_Anna Wenbourne St. Ives to Louisa Clifton_
_London, Grosvenor Street_
What strange perversity of accidents is it, Louisa, that has made me
most deeply indebted to that man, above all others on the face of the
earth, who thinks I have treated him unjustly? We are under fresh
obligations, nay in all probability we again owe our lives to Frank
Henley.
We left Paris on Sunday last; and, after waiting a day and a night for
a fair wind at Calais, we embarked on board the packet-boat; the wind
still continuing unfavourable, though it had changed a little for the
better. The channel was very rough, and the water ran high, when we
went on board. Sir Arthur would willingly have retreated; but Clifton
was too impatient, and prevailed on him to venture.
Before we had reached the middle of the channel, Laura, Sir Arthur, and
soon afterward I, were very sea-sick. It is a most disagreeable
sensation when violent, and would certainly be more effectual in
rendering a coward fearless of death than the dying sentiments of
Seneca, or Socrates himself.
The wind increased, and the captain laboured several hours, but in
vain, to make the port of Dover. He at last told us we were too late
for the tide, and that the current set against us, and must drive us
down to Deal. We proceeded accordingly, and it was dark before we came
within sight of the town of Deal; where the captain, in the sea phrase,
was obliged to come to an anchor.
The Deal boatmen, who are always on the watch, and are the most noted
as we are told on the whole coast for their extortion, soon came up to
the ship, inviting us to be put on shore, but refusing to take us for
less than ten guineas. Frank and Sir Arthur were desirous that we
should not be imposed upon; but Clifton pleaded my sea sickness, and
would not listen to any proposal of delay. He is very peremptory, when
his passions are excited; and especially when he conceives, as he then
did, that reason is on his side. There were three boats; but they had
agreed among themselves, and two of them kept aloof. This we are told
is their common practice, that they may not spoil their market by
competitorship.
We were not above a mile from shore: Clifton however agreed to their
extravagant demand, and we went into the boat.
We had not been there many minutes before we perceived that the five
boatmen, who managed it, were all in liquor, especially he who seemed
to be their head man; and that we were much more at the mercy of winds
and waves, in our present than in our former situation. Clifton and
Frank endeavoured to make them attentive, by reproving them; and
probably did some good; though the answers they received, in the rugged
vulgar idiom of the sea, were not very conciliatory. We were much
tossed by the roughness of the water, but made however toward the
shore, though evidently in an awkward and dangerous way.
Most part of the beach, at Deal, is excessively steep; and, when the
weather is stormy, the waves break against it very abruptly, and
dangerously to boats which are managed by men that are either ignorant
or have drunken away their senses. When the boat approached the beach,
the man at the helm, being stupid and it being dark, did not do his
duty, and the side of the boat was dashed against the beach. The shock
almost overset the boat, and it was half filled by the wave which broke
over it. The water is always a fickle and perilous element; but in an
agitated sea, when the winds howl and the waves roar, foam, dash,
retreat, and return with additional threats and raging, it is then
truly terrific! I shall never forget that night! I think on it even now
with horror! One of those poor drunken creatures, Louisa, was in an
instant washed overboard and lost; almost without a cry; not heard, not
aided, scarcely remarked; no attempt made to save him, for all attempt
was absolutely impossible: we were within a few yards of land, yet were
ourselves almost certain of perishing. The remaining men were little
better than helpless; for it was the most active of them who was thus
miserably drowned!--Indeed, Louisa, it was dreadful!
The reflux of the water was in half a minute likely to be equally
violent. Frank, whose presence of mind never forsakes him, saw what the
nature of our danger was; and, shaking off poor Laura, who clung round
him, begging of him for God's sake to save her precious life, he flew
to the helm, turned the head of the boat in its proper direction, and
called with that imperious kind of voice which on such occasions
enforces obedience, for somebody to come to the helm. Clifton was there
in an instant. Keep it, said Frank, in this position.
Every motion was necessarily rapid. Frank was immediately out of the
boat, and almost up to the shoulders in the sea. He caught hold of the
side of the boat, retreated a step or two, set his feet against the
steep beach, and steadied it, to resist the returning wave. It had no
sooner retreated than he called to me, took me in his arms, and in a
moment I found myself in safety on shore!
He returned and brought my father next!
Poor Laura shrieked, with fear and impatience! She was the third whom
he landed.
He then ordered the boatmen to take care of themselves; and, drunk and
refractory though they were, they did not neglect to obey the mandate.
After which Clifton, leaving the helm, jumped into the water, the
servants having gone before, and we all found ourselves safe, after
some of us had concluded we were lost beyond redemption.
Our peril appears to have been wholly owing to the inebriety of the
boatmen; for, had they been able to do their duty, there would have
been none, or certainly very little: and it was averted by the active
and penetrating mind of Frank, which seems as if it were most accurate
and determined, in its conclusions and expedients, in proportion to the
greatness of the danger, when common minds would be wholly confused and
impotent.
Clifton, though he did not so immediately perceive what was best to be
done, saw the propriety of it when doing, and immediately assented, and
aided, by keeping the boat in the position Frank directed, almost as
essentially as his co-adjutor. I am more and more convinced it is
accident only that has kept him from possessing one of the most
enlarged of human understandings. But I must likewise allow that this
said accident has rendered him petulant, impatient of contradiction,
too precipitate to be always aware of mistake, and too positive to be
easily governed. But these are habitual errors, which time and care
will cure.
I must add too that his affection for me displays itself in a thousand
various forms. He is apparently never satisfied, except when it is
exercised to give or procure me pleasure. I know not whether the
passion, which infuses itself into all his words and actions that
relate to me, ought to inspire all that sympathetic sensibility which
he intends; but I own it sometimes alarms me. His ardour is
astonishing. He seems to wish, and even to design, to make it
irresistible. Yet it is mingled with such excess of tenderness that I
have half lost the power of repressing it.
But I must not, no, I will not, stand in awe of his impetuosity. Ardour
is a noble quality, and my study shall be how to turn it to his
advantage. The more I look round me the more I perceive that fear
enfeebles, withers, and consumes the powers of mind. Those who would
nobly do must nobly dare. Rash people, perhaps, are those who feel the
truth of this principle so strongly that they forget it is necessary
not only to dare, but to discover the best method of daring.
Clifton now avoids argument, and appears systematically determined to
be of my opinion; or rather to say as I say. The only opposition he
affords is now and then a witty, sarcastic, or humorous reply. But he
is generally successful in his continual attempts to give the
conversation a new turn, when his favourite opinions are opposed: for I
do not think it wise to obtrude too many painful contradictions upon
him at a time. Truth must be progressive. Like a flash of lightning, it
stuns or kills by excess.
Clifton will not long suffer me to rest, now we are returned; and
consequently my dear Louisa may soon expect another letter from her
most affectionate.