The Secretary of the Interior observed, that as Charleston harbor wasn't
in his department, he would say nothing.
Mr. BATES urged that the people of his section were loyal to the flag;
in fact, they not only wanted the flag but the Capitol itself, and the
national buildings (except the monument), removed to St. Louis; if they
couldn't get that, they might be satisfied if Fort Sumter were towed
around there, up the Mississippi. It would certainly be a good deal
safer there.
Mr. GIDEON WELLES wanted it distinctly understood that Gen. SCOTT, Gen.
HOLT, Capt. FOX and the _Powhatan_ could save the country if Mr. SEWARD
would let them; otherwise he would make a minute of these deliberations,
and if his friend Mr. YOUNG (whom he was pleased to see present) didn't
expose it, he himself would put it in the shape of a lively sketch, and
send it to the magazines.
"Well--now," said Mr. LINCOLN, after patiently waiting, "this reminds me
of the man in Pomeroy, Ohio, who kept what he called an 'eating saloon.'
One morning, a tall hoosier came in and called for ham and eggs. 'Can't
giv 'em to ye, stranger,' said the proprietor, 'but what'll ye hav'
t'drink?--don't keep nothin' but a bar.' 'Yer don't? Then what'n thunder
yer got that sign out thar for?' for the fellow was a little mad. 'Why
yer see I call her a eating saloon, 'cos I reckon she eats up all the
profits."
This beautiful and appropriate anecdote, which seemed to throw a flood
of light upon the critical State question under consideration, pleased
every one except FLOYD, who swore it was ungenerous and unchivalric.
Hastily withdrawing, he threatened to telegraph it verbatim to the
insurgents; it would fire the Southern heart.
SEWARD said he was going home, as he had already sent the _Powhatan_ to
PICKENS.
Mr. LINCOLN yawned, and turning to me, inquired: "Well, SARSFIELD, you
see what a man's got to do to run this machine,--now what's your
advice?"
"Your Excellency," I replied, "there's a man in the tanning business at
Galena, in your State. Telegraph him at once. His name is GRANT, and if
you give him the tools to work with, he'll straighten everything out for
you as neat as a pin."
The meeting dissolved without taking heed of my suggestion, and the
world knows the result. However, there's one thing I am proud of. I
claim to have discovered GRANT four years before WASHBURN did. That's
the secret why I can have any office I want under the present
administration.