NEW ARRANGEMENTS--THE CAPTAIN'S PHILOSOPHY IN REGARD TO PIPEOLOGY
That night our hero was lodged in the common jail of Arbroath. Soon
after, he was tried, and, as Captain Ogilvy had prophesied, was
acquitted. Thereafter he went to reside for the winter with his
mother, occupying the same room as his worthy uncle, as there was not
another spare one in the cottage, and sleeping in a hammock, slung
parallel with and close to that of the captain.
On the night following his release from prison, Ruby lay on his back
in his hammock meditating intently on the future, and gazing at the
ceiling, or rather at the place where he knew the ceiling to be, for
it was a dark night, and there was no light in the room, the candle
having just been extinguished.
We are not strictly correct, however, in saying that there was _no_
light in the room, for there was a deep red glowing spot of fire near
to Captain Ogilvy's head, which flashed and grew dim at each
alternate second of time. It was, in fact, the captain's pipe, a
luxury in which that worthy man indulged morning, noon, and night. He
usually rested the bowl of the pipe on and a little over the edge of
his hammock, and, lying on his back, passed the mouthpiece over the
blankets into the corner of his mouth, where four of his teeth seemed
to have agreed to form an exactly round hole suited to receive it. At
each draw the fire in the bowl glowed so that the captain's nose was
faintly illuminated; in the intervals the nose disappeared.
The breaking or letting fall of this pipe was a common incident in
the captain's nocturnal history, but he had got used to it, from long
habit, and regarded the event each time it occurred with the
philosophic composure of one who sees and makes up his mind to endure
an inevitable and unavoidable evil.
"Ruby," said the captain, after the candle was extinguished.
"Well, uncle?"
"I've bin thinkin', lad,----"
Here the captain drew a few whiffs to prevent the pipe from going
out, in which operation he evidently forgot himself and went on
thinking, for he said nothing more.
"Well, uncle, what have you been thinking?"
"Eh! ah, yes, I've bin thinkin', lad (puff), that you'll have to
(puff)--there's somethin' wrong with the pipe to-night, it don't draw
well (puff)--you'll have to do somethin' or other in the town, for it
won't do to leave the old woman, lad, in her delicate state o'
health. Had she turned in when you left the kitchen?"
"Oh yes, an hour or more."
"An' Blue Eyes,
'The tender bit flower that waves in the breeze,
And scatters its fragrance all over the seas'--
has she turned in too?"
"She was just going to when I left," replied Ruby; "but what has that
to do with the question?"
"I didn't say as it had anything to do with it, lad. Moreover, there
ain't no question between us as I knows on (puff); but what have you
to say to stoppin' here all water?"
"Impossible," said Ruby, with a sigh.
"No so, lad; what's to hinder?--Ah! there she goes."
The pipe fell with a crash to the floor, and burst with a Bright
shower of sparks, like a little bombshell.
"That's the third, Ruby, since I turned in," said the captain,
getting slowly over the side of his hammock, and alighting on the
floor heavily. "I won't git up again if it goes another time."
After knocking off the chimney-piece five or six articles which
appeared to be made of tin from the noise they made in falling, the
captain succeeded in getting hold of another pipe and the tinder-box,
for in those days flint and steel were the implements generally used
in procuring a light. With much trouble he re-lit the pipe.
"Now, Ruby, lad, hold it till I tumble in."
"But I can't see the stem, uncle."
"What a speech for a seaman to make! Don't you see the fire in the
bowl?"
"Yes, of course."
"Well, just make a grab two inches astarn of the bowl and you'll hook
the stem."
The captain was looking earnestly into the bowl while he spoke,
stuffing down the burning tobacco with the end of his little finger.
Ruby, acting in rather too prompt obedience to the instructions, made
a "grab" as directed, and caught his uncle by the nose.
A yell and an apology followed of course, in the midst of which the
fourth pipe was demolished.
"Oh! uncle, what a pity!"
"Ah! Ruby, that comes o' inconsiderate youth, which philosophers tell
us is the nat'ral consequence of unavoidable necessity, for you can't
put a young head on old shoulders, d'ye see?"
From the tone in which this was said Ruby knew that the captain was
shaking his head gravely, and from the noise of articles being kicked
about and falling, he became aware that the unconquerable man was
filling a fifth pipe.
This one was more successfully managed, and the captain once more got
into his hammock, and began to enjoy himself.
"Well, Ruby, where was I? O ay; what's to hinder you goin' and
gettin' employed in the Bell Rock workyard? There's plenty to do, and
good wages there."
It may be as well to inform the reader here, that although the
operations at the Bell Rock had come to an end for the season about
the beginning of October, the work of hewing the stones for the
lighthouse was carried on briskly during the winter at the workyard
on shore; and as the tools, &c., required constant sharpening and
mending, a blacksmith could not be dispensed with.
"Do you think I can get in again?" enquired Ruby.
"No doubt of it, lad. But the question is, are ye willin' to go if
they'll take you?"
"Quite willing, uncle."
"Good: then that's all square, an' I knows how to lay my course--up
anchor to-morrow mornin', crowd all sail, bear down on the workyard,
bring-to off the countin'-room, and open fire on the superintendent."
The captain paused at this point, and opened fire with his pipe for
some minutes.
"Now," he continued, "there's another thing I want to ax you. I'm
goin' to-morrow afternoon to take a cruise along the cliffs to the
east'ard in the preventive boat, just to keep up my sea legs. They've
got scent o' some smugglin' business that's goin' on, an' my friend
Leftenant Lindsay has asked me to go. Now, Ruby, if you want a short
cruise of an hour or so you may come with me."
Baby smiled at the manner in which this offer was made, and replied:
"With pleasure, uncle."
"So, then, that's settled too. Good night, nephy."
The captain turned on his side, and dropped the pipe on the floor,
where it was shivered to atoms.
It must not be supposed that this was accidental.
It was done on purpose. Captain Ogilvy had found from experience that
it was not possible to stretch out his arm to its full extent and lay
the pipe on the chimney-piece, without waking himself up just at that
critical moment when sleep was consenting to be wooed. He also found
that on the average he broke one in every four pipes that he thus
attempted to deposit. Being a philosophical and practical man, he
came to the conclusion that it would be worth while to pay something
for the comfort of being undisturbed at the minute of time that lay
between the conclusion of smoking and the commence of repose. He
therefore got a sheet of foolscap and a pencil, and spent a whole
forenoon in abstruse calculations. He ascertained the exact value of
three hundred and sixty-five clay pipes. From this he deducted a
fourth for breakages that would have certainly occurred in the old
system of laying the pipes down every night, and which, therefore, he
felt, in a confused sort of way, ought not to be charged in the
estimates of a new system. Then he added a small sum to the result
for probable extra breakages, such as had occurred that night, and
found that the total was not too high a price for a man in his
circumstances to pay for the blessing he wished to obtain.
From that night forward he deliberately dropped his pipe every night
over the side of his hammock before going to sleep.
The captain, in commenting on this subject, was wont to observe that
everything in life, no matter how small, afforded matter of thought
to philosophical men. He had himself found a pleasing subject of
study each morning in the fact that some of the pipes survived the
fall of the previous night. This led him to consider the nature of
clay pipes in general, and to test them in various ways. It is true
he did not say that anything of importance resulted from his peculiar
studies, but he argued that a true philosopher looks for facts, and
leaves results alone. One discovery he undoubtedly did make, which
was, that the pipes obtained from a certain maker in the town
invariably broke, while those obtained from another maker broke only
occasionally. Hence he came to the conclusion that one maker was an
honest man, the other a doubtful character, and wisely bestowed his
custom in accordance with that opinion.
About one minute after the falling of the pipe Ruby Brand fell
asleep, and about two minutes after that Captain Ogilvy began to
snore, both of which conditions were maintained respectively and
uninterruptedly until the birds began to whistle and the sun began to
shine.