Fiddle, we know, is diddle: and diddle, we take it, is dee.
_The Heptalogia._
_A privileged person._--One who is so
much of a savage when thwarted that civilized
persons avoid thwarting him.
ANNE EVANS, _Poems and Music_.
I've studied human nature, and I know a thing or two;
Though a girl may fondly love a living gent, as many do:
A feeling of disgust upon her senses there will fall
When she looks upon his body chopped particularly small.
W. S. GILBERT, _Bab Ballads_.
The Bishop of Exeter, in the course of conversation
at a dinner-party, mentioned that many
years since, while trout-fishing, he lost his watch
and chain, which he supposed had been pulled from his
pocket by the bough of a tree. Some time afterwards,
when staying in the same neighbourhood, he took a
stroll by the side of the river, and came to the secluded
spot where he supposed he had lost his valuables, and
there, to his surprise and delight, he found them under a
bush. The anecdote, vouched for by the word of a
bishop, astonished the company; but this was changed
to amusement by his son's inquiring whether the watch,
when found, was going. "No," replied the bishop;
"the wonder was that it was not gone."
GRONOW, _Recollections_.
_ON FORTUNE._
Fortune, they say, doth give too much to many:
And yet she never gave enough to any.
SIR JOHN HARYNGTON (1561-1612).
I do not speak of this mole in any tone of complaint.
I desire to write nothing against him
which I should wish to recall at the last,--nothing
foreign to the spirit of that beautiful saying of
the dying boy, "He had no copybook, which, dying, he
was sorry he had blotted."
C. D. WARNER, _My Summer in a Garden_.
Know, then, that when that touching scene
Had reached its tenderest pitch,
When all was pathos, calm, serene,
_His nose began to itch_.
'Twas sad, but so it came to pass,
The knight might chafe and frown,
But could not reach it, for alas!
_He wore his vizor down_.
_Songs of Singularity._
I remember asking [Bagehot] if he had enjoyed
a particular dinner which he had rather expected
to enjoy, but he replied, "No, the sherry was
bad; tasted as if L---- had dropped his h's into it."
R. H. HUTTON, _Memoir of W. Bagehot_.
When Beings of the fairer sex
Arrange their white arms round our necks,
We are, we ought to be, enraptured.
FREDERICK LOCKER, _London Lyrics_.
"Pray, Mr. Foote, do you ever go to church?"
"No, madam; not that I see any harm in it."
THOMAS MOORE, _Diary_.
_ON AN INCAPABLE PERSON._
Fortune advanced thee that all might aver
That nothing is impossible to her.
R. GARNETT (from the Greek).
I remember a Trinity College (Dublin) story of
a student who, having to translate Cæsar, rendered
the first sentence, "Omnis Gallia divisa est
in tres partes,"--"All Gaul is quartered into three
halves."
W. H. HARRISON, _University Magazine_.
Always seem to be modest and bashful, yet wise;
Remember the value of using your eyes;
Recollect, too, that money's not easily met,
And always accept every offer you get;
Be polite to all--grandmammas, sisters, and mothers,
For they've all of them grandsons, or own sons or brothers;
And never forget the chief object in life
Is to quickly be settled--a well-to-do wife.
_Phoebe_, in H. P. STEPHENS's _Billee Taylor_.
One asked what herb that was that cured all
diseases. It was answered, "Time."
_Conceits, Clinches_, etc. (1639).
In his sleeves, which were long,
He had twenty-four packs--
Which was coming it strong,
Yet I state but the facts;
And we found on his nails, which were taper,
What is frequent in tapers--that's wax.
BRET HARTE, _Complete Works_.
In a conversation which happened to turn on railway
accidents and the variety of human sufferings,
a bank director observed that he always
felt great interest in the case of a broken limb. "Then,
I suppose," said ----, "for a compound fracture you feel
compound interest."
W. JERDAN, _Memoirs_.
_ON A CERTAIN POET._
Thy verses are eternal, O my friend,
For he who reads them reads them to no end.
_A Collection of Epigrams_ (1727).
One day, coming late to dinner in the country,
[Lady Charlotte Lindsay] excused herself by
the "macadamnable" state of the roads.
LORD HOUGHTON, _Monographs_.
I wish some girls that I could name
Were half as silent as their pictures!
W. M. PRAED.
The other day I heard that whimsical fellow G----
make a rather foolish remark, to the effect that
the pleasure of _not_ going to church was a
pleasure that _never_ palled.
FREDERICK LOCKER, _Patchwork_.
And day again declines;
In shadow sleep the vines,
And the last ray thro' the pines
Feebly glows,
Then sinks behind yon ridge;
And the usual evening midge
Is settling on the bridge
Of my nose.
And keen's the air and cold,
And the sheep are in the fold,
And Night walks stable-stoled
Thro' the trees;
And on the silent river
The floating star-beams quiver;--
And now, the saints deliver
Us from fleas.
C. S. CALVERLEY, _Verses and Translations_.
Tommy Townshend, a violent, foolish fellow,
who was always talking strong language, said in
some debate, "Nothing will satisfy me but to
have the noble Lord [North]'s head; I will have his
head." Lord North said, "The honourable gentleman
says he will have my head. I bear him no malice in
return, for though the honourable gentleman says he will
have my head, I can assure him I would on no account
have his."
CHARLES GREVILLE, _Diary_.
With undissembled grief I tell,--
For sorrow never comes too late,--
The simplest bonnet in Pall Mall
Is sold for £1 8_s._
CATHARINE M. FANSHAWE.
Said the Gryphon, "Do you know why it's called
a whiting?"
"I never thought about it," said Alice.
"Why?"
"_It does the boots and shoes_," the Gryphon replied
very solemnly.
Alice was thoroughly puzzled. "Does the boots and
shoes?" she repeated in a wondering tone.
"Why, what are _your_ shoes done with?" said the
Gryphon. "I mean, what makes them so shiny?"
Alice looked down at them, and considered a little
before she gave her answer. "They're done with blacking,
I believe."
"Boots and shoes under the sea," the Gryphon went
on in a deep voice, "are done with whiting. Now you
know."
LEWIS CARROLL, _Alice in Wonderland_.
I'm always dull on Christmas Day,
It lets a flood of ills in,
For that's the time those birds of prey
Bring all their horrid bills in!
J. R. PLANCHÉ, _Songs and Poems_.
The wit of a family is usually best received among
strangers.
GEORGE ELIOT, _Middlemarch_.
Sweet maids in wimples fair y-wrought,
Shall smile upon thee. Thou shalt say,
Oft, by thy halidame, there's nought
So gracious and so fair as they,
But what thy halidame may be,
I trow 'tis useless asking me.
H. SAVILE CLARKE.
Le vrai honnête homme est celui qui ne se pique de
rien.
LA ROCHEFOUCAULD, _Réflexions_.
O memory! thou art but a sigh
For friendships dead and loves forgot,
And many a cold and altered eye
That once did say--Forget me not!
And I must bow me to thy laws,
For--odd although it may be thought--
I can't tell who the deuce it was
That gave me this Forget-me-not!
_Bon Gaultier Ballads._
What is Truth? "Bring me the wash-hand basin,"
is the reply of Pontius Pilate.
HEINRICH HEINE, _The Denunciator_.
_ON A RECENT ROBBERY._
They came and stole my garments,
My stockings, all my store,
But they could not steal my sermons,
For they were stolen before.
REV. HENRY TOWNSHEND.
Some folk's tongues are like the clocks as run on
strikin', not to tell you the time o' day, but
because there's summat wrong i' their own
inside.
_Mrs. Poyser_, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Adam Bede_.
'Tis said that he lived upon bacon and beans,
And that sometimes he dined upon salt pork and greens;
But he thought that such feeding was rather humdrum,--
"I've gone the whole hog," said little Tom Thumb.
As Tom once was crossing a river close by,
A salmon snapped up, as it would at a fly;
But as it was dark Tom did sing rather mum--
"I'm down in the mouth," said little Tom Thumb.
Next day a black raven poor Tom did espy,
Which carried him up to the heaven so high;
If the bird let him go, to the ground would he come--
"I'll be dashed if I do," said little Tom Thumb.
J. A. SIDEY, _Mistura Curiosa_.
It is often harder to praise a friend than an enemy.
W. HAZLITT, _Characteristics_.
_ON A CERTAIN PARSON._
By purchase a man's property is known:
Scarf's sermons and his livings are his own.
_Epigrams in Distich_ (1740).
I measure men's dullness by the devices they
trust in for deceiving others. Your dullest
animal is he who grins and says he doesn't mind
just after he has had his shins kicked.
MACHIAVELLI, in GEORGE ELIOT's _Romola_.
_GRAMMATICAL._
The least drop in the world I do not mind:
"Cognac" 's a noun I never yet declined.
H. J. BYRON, in _English Epigrams_.
"There is no middle course," said Charles X. to
Talleyrand, "between the throne and the
scaffold!" "Your Majesty forgets the post-chaise!"
CRABB ROBINSON, _Diary_.
I could not, while you shone,
Run all that heartless _babble off_
That marks the modern _Babylon_.
ROBERT REECE, in _Comic Poets_.
_TO AN IMPORTUNATE HOST
DURING DINNER AND AFTER TENNYSON._
Ask me no more: I've had enough Chablis;
The wine may come again, and take the shape,
From glass to glass, of "Mountain" or of "Cape;"
But, my dear boy, when I have answered thee,
Ask me no more.
Ask me no more: what answer should I give?
I love not pickled pork nor partridge pie;
I feel if I took whisky I should die;
Ask me no more--for I prefer to live:
Ask me no more.
Ask me no more: unless my fate is sealed,
And I have striven against you all in vain:
Let your good butler bring me Hock again:
Then rest, dear boy. If for this once I yield,
Ask me no more.
W. D. A.
Sir Robert Grant told a story well, and
could pun successfully without boring. By way
of instance, on the beach at Sidmouth he pronounced
the six beautiful Miss Twopennys to be the
"Splendid shilling."
LORD TEIGNMOUTH, _Reminiscences_.
Oh to be wafted away
From this black Aceldama of sorrow,
Where the dust of an earthy to-day,
Is the earth of a dusty to-morrow!
_Bunthorne_, in W. S. GILBERT's _Patience_.
One said, painters were cunning fellows, for they
had a colour for everything they did.
_Conceits, Clinches_, etc. (1639).
Dey vent to hear a breecher of
De last sensadion shtyle,
'Twas 'nough to make der tyfel weep
To see his "awful shmile."
"Vot bities dat der Fechter ne'er
Vos in Theologie.
Dey'd make him pishop in dis shoorsh,"
Said Breitmann, said he.
C. G. LELAND, _Breitmann Ballads_.
"Oh! Pat; and what do you think will be your
feelings on the day of judgment when you
meet Mrs. Mahoney, and the pig you stole from
her, face to face?" "Does your reverence think the pig
will be there?" "Ay, indeed, will he; and what will ye
say then?" "I shall say, your reverence, 'Mrs. Mahoney,
dear, here's the pig that I borrowed of ye, and I'm
mighty glad to have this opportunity of restoring him!'"
_Life of Rev. W. Harness._
_In vino veritas!_--which means
A man's a very ass in liquor;
The "thief that slowly steals our brains"
Makes nothing but the temper quicker.
Next morning brings a train of woes,
But finds the passions much sedater--
Who was it, now, that pulled my nose?--
I'd better go and ask the waiter.
H. CHOLMONDELEY PENNELL, _Pegasus Resaddled_.
Jones, the tailor, was asked by a customer, who
thought much of his cut, to go down and have
some shooting with him in the country. Among
the party was the Duke of Northumberland. "Well,
Mr. Jones," observed his Grace, "I'm glad to see that
you are becoming a sportsman. What sort of gun do
you shoot with?" "Oh, with a double-breasted one,
your Grace," was the reply.
_Life of Rev. W. Harness._
Now wedlock is a sober thing,
No more of chains or forges!
A plain young man, a plain gold ring,
The curate, and St. George's.
EDWARD FITZGERALD.
The greatest advantage I know of being thought
a wit by the world, is, that it gives one the
greater freedom of playing the fool.
POPE, _Thoughts on Various Subjects_.
Conceive me, if you can,
An every-day young man:
A common-place type,
With a stick and a pipe,
And a half-bred black-and-tan;
Who thinks suburban "hops"
More fun than "Monday Pops";
Who's fond of his dinner,
And doesn't get thinner,
On bottled beer and chops;--
A common-place young man--
A matter-of-fact young man--
A steady and stolid-y, jolly Bank-holiday
Every-day young man!
_Grosvenor_, in W. S. GILBERT's _Patience_.
I do not so much want to avoid being cheated, as
to afford the expense of being so; the generality
of mankind being seldom in good humour but
whilst they are imposing upon you in some shape or
other.
SHENSTONE, _Essays_.
Only think, to have lords overrunning the nation,
As plenty as frogs in a Dutch inundation;
No shelter from barons, from earls no protection,
And tadpole young lords, too, in every direction,--
Things created in haste, just to make a court list of,
Two legs and a coronet all they consist of!
THOMAS MOORE.
Lo! the king, his footsteps this way bending,
His cogitative faculties immersed
In cogibundity of cogitation.
_Aldiborontiphoscophornio_, in CAREY's _Chrononhotonthologos_.
It is with narrow-souled people, as with narrow-necked
bottles: the less they have in them, the
more noise they make in pouring out.
POPE, _Thoughts on Various Subjects_.
One privilege to man is left--
The privilege of earning
The doss that pays the weekly bills.
H. CHOLMONDELEY PENNELL, _Pegasus Resaddled_.
_Happy thought._--"Fridoline!" I have her
permission to call her Fridoline.
Happy thoughts! Happy thoughts!! Happy
thoughts!!!
I think I am speaking: she speaks: we speak
together. A pause. Oh, for one happy thought, now.
"May I?" Her head is turned away from me:
slightly. She does not move. "I may?"
_Happy Thought._--I do.
F. C. BURNAND, _Happy Thoughts_.
INDEX.
A.
Absence an element of charm, 236
Actress, an inanimate, 59
_Adam Bede_, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Adam's language, 27
Advice, Pope on giving, 87
Agreeable person, an, 6
Ailing and ale-ing, 227
Albemarle, Lord, quoted, 32, _et seq._
Alderman, on an, 180
Alderson, Baron, on Lord Campbell, 194
Aldrich, Dean, quoted, 229
_Alice in Wonderland_, quoted, 7, _et seq._
"A little backer," 175
"All Gaul is quartered," 253
"All my eye," 41, 93
All Saints, 106
Allsopp's ale, 152
"All the souls that were," 97
Altruism, Mallock on, 167
Alvanley, Lord, _mot_ by, 67
"Always seem to be modest," 253
_Amours de Voyage_, quoted, 59
"Anecdotage," 43, 107
Animals, George Eliot on, 41, 102
_Anti-Jacobin, the_, quoted, 33
"Ape in the days that were earlier," 43
"Ape with pliable thumb," 17
Aristocracy, the, Phoebus on, 170
Aristocratic poets, 223
Arnold, Matthew, on, 123
_Art de Parvenir, L'_, quoted, 231
Art-Unions, Hood on, 3
Ashburton, Lady, _mots_ by, 30, _et seq._
Ashby-Sterry, J., quoted, 22, _et seq._
_Aspen Court_, quoted, 5
Atalanta, on, 188
Athanasian Creed, the, 89
Austin, Alfred, quoted, 19, _et seq._
B.
_Bab Ballads_, quoted, 105, _et seq._
Bagehot, Walter, _mots_ by, 84, _et seq._
Bailey, Philip James, quoted, 26
Balbus, 103
_Ballades in Blue China_, quoted, 20, _et seq._
Balls and operas, on, 239
Balzac, quoted, 4, _et seq._
Bancroft, Thomas, quoted, 228
Barham, R. H., quoted, 12, _et seq._
Barrington, Sir Jonah, quoted, 28
Barry, Redmond, _mot_ by, 36
Bass's beer, 125
Baxter, Rose, and Norton, 66
Beaconsfield, Lord, quoted, 6, _et seq._
Bean, the, Warner on, 184
Bears, Locker on, 23
"Beautiful soup," 238
Beazley, Samuel, _mots_ by, 51, _et seq._
"Beer, such power hath," 235
_Beppo_, quoted, 21
Berkeley, Grantley, quoted, 142
_Biglow Papers, the_, quoted, 30, _et seq._
_Billee Taylor_, quoted, 127, _et seq._
Bills, Christmas, 256
----, weekly, 202, 264
Bishops, Alvanley on, 129
"Bisness first," 15
Black, a great fact, 5
Blackie, Professor, quoted, 45, _et seq._
"Bloom of ugliness, the," 195
"Blossom of hawthorn," 25
Blows, George Eliot on, 137
Blue-stockings, on, 9
_Bon Gaultier Ballads_, quoted, 71, _et seq._
"Books are fatal," 52
Books, reading new, 221
Boredom, the secret of, 34
Bores, Lady Ashburton on, 30
_Boudoir Ballads_, quoted, 22, _et seq._
Boyd, Mark, quoted, 56, _et seq._
Bramston, John, quoted, 48
Braxfield, Lord, anecdote of, 133
"Break, break, break!" 213
_Breitmann Ballads_, quoted, 86, _et seq._
Bright, John, Professor Blackie on, 204
Brighton, Collins on, 84;
Ashby Sterry on, 211
_British Birds, the_, quoted, 21, _et seq._
Broad church, the, 36
"Broken English," 136
Brooks, Shirley, quoted, 5, _et seq._
Brown, to Lady, 214
Browne, C. F. _See_ Ward, Artemus.
----, J. Jemmett, quoted, 5, _et seq._
Brummell, _mot_ by, 69
Buckle, Professor Blackie on, 127
Burnand, F. C., quoted, 88, _et seq._
Busby, Dr., anecdote of, 150
Business, described, 8
Buxton, Charles, quoted, 27, _et seq._
Byron, H. J., quoted, 10, _et seq._
----, Lord, quoted, 7, _et seq._;
_mot_ by, 62
C.
Callender, Miss, _mot_ on, 1
Calverley, C. S., quoted, 5, _et seq._
Campbell, Thomas, quoted, 231;
Rogers on, 35
Candide, Byron on, 216
Cannon, _mot_ by, 135
"Cannot have everything," 63
Cappadocians, on the, 4
_Careless Husband, the_, quoted, 1
Carey, Henry, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Carlyle, on, 180
_Carols of Cockayne_, quoted, 44, _et seq._
Carroll, Lewis, quoted, 7, _et seq._
Castlereagh, Lord, _mot_ by, 34
Catch, light-fingered, 135
Cayley, G. J., quoted, 80, _et seq._
Celebrity, Chamfort on, 13
Cerberus, H. J. Byron on, 228
Ceremony, 149
Chambermaids, Mark Twain on, 124
Chamfort, quoted, 13, _et seq._
Character, on, 140
_Characteristics_, Hazlitt's, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Charron, quoted, 174
Chatterton, Lady, quoted, 93
Chelmsford, Lord, _mot_ by, 142
Chesterfield, Lord, quoted, 53, _et seq._
Children, Dudley Warner on, 154
China, blue, 149
China-buying, 240
Chloe, Mortimer Collins's, 216
Chloris, to, 240
Chorley, H. F., quoted, 2, _et seq._
Christ Church "Marriage," 193
_Chrononhotonthologos_, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Churches as dormitories, 236
Cibber, Colley, quoted, 1
Clergy, the, and hoeing, 200
Close-fist's subscription, 194
Clough, A. H., quoted, 6, _et seq._
"Coach, coach, coach!" 11
Cockney, the, 173
"Cognac," Byron on, 259
Coleridge, S. T., quoted, 76, _et seq._
_Collection of Epigrams_, quoted, 3, _et seq._
College life, 166
Collins, Mortimer, quoted, 21, _et seq._
_Comic Poets_, quoted, 57, _et seq._
Companies, Thurlow on, 72
Company, our own, 225
Compliments, 60, 188
Compton's _Life_, quoted, 14, _et seq._;
_mots_ by, 55, _et seq._
_Conceits, Clinches_, etc., quoted, 232, _et seq._
Congreve, William, quoted, 12, _et seq._
Conscience, Mallock on, 108;
Byron on, 116
Constancy, Vauvenargues on, 65
Constant, Benjamin, _mot_ by, 230
Contentment, Holmes on, 24
Cork, Lady, anecdote of, 131
"Cornet waltzes, a," 54
Cornopean, the amateur, 173
Courage, drunken, on, 228
Courthope, W. J., quoted, 153
Courtship and marriage, 178
Cowden Clarke, Mrs., quoted, 78
Crawley, Richard, quoted, 36
Critics, the, 202
Croly, George, quoted, 188
Croquet, advice on, 224
Cunningham, John, quoted, 180
Curiosity only vanity, 240
Curran, _mots_ by, 29, _et seq._
"Cursed be the whole concern," 191
D.
Daddy Longlegs, Whately on, 90
Damnation, preaching, 30
Darwin, on, 8, 180
Daughter, an obstinate, 37
Davies, Scrope, quoted, 130
Deshoulières, Madame, quoted, 37
_Devil's Walk, the_, quoted, 36
_Diary_, Crabb Robinson's, quoted, 24, _et seq._
---- Greville's, quoted, 129
----, Moore's, quoted, 9, _et seq._
----, W. C. Macready's, quoted, 75, _et seq._
----, Young's, quoted, 4, _et seq._
Dickens, Charles, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Dinner, after, 185
Dinner-bell, Lord Byron on the, 7
_Dipsychus_, quoted, 163
"Dirty-two," 82
"_Dis_contents, the," 21
Dobson, Austin, quoted, 11, _et seq._
Domestic woman, a, 198
Donaldson, Dr., _mots_ by, 24, _et seq._
_Don Juan_, quoted, 7, _et seq._
Donne, Dr., quoted, 48;
_mot_ by, 212
"Don't Care," Helps on, 13
D'Orsay, Count, _mots_ by, 184, _et seq._
_Double Dealer, the_, quoted, 12
Drake, Dr., _mot_ by, 36
"Draw it mild," 219
Drawing on wood, 7
Dress, Vigo on, 222
Drinking, reasons for, 229
Dudley, Lord, Castlereagh on, 34;
_mot_ by, 241
_Duenna, the_, quoted, 37
Dumas _fils_, quoted, 87
Dust and disease, 78
"Dust of an earthy to-day, the," 261
Duty, Clough on, 6
Dying boy, the, 251
E.
Early rising, Saxe on, 122;
Hood on, 195
Eater, on a small, 226
Edinburgh, Hannay on, 116
Eliot, George, quoted, 6, _et seq._
Ellenborough, Lord, _mot_ by, 84
Emerson, R. W., quoted, 47
_Endymion_, Lord Beaconsfield's, 80, _et seq._
_English Epigrams_, quoted, 10, _et seq._
---- language, the, 32, 60
"Entirely within their province," 244
_Epigram in Distich_, quoted, 85
Episcopal office, Sydney Smith on, 192
Equality, on, 45
_Eugene Aram_, quoted, 152
Evans, Anne, quoted, 49, _et seq._
Evening dress, on ladies', 174
---- newspapers, 241
"Every-day young man, an," 263
Eye-glass, on the, 164
F.
_Fable for critics, a_, quoted, 178
False love's quirk, 230
Fanshawe, Catherine M., quoted, 256
Fashion, Lytton on, 18
Feeding a cold, 42
_Felix Holt_, quoted, 26
Felons and their "innocent enjoyment," 241
_Festus_, quoted, 26
Fiddler, on a bad, 3
Fielding, Henry, quoted, 56
Fields, J. T., quoted, 14, _et seq._
_Fifty years of my life_, quoted, 32, _et seq._
Fine lady, a, Pope on, 42
"First men of the century," 185
Fitzgerald, Edward, quoted, 262
Flattery, Vauvenargues on, 95
_Fly-leaves_, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Fools, Hazlitt on, 143
Foote, _mots_ by, 211, _et seq._
"Forever," 142
Fortune, on, 251
Forty year, 197
"Forty years long," 156
"Found it advisable," 57
"Four by honours," 33
Franklin, Mark Twain on, 178
Fraser, Professor, quoted, 247
Free-thinking, 113
"Free to confess," 47
Freeman, Mr., on, 242
----, Thomas, quoted, 196
"Friend, go thy way," 155
Friends and ripe fruit, 79
----, Hazlitt on, 106
_---- in Council_, quoted, 13, _et seq._
----, Old, Selden on, 11
French, the, Harness on, 38
---- and English, 210
Froude and Kingsley, 111
Fuller, Francis, quoted, 173
Funny man, a, 30
G.
Galla, Haryngton on, 225
"Gardener's rule, this," 248
Garnett, Richard, quoted, 60, _et seq._
Gay, John, quoted, 240
Genus, 111
"Georgium Any-sidus," 99
German language, the, 237
"Gift of the gab," 74
Gilbert, W. S., quoted, 14, _et seq._
_Gilfil's love story_, quoted, 41
Gillon, Joseph, _mot_ by, 141
Good little girls, 115
"Good not the word," 55
Good people, Locker on, 204
Grapes and gripes, on, 155
Gratitude, popular, 189
Graves, Richard, quoted, 225
Greville, Charles, quoted, 129
Gronow's _Recollections_, quoted, 10, _et seq._
_Guesses at Truth_, quoted, 5, _et seq._
H.
"Halidame, by thy," 257
Hamilton, Sir John, _mot_ by, 28
Hannay, James, quoted, 23, _et seq._
_Happy Thoughts_, quoted, 88, _et seq._
Harness, William, _mot_ by, 38
Harrison, W. H., quoted, 38, _et seq._
Harte, Bret, quoted, 80, _et seq._
Haryngton, Sir John, quoted, 225
Hay, John, quoted, 13, _et seq._
Haydon, B. R., quoted, 4, _et seq._
Hayward, Abraham, quoted, 3, _et seq._
Hazlitt, William, quoted, 15, _et seq._
Heath, Robert, quoted, 201
"Hegel's modest formula," 53
Heine, Heinrich, quoted, 126, _et seq._
Helps, Sir Arthur, quoted, 13, _et seq._
_Heptalogia, the_, quoted, 250
"Heureux plafond," 85
Hicks, epigrams by, 2, _et seq._
_High Life Below Stairs_, quoted, 37
Hill, Aaron, quoted, 205
_H.M.S. Pinafore_, quoted, 56
Holmes, Oliver Wendell, quoted, 24, _et seq._
Holland, Lord, epigram by, 51
"Home they brought," 200
Hood, Thomas, quoted, 3, _et seq._;
anecdotes of, 155, _et seq._
Hook, Theodore, _mots_ by, 2, _et seq._
_Horace at Athens_, quoted, 32, _et seq._
_---- in London_, quoted, 34
_Horse and Foot_, quoted, 36
House of Commons, on, 160
"How doth the little crocodile," 118
Hugman, R., quoted, 92
Hugo, Victor, Heine on, 151
Humility, Selden on, 48
Hunt, Leigh, quoted, 228
_Hunting of the Snark, the_, quoted, 22, _et seq._
Husband, an intemperate, 65
----, the desire of a, 177
"Hyam to Moses," 19
_Hyperion_, quoted, 117
Hypocrite, a, 148
I.
"I and non-I," 246
"I loiter down," 162
"I make the butter fly," 32
_Idylls and Epigrams_, quoted, 60, _et seq._
Ignorance, blessed, 201
----, Felix Holt on, 199
Immorality, present day, 92
Impositions of mankind, 263
Incapable person, on an, 252
_Ingoldsby Lyrics_, quoted, 12, _et seq._
Insolence, 12
Intentions, good, 91
Irving, Washington, _mot_ by, 4
J.
Jabberwock, The, 220
_Janet's Repentance_, quoted, 96
Jeaffreson, J. C., quoted, 85