_Louisa Clifton to Anna Wenbourne St. Ives_
_Rose-Bank_
I am excessively angry with myself, my dear Anna. I have not treated
you with the open confidence which you deserve, because I have had
improper fears of you. I have doubted lest an excess of friendship and
generosity should lead you into mistake, and induce you to think well
of my brother rather for my sake than for his own. But the more I
reflect the more I am convinced that duplicity never can be virtue.
Your last letter has brought me to a sense of this. The noble sincerity
with which you immediately accused yourself, for having practised an
artifice [which I, like you, do not think was innocent, because
artifice cannot be innocent] has taught me how I ought to act; and Sir
Arthur's caprice is an additional incitement.
I have for some time known that it has been very much desired by my
mamma to see you and Coke Clifton united. She mentioned her wish to Sir
Arthur, and he seemed pleased with the idea. She did me the honour to
consult me; and I opposed precipitate proceedings, and strenuously
argued that all such events ought to take their natural course.
This was the origin of your present journey to Paris; and I
consequently was enjoined secrecy, of the propriety of which I doubted
at the moment. I am now convinced that secrets are always either
foolish or pernicious things, and that there ought to be none.
The fickleness of Sir Arthur however, relative to this journey, both
surprises and pains me. It shews his weakness as well as the power of
his favourite, Abimelech, to be greater than even I imagined; and my
former thoughts were not very favourable. After having concerted this
plan with my mamma, and after preparing and proceeding a part of the
way, I can scarcely imagine what excuse he would have made to her.
His mentioning my brother to you likewise surprised me. In conversing
with my mamma, I had told her that, if such an event were to take
place, it were desirable that you and my brother should become
acquainted, before any hint or proposal ought to be made to you. I at
present believe this to have been wrong and weak advice; but it
prevailed, and the arrangement was that my mamma should write to Coke
Clifton, to direct his route through Paris; that he should be there at
a fixed time, to transact some pretended business for her; that Sir
Arthur and you should make a journey thither on a party of pleasure,
which we all knew would be agreeable to you; and that you and my
brother should meet as if by accident. But it appears that Sir Arthur,
when he has any favourite project in view, can scarcely forbear being
communicative, not from principle but from incontinence.
With respect to my brother, having told you all that has passed, I have
only to add, it is my earnest advice that you should be careful to put
no deception on yourself, but to see him as he is. His being the
brother of your friend cannot give him dignity of mind, if he have it
not already. Were I a thousand times his sister, I could not wish him
another wife so deserving as my Anna. But sister shall be no motive
with me to make me desirous of seeing persons united whose sentiments
and souls may be dissimilar. Had I not so much confidence in your
discernment, and truth to yourself, I should not be without uneasiness.
My opinion is that the parties should themselves reciprocally discover
those qualities which ought mutually to fit them for the friendship of
marriage. Is not that the very phrase, Anna; the _friendship of
marriage_? Surely, if it be not friendship, according to the best and
highest sense in which that word is used, marriage cannot but be
something faulty and vicious.
I know how readily you will forgive the wrong I have done you by this
concealment; because you will perceive I acted from well meant but
mistaken sentiments. I have told my mamma my present thoughts, and have
shewed her all the former part of this letter, which she approves. Her
affection for me makes her delight in every effort of my mind to rise
superior to the prejudices that bring misery into the world; and I
often fear lest this affection should deprive her of that force, and
acumen, which in other instances would be ready to detect error,
whenever it should make its appearance.
I need not tell my Anna how tenderly she joins with me, in wishing her
a safe and pleasant journey. All other matters she entirely commits to
my Anna's penetration, and discretion.
Adieu.