A TESTING TIME
Two years went by, each day filled for Phebe, except the Sundays, with
housework, care of the child, and looking after the business. From
Monday till Saturday she hardly ever crossed the outer doorstep. "It
will not be always like this," she said to her sister, who remonstrated
with her. "When Ralph has got the business well established he will be
able to afford more help."
She often smiled somewhat bitterly to herself over the old dream of
helping Ralph in his high endeavours to influence the souls of his
fellows, and how she was to accompany him when he went forth to deliver
his messages. "Never mind," she would say to herself. "I sell the people
tea instead." She often called to mind the memorial-card of "Sweet
Liberty," and saw how clearly it had proved prophetic of something she
had truly lost. Long ago she guessed who the sender was, for she had
found out what a keen reader of character Neighbour Bessie was, and what
keen intuitive powers she possessed. Phebe never referred to the card,
but she once said to Bessie, "I think you ought to be called 'Prophet
Bessie.'"
"If you spell that word 'p-r-o-f-i-t,'" replied Bessie, "mother would
say you were out of your reckoning entirely. She would say it would be
nearer the truth to call me 'Dead-loss Bessie.'"
"Nay, nay, that would never do, but 'dear-loved Bessie' might." The girl
looked at her with hungry eyes, but did not answer.
To be so shut in, so entirely engrossed with affairs purely selfish,
would to an ordinary woman have been both narrowing and depressing. "An
old woman once lived in the Isle of Wight who had never seen the sea,
and there are women living in Swiss valleys who have never watched a
sunset. How little such women can know of what the world is like! How
narrow their sympathies, and how small their ideas! I am something like
them," thought Phebe, "but I'll do my best to get a wider outlook,
somehow." So by her chair in a corner of the shop parlour you might
always find some paper, magazine, or book she was interested in. During
the early months of their marriage Ralph had read aloud to her in the
evenings, or she to him, but lately he was far too much engrossed in
other things.
No one guessed the bitter sorrow Phebe suffered in thus burying her
dreams. Alas, for the graves that are not found where willows grow
within cemetery gates! for the flowerless graves we often weep over in
our daily life! Yet deep in Phebe's heart was the hope that from this
grave would blossom, some sunny morn, a husband's love such as she had
dreamt of in her girlhood dreams. It seemed as if Ralph's love was
sleeping, but surely some day it would waken. Oh, that God would teach
her how to waken it!
By this time Victoria Mary had a companion in the person of a little
brother. "I should like him to be called Ralph," said Phebe.
"I don't care for children to be made gravestones of," replied her
husband. "You certainly shall choose one name and I the other, and you
can choose anything you like but Ralph."
The young arrival a few days later was described on his
birth-certificate as "John Washington."
These two young folks were ever afterwards known as "Queenie" and
"Jack." What a lot of bother it would save if parents named their
children what they intend afterwards to call them!
"Phebe," said Ralph one evening, "just put your book down and talk to
me."
"That will be nice," said Phebe, with a choke in her voice, brought
there by a sudden hope.
"Wouldn't you like to travel?"
"I should rather think I would."
"Well then, don't you think the time has come when we might sell this
business and start somewhere else? I should dearly like to go to
Australia. Will you consent?"
"If you will only wait till father is taken home, I will willingly go
wherever you choose."
"But why should we wait till then? The Bible says 'a man shall leave his
father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife.'"
"Yes," said Phebe, trying to laugh, "but it does not say a woman shall
leave her father and cleave unto her husband." Then, more seriously, "Do
you think it is right for marriage to break every family tie? Don't you
think a child has duties to its parents, however old it may become?
Think how lovingly Jesus thought of His mother, providing as far as
possible against her feeling lonely."
"If you are going to preach, I'm done."
"I am not preaching, but I do always like to see if there is anything in
the life of Jesus that fits in with my life, so that it will guide me."
"Well, I cannot 'fit in' with this humdrum life much longer, so I tell
you that plainly, and I don't mean to, either. If God calls you to stay
here, God calls me to go elsewhere; so how can you reconcile those two
things?"
"But why do you think God calls you elsewhere?"
"I am not going to be cross-examined like a prisoner," he replied,
almost fiercely, and walked away. So the conference came to an end.
About two months afterwards Phebe received a note one dinner-time
purporting to come from her sister, saying she wanted to see her at
once. As the note was not in her sister's handwriting, and was so
strangely worded, she was rather puzzled.
"Who has brought the note?" she inquired of the shopman.
"Some boy, but he has gone now."
"It is strange," thought Phebe; "father must be worse, and she had not
time to write herself; yet that is not at all like her."
As quickly as possible Phebe hurried away, to find on her arrival her
sister had not sent for her. "It must have been a trick of your
neighbour, Bessie, to get you out for a change." And Phebe, thinking
that idea was quite likely to be correct, made herself comfortable for
the afternoon, knowing that Janie would be sure to keep faithful guard
over the children.
It was quite dark when she arrived home, for autumn was fast merging
into winter. Ralph was out, but that was no uncommon occurrence. The
evening was a very busy one, as the afternoon leisure had caused work to
accumulate. When ten o'clock came, and the shopmen had both gone up to
their bedroom, and Janie was preparing to retire also, Phebe began to
think it was strange Ralph was so late. Going out on to the front
pavement she gazed anxiously up and down the road. Very few people were
about, for it was anything but a pleasant night for a stroll--true the
moon was shining, but hurrying dark clouds were constantly passing in
front of it, and a sighing wind seemed to prophesy the near approach of
bad weather.
At eleven o'clock she went out again: the clouds had grown larger, the
intervals of moonlight were briefer. The wind sighed in a more mournful
tone than before, and Phebe shivered, but more through apprehension than
cold.
At twelve o'clock she was on the watch again. The night was quite dark.
"He must have missed the last train," she said to herself. "I will go to
bed now."
She must have slept for about two hours when she woke up with a sudden
start. "Could there be any connection between that note and her
husband's absence?"--that was the haunting question with which her mind
was filled. "But how could there be?" she reasoned with herself. Sleep
was wooed again, but all in vain. Rising and getting a light, she opened
a drawer where Ralph kept some of his clothes. It was empty. Another
drawer was opened; it also was empty. Then she looked in the cupboard,
where his travelling-bag was kept; it was gone.
She sat down to think: then, with startling suddenness, his words came
to her mind, "I cannot fit in to this humdrum life much longer."
For the next hour it seemed as if she was utterly alone. It was
impossible even to think. She was fast becoming petrified, her very
blood was freezing, when her baby woke up crying--and that cry saved
her! She picked the baby up and strained it passionately to her, the hot
tears raining on its little head. The child soon nestled to sleep again
in its mother's arms; and then, still grasping her little one, she knelt
down to pray. "O Jesus, take care of Ralph! O Jesus, take care of me and
my little ones!" That was all she could say. After a moment or so of
waiting, as though listening for the answer, she prayed again, and then
came the sweet feeling of God's arms being round her, and she said, in a
whisper to herself, "He will! He will!"
She had been out in a dark wild storm, but had found the hiding-place.
The next morning, while sending off some telegrams to places where she
thought she could make inquiries without causing alarm, her sister
called at the chemist's next door for some medicine for her father, and
seeing Bessie just near the parlour-door, thought she would have it out
with her.
"Ah! I have found you out this time, young lady."
"I don't know what you mean."
"What has she been up to now?" asked her mother, who happened to be
near.
"Oh, nothing to be cross about," she hurried to explain, fearing lest
she should get the girl into trouble. "Indeed, it was a little act of
kindness she did."
"I really don't know what you mean," said Bessie. "I know I've been up
to no tricks, for I've been as good this last week as they're made. It's
almost been the death of me, I've been so--"
"But what about that note you sent my sister yesterday?"
"Never sent her one."
"Never sent her one!"
"No, never wrote her, nor saw her all yesterday."
"Well, that is very strange."
"What note was it?" asked Mrs. Marchant.
"A note saying her sister wanted very much to see her. Of course I did;
I always do, so it was not untrue; but I did not send it. We thought
Bessie sent it as a kind little plan to get her out a bit."
"No, I know nothing about it."
Just then Janie came in on an errand, and seeing her mistress's sister,
came up hurriedly to her, saying, "Please come in; mistress is looking
so bad, and master's not been home all night."
"There!" exclaimed Bessie, as Phebe's sister hurried away, "you may
depend that handsome man next door sent that note himself."
"Why should you think that? You are so quick to judge people, and think
yourself so mighty clever over it," said Mrs. Marchant.
Instead of the usual saucy answer, Bessie was silent. Was she learning
the same lesson Phebe had been learning?