It was as Hazael had guessed: the puppies had scampered up the loose
pathway leading to the hills; Jesus had let them through the door, and
had followed them up the hills, saying to himself: they have got the
scent of sheep.
The stubborn, unruly ground lay before him just as he remembered it,
falling into hollows but rising upwards always, with still a little
grass between the stones, but not enough to feed a flock, he remarked,
as he wandered on, watching the sunrise unfolding, and thinking that
Amos should be down by the Jordan, and would be there, he said to
himself, no doubt, were it not for the wild beasts that have their lairs
in the thickets. Whosoever redeems the shepherd from the danger of
lions, he added, as he climbed up the last ascents, will be the great
benefactor. But the wolves perhaps kill more sheep than lions, being
more numerous. It was at this moment that Brother Amos came into sight,
and he walked so deep in meditation that he might have passed Jesus
without seeing him if Jesus had not called aloud.
Why, Jesus, it is thou, as I'm alive, come back to us at last. Well,
we've been expecting thee this long while. And thou hast not come back
too soon, as my poor flock testifies. I'm ashamed of them; but thou'lt
not speak too harshly of my flock to Hazael, who thinks if he complains
enough he'll work me up into a good shepherd despite my natural turn for
an indoor life. But I'd not have thee think that the flock perished
through my fault, and see in them a lazy shepherd lying always at length
on the hillside. I walk with them in search of pasture from daylight
till dark, wearing my feet away, but to no purpose, as any man can see
though he never laid eyes on a sheep before. But it was thou, Brother,
that recommended me for a shepherd, and I can think of naught but my
love of wandering with thee on the hills, and listening to thee prating
of rams and ewes, that put it into my head that I was a shepherd by
nature and thy successor.
Thou wast brought up to the flock from thy boyhood, and a ram's head has
more interest for thee than a verse of Scripture; thy steady, easy gait
was always the finest known on these hills for leading a flock; but my
feet pain me after a dozen miles, and a shepherd with corny feet is like
a bird with a torn wing. Thou understandest the hardship of a shepherd,
and that one isn't a shepherd for willing it; and I rely on thee,
Brother, to take my part and to speak up for me when Hazael puts
questions to thee. So thou wouldst be freed from the care of the flock?
Jesus said. My only wish, he answered. But thou'lt make it clear to
Hazael that it was for lack of a good ram the flock fell away. I gave
thee over a young ram with the flock, one of the finest on these hills,
Jesus said. Thou didst; and he seemed like coming into such a fine
beast, Amos answered, that we hadn't the heart to turn him among the
ewes the first year but bred from the old fellow. An old ram is a waste,
Jesus replied, and he would have said more if Amos had not begun to
relate the death of the fine young beast that Jesus had bred for the
continuance of the flock. We owe the loss of him, he said, to a ewe that
no shepherd would look twice at, one of the ugliest in the flock, she
seemed to me to be and to everybody that laid his eyes on her, and she
ought to have been put out of the flock, but though uninviting to our
eyes she was longed for by another ram, and so ardently that he could
not abide his own ewes and became as a wild sheep on the hills, always
on the prowl about my flock, seeking his favourite, and she casting her
head back at him nothing loath.
It would have been better if I had turned the evil ewe out of the flock,
making him a present of her, but I kept on foiling him; and my own ram,
taking rage against this wild one, challenged him, and one day, seeing
me asleep on the hillside, the wild ram came down and with a great bleat
summoned mine to battle. It seemed to me that heaven was raining
thunderbolts, so loud was the noise of their charging; and looking out
of my dreams I saw the two rams backing away from each other, making
ready for another onset. My ram's skull was the softer, he being a
youngling, it had been already shaken in several charges, and it was
broken in this last one, a terrible one it was, I can still hear them,
they are still at it in my mind--the ewes of both flocks gathered on
different sides, spectators.
But where were thy dogs all this while? Jesus inquired. My dogs! If I'd
had a Thracian he never would have suffered that the sheep killed each
other. A Thracian would have awakened me. My dogs are of the soft Syrian
breed given to growling and no more. The wild ram might have become tame
again, and would doubtless have stayed with me as long as I had the ewe;
but he might have refused to serve any but she. No man can say how it
would have ended if I had not killed him in my anger. So thou wast left,
Jesus remarked, without a serviceable ram. With naught, Amos sighed, but
the old one, and he was that weary of jumping that he began to think
more of his fodder than ewes. Without money one can't get a well-bred
ram, as I often said to Hazael, but he answered me always that he had no
money to give me, and that I must do as well as I could with the ram I
had.... He is gone now, but before he died he ruined my flock.
It is true that the shepherd's labour is wasted without a good ram,
Jesus repeated. Thou speakest but the truth, Amos replied; and knowing
the truth, forget not to speak well of me to Hazael, as a shepherd,
finding reason that will satisfy him for the dwindling of the flock that
henceforth will be in thy charge. Jesus said that he was willing to
resume his charge, but did not know if Hazael and the brethren would
receive him back into the order after his long absence. Amos seemed to
think that of that there could be no doubt. All will be glad to have
thee back ... thou'rt too useful for them to slight thee, he cried back,
and Jesus returned to the cenoby dreaming of some grand strain that
would restore the supremacy of the flock.
As he passed down the gallery Hazael, who was sitting on the balcony,
cried to him; Joseph, he said, waited an hour and has gone; he had
business to transact in Jericho. But, Jesus, what ails thee? It seems
strange, Jesus answered, he should have gone away like this. But have I
not told thee, Jesus, that he will return this evening to wish thee
good-bye. But he may not be able to return this evening, Jesus replied.
That is so, Hazael rejoined. He said that he might have to return to
Jerusalem at once, but he will not fail to ride out to meet thee in a
few days. But he will not find me on the hills, no tryst has been made,
Jesus said, as he turned away; and guessing his intention to be to leave
at once for Jericho, Hazael spoke of Joseph's business in Jericho, and
how displeased he might be to meet Jesus in the middle of his business
and amongst strangers. The Essenes are not well looked upon in
Jerusalem, he said. We do not send fat rams to the Temple. Fat rams,
Jesus repeated. Amos has been telling me that what lacks is a ram, and
the community had not enough money to buy one. That is true, Hazael
said. Rams are hard to get even for a great deal of money. Joseph might
lend us the money, he is rich. He will do that, Jesus answered, and be
glad to do it. But a ram must be found, and if thou'lt give me all the
money thou hast I will go in search of one. Joseph will remit to thee
the money I have taken from thee when he returns. It will be a surprise
for him to find in the flock a great fine ram of the breed that I
remember to have seen on the western hills. I'll start at daybreak. Thou
shalt have our shekels, Hazael said; they are few, but the Lord be with
thee and his luck.