_How Sidonia demeans herself at the Convent of
Marienfliess--Item, how their Princely and Electoral Graces of
Pomerania, Brandenburg, and Mecklenburg, went on sleighs to
Wolgast, and of the divers pastimes of the journey._
After this, Sidonia disappeared again for a couple of years, and
no man knew whither she had flown or what she did, until one
morning she appeared at the convent of Marienfliess, driving a
little one-horse waggon herself, and dressed no better than a
fish-wife. On driving into the court, she desired to speak with
the abbess, Magdalena von Petersdorf; and when she came, Sidonia
ordered the cell of the deceased nun, Barbara Kleist, to be got
ready for her reception, as his Highness of Stettin had presented
her to a _præbenda_ here.
So the pious old abbess believed the story, and forthwith
conducted her to the cell, No. 11; but Sidonia spat out at it,
said it was a pig-sty, and began to run clattering through all the
cells till she reached the refectory, a large chamber where the
nuns assembled for evening prayer. This, she said, was the only
spot fit for her to put her nose in, and she would keep it for
herself. Meanwhile, the whole sisterhood ran together to the
refectory to see Sidonia; and as most of them were girls under
twenty, they tittered and laughed, as young women-folk will do
when they behold a hag. This angered her.
"Ha!" she exclaimed, "the flesh and the devil have not been
destroyed in them yet, but I will soon give them something else to
think of than their lovers."
And here, as one of them laughed louder than the rest, Sidonia
gave her a blow on the mouth.
"Let that teach the peasant-girl more respect for a castle and
land dowered maiden."
When the good abbess saw and heard all this, she nearly fainted
with shame, and had to hold by a stool, or she would have fallen
to the ground. However she gained fresh courage, when, upon asking
for Sidonia's documents, she found that there were none to show.
Without more ado, therefore, she bade her leave the convent; and,
amidst the jeers and laughter of all the sisterhood, Sidonia was
obliged to mount her one-horse cart again, or the convent porter
had orders to force her out.
By this all may perceive that, in place of repenting, Sidonia had
fallen still further in the mire, wherein she wallowed yet for
many years, as if it were, indeed, her true and natural element,
like that beetle of which Albertus Magnus speaks, that died if one
covered it with rose-leaves, but came to life again when laid in
dung.
Hardly had she left the convent-gate when the old abbess bade a
carl get ready a carriage, and flew in it to Stettin herself, to
lay the whole case before my gracious Prince, and entreat him,
even on her knees, not to send such a notorious creature amongst
them; for what blessing could the convent hope to obtain if they
harboured such an infamous sinner? So his Grace wonders much over
the daring of the harlot; for he had given her no
_proebenda,_ though she was writing to him constantly
requesting one. Nor would he ever think of giving her one; for why
should he send such a hell-besom to sweep the pious convent of
Marienfliess? The good abbess might rise up, for as long as he
lived Sidonia should never enter the convent.
And his Grace held by his word, though it cost him his life, as I
shall just now relate with bitter sighs.
It happened that, A.D. 1600, there was a terribly hard winter, so
that the fresh Haff [Footnote: The river Haff] was quite frozen
over, and able to bear heavy beams. Now, as the ice was smooth and
beautiful as a mirror, my Lord of Stettin proposed to his
guests--Joachim Friedrich, Elector of Brandenburg, his
brother-in-law, and old Duke Ulrich of Mecklenburg, his uncle, to
go over the Haff in sleighs, and pay a visit to the princely widow
and her little son.
Their Graces were well pleased at the idea. Whereupon his Highness
of Stettin gave orders to have such a procession formed as never
had been seen in Pomerania before for magnificence and beauty, and
therefore I shall note down some particulars here.
There were a hundred sleighs, some drawn by reindeer caparisoned
like horses, and all decorated gaily. The three ducal sleighs in
particular were entirely girded and lined with sable skin; each
was drawn by four Andalusian horses; and my Lady Erdmuth, who was
a great lover of show and pomp, had hers hung with little tinkling
bells and chains of gold, so that no one to look at them could
imagine how very little of the dear gold her gracious lord and
husband had in his purse, by reason of the hardness of the times.
The adornments of the other sleighs were less costly. Upon them
came the ministers, the officials, and others pertaining to the
retinue of the three princes: _item_, the ladies-in-waiting,
and divers of the reverend clergy; last of all came the Duke's
henchman, with a pack of wolf-dogs in leash: _item,_ several
live hares and foxes; a live bear, which they purposed to let
slip, for the pleasure and pastime of their Graces. But the young
men out of the town, fifty head strong, and many of the knights,
ran along on skates, headed by Dinnies Kleist, that mighty man,
who bore in one hand the blood-banner of Pomerania, and in the
other that of Brandenburg. Barthold von Ramin ran by his side with
the Mecklenburg standard. He was a strong knight too. But ah! my
God! how my Ramin, with his ox-head, was distanced by the wild men
of Pomerania, as they ran upon the ice over the Haff! [Footnote:
The blood-standard was granted by the Emperor Maximilian II. to
Duke Johann Friedrich of Pomerania because he carried the imperial
banner during the Turkish war of 1566. It only differed from the
old banner by having a red ground--from thence its name. Both
Pomerania and Brandenburg had wild men in their escutcheon, while
Mecklenburg bore an ox's head.] Two reserve sleighs, drawn by six
Frisian horses, finished the procession; they were laden with
axes, planks, ropes, and dry garments, both for men and women.
When their Graces mounted the sleighs amidst the ringing of bells
and roaring of cannon, great was their astonishment to see their
own initials stamped into the hard ice by Dinnies Kleist, as thus:
F. U. J. E. J. F., which, however, afterwards caused much dismay
to the honest burghers, for one of them--M. Faber, _a
præceptor_--mistaking the J. for a G., read plainly upon the
ice: "Fuge, J. F."--that is, "Fly, Johann Frederick!"
Ah! truly has the gracious Prince flown from thence; but it is to
a bitter death.
During the journey, Duke Johann had much jesting with his
brother-in-law, the Elector, who was filled with wonder at the
strength of Dinnies Kleist, for he kept ahead even of the
Andalusian stallions, and waved aloft the two banners of Pomerania
and Brandenburg, while his long hair floated behind him; and
sometimes he stopped, kissed the banners, and then inclined them
to their Serene Princely Graces. Whereupon Duke Johann exclaimed,
"Ay, brother, you might well give me a thousand of your
wide-mouthed Berliners for this carl; though, methinks, if he had
his will, he would make their wide mouths still wider." At this,
his Electoral Grace looked rather vexed, and began to uphold the
men of Cologne. Upon which his Highness cut him short, saying,
"Marry, brother, you know the old proverb--
'The men of Cologne
Have no hues of their own,
But the men of Stettin
Are the true ever-green.'
For where truly could your fellows find the true green in their
sandy dust-box? Marry, cousin, one Pomerania is worth ten
Margravates; and I will show your Grace just now that my land in
winter is more productive than yours even in autumn."
His Grace here alluded to the fisheries; for along the way, for
twelve or fourteen miles, the fishermen had been ordered to set
their nets by torchlight the night before, in holes dug through
the ice, so that on the arrival of the princely party the nets
might be drawn up, and the draught exhibited to their Graces.
Now, when they entered the fresh Haff, which lay before them like
a large mirror, six miles long and four broad, his Grace of
Pomerania called out--
"See here, brother, this is my first storeroom; let us try what it
will give us to eat."
Upon which he signed to Dinnies Kleist to steer over to the first
heap of nets, which lay like a black wood in the distance. These
belonged to the Ziegenort fishermen, as the old schoolmaster,
Peter Leisticow, himself told me; and as they had taken a great
draught the day before, many people from the towns of Warp,
Stepenitz, and Uckermund were assembled there to buy up the fish,
and then retail it, as was their custom, throughout the country.
They had made a fire upon a large sheet of iron laid upon the ice,
while their horses were feeding close by upon hay, which they
shook out before them. And having taken a merry carouse together,
they all set to dancing upon the ice with the women to the
bagpipe, so that the encampment looked right jovial as their
Graces arrived.
Now when the grand train came up, the peasants roared out--
"Donnerwetter, [Note: A common oath.] look at the plötz-eaters!
See the cursed plötz-eaters! Donnerwetter, what plötz-eaters!"
[Note: Plötz-eaters was a nickname given by the Pomeranians to the
people of the Margravates. For the plötz (_Cyprinus
Exythrophthalmus_) is a very poor tasteless fish, while the
rivers of Pomerania are stocked with the very finest of all kinds.
In return, the men of the Marks called the Pomeranians
"Feather-heads," from the quantity of moor-palms (_Eriophorum
vaginatum_) which grow in their numerous rich meadows.]
And now they observed, during their shouting, that the water had
risen up to their knees; and when the ducal procession rushed up,
the abyss re-echoed with a noise like thunder, so that the foreign
princes were alarmed, but soon grew accustomed thereto. Then the
pressure of such a crowd upon the ice caused the water to spout
out of the holes to the height of a man. So that by the time they
were two bowshots from the nets, all the folk, the women and
children especially, were running, screaming, in every direction,
trying to save themselves on the firm ice, to the great amusement
of their Graces, while a peasant cried out to the sleigh drivers--
"Stop, stop! or ye'll go into the cellar!"
Hereupon his Grace of Pomerania beckoned over the Ziegenort
schoolmaster, and asked him what they had taken, to which he
answered--
"Gracious Prince, we have taken bley; the nets are all loaded;
we've taken seventy schümers, [Footnote: A schümer was a measure
which contained twelve bushels.] and your Grace ought to take one
with you for supper."
Now his Highness the Elector wished to see the nets emptied, so
they rested a space while the peasants shovelled out the fish, and
pitched them into the aforesaid schümers. But ah! woe to the
fish-thieves who had come over from Warp and other places; for the
water having risen up and become all muddy with fish-slime, they
never saw the great holes, and tumbled in, to the great amusement
of the peasants and pastime of their Graces.
How their Highnesses laughed when the poor carls in the water
tried to get hold of a net or a rope or a firm piece of ice, while
they floundered about in the water, and the peasants fished them
up with their long hooks, at the same time giving many of them a
sharp prod on the shoulder, crying out--
"Ha! will ye steal again? Take that for your pains, you robbers!"
Now when their Graces were tired laughing and looking at the fish
hauled, they prepared to depart; but the schoolmaster prayed his
Highness of Stettin yet again to take a schümer of fish for their
supper, as their Graces were going to stop for the night in
Uckermund.
"But what could I do with all the fish?" quoth the Duke.
To which the carl answered in his jargon--
"Eh! gracious master, give them to the plotz-eaters; that will be
something new for them. Never fear but they'll eat them all up!"
Hereupon his Highness the Elector grew nettled, and cried out--
"Ho! thou damned peasant, thinkest thou we have no bley?"
"Well, ye've none here," replied the man cunningly.
So their Graces laughed, and ordered a couple of bushels of the
largest to be placed upon the safety sleigh.
Now when they had gone a little farther and found the ice as
smooth as glass, the henchman let loose the bear and the wolf-dogs
after it. My stout Bruin first growls and paws the ice, then sets
himself in earnest for the race, and, on account of his sharp
claws, ran on straight for Uckermund without ever slipping, while
the hounds fell down on all sides, or tumbled on their backs,
howling with rage and disappointment.
Yet more pleasant was the hare-hunt, for hounds and hares both
tumbled down together, and the hares squeaked and the hounds
yelped; some hares indeed were killed, but only after infinite
trouble, while others ran away after the bear.
After the hunt they came to another fishery, and so on till they
reached Uckermund, passing six fisheries in succession, whereof
each draught was as large as the first, so that his Grace the
Elector marvelled much at the abundance, and seeing the nets full
of zannats at the last halting-place, cried out--
"Marry, brother, your storeroom is well furnished. I might grow
dainty here myself. Let us take a bushel of these along with us
for supper, for zannat is the fish for me!"
This greatly rejoiced his Grace of Stettin, who ordered the fish
to be laid on the sumpter sleigh, and in good time they reached
the ducal house at Uckermund, Dinnies Kleist still keeping
foremost, and waving his two banners over his head, while Barthold
Barnim and the other skaters hung weary and tired upon the backs
of the sleighs.