command, given to me in the silence of the night, that I took leave of
the brethren at Ephesus, saying to them: brethren, you knew from the
first day that I came unto Asia what manner of man had come among you,
directing you only towards repentance towards God, and faith in our Lord
Jesus Christ. I would indeed remember all I said on that occasion, for I
spoke well, the Holy Ghost being upon me, putting the very words of the
leave-taking into my mouth that I should speak, words which I cannot
find again, but which were written by me afterwards, as I wished them to
be preserved for the use of the faithful. They shall be sent to you. But
in this moment I'm too tired to remember them, and will continue my
story, telling how when the sails of the ship were lifted we came with a
straight course unto Coos, and the day following unto Rhodes, and thence
Patara, and finding a ship about to start for Phoenicia, we went aboard
and set forth again. We left Cyprus on the left, and were landed at
Tyre, where there were many disciples who said to me that I must not go
to Jerusalem. We kneeled on the shore and prayed; and when we had taken
leave of one another, and I had said: my face you shall see no more, we
took ship, and they returned home.
Next day we were at Cæsarea and went to the house of Philip the Apostle
(him of many daughters, and all prophetesses), and lived with him,
tarrying till there came from Judea Agabus, who, when he saw me, took my
girdle and bound his own hands and feet, and said: so at Jerusalem shall
the Jews bind him that owns this girdle, and they shall deliver him into
the hands of the Gentiles. At which all my disciples there wept, and I
said: why do ye weep? for your weeping breaks my heart. Think not of
what this man has said, even if he has spoken the truth, for I am ready
to die for the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. I comforted them and went
up to Jerusalem, and was received by the brethren. James and all the
elders were present, and after having heard from me how widely the name
of our Lord Jesus Christ had been made known to the Gentiles and to the
Jews that lived among the Gentiles, they answered: brother, there are a
great many believers among the Jews, and all here are ardent followers
of the law, and these have heard that thou teachest to the Jews in exile
that Moses may be forsaken, and that they need not circumcise their
children and may set aside our customs. Now, Paul, they asked, what
favour dost thou expect from us if these things be as they have been
reported to us? And being sure within myself that it was not counsel
they sought from me, but words out of my own mouth whereby they might
stir up the people against me, I answered only: upon whose testimony do
ye say these things? There are, they said, four holy men, who are under
a vow; go with them and purify thyself and pay the money they need for
the shaving of their heads and all other expenses. Whereupon I was much
angered, seeing the snare that they were laying for me, but, as I have
told you, my rule is always to be all things to all men, and remembering
that though Jesus Christ our Lord has set us free from the law, it would
be better to forgo this liberty than to scandalise a brother, I said: I
will do, brethren, as you ask, and went with the four poor men to the
Temple and remained there with them for five days, abstaining from wine,
and cutting off--well, there was little hair for me to cut off, but what
there was I cut off.
All went well during the first days, but the emissaries and agents of
James, seeing that my devotion in the Temple might win over the Jews to
me, laid another snare, and I was accused of having held converse with
Trophimus, an uncircumcised Greek, in the street the day of my arrival
in Jerusalem, and this not being a sufficient offence to justify them in
stoning me as they had stoned Stephen before my eyes, it was said that I
had brought him into the Temple, and the agents of the priests came on
the fifth day to drag me out and kill me in some convenient byway, the
sacristans closing the doors of the Temple behind me. We will make an
end of this mischief, the hirelings said, and began to look around for
stones wherewith to spatter out my brains; they cast off their garments
and threw dust into the air, and I should have met my death if the noise
had been any less, but it was even greater than the day Stephen died,
and the Roman guard came upon the people and drew me out of their hands,
saying: what is the meaning of this? The Jews could not tell them so
great was their anger.
We'll take him to the castle, the centurion said, and the crowd
followed, pressing upon us and casting stones at me till the soldiers
had perforce to draw their swords so as to get me to the castle alive.
We were thrown hither and thither, and the violence of the crowd at the
foot of the stairs and the pressure obliged the soldiers to carry me up
the steps in their arms. So I turned to the Chief Captain, who was
trying in vain to calm the rioters, and said to him in Greek: may I
speak to them? So thou canst speak Greek? he answered, surprised, and
gave me leave to speak, and I said: Hebrews, listen to a Hebrew like
yourselves, and I told of the vision on the road to Damascus, to which
they listened, but as soon as the tale was over they cried: remove him
from this world, he is not fit to live. At these words the centurion,
who was anxious to appease the people, signed to his apparitors to seize
me, and before I had time to make myself heard these strapped me to the
whipping-post, my hands above me. But is it lawful to scourge a Roman
and he uncondemned? I said to the centurion next to me. Whereupon the
lictors withdrew and the centurion turned to the Chief Captain, who
looked me up and down, for, as you see, my appearance did not command
respect. Is it true that thou'rt a Roman citizen? he asked, and I
answered, yes, and he was astonished, for he had paid a great deal of
money for the title. But I was born free, I answered him, confusing and
perplexing him and putting a great fear in his heart that belike his
office might be taken from him for having tied a Roman citizen to the
whipping-post, merely that and nothing more.
It was to gain my favour that he promised to summon a council (the
Sanhedrin), and on the day appointed, ordering my chains to be unlocked,
introduced me to the Jews as a free man, saying he would remain to hear
the discussion. Brothers, I have lived till to-day in good conscience
before God. On that the High Priest ordered those that stood by him to
strike me on the face. God shall strike thee, thou whited wall, I
answered him, for thou sittest to judge me according to the law, and
breaking the law thou orderest me to be struck. Those that were present
said: so that is how thou revilest the High Priest. I did not know he
was the High Priest, I answered: if I had I should not have spoken as I
spoke, for is it not written, thou must not insult the chief of thy
people?
As I spoke these words, I saw that the assembly was divided into two
parts, that each part was inspired by different ideas, and that one
part, the Sadducees, were determined upon my death. Therefore my words
were, brothers, I am a Pharisee and the son of a Pharisee, do you know
of what they accuse me? Of saying that the dead will be raised out of
their graves for judgment, a thing which you all believe. So did I
divide my enemies, persuading the Pharisees thereby to defend me, and
they, believing the story I told of my vision on the road to Damascus,
said: let us hear nothing against him, a spirit or angel may have spoken
to him. But the Sadducees were the stronger party, and dividing the
Pharisees with their arms many rushed to kill me, and they would have
done this if the Captain of the Guard had not sent soldiers to my
assistance, who with difficulty rescued me from the Jews and brought me
back to the castle.
I was sorry for the Captain of the Guard, who came to me and said: I
know not how this will end or what to do with thee, and I answered him:
there are knots in every business, and the clever man unties them, and
thou'lt find a way of untying this knot in thy sleep to-night.... And I
likewise, which was true, for a vision came to me that night, Jesus
himself, and he said: thou hast testified of me in Jerusalem and thou
shalt testify of me in Rome, and Jesus having said this much, I knew
that I should go to Rome, how I should go I knew not, but I knew that I
should go and had no fear when my sister's son, my nephew, came to me
next day and said: forty of the Jews have banded together to kill thee,
Uncle, and this is how they will do it. They will present a petition to
the Chief Captain to have thee down among the council again so that they
may question thee regarding some points of the law which they affirm
thou hast transgressed. Thou must not go down to them, Uncle, for they
have knives concealed under their cloaks, and are upon oath neither to
eat nor to drink until they have killed thee.
So they are base enough for this, I answered, but I'll outwit them, and
calling to the centurion said: take this young man to the Chief Captain
of the Guard; he has matter to relate which the Chief Captain should
hear at once, and when he had told the plot Chief Captain Lysias said:
they have sworn in vain. Thou shalt go with me to Cæsarea and under a
strong guard, two hundred soldiers, seventy horsemen, and two hundred
spearmen; these will be able to resist any attack that the Jews may
attempt even should they hear of thy departure. At nine o'clock to-night
I shall put into thy hand a letter to Felix, the Governor, telling him
that I know nothing against thee that merits death or prison. The orders
of the Captain of the Guard were carried out punctually; we marched all
night, arriving at Antipatris in the morning, which is about half-way
between Jerusalem and Cæsarea, and all danger of surprise being now over
the escort divided, the four hundred men returning to Jerusalem, myself
going on to Cæsarea with the horsemen, to be judged by Felix, who said:
I shall sit in judgment as soon as thy accusers arrive from Jerusalem.
And it was five days afterwards that my accusers began to come into
Cæsarea, Ananias arriving first with some of the elders and with one
named Tertullus, who began his speech against me with many coaxings of
the Governor, saying that it was through him that Palestine enjoyed its
great peace and prosperity and for these gifts he was truly thankful,
and though he feared he might prove tedious, still he would hope that
Felix in his great clemency might allow him to say a few further words
about a pestilential fellow, an agent of sedition among the Jews
throughout the world, and a ringleader of the sect known as the
Nazarenes: one who came to Jerusalem but to profane the Temple, and
wishing, he said, to judge him for his blasphemy according to our law,
we laid hands upon him, but the Captain, Lysias, came upon us and with
great violence took him out of our hands, and after hearing him
disputing with us in the council said, I find no fault with him but will
send him to the noble Felix. And you, most noble Felix, have sent for
us, and we have come, and feel right well that we have not come in vain,
for your knowledge and your justice are known in all the world. He said
these things and many more of this sort till he feared that his first
words were coming true and that he was beginning to weary Felix, which
was the truth, for Felix raised his hand for me to speak, whereupon
without cozenage and without preamble I told Felix that I had gone to
Jerusalem with alms collected from all parts of the world for the poor
and also for worship in the Temple. Why then, if I am the pestilential
fellow that Tertullus says I am, is it that the Jews allowed me the
Temple to abide therein for five days and that they have not brought
witnesses to testify that they found me disputing therein or stirring
the people to riot in the synagogue and in the city. And I see none here
to bear witness that I do not believe in all that is written in the law
and in the prophets; only that I believe with a great part of the
citizens of Jerusalem that the dead will be raised from their graves for
judgment at the last day. If I am guilty of heresy so are many others
here. But you Essenes do not hold with the Pharisees, that the
corruptible body is raised from the dead, you believe that the soul only
is immortal; I believe that there is a spiritual body also which is
raised; and Paul turned his searching eyes on Mathias, in whose mind an
answer began to form, but before he had time to speak it the brethren
began to evince a desire that Paul should continue his story.
Felix after hearing me bade the Jews return to Jerusalem. I will deliver
no sentence until I have conferred with Lysias, he said. The Jews
returned discomfited, and Felix said to my jailer, let him be relieved
of his chains and be free to see his friends and disciples and to preach
what he pleases. Nor was this all: Felix came with his wife, Drusilla,
who was a Jewess, and she heard me tell Felix that there would be a
judgment, and he answered: speak to me again of this, and they came to
me many times to hear of the judgment, and to hint at a sum of money
which would be easy for me to collect; my disciples would pay for my
liberty and the money would enable him to risk the anger of the Jews,
who, he said, desired my death most savagely.
But I was of no mind to ask my disciples to pay for my release; and then
Felix, desirous of obtaining the good will of the Jews, put chains upon
me again, and so left me for two years, till Festus was appointed in his
place.
It was three days after Festus had disembarked at Cæsarea that he went
up to Jerusalem, and no sooner had he arrived there than the High Priest
asked for audience and besought him to send for Paul that he might be
judged in Jerusalem; the intention of the High Priest being that I
should be waylaid and killed by a highwayman among the hills. But Festus
thought it was unnecessary to bring me to Jerusalem, for he was about to
return to Cæsarea. Come, he said, with me, and accuse this man, and they
agreed. And it was ten days afterwards that Festus returned to Cæsarea
and commanded me to be brought before his judgment seat. The Jews that
had come with him sat about, and with many voices complained against me
of blasphemy, but their accusations were vain, for I answered: I have
not offended against the law of the Jews nor against Cæsar, and they
answered, so thou sayest, but wilt thou come to Jerusalem to be judged
by us? and Festus, who now only thought to avoid trouble and riot, said
to me, will you go to Jerusalem that I may hear you?
But, Lord Festus, I answered, you can hear me here as well as in
Jerusalem, and these men desire but my death and ask that I shall be
brought to Jerusalem to kill me secretly, therefore I appeal to Cæsar.
Whereupon Festus answered that he had no fault to find with me, but
since I had appealed to Cæsar I must go by the next ship, and as there
would be none for some weeks Festus, who had said to King Agrippa and
Berenice, when they came to pay a visit to the new governor, and, being
Jews, were curious about my gospel, I find no fault with this man and
would have set him at liberty, but he has appealed to Cæsar and by the
next ship he goes to Rome, permitted me my liberty to go whither I
pleased and to preach as I pleased in the city and beyond the city if I
pleased. Whereupon I notified to Festus I would go to Jericho, a two
days' journey from Cæsarea, and he said, go, and in three weeks a ship
will be here to take thee to Rome. But he said: if the Jews should hear
of thee thou'lt lose thy life, and he offered me a guard, which I
refused as useless, knowing well that I should not meet my death at
Jericho. Why cherish a love for them that hate thee? he said, and I
answered: they are my own people, and my heart was filled again with the
memory of the elect race that had given birth to the prophets. Shall
these go down dead into their graves never to rise again, God's chosen
people? I asked myself, and set out with Timothy, my son in the faith,
for Jericho, a city I had never seen nor yet the banks of Jordan down
which Jesus went for John's baptism. But for these things I had little
thought or care, but was as if propelled by some force that I could not
understand nor withstand; and a multitude collected and hearkened to the
story of my conversion on the road to Damascus, but discontent broke out
among them when I said that Jesus had come neither to confirm nor to
abolish the law, that the law was well while we were children but now we
could only enter into eternal life through faith in Jesus Christ our
Lord.
The rest of my story you know: how we fled into the hills for our lives'
sake, and how Timothy in the dark of the evening kept to the left
whereas I came round the shoulder of the hill and was upheld in the path
by God, who has still need of me. His ways are inscrutable, for, wishing
to bring me to you, he sent me to preach in Jordan and urged the Jews to
threaten me and pursue me into the hills, for he wished you holy men who
live upon this ridge of rock in piety, in humility, in content, in peace
one with the other, fearing God always, to hear of Jesus and his
resurrection from the dead and the meaning thereof, which is that Christ
came to redeem us from the bondage of the law and that sense of sin
which the law reveals unceasingly and which terrifies and comes between
us and love of Jesus Christ, who will (at the sound of the last trump)
raise the incorruptible out of the corruptible. Even as the sown grain
is raised out of its rotten grave to nourish and rejoice again at the
light, so will ye nourish again in the fields of heaven, never again to
sink into old age and death if you have faith in Christ, for you have
all else, fear of God, and charity, piety and humility, brotherly love,
peace and content in the work that the day brings to your hands and the
pillow that the night brings to your head for reward for the work done.
God that knows all knew you were waiting on this margin of rock for the
joyful tidings, and he sent me as a shepherd might send his servant out
to call in the flock at the close of day, for in his justice he would
not have it that ten just men should perish. He sent me to you with a
double purpose, methinks, for he may have designed you to come to my
aid, for it would be like him that has had in his heart since all time
my great mission to Italy and Spain, to have conceived this way to
provide me with new feet to carry the joyful tidings to the ends of the
earth; and now I stand amazed, it being clear to me that it was not for
the Jews of Jericho that I was sent out from Cæsarea but for you.
Paul waited for one of the Essenes to answer, and his eyes falling on
Mathias' face he read in it a web of argument preparing wherein to catch
him, and he prayed that God might inspire his answers. At last Mathias,
in clear, silvery voice, broke the silence that had fallen so suddenly,
and all were intent to hear the silken periods with which the Egyptian
thanked Paul for the adventurous story he had related to them, who, he
said, lived on a narrow margin of rock, knowing nothing of the world,
and unknown to it, content to live, as it were, immersed in God. Paul's
narrative was full of interesting things, and he regretted that Paul was
leaving them, for he would have liked to have given longer time to the
examination of the several points, but his story contained one thing of
such great moment that he passed over many points of great interest, and
would ask Paul to tell them why the resurrection of Jesus Christ should
bring with it the abrogation of the law of Moses. If the law was true
once, it was true always, for the law was the mind and spirit and
essence of God. That is, he continued, the law spiritually understood;
for there are those among us Essenes who have gone beyond the letter. I,
too, know something of that spiritual interpretation, Paul cried out,
but I understand it of God's providence in relation to man during a
certain period; that which is truth for the heir is not truth to the
lord. Mathias acquiesced with lofty dignity, and continued his
interrogation in measured phrases: that if he understood Paul rightly,
and he thought he did, his teaching was that the law only served to
create sin, by multiplying the number of possible transgressions. Thy
meaning would seem to be that Jews as well as Gentiles sin by acquiring
consciousness of sin, but by faith in Jesus Christ we get peace with God
and access unto his grace. Upon grace, Paul, we see thee standing as on
a pedestal crying out, sin abounds but grace abounds, fear not sin. The
words of my enemies, Paul cried, interrupting; sin so that grace may
abound, God forbid. Those that are baptized in Christ are dead to sin,
buried with him to rise with him again and to live a new life. The old
man (that which we were before Christ died for us) was crucified with
Christ so that we might serve sin no longer. Freed from the bondage of
the law and concupiscence by grace we are saved through faith in our
Lord Jesus Christ from damnation. It is of this grace that we would hear
thee speak. Do we enter into faith through grace? Mathias asked, and,
having obtained a sign of assent from Paul, he asked if grace were other
than a free gift from God, and he waited again for a sign of assent.
Paul nodded, and reminded him that God had said to Moses, I will have
mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I
will have compassion. Then, Mathias said, the law of Moses is not
abrogated, thou leanest upon it when it suiteth thy purpose to lean, and
pushest it aside when it pleases thee to reprove us as laggards in
tradition and among the beginnings of things. It was lest some mood of
injustice might be imputed to God in neglecting us that we were invited
to become thy disciples, and to carry the joyful tidings into Italy and
Spain. But we no longer find those rudiments in the law. We read it with
the eyes of the mind, and we receive not from thy lips that God is like
a man--a parcel of moods, and obedient to them. It is true that God
justifies whom he glorifies, Paul answered, but for that he is not an
unjust God. If he did not spare his son, but delivered him to death that
we might be saved, will he not give us all things? Who shall accuse
God's elect? He that chose them? Who will condemn them? Christ that will
sit on the right hand of his Father, that intercedes for us? Neither
death nor life nor angels can separate me from the love of our Lord
Jesus Christ, and if I came hither it is for the sake of my brothers, my
kinsmen that might be saved. God has not broken his promise to his
chosen people. A man may be born an Israelite and not be one; we are
true Israelites, not by birth but by election. God calls whom he
pleases, and without injustice. But, brethren, Mathias would ask of me:
why does God yet find a fault though none may resist his will? We dare
not reason with God or ask him to explain his preferences. Does the vase
ask the potter: why hast thou made me thus? Had not the potter power
over the clay to make from the same lump two vases, one for noble and
the other for ignoble use. Not in discourse of reason is the Kingdom of
God, but in its own power to be and to grow, and that power is
manifested in my gospel.
The approval of the brethren whitened Mathias' cheek with anger, and he
answered Paul that his denial of the law did not help him to rise to any
higher conception of the deity than to compare him to a potter, and he
warned Paul that to arrive at any idea of God we must forget potters,
rejecting the idea of a maker setting out from a certain moment of time
to shape things according to a pattern out of pre-existing matter. And I
would tell thee before thou startest for the end of the earth that the
Jesus Christ which has obsessed thee is but the Logos, the principle
that mediates between the supreme God and the world formed out of
matter, which has no being of its own, for being is not in that mere
potency of all things alike, which thou callest Power, but in Divine
Reason.
I have heard men speak like thee in Athens, Paul answered slowly and
sadly, and I said then that the wisdom of man is but foolishness in
God's sight. But thy stay there was not long, and thou hast not spoken
of my country, Egypt, Mathias answered, and rising from his seat he left
the table and passed out on to the balcony like one offended, and,
leaning his arms on the rail, he stood looking into the abyss.
A Jew of Alexandria, Manahem whispered in Paul's ear, but he holds fast
by the law in his own sense, and in telling of this Christ thou---- We
would hear of Peter, Saddoc interrupted, the fisherman thou foundest
eating unclean meat with the Gentiles. Have I not said, Paul answered,
that what is eaten and what is drunk finds neither favour nor disfavour
in God's eyes--that it is not by observance we are saved, but by faith
in our Lord Jesus Christ that died to redeem us from the law, and was
raised from the dead by his Father, and who appeared to the twelve and
to five hundred others, some of whom are dead, but many are still alive?
But this Christ, who was he when he lived upon this earth? Manahem
inquired. Son of the living God, Paul answered, that took on the
beggarly raiment of human flesh at Nazareth, was baptized by John in
Jordan, and preached in Galilee, went up to Jerusalem and was crucified
by Pilate between two thieves; the third day he rose from the dead, that
our sins---- Didst say he was born in Nazareth? Hazael asked, the word
Nazareth having roused him from his reveries, and was baptized by John
in Jordan, preached afterwards in Galilee, and suffered under Pilate?
Was crucified, Paul interjected; then you have heard, he said, of the
resurrection? Not of the resurrection; but we know that our Brother
Jesus was born in Nazareth, was baptized in Jordan by John, preached in
Galilee and suffered under Pilate. Pilate condemned many men, Paul
answered, a cruel man even among the Romans. But born in Nazareth and
was baptized by John didst say? I said it, Hazael answered. Which among
you, Paul asked, looking into every face, is he? Jesus is not here,
Hazael replied, he is out with the flock. He slept by thy side on this
balcony last night. We've listened to thy story with interest, Paul; we
give thee thanks for telling it, and by thy leave we will return to our
daily duties and to our consciences.