CHAPTER XXXV

THE RESULT

It was not a disagreeable picture--that chubby, rose-cheeked little boy.

Willie had run to the door because he heard the bell. He had not

expected to see a stranger, and at sight of the tall figure he drew back

timidly and half hid himself behind Mrs. Richards, whom he knew to be

the warmest ally he had in the hall.

As the doctor had said to Irving Stanley, he disliked children, but he

could not help noticing Willie, and after the first greetings were over

he asked, "Who have we here? Whose child is this?"

Eudora and Asenath tried to frown, but the expression of their faces

softened perceptibly as they glanced at Willie, who had followed them

into the parlor, and who, with one little foot thrown forward, and his

fat hands pressed together, stood upon the hearth rug, gazing at the

doctor with that strange look which had so often puzzled, bewildered and

fascinated the entire Richards' family.

"Anna wrote you that the maid she so much wanted had come to her at

last--a very ladylike person, who has evidently seen better days, and

this is her child, Willie Markham. He is such a queer little fellow

that we allow him more liberties than we ought."

It was Mrs. Richards who volunteered this explanation, while her son

stood looking down at Willie, wondering what it was about the child

which seemed familiar. Anna had casually mentioned Rose Markham in her

letter, had said how much she liked her, and had spoken of her boy, but

the doctor was too much absorbed in his own affairs to care for Rose

Markham; so he had not thought of her since, notwithstanding that 'Lina

had tried many times to make him speak of Anna's maid, so as to

calculate her own safety. The sight of Willie, however, set the doctor

to thinking, and finally carried him back to the crowded car, the

shrieking child, and the young woman to whom Irving Stanley had been so

kind.

"I hope I shall not be obliged to see her," he thought, and then he

answered his mother's speech concerning Willie. "So you've taken to

petting a servant's child, for want of something better. Just wait until

my boy comes here."

Eudora tried to blush, Asenath looked unconscious, while Mrs. Richards

replied: "If I ever have a grandson one half as pretty or as bright as

Willie, I shall be satisfied."

The doctor did not know how rapidly a lively, affectionate child will

win one's love, and he thought his proud mother grown almost demented;

but still, in spite of himself, he more than once raised his hand to lay

it on Willie's head, pausing occasionally in his conversation to watch

the gambols of the playful child sporting on the carpet.

"Willie, Willie," called Adah from a distant room, where she was looking

for him. "Willie, Willie," and as the silvery tone fell on the doctor's

ears he started suddenly.

"Who is that?" he asked, his heart throbs growing fainter as his mother

replied: "That is Mrs. Markham. Singularly sweet voice for a person in

humble life, don't you think so?"

The doctor's reply was cut short by the entrance of Anna, and in his joy

at meeting his favorite sister and the excitement at the breakfast which

followed immediately, the doctor forgot Rose Markham, who had succeeded

in capturing Willie and borne him to her own room. After breakfast was

over he went with Anna to inspect the rooms which Adah had fitted for

his bride. They were very pleasant, and fastidious as he was he could

find fault with nothing. The carpet, the curtains, the new light

furniture, the armchair by the window where 'Lina was expected to sit,

the fanciful workbasket standing near, and his chair not far away, all

were in perfect taste, and passing his arm caressingly about Anna's

waist he said: "It's very nice, and I thank my little sister so much; of

course, I am wholly indebted to you."

"Not of course. I furnished means, it is true, but another than myself

planned and executed the effect," and sitting down in 'Lina's chair,

Anna told her brother of Rose Markham, so beautiful, so refined, and so

perfectly ladylike. "You must see her, and judge for yourself. Can't I

think of some excuse for sending for her?" she said.

It was some evil genius truly which prompted the doctor's reply.

"Never mind. I'm not partial to smart waiting maids. I'd rather talk

with you."

And so the golden moment was lost, and Adah was not sent for, while in

his bridal rooms the doctor sat, trying to be interested in all that

Anna was saying, trying to believe he should be happy when 'Lina was his

wife, and trying, oh, so hard, to shut out the vision of another, who

should have been there in his own home, instead of lying in some

lonesome grave, as he believed she was, with her baby on her bosom. Poor

Lily!

It was a great mistake he made when he cast Lily off, but it could not

now be helped. No tears, no regrets, could bring back the dear little

form laid away beneath the grassy sod, and so he would not waste his

time in idle mourning. He would do the best he could with 'Lina. He did

believe she loved him. He was almost sure of it, and as a means of

redressing Lily's wrongs he would be kind to her.

And where all this while was Adah? Had she no curiosity, no desire to

see the man about whom she had heard so much? Doubtless she had, and

would have sought an occasion for gratifying it, had not the rather too

talkative Pamelia accidentally overheard the doctor's remark concerning

"smart waiting maids," and repeated it to her, with sundry little

embellishments in tone and manner. Piqued more than she cared to

acknowledge, Adah decided not to trouble him if she could help it, and

so kept out of his way, by staying mostly in her own room, where she was

busy with sewing for Anna.

Once, as the afternoon was drawing to a close, she felt the hot blood

stain her face and prickle the very roots of her hair, as a step,

heavier than a woman's, came along the soft, carpeted hall, and seemed

to pause opposite her door, which stood partially ajar. She was sitting

with her back that way, and so the doctor only saw the outline of her

graceful form bending over her work, confessing to himself how graceful,

how pliant, how girlish it was. He noted, too, the braids of silken hair

drooping behind the well-shaped ears, just as Lily used to wear hers.

Dear Lily! Her hair was much like Rose Markham's, not quite so dark,

perhaps, or so luxuriant, for seldom had he seen locks so abundant and

glossy as those adorning Rose Markham's head.

Slowly the twilight shadows were creeping over Terrace Hill and into the

little room, where, with doors securely shut, Adah was preparing for her

accustomed walk to the office. But what was it which fell like a

thunderbolt on her ear, riveting her to the spot, where she stood, rigid

and immovable as a block of granite cut from the solid rock? Between the

closet and Anna's room there was only a thin partition, and when the

door was open every sound was distinctly heard. The doctor had just come

in, and it was his voice, heard for the first time, which sent the blood

throbbing so madly through Adah's veins and made the sparks of fire

dance before her eyes. She was not deceived--the tones were too

distinct, too full, too well remembered to be mistaken, and stretching

out her hands in the dim darkness, she moaned faintly: "George! 'tis

George!" and she sank upon the floor. She could hear him now saying to

Anna, as her moan fell on his ear, "What was that Anna? Are we not

alone? I wish to speak my farewell words in private."

"Yes, all alone," Anna replied, "unless--" and stepping to Adah's door

she called twice for Rose Markham.

But Adah, though she tried to do so, could neither move nor speak, and

Anna failed to see the figure crouching in the darkness, poor, crushed,

wretched Adah, who could not dispute her when returning to her brother

she said, "There is no one there; Rose has gone to the post office. I

heard her as she went out. We are all alone. Was it anything particular

you wished to tell me?"

Again the familiar tones thrilled on Adah's ears as Dr. Richards

replied: "Nothing very particular. I only wished to say a few words,

'Lina. I want you to like her, to make up, if possible, for the love I

ought to give her."

"Ought to give her! Oh, brother, are you taking 'Lina without love?

Better never make the vow than break it after it is made."

Anna spoke earnestly, and the doctor, who always tried to retain her

good opinion, replied evasively: "I suppose I do love her as well as

half the world love their wives before marriage, but she is different

from any ladies I have known; so different from what poor Lily was.

Anna, let me talk with you again of Lily. I never told you all--but what

is that?" he continued, as he indistinctly heard the choking, gasping,

stifled sob which Adah gave at the sound of the dear pet name. Anna

answered: "It's only the rising wind. It sounds so always when it's in

the east. We surely are alone. What of Lily? Do you wish you were going

after her instead of 'Lina?"

Oh, why did the doctor hesitate a moment? Why did he suffer his dread of

losing Anna's respect to triumph over every other feeling? He had meant

to tell her all, how he did love the gentle girl, the little more than

child, who confided herself to him--how he loved even her memory now far

more than he loved 'Lina, but something kept the full confession back,

and he answered:

"I don't know. We must have money, and 'Lina is rich, while Lily was

very poor, and the only friend or relation she knew was one with whom I

would not dare have you come in contact, so wicked and reckless he was."

This was what the doctor said, and into the brown eyes, now bloodshot

and dim with anguish, there came the hard, fierce look, before which

Alice Johnson once had shuddered, when Adah Hastings said:

"I should hate him! Yes, I should hate him!"

And in that dark hour of agony Adah felt that she did hate him. She knew

now that what she before would not believe was true. He had not made her

a lawful wife, else he had never dared to take another.

She did not hear him now, for with that prayer, all consciousness

forsook her, and she lay on her face insensible, while at the very last

he did confess to Anna that Lily was his wife. He did not say unlawfully

so. He could not tell her that. He said:

"I married her privately. I would bring her back if I could, but I

cannot, and I shall marry 'Lina."

"But," and Anna grasped his hand nervously. "I thought you told me once,

that you won her love, and then, when mother's harsh letters came, left

her without a word. Was that story false?"

The doctor was wading out in deep water, and in desperation he added

lie to lie, saying:

"Yes, that was false. I tell you I married her, and she died. Was I to

blame for that?"

"No, no. I'd far rather it were so. I respect you more than if you had

left her. I am glad, not that she died, but that you are not so bad as I

feared. Sweet Lily," and Anna's tears flowed fast.

There was a knock at the door, and Jim appeared, inquiring if the doctor

would have the carriage brought around. It was nearly time to go, and

with the whispered words to Anna, "I have told you what no one else must

ever know," the doctor descended with his sister to the parlor, where

his mother was waiting for him. The opening and shutting of the door

caused a draught of air, which, falling on the fainting Adah, restored

her to consciousness, and struggling to her feet, she tried to think

what it was that had happened.

"Oh, George! George!" she gasped. "You are worse than I believed. You

have made me an outcast, and Willie--"

George was a greater villain than she had imagined a man could be, and

again her white lips essayed to curse him, but the rash act was stayed

by the low words whispered in her ear, "Forgive as we would be

forgiven."

"If it were not for Willie, I might, but, oh! my boy, my boy disgraced,"

was the rebellious spirit's answer, when again the voice whispered, "And

who art thou to contend against thy God? Know you not that I am the

Father of the fatherless?"

There were tears now in Adah's eyes, the first which she had shed.

"I'll try," she murmured, "try to forgive the wrong, but the strength

must all be Thine," and then, though there came no sound or motion, her

heart went out in agonizing prayer, that she might forgive even as she

hoped to be forgiven.

"God tell me what to do with Willie?" she sobbed, starting suddenly as

the answer to her prayer seemed to come at once. "Oh, can I do that?"

she moaned; "can I leave him here?"

At first her whole soul recoiled from it, but when she remembered Anna,

and how much she loved the child, her feelings began to change. Anna

would love him more when she knew he was poor Lily's and her own

brother's. She would be kind to him for his father's sake, and for the

sake of the girl she had professed to like. Mrs. Richards, too, would

not cast him off. She thought too much of the Richards' blood, and there

was surely enough in Willie's veins to wipe out all taint of hers.

Willie should be bequeathed to Anna. It would break her heart to leave

him, were it not already broken, but it was better so. It would be

better in the end. He would forget her in time, forget the girlish woman

he had called mamma, unless sweet Anna told him of her, as perhaps she

might. Dear Anna, how Adah longed to fold her arms about her once and

call her sister, but she must not. It might not be well received, for

Anna had some pride, as her waiting maid had learned.

"A waiting maid!" Adah repeated the name, smiling bitterly as she

thought. "A waiting maid in his own home! Who would have dreamed that I

should ever come to this, when he painted the future so grandly?"

Then there came over her the wild, yearning desire to see his face once

more, to know if he had changed, and why couldn't she? They supposed her

gone to the office, and she would go there now, taking the depot on the

way.

* * * * *

Apart in the ladies' room at Snowdon depot, a veiled figure sat--Dr.

Richards' deserted wife--waiting for him, waiting to look on his face

once more ere she fled she knew not whither. He came at last, Jim's

voice speaking to his horses heralding his approach.

The group of rough-looking men gathered about the office did not suit

his mood, and so he came on to the ladies' apartment, just as Adah knew

he would. Pausing for a moment on the threshold, he looked hastily in,

his glance falling upon the veiled figure sitting there so lonely and

motionless. She did not care for him, she would not object to his

presence, so he came nearer to the stove, poising his patent leathers

upon the hearth, thrusting both hands into his pockets, and even humming

to himself snatches of a song, which Lily used to sing up the three

flights of stairs in that New York boarding house.

Poor Adah! How white and cold she grew, listening to that air, and

gazing upon the face she had loved so well. It was changed since the

night when with his kiss warm on her lips he left her forever, changed,

and for the worse. There was a harder, a more reckless, determined

expression there, a look which better than words could have done, told

that self alone was the god he worshiped.

Once, as he walked up and down the room, passing so near to her that she

might have touched him with her hand, she felt an almost irresistible

desire to thrust her thick brown veil aside, and confronting him to his

face, claim from him what she had a right to claim, his name and a

position as his wife--only for Willie's sake, however; for herself she

did not wish it.

It was a relief when at last the roll of the cars was heard, and

buttoning his coat still closer around him, he turned toward the door,

half looking back to see if the veiled figure too had risen. It had, and

was standing close beside him, its outside garments sweeping his as the

crowd increased, pressing her nearer to him, but Adah passed back into

the ladies' room, and opening the rear door was out in the street again

almost before the train had left the station. George was gone--lost to

her forever! and with a piteous moan for her ruined life, Adah kept on

her way till the post office was reached.

There were four letters in the box--one for Mrs. Richards, from an

absent brother; one for Eudora, from Lottie Gardner; one for Asenath,

from an old friend, and at the bottom, last of all, one for Annie

Richards, faced with black, and bearing the initial "M." upon the seal

of wax.

Adah saw all this, but it conveyed no meaning to her mind except a vague

remembrance that at some time or other, very, very long years it seemed,

Anna had bidden her keep from her mother any letter directed to herself

in a mourning envelope. Adah retained just sense enough to do this, and

separating the letter from the others, thrust it into her pocket, and

then took her way back to Terrace Hill.

Willie was asleep; and as Pamelia, who brought him up, had thoughtfully

undressed and placed him in bed, there was nothing for Adah to do but

think. She should go away, of course; she could not stay there longer;

but how should she tell them why she went, and who would be her medium

for communication?

"Anna, of course," she whispered; and lighting her little lamp, she sat

down to write the letter which would tell Anna Richards who was the

waiting maid to whom she had been so kind.

"Dear Anna," she wrote. "Forgive me for calling you so this once, for

indeed I cannot help it. You have been so kind to me that if my heart

could ache, it would ache terribly at leaving you and knowing it was

forever. I am going away from you, Anna; and when, in the morning, you

wait for me to come as usual, I shall not be here, I could not stay and

meet your brother when he returns. Oh, Anna, Anna, how shall I begin to

tell you what I know will grieve and shock your pure nature so

dreadfully?

"Anna!--I love to call you Anna now, for you seem, near to me; and

believe me, while I write this to you, I am conscious of no feeling of

inferiority to any one bearing your proud name. I am, or should have

been, your equal, your sister; and Willie!--oh, my boy, when I think of

him, the feeling comes and I almost seem to be going mad!

"Cannot you guess?--don't you know now who I am? God forgive your

brother, as I asked him to do, kneeling there by the very chair where he

sat an hour since, talking to you of Lily. I heard him, and the sound of

his voice took power and strength away. I could not move to let you know

I was there, for I was, and I lay upon the floor till consciousness

forsook me; and then, when I awoke again, you both were gone.

"I went to the depot, I saw him in his face to make assurance sure, and

Anna, I--oh, I don't know what I am. The world would not call me a wife,

though I believed I was; but they cannot deal thus cruelly by Willie, or

wash from his veins his father's blood, for I--I, who write this, I who

have been a servant in the house where I should have been the mistress,

am Lily--wronged, deserted Lily--and Willie is your brother's child! His

father's look is in his face. I see it there so plainly now, and know

why that boy portrait of your brother has puzzled me so much. But when I

came here I had no suspicion, for he won me, not as a Richards--George

Hastings, that was the name by which I knew him, and I was Adah Gordon.

If you do not believe me, ask him when he comes back if ever in his

wanderings he met with Adah Gordon, or her guardian, Mr. Monroe. Ask if

he was ever present at a marriage where this same Adah gave her heart to

one for whom she would then have lost her life, erring in that she loved

the gift more than the giver; but God punished idolatry, and He has

punished me, so sorely, oh so sorely; that sometimes my fainting soul

cries out, ''Tis more than I can bear,'"

Then followed more particulars so that there should be no doubt, and

then the half-crazed Adah took up the theme nearest to her heart, her

boy, her beautiful Willie. She could not take him with her. She knew not

where she was going, and Willie must not suffer. Would Anna take the

child?

"I do not ask that the new bride should ever call him hers," she wrote;

"I'd rather she would not. I ask that you should give him a mother's

care, and if his father will sometimes speak kindly to him for the sake

of the older time when he did love the mother, tell him--Willie's

father, I mean--tell him, oh I know not what to bid you tell him, except

that I forgive him, though at first it was so hard, and the words

refused to come; I trusted him so much, loved him so much, and until I

had it from his own lips, believed I was his wife. But that cured me;

that killed the love, if any still existed, and now, if I could, I would

not be his, unless it were for Willie's sake.

"And now farewell. God deal with you, dear Anna, as you deal with my

boy."

Calmly, steadily, Adah folded up the missive, and laying it with the

mourning envelope, busied herself next in making the necessary

preparations for her flight. Anna had been liberal with her in point of

wages, paying her every week, and paying more than at first agreed upon;

and as she had scarcely spent a penny during her three months' sojourn

at Terrace Hill, she had, including what Alice had given to her, nearly

forty dollars. She was trying so hard to make it a hundred, and so send

it to Hugh some day; but she needed it most herself, and she placed it

carefully in her little purse, sighing over the golden coin which Anna

had paid her last, little dreaming for what purpose it would be used.

She would not change her dress until Anna had retired, as that might

excite suspicion; so with the same rigid apathy of manner she sat down

by Willie's side and waited till Anna was heard moving in her room. The

lamp was burning dimly on the bureau, and so Anna failed to see the

frightful expression of Adah's face, as she performed her accustomed

duties, brushing Anna's hair, and letting her hands linger caressingly

amid the locks she might never touch again.

It did strike Anna that something was the matter; for when Adah spoke to

her, the voice was husky and unnatural. Still, she paid no attention

until the chapter was read as usual and "Our Father" said; then, as Adah

lingered a moment, still kneeling by the bed, she laid her soft hand on

the young head, and asked, kindly, "if it ached."

"No, not my head, not my head," and Adah continued impetuously; "Anna,

tell me, have I pleased you?--do you like me? would you, could you love

me if I were your equal--love me as I do you?"

Anna noticed that the "Miss" was dropped from her name, that her maid

was treating her more familiarly than she had ever done before; and for

an instant a flush showed on her cheek, for pride was Anna's besetting

sin, the one from which she daily prayed to be delivered. There was an

inward struggle, a momentary conflict, such as every Christian warrior

has felt at times, and then the flush was gone from the white cheek, and

her hand still lay on Adah's head, as she replied: "I do not understand

why you question me thus, but I will answer just the same. I do like you

very much, and you have always seemed to me much like an equal. I could

hardly do without you now."

"And Willie? If I should die, or anything happen to me, would you care

for Willie?"

There was something very earnest in Adah's tone as she pleaded for her

boy, and had Anna been at all suspicious, she must have guessed there

was something wrong. As it was, she merely thought Adah tired and

nervous. She had been thinking, perhaps, of the deserted, and she

smoothed her hair pityingly as she replied: "Of course I'd care for

Willie. He has won a large place in my heart."

"Bless you for that. It has made me very happy," Adah whispered, arising

to her feet and adding: "You may think me bold, but I must kiss you

once--only once--for it will be pleasant to remember that I kissed Anna

Richards."

There was nothing cringing or even pleading in the tone. Adah seemed to

ask it as her right, and ere Anna could answer she had pressed one

burning kiss upon the smooth, white forehead which a menial's lips had

never touched before, and was gone from the room.

"Was she crazy, or what was it that ailed her?" Anna asked herself,

wondering more and more, the more she thought of the strange conduct,

and lying awake long after the usual hour for sleep.

But wakeful as she was, there was one who kept the vigils with her,

knowing exactly when she fell away at last into a slumber all the

deeper for the restlessness which had preceded it. Anna slept very

soundly as Adah knew she would, and when toward morning a light footstep

glided across her threshold she did not hear it. The bolt was drawn, the

key was turned, and just as the clock struck three, Adah stood outside

the yard, leaning on the gate and gazing back at the huge building

looming up so dark and grand beneath the starry sky. One more prayer for

Willie and the mother-auntie to whose care she had left him, one more

straining glance at the window of the little room where he lay sleeping,

and she resolutely turned away, nor stopped again until the Danville

depot was reached the station where in less than five minutes after her

arrival the night express stood for an instant, and then went thundering

on, bearing with it another passenger, bound for--she knew not, cared

not whither.

Bad Hugh · 第 35 / 49 章