Jan. 18th, 1788.
Dear Sir,
I sit down in compliance with your wish that I might explain my
sentiments on the subject of our conversation yesterday, more
fully than our situation would then permit.
When you first did me the honour of proposing to return me into
Parliament, I thought myself bound to be explicit on the
occasion, and I was so. I stated to you that the general
acceptance of such an offer, might naturally be considered to
imply a condition, on the person accepting it, of conforming in
his Parliamentary conduct with yours. I also stated to you at
large the reasons why I could not sit in the House of Commons
under the slightest implication of any such restraint, and I was
happy in finding you concur with me on that point, of which I
was perfectly satisfied by the warmth with which you disclaimed
any idea of your intending or wishing to restrain my freedom by
any condition whatsoever. The motives you were pleased to assign
for a conduct so very flattering and honourable to me, were an
additional incentive to my wishing rather to decline the
intended favour. I thought it beyond my merit, and I urged you
to confer it upon some other gentleman. These same sentiments I
repeated in many conversations I had with you on the subject;
but your friendly partiality persevered and prevailed. I do not
dwell on these facts from any supposition that you have
forgotten them, which could not be consistent with the very
honourable solicitude with which I know you have always borne
testimony to them, and to my independence. But I recal them to
show you that I also remember them, as forming the principal
ground of the obligation to you, which I uniformly felt, and
professed.
From that period to the present, we have concurred in sentiments
and acted together. I now understand from you that you have
engaged to support the present Administration. From what I have
heard of His Excellency, and what I know of you, I cannot doubt
that you have acted consistently with the public interest, and
your own honour; but being an utter stranger to the principles
or the measures which Administration may adopt, I feel that I
could not, without hazarding the sacrifice of my principles or
my character, follow your example in that point, however I
respect it. I see clearly, that while we remain as at present,
we shall both of us be exposed to that calumny, which you find
has even already been put into motion against us. Were I to go
to the House and vote as you may--for on any ordinary occasion I
could not forget my regards for you so much as to vote against
you--it would be relinquishing that independence which I have
always asserted. If I stayed away totally, I should be accused
by my enemies, of violating an engagement that never existed, or
I should be said by yours to cast upon you, and for such causes
as they would not fail to invent, the heaviest of all censures,
the tacit condemnation of a friend. And, however anxious each
would be to do justice to the other, calumny would drown our
voices, or malignity affect not to believe us. Thus
circumstanced, I should, were that practicable, request you to
reassume that seat, which I could no longer fill with honour to
you, or safety to myself. Though this cannot be done directly,
yet we may obtain the same end by an expedient tantamount in
effect, and which I mentioned to you yesterday, that is by your
permitting me to procure a return for a friend of yours for the
remainder of this Parliament, or to give him such a sum as may
enable him to procure it, when there shall be an opportunity.
Let me assure you, I am infinitely obliged by your manner of
receiving this proposal, as it shows me that you are too well
persuaded of my regard and respect for you to suppose it made
with any, the remotest view of putting an end to our intimacy or
friendship. On the contrary, I ask it as a favour, from that
very friendship, and because I am anxious to preserve it
inviolate. Neither am I afraid of being thought uneasy under a
sense of obligation, or desirous of being freed from it by the
paltry expedient of a partial compensation. I think you know me
too well to suspect me of so sordid an idea, and on your
vindication of me as to that, will I cordially rely. I cannot
but add that I am happy in making this proposition at a time
when the popularity of the Administration you have acceded to,
must evince to you and to everybody, that my object is perfectly
disinterested. The funds of opposition, if in fact such a thing
exists, you will allow are too low at present to have much
temptation for a purchaser.
Believe me, my dear Sir, with great truth and regard, your much
obliged and affectionate humble servant,
John P. Curran.