Is one that watches himself a mischief, and keeps a lear eye still, for
fear it should escape him. A man that sees a great deal more in every
thing than is to be seen, and yet he thinks he sees nothing: his own eye
stands in his light. He is a fellow commonly guilty of some weaknesses,
which he might conceal if he were careless:--now his over-diligence to
hide them makes men pry the more. Howsoever he imagines you have found
him, and it shall go hard but you must abuse him whether you will or no.
Not a word can be spoke but nips him somewhere; not a jest thrown out
but he will make it hit him. You shall have him go fretting out of
company, with some twenty quarrels to every man, stung and galled, and
no man knows less the occasion than they that have given it. To laugh
before him is a dangerous matter, for it cannot be at any thing but at
him, and to whisper in his company plain conspiracy. He bids you speak
out, and he will answer you, when you thought not of him. He
expostulates with you in passion, why you should abuse him, and explains
to your ignorance wherein, and gives you very good reason at last to
laugh at him hereafter. He is one still accusing others when they are
not guilty, and defending himself when he is not accused: and no man is
undone more with apologies, wherein he is so elaborately excessive, that
none will believe him; and he is never thought worse of, than when he
has given satisfaction. Such men can never have friends, because they
cannot trust so far; and this humour hath this infection with it, it
makes all men to them suspicious. In conclusion, they are men always in
offence and vexation with themselves and their neighbours, wronging
others in thinking they would wrong them, and themselves most of all in
thinking they deserve it.