***
Mr. H. CSCINSKY, the author of the standard work, _English Furniture of
the Eighteenth Century_, says that 999 out of every 1,000 pieces of old
oak furniture in the present day are forgeries. The only way, therefore,
to ensure that you get a genuine specimen is to order 1,000 pieces, and
the furniture trade trusts that all collectors will take this elementary
precaution when purchasing.
***
The abandonment of the scheme for the rebuilding of the Lambeth Police
Court has caused some disappointment among local criminals, some of
whom, we are glad to hear, are ashamed to be seen in the present
structure.
* * * * *
[Illustration: "Wotcher bin doin'--fightin'?"
"NO--BOOHOO--I BIN FOUGHT!"]
* * * * *
Being convinced that Germany possesses too many Leagues and Associations
the town of Seesen, in the Harz, has established an "Association for
Combating the Mania for the Formation of Leagues and Associations"--not
realising until too late that they have thereby formed one more.
***
"Keep your arms" is Sir EDWARD CARSON'S latest advice to the Ulster
volunteers--and they have kept their heads so well that they should have
no difficulty in this respect.
***
An American clergyman got into trouble last week for holding up his hand
and trying to stop the traffic in the Strand. The sky-pilot found out
pretty soon that he was out of his element.
***
A man placed a bank paper bag containing £63 10s. on the counter at the
chief post-office in Swansea, one day last week, while he changed a
postal order. When he turned to pick up the bag it had disappeared. The
local police incline to the view that someone must have taken it.
***
A muddle-headed correspondent writes to express surprise on learning
that the day devoted to collections for the charities connected with the
Variety Stage should be known as "Tag Day." The old fellow had always
imagined that "Tag Day" was a toast on German war vessels.
* * * * *