ARAB WOMEN
Having now cast a cursory glance over the life of the Arab man,
let us look into the inner life of the homestead—that is to say,
the life of the women, of the children, and of the servants. Placing
them in the same category does not in the least suggest that the
Arab woman is in any way a slave. Far from it. This is quite a
fallacy, which must be added to the list of legends to be dispelled
in this book.
With the exception of the Kabyles, the women in Algeria have almost
as many rights as the men. They are, of course, not nearly so free
as European women, and they are often obliged to share the home
with other wives, but, as they have been brought up to know no
other mode of living, they do not wish for anything else.
We will take as an example the life of an Arab girl belonging to a
respectable family of moderate means. The daughters of the family
when little girls will help their mother in the household duties,
accompany her when she goes out, learn to cook and to weave and
all the duties of a good housewife. Sometimes they are sent to the
convent of the White Sisters, where they earn a little money and are
taught to make carpets on regular lines. The Sisters will give them
a rudimentary education, but it will only take the form of lectures
on morality and hygiene. It is very, very rare to find an Arab girl
who can read or write. As soon as she reaches a marriageable age
offers will be made to her father by the fathers of eligible young
men, and if any union seems opportune terms will be discussed.
Apart from guaranteeing the bride a home, with enough to live
on, it is usual for the bridegroom’s parents to pay a sum down
and for the bridegroom to give his bride a trousseau, while she
in return will bring a dowry of a few household goods and golden
jewelry—family heirlooms, which may be of great value. When all
is arranged the date of the marriage is fixed, and up to the actual
first contact bride and bridegroom will not see each other. The
young man however often sends his female relatives to inspect the
young woman and to report on her appearance. The wedding lasts for
seven days and is conducted at the girl’s home and at the man’s.
For a week the bride’s mother will entertain all her friends and
the friends of her daughter, while the bridegroom is giving parties
to his companions. After the formality of going to the _kadi_ the
husband has access to the bride. She is brought to his house and
let into a room where he is hiding behind the curtains or under the
bed. When she is alone he suddenly leaps out and seizes her. This
is the first time they meet face to face.
After a quarter of an hour or so an old woman comes in, makes an
examination, and informs the assembled guests that the marriage
has been consummated, and cries of joy are uttered and the newly
married couple separate. It is not until the end of the feast that
the husband and wife live entirely together. Once she is with her
husband she sets about making his home comfortable. If they are
well off she will keep a female servant to do all the rough work
such as sweeping and polishing, but the preparing of the meal is
always done by her. The food is carried by her to her husband,
and he eats alone. She has her meals apart or with the other wives.
In the case where a man is already married the new wife, though she
may be the husband’s favorite, will take a secondary place with
the other wives, who will give her all the odd jobs to do. If she
is tactful she will be nice to them, and if she is clever she will
get her husband into her hands and make him dispose of the other
wives. As a matter of fact, this sort of intrigue is getting rare.
In the first place, polygamy is on the decline; this is due partly
to the contact of soldiers with the European method of living during
the war, and partly from reasons of economy. In cases where the first
wife is getting old—and Arab women get old very quickly—she is
often glad to have a young wife as a help.
In the homes of well-to-do Arabs the women are kept under lock and
key, and they practically never go out for a walk. They will be taken
for drives in closed carriages or motors, and occasionally they will
pay visits at nights to their women friends, but they go heavily
veiled and accompanied by many attendants. Once a week they go to the
Turkish bath, and once a week to the cemetery. Sometimes among the
poorer class the women are forced to go out to do their shopping,
but they are veiled from head to foot, and even this is rare, as
the husband usually does the marketing on his way to and from work.
All this caution, however, does not prevent intrigue and infidelity,
which is facilitated by old women and friends. A visit to another
girl is arranged, the visit is made, but there is another exit,
and the woman goes to see her lover. Unfortunately this is also
becoming common among unmarried girls who escape the supervision
of their parents.
However, in really good families the women are usually straight,
and they know, moreover, how to keep their husbands. In fact, the
wife is very much the mistress in her own home, and she lets her
man have just enough liberty and no more.
The laws of divorce are very broad, and are on an equality for men
and for women. The first case for separation is that of the couple
who, after three days of marriage, go before the _kadi_ and ask
for their release, because they realize that they can’t stand the
sight of each other. In this case they each take back what they gave
and return to their respective homes free, and shortly marry again.
The other main bases for divorce are the same as in Europe, but
there are also excuses which make things much easier than with us.
For instance, if a woman complains that her husband is out every
night and does not come home till midnight or so, the _kadi_ will
pronounce the necessary decree. In this case the wife keeps all the
man has given her, and he also pays the eleven francs which is the
fee for dissolution of marriage. A man gets his divorce at once if
he finds that his bride is not the _pure jeune fille_ he supposed
her to be. This entails many complications and family feuds, but,
as it is hard to prove, it is usually allowed to go by. There are
cases of divorce after long years of marriage, and there are cases
of the reunion of divorced parties who have lived separated for long.
The main point to realize is the facility of getting judicially
separated, and the fact that the woman has just as many rights as
the man.
Of course the life the wife leads if she is humble and docile is not
very amusing. In addition to cooking she must weave burnouses and
carpets, either for the home or, if they are poor, for sale, and
the man, having the position of lord and master before the world,
takes advantage of his wife’s docility if he can. But then this
happens in Europe!
As a matter of fact, the Arab man is not a bully, and one notices
that whenever he goes to the sheep and cattle markets he always
buys something for his wife, and with his children he is very kind
and thoughtful.
The wives of the nomads lead very much the same life as their
sisters in the towns, the only difference being that they do not
veil themselves when out in the plain.
It is not permitted for a woman to go to the mosque, and it is
unusual for them to say their prayers—in fact, their ignorance of
anything outside the homestead is complete. It is perhaps because of
this that they make good wives and do not hanker after the supposed
joys of the great world.
There is one flaw in all this peaceful life, and that is the state
of widowhood. When the husband dies the woman has nothing, unless
she has been allowed to put money aside herself or has property of
her own. She may be the wife of a _marabout_ or of an _agha_—the
moment she is a widow she loses all her status. There are three
alternatives open to her. The first is to go on living with her sons,
if they are big enough to keep her; the second to return to her
family or to that of her husband, if they are alive and willing;
or thirdly, to marry again. In well-to-do families the first two
alternatives are the most followed, but the third is not common,
as, though, curiously enough, a man will marry a divorced girl,
he rarely mates himself with a widow.
Of course, if the woman has independent means it is a different
story; but this is rare, and if none of the above openings are
possible her fate is very sad. A lone woman is regarded as having
no position, and she must at once make one for herself. Here again
she has three further alternatives: to enter the local _zaouia_,
where she practically becomes the slave of the _marabout_ and lives
the rest of her life weaving and working in this kind of convent;
or, if she prefers it, she can become a servant; or, as a last
resource, enter the ranks of the dancing-girls in the reserved
quarter. In fact, if she has no occupation and no house of her own,
the French authorities force her to take up her residence in that
special part of the town.
But, except in these particular cases, the Arab woman is not the
bond-slave of the man, and I have no doubt that the majority are much
happier than many European wives. It is, of course, very difficult
to get any definite information about all this, as it is against
the laws of etiquette to mention Arab women to their men. The above
facts have been gathered by little bits of talk here and there with
intimate friends, who have now and then voluntarily unburdened their
hearts, by talks to some of the rare few of the older generation who
have traveled a great deal and who don’t mind airing their views,
and by actual contact with respectable married women. Of this the
less said the better, as such meetings were strictly against all
the laws of propriety, and were contrived by friendly intrigues.
Secrecy about the womenfolk is so great that the stranger is not
even allowed to hear the sound of their voices, and I have stayed
with an Arab chief for a week, where we were eighteen to dinner
every night, and where there must have been twenty women and as
many children in the same house, and I never heard a sound which
suggested female presence. Even in the Sahara, where the women are
only divided from the men by a rug hung across the center of the
tent, I have passed the night, and only realized that women were
present when a child cried and its mother hushed it.
Some Arab chiefs allow European women to visit their wives, but
it is not very interesting. They can’t speak a word of French,
and they sit staring at the visitor with curious eyes, and touch
her clothes to see how they are woven and put on. Occasionally one
meets with women who have been to Europe, but, with few exceptions,
they regret their ventures and are glad to return.
There is one famous case of an Arab girl who drifted away from
the South, crossed the sea, and eventually found herself in Paris,
where she started dancing. She had an instantaneous success, and in
a short time had visited London and New York, acclaimed wherever she
went. It would be too long to go into all her adventures—suffice
it to say that she was courted by all, that she met all kinds of
interesting people; dressed in the smartest frocks, and lived on
a lavish scale. One day she returned to Laghouat and she remained
six months; during those six months she lived again as an Arab,
then she went back to Paris, but it was too late. The South had
seized her, her people had clutched her heart again, and she could
no longer keep away.
She returned to her home in the oasis. Nothing will now make her
return to Europe, and she says that the only possible life for a
woman is to be married to a nice Arab and shut up. The last time I
saw her she was sitting on the floor of a roughly furnished room,
barefooted, eating _kous-kous_ with her hands out of the same bowl
with her servants!