TRAVELING.
There is no situation in which a lady is more exposed than when she
travels, and there is no position where a dignified, lady-like
deportment is more indispensable and more certain to command respect. If
you travel under the escort of a gentleman, give him as little trouble
as possible; at the same time, do not interfere with the arrangements he
may make for your comfort. It is best, when starting upon your journey,
to hand your escort a sufficient sum of money to cover all your
expenses, retaining your pocket book in case you should wish to use it.
Have a strong pocket made in your upper petticoat, and in that carry
your money, only reserving in your dress pocket a small sum for
incidental expenses. In your traveling satchel carry an oil skin bag,
containing your sponge, tooth and nail brushes, and some soap; have also
a calico bag, with hair brush and comb, some pins, hair pins, a small
mirror, and some towels. In this satchel carry also some crackers, or
sandwiches, if you will be long enough upon the road to need a luncheon.
In your carpet bag, carry a large shawl, and if you will travel by
night, or stop where it will be inconvenient to open your trunks, carry
your night clothes, and what clean linen you may require, in the carpet
bag. It is best to have your name and address engraved upon the plate of
your carpet bag, and to sew a white card, with your name and the address
to which you are traveling, in clear, plain letters upon it. If you
carry a novel or any other reading, it is best to carry the book in your
satchel, and not open the carpet bag until you are ready for the night.
If you are to pass the night in the cars, carry a warm woolen or silk
hood, that you may take off your bonnet at night. No one can sleep
comfortably in a bonnet. Carry also, in this case, a large shawl to wrap
round your feet.
One rule to be always observed in traveling is punctuality. Rise early
enough to have ample time for arranging everything needful for the day's
journey. If you sleep upon the boat, or at a hotel, always give
directions to the servant to waken you at an hour sufficiently early to
allow ample time for preparation. It is better to be all ready twenty
minutes too soon, than five minutes late, or even late enough to be
annoyed and heated by hurrying at the last moment.
A lady will always dress plainly when traveling. A gay dress, or finery
of any sort, when in a boat, stage, or car, lays a woman open to the
most severe misconstruction. Wear always neutral tints, and have the
material made up plainly and substantially, but avoid carefully any
article of dress that is glaring or conspicuous. Above all, never wear
jewelry, (unless it be your watch,) or flowers; they are both in
excessively bad taste. A quiet, unpretending dress, and dignified
demeanor, will insure for a lady respect, though she travel alone from
Maine to Florida.
If you are obliged to pass the night upon a steamboat secure, if
possible, a stateroom. You will find the luxury of being alone, able to
retire and rise without witnesses, fully compensates for the extra
charge. Before you retire, find out the position and number of the
stateroom occupied by your escort, in case you wish to find him during
the night. In times of terror, from accident or danger, such care will
be found invaluable.
You may not be able to obtain a stateroom upon all occasions when
traveling, and must then sleep in the ladies' cabin. It is best, in this
case, to take off the dress only, merely loosening the stays and skirts,
and, unless you are sick, you may sit up to read until quite a late
hour. Never allow your escort to accompany you into the cabin. The
saloon is open always to both ladies and gentlemen, and the cabin is for
ladies _alone_. Many ladies are sufficiently ill-bred to ask a husband
or brother into the cabin, and keep him there talking for an hour or
two, totally overlooking the fact that by so doing she may be keeping
others, suffering, perhaps, with sickness, from removing their dresses
to lie down. Such conduct is not only excessively ill-bred, but
intensely selfish.
There is scarcely any situation in which a lady can be placed, more
admirably adapted to test her good breeding, than in the sleeping cabin
of a steam-boat. If you are so unfortunate as to suffer from
sea-sickness, your chances for usefulness are limited, and patient
suffering your only resource. In this case, never leave home without a
straw-covered bottle of brandy, and another of camphor, in your
carpet-bag. If you are not sick, be very careful not to keep the
chambermaid from those who are suffering; should you require her
services, dismiss her as soon as possible. As acquaintances, formed
during a journey, are not recognized afterwards, unless mutually
agreeable, do not refuse either a pleasant word or any little offer of
service from your companions; and, on the other hand, be ready to aid
them, if in your power. In every case, selfishness is the root of all
ill-breeding, and it is never more conspicuously displayed than in
traveling. A courteous manner, and graceful offer of service are valued
highly when offered, and the giver loses nothing by her civility.
When in the car if you find the exertion of talking painful, say so
frankly; your escort cannot be offended. Do not continually pester
either your companion or the conductor with questions, such as "Where
are we now?" "When shall we arrive?" If you are wearied, this impatience
will only make the journey still more tedious. Try to occupy yourself
with looking at the country through which you are passing, or with a
book.
If you are traveling without any escort, speak to the conductor before
you start, requesting him to attend to you whilst in the car or boat
under his control. Sit quietly in the cars when they reach the depot
until the first bustle is over, and then engage a porter to procure for
you a hack, and get your baggage. If upon a boat, let one of the
servants perform this office, being careful to fee him for it. Make an
engagement with the hackman, to take you only in his hack, and enquire
his charge before starting. In this way you avoid unpleasant company
during your drive, and overcharge at the end of it.
If you expect a friend to meet you at the end of your journey, sit near
the door of the steam-boat saloon, or in the ladies' room at the car
depot, that he may find you easily.
There are many little civilities which a true gentleman will offer to a
lady traveling alone, which she may accept, even from an entire
stranger, with perfect propriety; but, while careful to thank him
courteously, whether you accept or decline his attentions, avoid any
advance towards acquaintanceship. If he sits near you and seems disposed
to be impertinent, or obtrusive in his attentions or conversation, lower
your veil and turn from him, either looking from the window or reading.
A dignified, modest reserve is the surest way to repel impertinence. If
you find yourself, during your journey, in any awkward or embarrassing
situation, you may, without impropriety, request the assistance of a
gentleman, even a stranger, and he will, probably, perform the service
requested, receive your thanks, and then relieve you of his presence.
Never, upon any account, or under any provocation, return rudeness by
rudeness. Nothing will rebuke incivility in another so surely as perfect
courtesy in your own manner. Many will be shamed into apology, who would
annoy you for hours, if you encouraged them by acts of rudeness on your
own part.
In traveling alone, choose, if possible, a seat next to another lady, or
near an elderly gentleman. If your neighbor seems disposed to shorten
the time by conversing, do not be too hasty in checking him. Such
acquaintances end with the journey, and a lady can always so deport
herself that she may beguile the time pleasantly, without, in the least,
compromising her dignity.
Any slight attention, or an apology made for crushing or incommoding
you, is best acknowledged by a courteous bow, in silence.