'Your nephew is here, and has company.'
'My nephew _here_?' gasped the old man. 'Good folks, will you come up to
the door with me? I mean--hee--hee--just for company! Dear me, I
thought my house was as quiet as a church?'
They went back to the window, and the farmer looked in, his mouth falling
apart to a greater width at the corners than in the middle, and his
fingers assuming a state of radiation.
''Tis my best silver tankards they've got, that I've never used! O! 'tis
my strong beer! 'Tis eight candles guttering away, when I've used
nothing but twenties myself for the last half-year!'
'You didn't know he was here, then?' said Loveday.
'O no!' said the farmer, shaking his head half-way. 'Nothing's known to
poor I! There's my best rummers jingling as careless as if 'twas tin
cups; and my table scratched, and my chairs wrenched out of joint. See
how they tilt 'em on the two back legs--and that's ruin to a chair! Ah!
when I be gone he won't find another old man to make such work with, and
provide goods for his breaking, and house-room and drink for his tear-
brass set!'
'Comrades and fellow-soldiers,' said Festus to the hot farmers and yeomen
he entertained within, 'as we have vowed to brave danger and death
together, so we'll share the couch of peace. You shall sleep here to-
night, for it is getting late. My scram blue-vinnied gallicrow of an
uncle takes care that there shan't be much comfort in the house, but you
can curl up on the furniture if beds run short. As for my sleep, it
won't be much. I'm melancholy! A woman has, I may say, got my heart in
her pocket, and I have hers in mine. She's not much--to other folk, I
mean--but she is to me. The little thing came in my way, and conquered
me. I fancy that simple girl! I ought to have looked higher--I know it;
what of that? 'Tis a fate that may happen to the greatest men.'
'Whash her name?' said one of the warriors, whose head occasionally
drooped upon his epaulettes, and whose eyes fell together in the casual
manner characteristic of the tired soldier. (It was really Farmer Stubb,
of Duddle Hole.)
'Her name? Well, 'tis spelt, A, N--but, by gad, I won't give ye her name
here in company. She don't live a hundred miles off, however, and she
wears the prettiest cap-ribbons you ever saw. Well, well, 'tis weakness!
She has little, and I have much; but I do adore that girl, in spite of
myself!'
'Let's go on,' said Anne.
'Prithee stand by an old man till he's got into his house!' implored
Uncle Benjy. 'I only ask ye to bide within call. Stand back under the
trees, and I'll do my poor best to give no trouble.'
'I'll stand by you for half-an-hour, sir,' said Loveday. 'After that I
must bolt to camp.'
'Very well; bide back there under the trees,' said Uncle Benjy. 'I don't
want to spite 'em?'
'You'll wait a few minutes, just to see if he gets in?' said the trumpet-
major to Anne as they retired from the old man.
'I want to get home,' said Anne anxiously.
When they had quite receded behind the tree-trunks and he stood alone,
Uncle Benjy, to their surprise, set up a loud shout, altogether beyond
the imagined power of his lungs.
'Man a-lost! man a-lost!' he cried, repeating the exclamation several
times; and then ran and hid himself behind a corner of the building. Soon
the door opened, and Festus and his guests came tumbling out upon the
green.
''Tis our duty to help folks in distress,' said Festus. 'Man a-lost,
where are you?'
''Twas across there,' said one of his friends.
'No! 'twas here,' said another.
Meanwhile Uncle Benjy, coming from his hiding-place, had scampered with
the quickness of a boy up to the door they had quitted, and slipped in.
In a moment the door flew together, and Anne heard him bolting and
barring it inside. The revellers, however, did not notice this, and came
on towards the spot where the trumpet-major and Anne were standing.
'Here's succour at hand, friends,' said Festus. 'We are all king's men;
do not fear us.'
'Thank you,' said Loveday; 'so are we.' He explained in two words that
they were not the distressed traveller who had cried out, and turned to
go on.
''Tis she! my life, 'tis she said Festus, now first recognizing Anne.
'Fair Anne, I will not part from you till I see you safe at your own dear
door.'
'She's in my hands,' said Loveday civilly, though not without firmness,
'so it is not required, thank you.'
'Man, had I but my sword--'
'Come,' said Loveday, 'I don't want to quarrel. Let's put it to her.
Whichever of us she likes best, he shall take her home. Miss Anne,
which?'
Anne would much rather have gone home alone, but seeing the remainder of
the yeomanry party staggering up she thought it best to secure a
protector of some kind. How to choose one without offending the other
and provoking a quarrel was the difficulty.
'You must both walk home with me,' she adroitly said, 'one on one side,
and one on the other. And if you are not quite civil to one another all
the time, I'll never speak to either of you again.'
They agreed to the terms, and the other yeomen arriving at this time said
they would go also as rearguard.
'Very well,' said Anne. 'Now go and get your hats, and don't be long.'
'Ah, yes; our hats,' said the yeomanry, whose heads were so hot that they
had forgotten their nakedness till then.
'You'll wait till we've got 'em--we won't be a moment,' said Festus
eagerly.
Anne and Loveday said yes, and Festus ran back to the house, followed by
all his band.
'Now let's run and leave 'em,' said Anne, when they were out of hearing.
'But we've promised to wait!' said the trumpet-major in surprise.
'Promised to wait!' said Anne indignantly. 'As if one ought to keep such
a promise to drunken men as that. You can do as you like, I shall go.'
'It is hardly fair to leave the chaps,' said Loveday reluctantly, and
looking back at them. But she heard no more, and flitting off under the
trees, was soon lost to his sight.
Festus and the rest had by this time reached Uncle Benjy's door, which
they were discomfited and astonished to find closed. They began to
knock, and then to kick at the venerable timber, till the old man's head,
crowned with a tasselled nightcap, appeared at an upper window, followed
by his shoulders, with apparently nothing on but his shirt, though it was
in truth a sheet thrown over his coat.
'Fie, fie upon ye all for making such a hullaballoo at a weak old man's
door,' he said, yawning. 'What's in ye to rouse honest folks at this
time o' night?'
'Hang me--why--it's Uncle Benjy! Haw--haw--haw?' said Festus. 'Nunc,
why how the devil's this? 'Tis I--Festus--wanting to come in.'
'O no, no, my clever man, whoever you be!' said Uncle Benjy in a tone of
incredulous integrity. 'My nephew, dear boy, is miles away at quarters,
and sound asleep by this time, as becomes a good soldier. That story
won't do to-night, my man, not at all.'
'Upon my soul 'tis I,' said Festus.
'Not to-night, my man; not to-night! Anthony, bring my blunderbuss,'
said the farmer, turning and addressing nobody inside the room.
'Let's break in the window-shutters,' said one of the others.
'My wig, and we will!' said Festus. 'What a trick of the old man!'
'Get some big stones,' said the yeomen, searching under the wall.
'No; forbear, forbear,' said Festus, beginning to be frightened at the
spirit he had raised. 'I forget; we should drive him into fits, for he's
subject to 'em, and then perhaps 'twould be manslaughter. Comrades, we
must march! No, we'll lie in the barn. I'll see into this, take my word
for 't. Our honour is at stake. Now let's back to see my beauty home.'
'We can't, as we hav'n't got our hats,' said one of his
fellow-troopers--in domestic life Jacob Noakes, of Muckleford Farm.
'No more we can,' said Festus, in a melancholy tone. 'But I must go to
her and tell her the reason. She pulls me in spite of all.'
'She's gone. I saw her flee across park while we were knocking at the
door,' said another of the yeomanry.
'Gone!' said Festus, grinding his teeth and putting himself into a rigid
shape. 'Then 'tis my enemy--he has tempted her away with him! But I am
a rich man, and he's poor, and rides the King's horse while I ride my
own. Could I but find that fellow, that regular, that common man, I
would--'
'Yes?' said the trumpet-major, coming up behind him.
'I,'--said Festus, starting round,--'I would seize him by the hand and
say, "Guard her; if you are my friend, guard her from all harm!"'
'A good speech. And I will, too,' said Loveday heartily.
'And now for shelter,' said Festus to his companions.
They then unceremoniously left Loveday, without wishing him good-night,
and proceeded towards the barn. He crossed the park and ascended the
down to the camp, grieved that he had given Anne cause of complaint, and
fancying that she held him of slight account beside his wealthier rival.