(_By our Special Parasite._)
A brilliant reception is being prepared for Professor Hjalmar
Stormbarner, the Finnish novelist, on the occasion of his first visit to
England in June. An address of welcome, composed by Mr. C. K. Shorter
and Sir Robertson Nicoll, with lyrics by Mr. Max Pemberton and Lord
Burnham, will be presented to him at the Grafton Gallery, and Dr.
Clifford is arranging what he happily calls a "pious orgy of
congratulation" at the Caxton Hall, at which Sir Alfred Mond, Baron de
Forest, and Mr. Thornton, the new manager of the Great Eastern Railway,
will deliver addresses. A demonstration in Hyde Park in honour of our
guest is also being organised by his English publishers, Messrs. Dodder
and Dodder, at which their principal authors will speak at thirteen
different platforms, and a resolution will be simultaneously moved by
blast of trumpet that Professor Stormbarner is the greatest novelist in
the world.
Professor Stormbarner is of course best known in this country as the
author of the famous romances, _Letters from Limbo_, _The Devil's
Ducats_, _Narcotic Nelly_ and _The Sarcophagus_, but his versatility and
accomplishments in other departments of mental activity will come as a
surprise to his English admirers. He has penetrated the Arctic circle in
a bath-chair drawn by reindeer; he plays with great skill on the
balalaika, and he has translated most of the works of Mr. Edmund Gosse
into Mæso-Gothic. At the present moment he is undoubtedly the first
favourite for the Nobel Prize, though Willie Ferrero runs him close in
virtue of the patronage of Mr. Andrew Carnegie and the Dowager-Empress
of Russia.
Perhaps the finest and most convincing
tribute to the overwhelming
genius of the great Finnish romancer
is the quatrain recently written in his
honour by Mr. Edmund Gosse:--
George Eliot, greatest of blue stockings,
Joseph and Silas K. (the Hockings),
Watts-Dunton and Professor Garner--
Are all united in Stormbarner.
We understand that during his visit to London Professor Stormbarner will
stay with Mr. David Dodder at Hampstead, but will spend a week-end with
Mr. Lloyd George at Walton Heath.
* * * * *
Mrs. Ray Clammer, whose novels in praise of Blackpool, written at the
commission of the municipal council, have gained her equal cash and
kudos, has gone to Australia for a visit, but hopes to return in time to
spend August at the famous health resort which her genius has done so
much to adorn. Her only regret is that she has had to leave at home her
Persian cat Abracadabra, called "Abe" for short. "Abe," by the way,
figures prominently in a bright personal article about Mrs. Ray Clammer
which Miss Marjorie Moult contributes to _The Penwiper_ for May.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Lady Canvasser._ "I've called to ask you to give us
something for the O.P.Q.S. The----"
_Old Gentleman._ "My dear lady, I already give away one-tenth of my
income."
_Lady Canvasser._ "Oh, just this year, couldn't you make it an
eleventh?"]
* * * * *
Another Impending Apology.
"Meanwhile Dick Smith is matched with Carpentier, and will
receive £200 as the loser's end of a £1,200 purse offered by the
Liverpool Stadium."--_Daily Mail._
If it is as certain as this we shall put our money on Carpentier.
* * * * *
"Fallen by the Way.
Making a Deep Impression."
_Advt. in "Era."_
Evidently an accident to the heavy tragedians.
* * * * *
"Nurse, superior, or Help wanted, immediately: go to seaside:
experienced infant."
_Advt. in "The Manchester Guardian."_