AN ORDINARY FENCER

Is a fellow that, beside shaving of cudgels, hath a good insight into

the world, for he hath long been beaten to it. Flesh and blood he is

like other men, but surely nature meant him stockfish. His and a

dancing-school are inseparable adjuncts, and are bound, though both

stink of sweat most abominable, neither shall complain of annoyance.

Three large bavins set up his trade, with a bench, which, in the

vacation of the afternoon, he used for his day-bed. When he comes on the

stage at his prize he makes a leg seven several ways, and scrambles for

money, as if he had been born at the Bath in Somersetshire. At his

challenge he shows his metal, for, contrary to all rules of physic, he

dares bleed, though it be in the dog-days. He teaches devilish play in

his school, but when he fights himself he doth it in the fear of a good

Christian; he compounds quarrels among his scholars, and when he hath

brought the business to a good upshot he makes the reckoning. His wounds

are seldom above skin deep; for an inward bruise lamb-stones and

sweetbreads are his only spermaceti, which he eats at night next his

heart fasting. Strange schoolmasters they are that every day set a man

as far backward as he went forward, and throwing him into a strange

posture, teach him to thresh satisfaction out of injury. One sign of a

good nature is that he is still open-breasted to his friends; for his

foil and his doublet wear not out above two buttons, and resolute he is,

for he so much scorns to take blows that he never wears cuffs; and he

lives better contented with a little than other men, for if he have two

eyes in his head he thinks nature hath overdone him. The Lord Mayor's

triumph makes him a man, for that's his best time to flourish. Lastly,

these fencers are such things that care not if all the world were

ignorant of more letters than only to read their patent.

Character Writings of the Seventeenth Century · 第 79 / 429 题