_Abimelech Henley to Sir Arthur St. Ives_
_Wenbourne-Hill_
Most onnurable Sir, my ever onnurd Master,
For certainly your noble onnur knows best. And thof I have
paradventerd, now and tan, umbelly to speak my foolish thofts, and
haply may again a paradventer, when your most exceptionable onnur shall
glorify me with a hearing, in sitch and sitch like cramp cases and
queerums as this here; yet take me ritely, your noble onnur, it is
always and evermore with every think of that there umbel and very
submissive obedient kind.
My younk Lady Missee is as elegunt a my Lady younk Missee as any in the
three kink's kinkdums. A who can gain say it? She is the flour of the
flock, I must a say that. The whole country says it. For why, as
aforesaid, a who can gain say it? A tell me that! Always a savin and
exceptin your noble onnur, as in rite and duty boundin. What, your most
gracious onnur, a hannot I had the glory and the magnifisunce to dangle
her in my arms, before she was a three months old? A hannot I a known
her from the hour of her birth? Nay, as a I may say, afore her blessed
peepers a twinkled the glory of everlastin of infinit mercifool
commiseration and sunshine? A didn't I bob her here, and bob her there;
a up and a down, aback and afore and about, with a sweet gracious a
krow and a kiss for honest poor Aby, as your onnur and your onnurable
Madam, my Lady, ever gracious to me a poor sinner used then to call me?
Not but those times are a passt. But, a savin and exceptin your noble
onnur, that's a nether here nor there. I may hold up my head as well as
another. A why not? When so be as a man has no money, why then, a savin
and exceptin your onnur's reverence, a's but a poor dog. But when so be
as a man as a got the rhino, why then a may begin to hold up his head.
A why not? Always a savin and exceptin your noble onnur, as aforesaid.
Your noble onnur knows that I'm a be apt to let my tongue mag a little,
when my wits be a set a gaddin; and whereupon the case is as witch your
noble onnur was pleased to sifflicate me upon, in your last rite
onnurable and mercifool letter. For why? A man's son as I may say is
himself; and twenty thousand pounds, thof it be not a penny too much,
is somethink. For witch the blessin and glory of goodness and praise be
with the donors. Nevertheless that there will likewise be the
wherewithalls, mayhap, notwithstandin, when my head comes to be laid
low. Thof if so be I cannot but say that a man would rather a not think
of that there, if a could help it. A savin and exceptin that the
blessin and glory and power and praise of the saints, and the martyrs,
and the profits, and the cherubims and serafims, and the amen
allelujahs, might a be summut to a dyin soul; when a has had, god be
mercifool unto us, time for repentance, and the washin away of the sins
of this wickedness world, by good deeds, and charity, and mercy, and
lovin kindness unto all men; when the poor miserable sinner, with
groans, and tears, and eternal terrifyins of the flamin prince Lucifer
Belzebub of darkness everlastin is at last obliged to take leave of the
soul from the body. Ah, a well a day! Man is a reprobation race! A's a
given over to sin, and to shame, and to backslidins, and to the slough
of despond, and to the valley of the shaddow of death, and if a has
not, miserable sinner, a time to repent, of a witch be evermore granted
unto us all, world without end. Amen! Amen!
Ah, dear a me, what have I a bin talkin to your most gracious onnur? I
was a meant to tell your noble onnur that the twenty thousand pounds
mayhap might a be forth cummin; on proper occasions, and certificates,
and securities, and doosoors, and perkissits; all of the witch, as my
ever onnurd master aforetime knows, there is no a doin a business
without. For why?--Money is money, and land is land; and there be
troubles, and takins, and seekins, and enquirins, and profit and loss,
and ifs and mayhaps, and all a that there; of the witch there is no a
doing without. But nevertheless I dares to say, likewise and
notwithstandin as aforesaid, that the money may be a forth cummin.
Nay and if so be the witch that I might a paradventer to advise, but
that to be sure I should not a like to have it a thoft that I should
perk and put in my oar, all agog to my betters, and moreover one of his
majesty's baronets, otherwise I should say nevertheless as aforesaid
that the younk lady is the flour of the flock; and if so be as I had
the onnurable grace and blessin to be her father, I would a give her
and a make over to her, now and evermore hereafter, all a that the law
would a let me. And a let 'em tell me, your noble onnur, who desarves
it better. What! Isn't she, as I may say, the very firmament of the
power and glory of praise? What is ivory and alablaster a parallel to
her? Let 'em a tell me that! If I wus the onnurable father of sitch
ever mercifool affability, would a not I be fain to give her gems and
rubies, and carbuncles, if I had 'em? Who should gain say me? A savin
and exceptin your ever exceptionable and noble onnur. I wouldn't a be
meant to be thoft to put in a word for meself, by no manner of account;
no, no; far be it from me; but in other partikillers, if so be that it
wus me meself, I shouldn't a grutch her kinkdums. And ast to thwartin
and knatterin and crossin the kindly sweet virginal soul, ever blessed
as she is, in love, for what truly? Your noble onnur has too much
bowels of fatherly miseration. No, no! Your noble onnur has a clencht
it; take her now she is in the humour. Whereby maidens be wayward and
fain and froward and full of skittish tricks, when they be happen to be
crossed in love. Take her in the humour your wise and alwise noble
onnur.
Whereof your onnur was a menshinnin a stagnation to be put in the spoke
of the wheel of improvements. Whereof if I might a paradventer to put
in my oar, I should say why that should be as it might a be happen.
When if as I should ever live to see the glorious day of this marriage
match rejoice the heart of Wenbourne-Hill, why then I should know how
to speak my poor thofts. For why? All would then be clear and above
board; and we should all a know who and who was together. That would be
summut! We might then a be happen to raise the wind; and the
wherewithalls might a be forth cummin.
And so, as matters and thinks is likely to turn out, to be sure I must
say that your onnur has a hit the nail on the head. Whereof as your
onnur has a ushered your commands, I shall begin to take care of the
kole, and send them there rapscallions a packin.
And as to the flickers and fleers of the neighbours, your onnurable
onnur, a leave me to humdudgin they. I'll a send their wits a
wool-gatherin. For why? Your onnurable onnur has always a had my lovin
kindness of blessins of praise, as in duty boundin. For certainly I
should be fain to praise the bridge that a carries me safe over. And
now that your onnur is a thinkin of a more of lovin kindness and
mercies, to me and mine, why a what should I say now? Why I should say
and should glorify, to all the world, that your onnur is my ever
onnured and rite most mercifool bountifool faithfool and disrespectfool
kind master; and that I be your ever rite and most trusty true honest
Aby; and every think of that there umbel and very submissive obedient
kind, as in duty boundin.
But I a bin a thinkin, your ever gracious onnur, that a behap the
kintlin may stand alooft, and a hang--, and a be adasht. And a what is
to be done then? Why then, whereupon if that your ever gracious onnur
would but be so all mercifool in goodness as to say the word, why we
should be upon sure ground, and all our quips and quandaries and
afterclaps would a be chouse clickt. I most umbelly pray and besiege
your onnur to be so mercifool as to think o' that there! Do ee, your
ever gracious onnur! I pray your onnur, doo ee! Then we should a be all
sound and safe over, and it would all a be holiday at Wenbourne-Hill! A
that would be a glorified day! The lawjus mighty, ay! It would!
Witch is all in praise and onnur of the glory and peace to come,
thanksgivin and gladness; umbelly beggin leave to super scribe me self,