Seest thou how gaily my young master goes,
Vaunting himself upon his rising toes;
And pranks his hand upon his dagger's side;
And picks his glutted teeth since late noon-tide?
'Tis Ruffio: Trow'st thou where he dined to-day?
In sooth I saw him sit with Duke Humfray.
Many good welcomes, and much gratis cheer,
Keeps he for every straggling cavalier.
An open house, haunted with great resort;
Long service mixed with musical disport.
Many fair younker with a feathered crest,
Chooses much rather be his shot-free guest,
To fare so freely with so little cost,
Than stake his twelve-pence to a meaner host.
Hadst thou not told me, I should surely say
He touched no meat of all this live-long day.
For sure methought, yet that was but a guess,
His eyes seem sunk for very hollowness,
But could he have (as I did it mistake)
So little in his purse, so much upon his back?
So nothing in his maw? yet seemeth by his belt,
That his gaunt gut not too much stuffing felt.
Seest thou how side it hangs beneath his hip?
Hunger and heavy iron makes girdles slip.
Yet for all that, how stiffly struts he by,
All trappéd in the new-found bravery.
The nuns of new-won Cales his bonnet lent,
In lieu of their so kind a conquerment.
What needed he fetch that from farthest Spain,
His grandam could have lent with lesser pain?
Tho' he perhaps ne'er passed the English shore,
Yet fain would counted be a conqueror.
His hair, French-like, stares on his frightened head,
One lock amazon-like dishevelléd,
As if he meant to wear a native cord,
If chance his fates should him that bane afford.
All British bare upon the bristled skin,
Close notchéd is his beard both lip and chin;
His linen collar labyrinthian set,
Whose thousand double turnings never met:
His sleeves half hid with elbow pinionings,
As if he meant to fly with linen wings.
But when I look, and cast mine eyes below,
What monster meets mine eyes in human show?
So slender waist with such an abbot's loin,
Did never sober nature sure conjoin.
Lik'st a strawn scare-crow in the new-sown field,
Reared on some stick, the tender corn to shield.
Or if that semblance suit not every dale,
Like a broad shake-fork with a slender steel
Despiséd nature suit them once aright,
Their body to their coat, both now misdight.
Their body to their clothes might shapen be,
That nil their clothés shape to their body.
Meanwhile I wonder at so proud a back,
Whilst, the empty guts loud rumbling for long lack,
The belly envieth the back's bright glee,
And murmurs at such inequality.
The back appears unto the partial eyne,
The plaintive belly pleads they bribed been;
And he, for want of better advocate,
Doth to the ear his injury relate.
The back, insulting o'er the belly's need,
Says, thou thyself, I others' eyes must feed.
The maw, the guts, all inward parts complain
The back's great pride, and their own secret pain.
Ye witless gallants, I beshrew your hearts,
That sets such discord 'twixt agreeing parts,
Which never can be set at onement more,
Until the maw's wide mouth be stopped with store.
_Joseph Hall obtained in 1601 the living of Halsted in Suffolk, and
married in 1603. In an autobiographical sketch of "Some Specialities in
the Life of Joseph Hall," he thus tells us himself the manner of his
marrying_:--
"Being now, therefore, settled in that sweet and civil country of
Suffolk, near to St. Edmundsbury, my first work was to build up my
house, which was extremely ruinous; which done, the uncouth solitariness
of my life, and the extreme incommodity of that single housekeeping,
drew my thoughts, after two years, to condescend to the necessity of a
married estate, which God no less strangely provided for me; for,
walking from the church on Monday in the Whitsun-week, with a grave and
reverend minister, Mr. Grandidge, I saw a comely and modest gentlewoman
standing at the door of that house where we were invited to a wedding
dinner, and inquiring of that worthy friend whether he knew her. Yes
(quoth he), I know her well, and have bespoken her for your wife. When I
farther demanded an account of that answer, he told me she was the
daughter of a gentleman whom he much respected, Mr. George Winniff, of
Bretenham; that out of an opinion had of the fitness of that match for
me, he had already treated with her father about it, whom he found very
apt to entertain it, advising me not to neglect the opportunity, and not
concealing the just praises of modesty, piety, good disposition, and
other virtues that were lodged in that seemly presence. I listened to
the motion as sent from God, and at last, upon due prosecution, happily
prevailed, enjoying the comfortable society of that meet help for the
space of forty-nine years."
_In 1605 Joseph Hall published at Frankfort in Latin a witty satire on
the weak side of the world, which had been written several years
earlier, entitled "Mundus Alter et Idem." Of this book I have given a
description in the volume of "Ideal Commonwealths," which forms one of
the series of the "Universal Library." Hall had obtained reputation as a
divine, by publishing two centuries of religious "Meditations," which
united wit with piety. Prince Henry, having sought an opportunity of
hearing him preach, made Hall his chaplain, and the Earl of Norwich gave
him the living of Waltham in Essex. At the same time, 1608, a
translation of Hall's Latin Satire, printed twice abroad, was published
in London as "The Discovery of a New World;" he himself published also
two volumes of Epistles, and this book of "Characters." There was a long
career before him as a leader among churchmen fallen upon troubled days.
He became Bishop of Exeter and was translated to Norwich. He was
committed to the Tower, released, and ejected from his see, and after
ten years of retirement, living upon narrow means at the village of
Higham near Norwich, he died in the Commonwealth time at the age of
eighty-two, on the 8th of September 1656. He took a conspicuous part in
the controversy of 1641 about the bishops, but twenty years before that
date a collection of his earlier works had formed a substantial folio of
more than eleven hundred pages. His "Characters of Virtues and Vices,"
written in early manhood, follow next in our collection._