An open recognition of unions outside of marriage would prevent the
present easy escape on the part of so many men and women from
responsible conduct in these unregulated relationships. It is because I
believe this that I am advocating this course, which will not make
immorality easier, but rather will impose definite obligations where now
none exist.
This proposal is not made lightly. I am not advocating such a course as
being in itself desirable or undesirable. I am attempting merely to
estimate the drift and tendency of the times, considering those forces
which for long have been in action and, as I think, must continue to
act with even greater urgency in the difficult years that are before us.
I must affirm how necessary, in my opinion, is some kind of fixed
recognition for every form of sexual relationship between a woman and a
man, so that there may be an accepted standard of conduct for the
partners entering into them. Regulation is more necessary in sex than in
any other department of conduct, for the plain reason that we are
dealing with a force that pierces the slashes through our conscious
wills, holding us often helpless in its power; a force which often finds
its momentum in atavisms stored up through countless ages before ever
society began; a force merely glossed over, as it were, by a worn smudge
of civilization. And to-day "the smudge" has grown more than ever
ineffective.
May not something be done now, when we are being forced to consider
these questions, to make some wider recognition possible. Partnerships
other than marriage have had a place as a recognized and guarded
institution in many older, and in some ways wiser, societies, and, it
may be that the conditions brought upon us after the World War may act
in forcing upon us a similar acceptance. I believe that, in face of
much that is happening to-day--the terrible disorder, like
spreading-sores, infesting our sexual lives--such a change would work
for good, and not for evil, that it would not destroy marriage, but
might re-establish its sanctity.
X
I can anticipate an objection that probably will be raised. Why, I shall
be asked, if sexual relationships are to be acknowledged outside of
marriage, preserve marriages at all? This question can be answered
confidently. Marriage in its permanent monogamous form will be
maintained because the great majority of women and men want it to be
maintained. The contract-partnerships I have suggested will be powerless
to harm wedded love, of which the child is the glorious symbol. No law
is needed to protect this beauty. There will always remain a penalty to
those who seek variety in love, in that unrest that is the other side of
variety.
It is the highest type of men and women who will seek to marry and be
best and happiest, if living together as faithful husband and wife, as
devoted father and mother, I do, however, hold, that there are
others--women and men--without the gifts that make for successful
parenthood or happy permanent marriage. I would recognize this frankly,
and let those who do not desire marriage be openly permitted to live
together in honorable temporary unions.
Surely it is the wisest arrangement for the man and woman worker who do
not want children, and, not wishing for the bondage of a continuous
companionship, desire to pass their lives in liberty. It is possible
that in some cases such friendship-contracts might serve as a
preliminary to marriage, while, under our present disastrous conditions,
they might also be made by those who are unsuitably mated and yet are
unable, or do not wish, to sever the bond with some other partner. Such
contracts would open up possibilities of honorable relations to many who
now are driven into shameful and secret unions.
In this way much evil would be prevented. As time went on, hasty
marriage would come to be looked on with disapproval, and many unions
would be prevented that now inevitably come to disaster. And this would
leave greater chances of marriage and child-bearing for others and more
suitable types; while further, these sterile unions would, by their
childlessness, act to remove for ever from the world those unsuited to
be parents. It is this last result that matters most.