My forbearance and this letter mitigated my sense of pain. Yet I am
very ill satisfied with myself. Am I so easily to be moved? 'Tis true
the scene I had just quitted was fermenting, as it were, in my veins,
and shaking my whole system.
What is worse, I am child enough to be tormented, in my own despite, by
the recollection of having received a blow! And why? In many countries,
and even in my own, among the class in which I was born, the stigma is
none, or trifling--Stigma? Absurd!--Cowardice!--Murder!--If vanity were
ever becoming, I have perhaps more reason to be vain, considering the
danger to which I had exposed myself, of this than of any act of my
life.
Well, well, Oliver--I hope these agitations are over; and that from
this time thou wilt begin to think better of me.
I communicate my whole thoughts to thee. If the experiments made upon
my mind can be of any use to thine, my letters will then answer the
best of the purposes for which they are written.