_Anna Wenbourne St. Ives to Louisa Clifton_
_Chateau de Villebrun_
My alarms, Louisa, increase; and with them my anxious wishes for an
eclaircissement with Frank. Clifton has too strongly imbibed high but
false notions of honour and revenge. His quick, apt, and versatile
talents are indubitable. He wants nothing but the power to curb and
regulate his passions, to render him all that his generous and
excellent sister could desire. But at present his sensibility is too
great. He scarcely can brook the slightest tokens of disapprobation. He
is rather too firmly persuaded that he deserves applause, and
admiration; and that reproof he scarcely can deserve: or, if he did, to
submit to it he imagines would be dishonourable.
Frank and he behave more than usually cool to each other: I know not
why, unless it has been occasioned by an incident which happened
yesterday. Clifton has bought an English hunter, from one of his
countrymen at Paris, which he was exhibiting to his French friends,
whose horsemanship is very different from ours, and who were surprised
to see him ride so fearlessly over gates and other impediments. They
continued their airing in the park of Villebrun, and turned round to a
kind of haha, which was both deep and wide, and about half full of
water, by the side of which they saw a party of ladies standing, and me
among the rest. Frank was with us.
One of the gentlemen asked whether the horse could leap over the haha:
to which Clifton made no answer, but immediately clapped spurs to his
hunter, and over he flew. The whole company, gentlemen and ladies,
broke out into exclamations of surprise; and Clifton turned his horse's
head round, and regained his former place.
While they were wondering, Frank Henley happened to make if a matter of
doubt whether a man or a horse could leap the farthest; and Clifton,
continually in the habit of contending with Frank, said it was
ridiculous to start such an argument, unless he would first shew that
he himself could make the same leap. Frank, piqued in his turn, retired
a few yards; and, without pulling off his coat or deigning to leap, he
made a short run and a hop and sprung over.
You may imagine that the kind and good folks, who love to be
astonished, and still more to tell the greatness of their astonishment,
were manifold in their interjections. Frank, in order to rejoin the
company, was obliged a second time to cross the haha; which he did with
the same safety and truly amazing agility as he had done before.
Clifton, indulging his wrong habits, though I have no doubt admiring
Frank as much as the rest, told him in a kind of sarcastic banter that,
though he could not prove the equality of mankind, he had at least
proved himself equal to a horse. To which Frank replied he was
mistaken; for that he had shewn himself equal to the horse and his
rider.
This answer I fear dwells upon the mind of Clifton; and I scarcely
myself can tell whether it were or were not worthy of Frank. How can
Clifton be wilfully blind to such courage, rectitude of heart,
understanding and genius?
The stern unrelenting fortitude of Frank, in the cause of justice, and
some symptoms of violence in the impetuous Clifton, have inspired me
with apprehensions; and have induced me to behave with more reserve and
coldness to Frank than I ever before assumed.
Yet, Louisa, my heart is wrung to see the effect it produces. He has a
mind of such discriminating power, such magnanimity, that an injury to
it is a deep, a double sin; and every look, every action testify that
he thinks himself injured, by the distance with which I behave. Oh
that he himself might be impelled to begin the subject with which my
mind is labouring!
This is wrong; I am ashamed of my own cowardice. Yet would there not be
something terrifying in a formal appointment, to tell him what it seems
must be told?--Yes, Louisa, must--And is there not danger he should
think me severe; nay unjust?--Would it were over!--I hope he will not
think so of me!--It must be done!--Must!--Must!--
Indeed, Louisa, I could be a very woman--But I will not!--No, no!--It
is passed--I have put my handkerchief to my eyes and it is gone--I have
repressed an obstinate heaving of the heart--
Let her blame me, if I deserve it, but my Louisa must see me as I
am--Yet I will conquer--Be sure I will--But I must not sing his song
any more!