Purposely or otherwise, we are all on our way to California now--men,
women, and children--graybeards and babies. We did Europe two or three
years ago, so that idea is obsolete, excepting as a bridal tour; then,
too, the more peaceably inclined, who have not seen the European
elephant, would prefer to wait until that country is again in a state of
quiescence. But Chicago is constantly sending out her adventure-loving
citizens upon the Pacific road, each one of whom looks, sees, admires,
and suddenly develops an epistolary talent hitherto undreamed of by his
most enthusiastic friends. There's our MELISSA, for instance--she never
used to have a pen in her hand more than once in the course of six
months, and _now_--why, we really seem to have another SÉVIGNÉ budding
right in our midst. She went to California, saw all the sights, and
wondered, and admired, and _wrote_. The floods of eloquence that had so
long been slumbering now burst forth beyond all hindrance or control.
She stopped at Salt Lake, and called upon BRIGHAM YOUNG, and was so
disgusted with the mighty prophet that she would not look at him. Yet,
considering that circumstance, she described his personal appearance
with wonderful vividness and accuracy. She indulged in the usual amount
of stern remonstrance and indignation, that seem to be almost
indispensable to the occasion. ALONZO asked why she called upon the
dreadful man, and somewhat maliciously inquired if it was not for the
express purpose of being shocked and horrified, thus affording a fine
chance to moralize, and display the elevation of her own principles,
and, in fact, help to fill out a good article; but MELISSA most
vigorously denied the soft impeachment. Then she saw the sad wives,
whose days of sunshine are gone by, and the merry ones,--who don the cap
and bells deliberately; and for their benefit she expended just the
proper degree of astonishment and sympathy--so fully substantiating the
sound and praiseworthy condition of her own mind and heart.
This excellent young woman also caught glimpses of the red man, and here
was another glorious opportunity to display her literary genius--and she
did not let the occasion slip--O no! it produced a plaintive little
rhapsody of pity and regret, such as "Mr. Lo!" is apt to inspire in the
hearts of the young and romantic, although if MELISSA were to find
herself alone in a forest, with the faintest suspicion of "Mr. Lo!"
meandering anywhere near, she would most likely apply her hand
involuntarily to her trembling chignon, and regret as keenly as all
_hard-hearted_ persons, that civilization has not carried out the
process of extermination even more thoroughly than it has done. Indeed,
she would probably wish the red gentleman at the bottom of the Red Sea,
or in some other equally damp and discouraging situation. The
noble-hearted braves are so much prettier to read about than to
encounter, and the thrill occasioned by the sight of a bloody hatchet
suspended over the intricate elaboration which we so fondly term a head,
though more exciting perhaps, would scarcely be as delightful as that
awakened by some perfectly safe and stirring ballad of the red man's
wrongs.
MELISSA'S ideas of refinement met with a great shock. She concluded that
the Indians' acquaintance with soap and water must be extremely limited,
and thought that the distribution amongst them of several boxes of
COLGATE'S best would be a most delicate courtesy, and true missionary
enterprise. In looking at these noble representatives of savage life,
she was greatly puzzled to discover where the dirt ended and the Indian
began: but philanthropy should overlook such trifles. Philanthropy
shouldn't be squeamish.
MELISSA, ecstasized over Lake Tahoe, and Yo Semité, and the Big Trees,
and was delighted, enchanted, and enraptured in the most thorough and
conscientious manner. She revelled amongst California grapes and pears,
and quaffed the California wines with appropriate delight and hilarity.
She also studied JOHN CHINAMAN in all his phases, and came to the
conclusion that he would do. She thought it would be a seraphic
experience to see the pride and importance of Misses BRIDGET and
GRETCHEN taken down a little. JOHN would certainly not possess the
voluble eloquence--of the first, nor the stolid impudence of the second,
nor would he have, like the pretty Swede, a train of admirers a mile in
length. Of course he would not have these advantages to recommend him.
But then one can get along without florid oratory in the kitchen, and
although a lady may feel highly pleased and flattered to see an unending
procession of admirers file in and out of her drawing-rooms, still she
has a most decided objection to seeing the same imposing spectacle in
her kitchen. Women, will be inconsistent.
MELISSA particularly admired JOHN'S manner of ironing. She thought it
peculiar but genteel, and gentility is always desirable. There must be
something about the climate of California that is especially inspiring
to authors--a kind of magnetism in the atmosphere that draws out all the
literary talent which may be lying dormant in their souls--so that any
one desirous of becoming a writer, has only to take a trip to that
fascinating region, and at some unexpected moment he will awake with
rapture and delight to the blessed consciousness of having blossomed
into a flower of genius, and, as such, will feel privileged at once to
deluge his family, his friends, and the world in general, with the
brilliant results of his most delightful discovery.
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