_Asper_. He is of an ingenious and free spirit, eager and constant in
reproof, without fear controlling the world's abuses. One whom no
servile hope of gain, or frosty apprehension of danger, can make to be a
parasite, either to time, place, or opinion.
_Macilente_. A man well parted, a sufficient scholar, and travelled;
who, wanting that place in the world's account which he thinks his merit
capable of, falls into such an envious apoplexy, with which his judgment
is so dazzled and distasted, that he grows violently impatient of any
opposite happiness in another.
_Puntarvolo_. A vainglorious knight, over-Englishing his travels, and
wholly consecrated to singularity; the very Jacob's staff of compliment;
a sir that hath lived to see the revolution of time in most of his
apparel. Of presence good enough, but so palpably affected to his own
praise, that for want of flatterers he commends himself, to the floutage
of his own family. He deals upon returns, and strange performances,
resolving, in despite of public derision, to stick to his own particular
fashion, phrase, and gesture.
_Carlo Buffone_. A public, scurrilous, and profane jester, that more
swift than Circe, with absurd similes, will transform any person into
deformity. A good feast-hound or banquet-beagle, that will scent you out
a supper some three miles off, and swear to his patrons, damn him! he
came in oars, when he was but wafted over in a sculler. A slave that
hath an extraordinary gift in pleasing his palate, and will swill up
more sack at a sitting than would make all the guard a posset. His
religion is railing, and his discourse ribaldry. They stand highest in
his respect whom he studies most to reproach.
_Fastidious Brisk_. A neat, spruce, affecting courtier, one that wears
clothes well, and in fashion; practiseth by his glass how to salute;
speaks good remnants, notwithstanding the base viol and tobacco; swears
tersely, and with variety; cares not what lady's favour he belies, or
great man's familiarity; a good property to perfume the boot of a coach.
He will borrow another man's horse to praise, and backs him as his own.
Or, for a need, on foot can post himself into credit with his merchant,
only with the jingle of his spur, and the jerk of his wand.
_Deliro_. A good doting citizen, who, it is thought, might be of the
common-council for his wealth; a fellow sincerely besotted on his own
wife, and so wrapt with a conceit of her perfections, that he simply
holds himself unworthy of her. And, in that hoodwinked humour, lives
more like a suitor than a husband; standing in as true dread of her
displeasure, as when he first made love to her. He doth sacrifice
twopence in juniper to her every morning before she rises, and wakes her
with villainous out-of-tune music, which she out of her contempt (though
not out of her judgment) is sure to dislike.
_Fallace_. Deliro's wife, and idol; a proud mincing peat, and as
perverse as he is officious. She dotes as perfectly upon the courtier,
as her husband doth on her, and only wants the face to be dishonest.
_Saviolina_. A court-lady, whose weightiest praise is a light wit,
admired by herself, and one more, her servant Brisk.
_Sordido_. A wretched hobnailed chuff, whose recreation is reading of
almanacks; and felicity, foul weather. One that never prayed but for a
lean dearth, and ever wept in a fat harvest.
_Fungoso_. The son of Sordido, and a student; one that has revelled in
his time, and follows the fashion afar off, like a spy. He makes it the
whole bent of his endeavours to wring sufficient means from his wretched
father, to put him in the courtiers' cut; at which he earnestly aims,
but so unluckily, that he still lights short a suit.
_Sogliardo_. An essential clown, brother to Sordido, yet so enamoured of
the name of a gentleman, that he will have it though he buys it. He
comes up every term to learn to take tobacco, and see new motions. He is
in his kingdom when he can get himself into company where he may be well
laughed at.
_Shift_. A threadbare shark; one that never was a soldier, yet lives
upon lendings. His profession is skeldring and odling, his bank Paul's,
and his warehouse Picthatch. Takes up single testons upon oath, till
doomsday. Falls under executions of three shillings, and enters into
five-groat bonds. He waylays the reports of services, and cons them
without book, damning himself he came new from them, when all the while
he was taking the diet in the bawdy-house, or lay pawned in his chamber
for rent and victuals. He is of that admirable and happy memory, that he
will salute one for an old acquaintance that he never saw in his life
before. He usurps upon cheats, quarrels, and robberies, which he never
did, only to get him a name. His chief exercises are, taking the whiff,
squiring a cockatrice, and making privy searches for imparters.
_Clove_ and _Orange_. An inseparable case of coxcombs, city born; the
Gemini, or twins of foppery; that, like a pair of wooden foils, are fit
for nothing but to be practised upon. Being well flattered they'll lend
money, and repent when they have done. Their glory is to invite players,
and make suppers. And in company of better rank, to avoid the suspect of
insufficiency, will enforce their ignorance most desperately, to set
upon the understanding of anything. Orange is the most humorous of the
two, whose small portion of juice being squeezed out, Clove serves to
stick him with commendations.
_Cordatus_. The author's friend; a man inly acquainted with the scope
and drift of his plot; of a discreet and understanding judgment; and has
the place of a moderator.
_Mitis_. Is a person of no action, and therefore we have reason to
afford him no character.
_Of this kind are the