Is one much about the same model and pitch of brain that the clown is,
only of somewhat a more polite and finical ignorance, and as sillily
scorns him as he is sillily admired by him. The quality of the city hath
afforded him some better dress of clothes and language, which he uses to
the best advantage, and is so much the more ridiculous. His chief
education is the visits of his shop, where if courtiers and fine ladies
resort, he is infected with so much more eloquence, and if he catch one
word extraordinary, wears it forever. You shall hear him mince a
compliment sometimes that was never made for him; and no man pays dearer
for good words,--for he is oft paid with them. He is suited rather fine
than in the fashion, and has still something to distinguish him from a
gentleman, though his doublet cost more; especially on Sundays,
bridegroom-like, where he carries the state of a very solemn man, and
keeps his pew as his shop; and it is a great part of his devotion to
feast the minister. But his chiefest guest is a customer, which is the
greatest relation he acknowledges, especially if you be an honest
gentleman, that is trust him to cozen you enough. His friendships are a
kind of gossiping friendships, and those commonly within the circle of
his trade, wherein he is careful principally to avoid two things, that
is poor men and suretyships. He is a man will spend his sixpence with a
great deal of imputation,[85] and no man makes more of a pint of wine
than he. He is one bears a pretty kind of foolish love to scholars, and
to Cambridge especially for Sturbridge[86] fair's sake; and of these all
are truants to him that are not preachers, and of these the loudest the
best; and he is much ravished with the noise of a rolling tongue. He
loves to hear discourses out of his element, and the less he understands
the better pleased, which he expresses in a smile and some fond
protestation. One that does nothing without his chuck,[87] that is his
wife, with whom he is billing still in conspiracy, and the wantoner she
is, the more power she has over him; and she never stoops so low after
him, but is the only woman goes better of a widow than a maid. In the
education of his child no man fearfuller, and the danger he fears is a
harsh school-master, to whom he is alledging still the weakness of the
boy, and pays a fine extraordinary for his mercy. The first whipping
rids him to the university, and from thence rids him again for fear of
starving, and the best he makes of him is some gull in plush. He is one
loves to hear the famous acts of citizens, whereof the gilding of the
cross[88] he counts the glory of this age, and the four[89] prentices of
London above all the nine[90] worthies. He intitles himself to all the
merits of his company, whether schools, hospitals, or exhibitions, in
which he is joint benefactor, though four hundred years ago, and
upbraids them far more than those that gave them: yet with all this
folly he has wit enough to get wealth, and in that a sufficienter man
than he that is wiser.