"If you wish it, Hampton, of course have it; but I think the money that
it will cost might very well be given to some missionary fund," said
Miss Matilda.
"Er-rum! When I want your advice, Matty, I shall ask it," said Sir
Hampton. "I must keep up my dignity in the county."
"You could do it in no better way, Hampton, than by subscribing to the
South Sea Islander Society--`Sir Hampton Rea, twenty guineas,' in the
county paper, would add more to your dignity than giving a dinner
party."
This was at breakfast, and Fin cast malicious glances at her sister, who
was blushing, and bending over her plate.
"Fanny!--er-rum!" continued Sir Hampton, not seeming to notice his
sister, "we'll say Friday. You will send invitations to--er-rum--let me
see!"
"Stop a minute, Hampy dear," cried her ladyship, making a scuffle to get
at something. "There--oh! now, how tiresome--that cream jug always gets
in the way. Thank you, Fin, my dear; take it up with a spoon--it isn't
hurt."
"Oh, ma dear," cried Fin, "the cream will taste of hot washerwoman and
mangles. You can't use it now."
"Oh, I'll drink it, my dear--oh!" she added, in a low voice, "Aunt Matty
will think it such waste."
"Are you ready, Fanny?" said Sir Hampton, rolling his head in his stiff
cravat.
"One moment, Hampy," said her ladyship, getting her pencil and tablets.
"My memory is so bad now, I must put them down."
"Then--er-rum--first we'll say--"
"Oh, one moment, Hampy; this tiresome pencil's got no point again."
"Take mine, ma dear," said Fin.
"Thank you, my love. Now, pa."
"Er-rum," said Sir Hampton--"first, then, we'll have er--er--Sir Felix
Landells."
Aunt Matty bowed her head approvingly.
"E, double L, S," said Lady Rea, writing. "Don't shake me, Fin, there's
a dear."
For Lady Rea had come undone at the back of her dress, and Fin was busy
with a pin at her collar.
"Er-rum!" continued Sir Hampton. "Next we'll have Captain Vanleigh."
And he looked hard at Tiny, who bent lower over her plate.
"Van, I--tut-tut-tut, how do you spell leigh, e first or i first?" said
Lady Rea.
"Shall I write them down for you, Fanny?" said Aunt Matty.
"No, thank you, Matty," said Lady Rea, who was getting into a knot.
"There, I shall know what that means."
"Er-rum!" said Sir Hampton; "Mr Mervyn."
"La! Hampy," cried Lady Rea, looking up, "you haven't said Mr Trevor."
"Mister--er-rum--Mervyn!" exclaimed Sir Hampton, sharply.
"Oh, there, my dear, don't fly at me like that," cried Lady Rea. "M, e,
r, v, i--"
"Y, Fanny, y," said Aunt Matty, with a shudder.
"Oh yes, y, of course," said Lady Rea, good-humouredly; "y, n, Mervyn.
Next?"
The girls bent their heads--Tiny over her breakfast, Fin smoothing the
rather tousled hair of her mother.
"Er-rum, I suppose I must ask this--er-rum--Trevor."
"Surely, Hampton," exclaimed Aunt Matty, "you will not think of inviting
that objectionable person."
Fin glanced at her sister, whose face was crimson, and Lady Rea looked
pained. "Matty, my dear, I think you are wrong. I..."
"Have you got that name down, Lady Rea?" said Sir Hampton.
"No, dear; but I soon will have," said her ladyship, making her pencil
scramble over the tablet.
"Er-rum!" ejaculated Sir Hampton, rising, puffing himself out, and
walking slowly up and down the room; "a man in my position is obliged to
make sacrifices, and ask people to whom he objects. In the event of my
contesting the county such a man as this--er-rum--this--er-rum--Trevor
would be useful I thank you, Matty; you mean, er--mean--rum, well. Put
his name down, Fanny."
"I have, my love," said Lady Rea, beaming at her children.
"Hampton, I protest against this outrage," cried Aunt Matty, "after the
marked way in which he has--"
"Tiny, come and cut some flowers," said Fin; and her sister gladly beat
a retreat, Fin whispering as they went--"Will he ask the little man?"
"Now, Matty," said Sir Hampton, "have the goodness to proceed; and in
future, when you enter upon such subjects, have the kindness to--
er-rum--remember that I am not deaf."
"I say, Hampton, after the marked way in which that `seafaring person'
has behaved to Valentina, it is most indiscreet to ask him here."
"Oh, Matty," cried Lady Rea, "I'm sure that young man is as nice as can
be."
"If that was what you intended to say, Matilda--er-rum--it would have
been most indecent before those children," said Sir Hampton, pompously.
"In--"
Aunt Matty could not say it, the word was too outrageous.
"I feel bound--er-rum--bound," said Sir Hampton, with emphasis, "to ask
the young man, as a proprietor, even as we might ask a tenant, Fanny."
"Yes, my love."
"Put down that lawyer as well, Mr--er, er--Mr--" he got the name out
with great disgust at last, "Pratt," and carefully wiped his mouth
afterwards.
"You'll be sorry for this, Hampton," said Miss Matilda, shaking with
virtuous indignation, so that some frozen dewdrops in her head-dress
quivered again, and Pepine, who had been surreptitiously nursed under a
canopy of table-cloth, received, in her excitement, such a heavy nip
from his mistress's knees, that he uttered an awful howl.
"Er-rum--sorry?"
"Yes, sorry. That objectionable person is always hanging about the
house like--like--like a vagrant; and those girls never go for a walk
without being accosted by him or his companion. If you have any eyes,
you ought to see."
"Oh, Matty, pray don't," said Lady Rea, appealingly.
"Er-rum! Silence, Fanny," said Sir Hampton. "And as for your remarks,
Matilda, they are uncalled for. My children would not, I am sure,
encourage the--er-rum--advances of that person; and Lady Rea would be
one of the first to crush any--er-rum--thing of the kind."
"Indeed!" said Aunt Matty, spitefully. "That--er-rum--will do," said
Sir Hampton. "Fanny, those will be our guests. See that the dinner is
worthy of our position."
He went out like a stout, elderly emperor of florid habit, and, as soon
after as was possible, Lady Rea beat a retreat, leaving Aunt Matty
taking dog, after her habit, in strokes with one hand, holding a pocket
handkerchief cake in the other; "and looking," Edward the footman, said
in the kitchen, after removing the breakfast things, "like a bilious
image getting ready for a fit."
Sir Hampton's study was horticulture that morning; and, after swallowing
a page on the manipulation of the roots of espaliers and pyramid trees,
he was about to go out and attack Sanders, the gardener, when Edward
announced Sir Felix Landells and Captain Vanleigh on business, and they
were shown in.
"Really--hope not deranging--untimely call," said Sir Felix.
"We will not detain you long, Sir Hampton," said Vanleigh, with a great
show of deference.
"Er-rum, gentlemen," said Sir Hampton, whose face shone with pride, "in
these rural--er-rum--districts, when one is--er-rum--far from society
and town, sociability and hospitality should, er--"
"Go hand in hand--exactly," said Vanleigh, smiling.
"Er-rum, I am very glad to see you, gentlemen," said Sir Hampton.
"Oddly--er-rum--oddly enough, we were discussing a little dinner for
Friday. Could you--er-rum--both, both--er--honour us with your
company?"
And he looked from one to the other.
"Well," said Vanleigh, hesitating, and glancing at Sir Felix, "it
depends somewhat on--Would you like to speak out, Landells?"
"'Sure you, no. Do it so much better. Pray go on."
And the young man turned crimson.
"Not pre-engaged, I hope?" said Sir Hampton.
"Well, Sir Hampton," said Vanleigh, modestly, after a pause, during
which he sat with his eyes on the carpet, "this is all so new to me, and
you have confused me so with your kind invitation, that my business--our
business--comes doubly hard to us to state."
"Er-rum--pray go on," said Sir Hampton, smiling condescendingly, for all
this was sweet to his soul; two scions of aristocratic houses with sense
enough to respect his position in life. Captain Vanleigh might have
borrowed a hundred pounds on the instant had he liked; but he was
playing for higher stakes.
"Then, if you won't speak, Landells, I must," said Vanleigh, who seemed
overcome with confusion. "No doubt there is a proper etiquette to be
observed in such cases, but I confess I am too agitated to recall it,
and I merely appeal to you, Sir Hampton, as a gentleman and a parent."
Sir Hampton bowed, and uttered a cough that seemed wrapped up in cotton
wool, it was so soft.
"The fact is, Sir Hampton, we have been here now three weeks--Landells
and I--and we have been so charmed, so taken with your sweet daughters,
that, in this hurried, confused way--I tell you, in short, we thought it
right, as gentlemen, to come first and tell you, to ask you for your
permission to visit more frequently, to be more in their society--to, in
short, make formal proposals for their hands."