This expedition being happily finished, General Macleaver put the whole
army, navy, transports, and scene of action into a canvas bag, the prince
unsaddled his nose, and Captain Minikin being admitted, our hero was
introduced in form. Very gracious was the reception he met with from his
majesty, who, with a most princely demeanour, welcomed him to court, and
even seated him on his right hand, in token of particular regard. True
it is, this presence-chamber was not so superb, nor the appearance of the
king so magnificent, as to render such an honour intoxicating to any
person of our hero's coolness and discretion. In lieu of tapestry, the
apartment was hung with halfpenny ballads, a truckle-bed without curtains
supplied the place of a canopy, and instead of a crown his majesty wore a
woollen night-cap. Yet, in spite of these disadvantages, there was an
air of dignity in his deportment, and a nice physiognomist would have
perceived something majestic in the features of his countenance.
He was certainly a personage of very prepossessing mien; his manners were
engaging, his conversation agreeable, and any man whose heart was subject
to the meltings of humanity would have deplored his distress, and looked
upon him as a most pathetic instance of that miserable reverse to which
all human grandeur is exposed. His fall was even greater than that of
Belisarius, who, after having obtained many glorious victories over the
enemies of his country, is said to have been reduced to such extremity of
indigence, that, in his old age, when he was deprived of his eyesight, he
sat upon the highway like a common mendicant, imploring the charity of
passengers in the piteous exclamation of Date obolum Belisario; that is,
"Spare a farthing to your poor old soldier Belisarius." I say, this
general's disgrace was not so remarkable as that of Theodore, because he
was the servant of Justinian, consequently his fortune depended upon the
nod of that emperor; whereas the other actually possessed the throne of
sovereignty by the best of all titles, namely, the unanimous election of
the people over whom he reigned; and attracted the eyes of all Europe, by
the efforts he made in breaking the bands of oppression, and vindicating
that liberty which is the birthright of man.
The English of former days, alike renowned for generosity and valour,
treated those hostile princes, whose fate it was to wear their chains,
with such delicacy of benevolence, as even dispelled the horrors of
captivity; but their posterity of this refined age feel no compunction at
seeing an unfortunate monarch, their former friend, ally, and partisan,
languish amidst the miseries of a loathsome jail, for a paltry debt
contracted in their own service. But, moralising apart, our hero had not
long conversed with this extraordinary debtor, who in his present
condition assumed no other title than that of Baron, than he perceived in
him a spirit of Quixotism, which all his experience, together with the
vicissitudes of his fortune, had not been able to overcome. Not that his
ideas soared to such a pitch of extravagant hope as that which took
possession of his messmates, who frequently quarrelled one with another
about the degrees of favour to which they should be entitled after the
king's restoration; but he firmly believed that affairs would speedily
take such a turn in Italy, as would point out to the English court the
expediency of employing him again; and his persuasion seemed to support
him against every species of poverty and mortification.
While they were busy in trimming the balance of power on the other side
of the Alps, their deliberations were interrupted by the arrival of a
scullion, who came to receive their orders touching the bill of fare for
dinner, and his majesty found much more difficulty in settling this
important concern, than in compromising all the differences between the
Emperor and the Queen of Spain. At length, however, General Macleaver
undertook the office of purveyor for his prince; Captain Minikin insisted
upon treating the Count; and in a little time the table was covered with
a cloth, which, for the sake of my delicate readers, I will not attempt
to describe.
At this period they were joined by Sir Mungo Barebones, who, having found
means to purchase a couple of mutton chops, had cooked a mess of broth,
which he now brought in a saucepan to the general rendezvous. This was
the most remarkable object which had hitherto presented itself to the
eyes of Fathom. Being naturally of a meagre habit, he was, by indigence
and hard study, wore almost to the bone, and so bended towards the earth,
that in walking his body described at least 150 degrees of a circle. The
want of stockings and shoes he supplied with a jockey straight boot and
an half jack. His thighs and middle were cased in a monstrous pair of
brown trunk breeches, which the keeper bought for his use from the
executor of a Dutch seaman who had lately died in the jail. His shirt
retained no signs of its original colour, his body was shrouded in an old
greasy tattered plaid nightgown; a blue and white handkerchief surrounded
his head, and his looks betokened that immense load of care which he had
voluntarily incurred for the eternal salvation of sinners. Yet this
figure, uncouth as it was, made his compliments to our adventurer in
terms of the most elegant address, and, in the course of conversation,
disclosed a great fund of valuable knowledge. He had appeared in the
great world, and borne divers offices of dignity and trust with universal
applause. His courage was undoubted, his morals were unimpeached, and
his person held in great veneration and esteem; when his evil genius
engaged him in the study of Hebrew, and the mysteries of the Jewish
religion, which fairly disordered his brain, and rendered him incapable
of managing his temporal affairs. When he ought to have been employed in
the functions of his post, he was always wrapt in visionary conferences
with Moses on the Mount; rather than regulate the economy of his
household, he chose to exert his endeavours in settling the precise
meaning of the word Elohim; and having discovered that now the period was
come, when the Jews and Gentiles would be converted, he postponed every
other consideration, in order to facilitate that great and glorious
event.
By this time Ferdinand had seen every member of the club, except the
French chevalier, who seemed to be quite neglected by the society; for
his name was not once mentioned during this communication, and they sat
down to dinner, without asking whether he was dead or alive. The king
regaled himself with a plate of ox-cheek; the major, who complained that
his appetite had forsaken him, amused himself with some forty hard eggs,
malaxed with salt butter; the knight indulged upon his soup and bouilli,
and the captain entertained our adventurer with a neck of veal roasted
with potatoes; but before Fathom could make use of his knife and fork, he
was summoned to the door, where he found the chevalier in great
agitation, his eyes sparkling like coals of fire.
Our hero was not a little surprised at this apparition, who, having asked
pardon for the freedom he had used, observed, that, understanding the
Count was a foreigner, he could not dispense with appealing to him
concerning an outrage he had suffered from the keeper, who, without any
regard to his rank or misfortunes, had been base enough to refuse him
credit for a few necessaries, until he could have a remittance from his
steward in France; he therefore conjured Count Fathom, as a stranger and
nobleman like himself, to be the messenger of defiance, which he resolved
to send to that brutal jailor, that, for the future, he might learn to
make proper distinctions in the exercise of his function.
Fathom, who had no inclination to offend this choleric Frenchman, assured
him that he might depend upon his friendship; and, in the meantime,
prevailed upon him to accept of a small supply, in consequence of which
he procured a pound of sausages, and joined the rest of the company
without delay; making a very suitable addition to such an assemblage of
rarities. Though his age did not exceed thirty years, his beard, which
was of a brindled hue, flowed down, like Aaron's, to his middle. Upon
his legs he wore red stockings rolled up over the joint of the knee, his
breeches were of blue drab, with vellum button-holes, and garters of gold
lace, his waistcoat of scarlet, his coat of rusty black cloth, his hair,
twisted into a ramilie, hung down to his rump, of the colour of jet, and
his hat was adorned with a white feather.
This original had formed many ingenious schemes to increase the glory and
grandeur of France, but was discouraged by Cardinal Fleury, who, in all
appearance, jealous of his great talents, not only rejected his projects,
but even sent him to prison, on pretence of being offended at his
impertinence. Perceiving that, like the prophet, he had no honour in his
own country, he no sooner obtained his release, than he retired to
England, where he was prompted by his philanthropy to propose an
expedient to our ministry, which would have saved a vast effusion of
blood and treasure; this was an agreement between the Queen of Hungary
and the late Emperor, to decide their pretensions by a single combat; in
which case he offered himself as the Bavarian champion; but in this
endeavour he also proved unsuccessful. Then turning his attention to the
delights of poetry, he became so enamoured of the muse, that he neglected
every other consideration, and she as usual gradually conducted him to
the author's never-failing goal--a place of rest appointed for all those
sinners whom the profane love of poesy hath led astray.