_Lord John (lighting cigarette)._ A cynic is a man who, etc.
Better, but leaves much too much to the actor.
Well, I see I must tell you.
_Lord John (taking out gold cigarette case from his left-hand upper
waistcoat pocket)._ A cynic, my dear Arthur (_he opens case
deliberately, puts cigarette in mouth, and extracts gold match-box from
right-hand trouser_) is a man who (_strikes match_) knows the price of
(_lights cigarette_)--everything, and (_standing with match in one hand
and cigarette in the other_) the value of---- pff (_blows out match_) of
(_inhales deeply from cigarette and blows out a cloud of
smoke_)--nothing.
It makes a different thing of it altogether. Of course on the actual
night the match may refuse to strike, and _Lord John_ may have to go on
saying "a man who--a man who--a man who" until the ignition occurs, but
even so it will still seem delightfully natural to the audience (as if
he were making up the epigram as he went along); while as for blowing
the match out he can hardly fail to do _that_ in one.
The cigarette, of course, will be smoked at other moments than
epigrammatic ones, but on these other occasions you will not need to
deal so fully with it in the stage directions. "_Duke (lighting
cigarette)._ I trust, Perkins, that ..." is enough. You do not want to
say, "_Duke (dropping ash on trousers)._ It seems to me, my love ..."
or, "_Duke (removing stray piece of tobacco from tongue)._ What Ireland
needs is ..."; still less "_Duke (throwing away end of cigarette)._ Show
him in." For this must remain one of the mysteries of the stage--What
happens to the stage cigarette when it has been puffed four times? The
stage tea, of which a second cup is always refused; the stage cutlet,
which is removed with the connivance of the guest after two mouthfuls;
the stage cigarette, which nobody ever seems to want to smoke to the
end--thinking of these as they make their appearances in the houses of
the titled, one would say that the hospitality of the peerage was not a
thing to make any great rush for....
But that would be to forget the butler and the three footmen. Even a
Duke cannot have everything. And what his _chef_ may lack in skill his
butler more than makes up for in impassivity.