The great event happened in his thirty-fourth year. You may picture
him as a solitary, scholarly figure living in the little Tudor house,
with its mullioned windows, set in the midst of an old-world garden
bright with stocks and phlox and hollyhocks and great pink roses, its
southern wall generously glowing with purple plums. Indoors, the house
was somewhat dark. The casement window of the main living-room was
small and overshadowed by the heavy ivy outside. The furniture, of
plain dark oak, mainly consisted of bookcases, in which were ranged the
solemn, leather-covered volumes that were Jeremy's world. A great
table in front of the window contained the books of the moment, the
latest news-sheets from London, and the great brass-clasped volume in
which he wrote his diary. In front of it stood a great straight-backed
chair.
You may picture him on a late August afternoon, sitting in this chair,
writing his diary by the fading light. His wig lay on the table, for
the weather was close. He paused, pen in hand, and looked wistfully at
the mellow eastern sky, lost in thought. Then he wrote these words:
_O Lord Jesus, fill me plentifully with Thy love, which passeth the
love of woman; for love of woman never will be mine, and therefore, O
Lord, I require Thy love bountifully: I yearn for love even as a weaned
child. Even as a weaned child yearns for the breast of its mother, so
yearn I for love._
He closed and clasped the book with a sigh, put on his wig, rose and,
going into the tiny hall, opened the kitchen door and announced to his
household, one ancient and incompetent crone, his intention of taking
the air. Then he clapped on his old three-cornered hat and, stick in
hand, went out of the front gate into the light of the sunset. He
stood for a while watching the deep reflections of the alders and
willows in the river and the golden peace of the meadows beyond, and
his heart was uplifted in thankfulness for the beauty of the earth. He
was a tall, thin man, with the stoop of the scholar and, despite his
rough, country-made clothes, the unmistakable air of the
eighteenth-century gentleman. The setting sun shone full on the
piteous medley of marred features that served him for a face.
A woman, sickle on arm, leading a toddling child, passed by with
averted head. But she curtsied and said respectfully: "Good evening,
your honour." The child looked at him and with a cry of fear shrank
into the mother's skirts. Jeremy touched his hat.
"Good evening, Mistress Blackacre. I trust your husband is recovered
from his fever."
"Thanks to your honour's kindness," said the woman, her eyes always
turned from him, "he is well-nigh recovered. For shame of yourself!"
she added, shaking the child.
"Nay, nay," said Jeremy kindly. "'Tis not the urchin's fault that he
met a bogey in broad daylight."
He strolled along the river bank, pleased at his encounter. In that
little backwater of the world where he had lived secluded for ten years
folks had learned to suffer him--nay, more, to respect him: and though
they seldom looked him in the face their words were gentle and
friendly. He could even jest at his own misfortune.
"God is good," he murmured as he walked with head bent down and hands
behind his back, "and the earth is full of His goodness. Yet if He in
His mercy could only give me a companion in my loneliness, as He gives
to every peasant, bird and beast----"
A sigh ended the sentence. He was young and not always able to control
the squabble between sex and piety. The words had scarcely passed his
lips, however, when he discerned a female figure seated on the bank,
some fifty yards away. His first impulse--an impulse which the habit
of years would, on ordinary occasions, have rendered imperative--was to
make a wide detour round the meadows; but this evening the spirit of
mild revolt took possession of him and guided his steps in the
direction of the lady--for lady he perceived her to be when he drew a
little nearer.
She wore a flowered muslin dress cut open at the neck, and her arms,
bare to the elbows, were white and shapely. A peach-blossom of a face
appeared below the mob-cap bound by a cherry-coloured ribbon, and as
Jeremy came within speaking distance her dark-blue eyes were fixed on
him fearlessly. Jeremy halted and looked at her, while she looked at
Jeremy. His heart beat wildly. The miracle of miracles had
happened--the hopeless, impossible thing that he had prayed for in
rebellious hours for so many years, ever since he had realised that the
world held such a thing as the joy and the blessing of woman's love. A
girl looked at him smilingly, frankly in the face, without a quiver of
repulsion--and a girl more dainty and beautiful than any he had seen
before. Then, as he stared, transfixed like a person in a beatitude,
into her eyes, something magical occurred to Jeremy. The air was
filled with the sound of fairy harps of which his own tingling nerves
from head to foot were the vibrating strings. Jeremy fell
instantaneously in love.
"Will you tell me, sir," she said in a musical voice--the music of the
spheres to Jeremy--"will you tell me how I can reach the house of
Mistress Wotherspoon?"
Jeremy took off his three-cornered hat and made a sweeping bow.
"Why, surely, madam," said he, pointing with his stick; "'tis yonder
red roof peeping through the trees only three hundred yards distant."
"You are a gentleman," said the girl quickly.
"My name is Jeremy Wendover, younger son of the late Sir Julius
Wendover, Baronet, and now and always, madam, your very humble servant."
She smiled. Her rosy lips and pearly teeth (Jeremy's own description)
filled Jeremy's head with lunatic imaginings.
"And I, sir," said she, "am Mistress Barbara Seaforth, and I came but
yesterday to stay with my aunt, Mistress Wotherspoon. If I could
trespass so far on your courtesy as to pray you to conduct me thither I
should be vastly beholden to you."
His sudden delight at the proposition was mingled with some
astonishment. She only had to walk across the open meadow to the clump
of trees. He assisted her to rise and with elaborate politeness
offered his arm. She made no motion, however, to take it.
"I thought I was walking in my aunt's little railed enclosure," she
remarked; "but I must have passed through the gate into the open
fields, and when I came to the river I was frightened and sat down and
waited for someone to pass."
"Pray pardon me, madam," said Jeremy, "but I don't quite understand----"
"La, sir! how very thoughtless of me," she laughed. "I never told you.
I am blind."
"Blind!" he echoed. The leaden weight of a piteous dismay fell upon
him. That was why she had gazed at him so fearlessly. She had not
seen him. The miracle had not happened. For a moment he lost count of
the girl's sad affliction in the stress of his own bitterness. But the
lifelong habit of resignation prevailed.
"Madam, I crave your pardon for not having noticed it," he said in an
unsteady voice. "And I admire the fortitude wherewith you bear so
grievous a burden."
"Just because I can't see is no reason for my drowning the world in my
tears. We must make the best of things. And there are compensations,
too," she added lightly, allowing her hand to be placed on his arm and
led away. "I refer to an adventure with a young gentleman which, were
I not blind, my Aunt Wotherspoon would esteem mightily unbecoming."
"Alas, madam," said he with a sigh, "there you are wrong. I am not
young. I am thirty-three."
He thought it was a great age. Mistress Barbara turned up her face
saucily and laughed. Evidently, she did not share his opinion. Jeremy
bent a wistful gaze into the beautiful, sightless eyes, and then saw
what had hitherto escaped his notice: a thin; grey film over the pupils.
"How did you know," he asked, "that I was a man, when I came up to you?"
"First by your aged, tottering footsteps, sir," she said with a pretty
air of mockery, "which were not those of a young girl. And then you
were standing 'twixt me and the sun, and one of my poor eyes can still
distinguish light from shadow."
"How long have you suffered from this great affliction?" he asked.
"I have been going blind for two years. It is now two months since I
have lost sight altogether. But please don't talk of it," she added
hastily. "If you pity me I shall cry, which I hate, for I want to
laugh as much as I can. I can also walk faster, sir, if it would not
tire your aged limbs."
Jeremy started guiltily. She had divined his evil purpose. But who
will blame him for not wishing to relinquish oversoon the delicious
pressure of her little hand on his arm and to give over this blind
flower of womanhood into another's charge? He replied disingenuously,
without quickening his pace:
"'Tis for your sake, madam, I am walking slowly. The afternoon is
warm."
"I am vastly sensible of your gallantry, sir," she retorted. "But I
fear you must have practised it much on others to have arrived at this
perfection."
"By heavens, madam," he cried, cut to the heart by her innocent
raillery, "'tis not so. Could you but see me you would know it was
not. I am a recluse, a student, a poor creature set apart from the
ways of men. You are the first woman that has walked arm-in-arm with
me in all my life--except in dreams. And now my dream has come true."
His voice vibrated, and when she answered hers was responsive.
"You, too, have your burden?"
"Could you but know how your touch lightens it!" said he.
She blushed to the brown hair that was visible beneath the mob-cap.
"Are we very far now from my Aunt Wotherspoon's?" she asked. Whereupon
Jeremy, abashed, took refuge in the commonplace.
The open gate through which she had strayed was reached all too
quickly. When she had passed through she made him a curtsey and held
out her hand. He touched it with his lips as if it were sacramental
bread. She avowed herself much beholden to his kindness.
"Shall I ever see you again, Mistress Barbara?" he asked in a low
voice, for an old servant was hobbling down from the house to meet her.
"My Aunt Wotherspoon is bed-ridden and receives no visitors."
"But I could be of no further service to you?" pleaded Jeremy.
She hesitated and then she said demurely:
"It would be a humane action, sir, to see sometimes that this gate is
shut, lest I stray through it again and drown myself in the river."
Jeremy could scarce believe his ears.