“Look here, Saltmarsh!” says Small, catching Bill by the arm as
he shoved through the crowd. “What's the matter with those
dishes--anything?”
Bill turned and looked at him. “Why, no,” he says, slow. “They're all
right--of their kind.” And off he put again.
But Eddie wa'n't satisfied. He turns to me. “By George!” he says. “What
is it? Does he think they're fakes?”
I didn't know, so I shook my head. Small fidgetted, looked at Peter, and
then run after Saltmarsh. Milo had just raised the bid.
“One hundred and thirty-three” hollers Peter, fetching the tea chest a
belt. “One thirty-four do I hear? Make it one thirty-three fifty. Fifty
cents do I hear? Come, come! this is highway robbery, gentlemen. Mr.
Small--where are you?”
But Eddie was talking to Saltmarsh. In a minute back he comes, looking
more worried than ever. Peter T. bawled and pounded and beckoned at him
with the mallet, but he only fidgetted--didn't know what to do.
“One thirty-three!” bellers Peter. “One thirty-three! Oh, how can I look
my grandmother's picture in the face after this? One thirty-three--once!
One thirty-three--twice! Third and last call! One--thirty--”
Then Eddie begun to raise his hand, but 'twas too late.
“One thirty-three and SOLD! To Mr. Milo Thompson for one hundred and
thirty-three dollars!”
And just then come a shriek from the piazza; the Duchess and “Irene
dear” had come out of the parlor.
Well! Talk about crowing! The way that Thompson crowd rubbed it in on
the Smalls was enough to make you leave the dinner table. They had the
servants take in them dishes, piece by piece, and every single article,
down to the last butter plate, was steered straight by the Small crowd.
As for poor Eddie, when he come up to explain why he hadn't kept on
bidding, his wife put him out like he was a tin lamp.
“Don't SPEAK to me!” says she. “Don't you DARE speak to me.”
He didn't dare. He just run up a storm sail and beat for harbor back of
the barn. And from the piazza Milo cackled vainglorious.
Me and Cap'n Jonadab and Peter T. felt so sorry for Eddie, knowing what
he had coming to him from the Duchess, that we went out to see him. He
was setting on a wrecked hencoop, looking heart-broke but puzzled.
“'Twas that Saltmarsh made me lose my nerve,” he says. “I thought when
he wouldn't bid there was something wrong with the dishes. And there WAS
something wrong, too. Now what was it?”
“Maybe the price was too high,” says I.
“No, 'twa'n't that. I b'lieve yet he thought they were imitations. Oh,
if they only were!”
And then, lo and behold you, around the corner comes Adoniram Rogers.
I'd have bet large that whatever conscience Adoniram was born with had
dried up and blown away years ago. But no; he'd resurrected a remnant.
“Mr. Small,” stammered Mr. Rogers, “I'm sorry you feel bad about not
buying them dishes. I--I thought I'd ought to tell you--that is to say,
I--Well, if you want another set, I cal'late I can get it for you--that
is, if you won't tell nobody.”
“ANOTHER set?” hollers Eddie, wide-eyed. “Anoth--Do you mean to say
you've got MORE?”
“Why, I ain't exactly got 'em now, but my nephew John keeps a furniture
store in South Boston, and he has lots of sets like that. I bought that
one off him.”
Peter T. Brown jumps to his feet.
“Why, you outrageous robber!” he hollers. “Didn't you say those dishes
were old?”
“I never said nothing, except that they were like the plate that feller
had on the piazza. And they was, too. YOU folks said they was old, and I
thought you'd ought to know, so--”
Eddie Small threw up both hands. “Fakes!” he hollers. “Fakes! AND
THOMPSON PAID ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY-THREE DOLLARS FOR 'EM! Boys,
there's times when life's worth living. Have a drink.”
We went into the billard-room and took something; that is, Peter and
Eddie took that kind of something. Me and Jonadab took cigars.
“Fellers,” said Eddie, “drink hearty. I'm going in to tell my wife. Fake
dishes! And I beat Thompson on the davenport.”
He went away bubbling like a biling spring. After he was gone Rogers
looked thoughtful.
“That's funny, too, ain't it?” he says.
“What's funny?” we asked.
“Why, about that sofy he calls a davenport. You see, I bought that off
John, too,” says Adoniram.