CONCERNING THE BUTTONS OF THE RAMILLIE COAT
"Now pray remark, sir," said the Lady Elizabeth Carlyon, seating
herself in a shady arbour and taking up her needle and thread, "a
woman, instead of sucking her thread and rubbing it into a black spike
and cursing, threads her needle--so! Thereafter she takes the object
to be sewed and holds it--no, she can't, sir, while you sit so much
afar, prithee come closer to her--there! Yet no--'twill never
do--she'll be apt to prick you sitting thus----"
"If I took off my coat, madam----"
"'Twould be monstrous indecorous, sir! No, you must kneel down--here
at my feet!"
"But--madam----"
"To your knees, sir, or I'll prick you vilely! She now takes the
article to be sewed and--pray why keep at such a distance? She cannot
sew gracefully while you pull one way and she another! She then fits
on her thimble, poises needle and--sews!" The which my lady forthwith
proceeded to do making wondrous pretty play with white hand and
delicate wrist the while.
And when she had sewn in silence for perhaps one half-minute she fell
to converse thus:
"Indeed you look vastly appealing on your knees, sir. Pray have you
knelt to many lovely ladies?"
"Never in my life!" he answered fervently.
"And yet you kneel with infinite grace--'tis quite affecting, how doth
it feel to crouch thus humbly before the sex?"
"Uncommon hard to the knees, madam."
"Indeed I fear you have no soul, sir."
"Ha!" exclaimed the Major, rising hastily, "someone comes, I think!"
Sure enough, in due time, a somewhat languid but herculean footman
appeared, who perceiving the Major, faltered, stared, pulled himself
together and, approaching at speed, bowed in swift and supple humility
and spoke:
"Four gentlemen to see your ladyship!"
"Only four? Their names?"
The large menial expanded large chest and spake with unction:
"The Marquis of Alton, Sir Jasper Denholm, Sir Benjamin Tripp and Mr.
Marchdale."
"Well say I'm out--say I'm engaged--say I wish to be private!"
The large footman blinked, and the Major strove to appear unconscious
that my lady held him tethered by needle and thread.
"Very good, madam! Though, 'umbly craving your ladyship's pardon, my
lady, your aunt wished me to tell you most express----"
"Well, tell her I won't!"
"My lady, I will--immediate!" So saying, the large footman bowed
again, blinked again and bore himself off, blinking as he went.
"And now, Major d'Arcy, if you will condescend to abase yourself we
will continue our sewing lesson."
"But mam----"
"Do--not----"
"Your ladyship's guests----"
"Pooh! to my ladyship's guests! Come, be kneeling, sir, and take heed
you don't break my thread."
"Now I wonder," said the Major, "I wonder what your lackey thinks----"
"He don't, he can't, he never does--except about food or drink or
tobacco--faugh!"
Up started the Major again as from the adjacent yew-walk a faint
screaming arose.
"Good God!" exclaimed the Major. "'Tis a woman!"
"Nay sir, 'tis merely my aunt!"
"But madam--hark to her, she is in distress!"
"Nay sir, she doth but wail--'tis no matter!"
"'Tis desperate sound she makes, madam."
"But extreme ladylike, sir, Aunt Belinda is ever preposterously
feminine and ladylike, sir. Her present woe arises perchance because
she hath encountered a grub on her way hither or been routed by a
beetle--the which last I do fervently hope."
This hope, however, was doomed to disappointment for very suddenly a
lady appeared, a somewhat faded lady who, with dainty petticoats
uplifted, tripped hastily towards them uttering small, wailing screams
as she came.
"O Betty!" she cried. "Betty! O Elizabeth, child--a rat! O dear
heart o' me, a great rat, child! That sat in the path, Betty, and
looked at me, child--with a huge, great tail! O sweet heaven!"
"Looked at you with his tail, aunt?"
"Nay, child--faith, my poor senses do so twitter I scarce know what I
say--but its wicked wild eyes! And it curled its horrid tail in
monstrous threatening fashion! And O, thank heaven--a man!"
Here the agitated lady tottered towards the Major and, supported by his
arm, sank down upon the bench and closing her eyes, gasped feebly.
"Madam!" he exclaimed, bending over her in great alarm.
"O lud!" she murmured faintly.
"By heaven, she's swooning!" exclaimed the Major.
"Nay, sir," sighed Lady Betty, "'tis no swoon nor even a faint, 'tis
merely a twitter. Dear aunt will be herself again directly--so come
let me sew on that button or I'll prick you, I vow I will!"
At this Lady Belinda, opening her languid eyes, stared and gasped again.
"Mercy of heaven, child!" she exclaimed, "what do you?"
"Sew on this gentleman's buttons, aunt!"
"Buttons, child! Heaven above!"
"Coat-buttons, aunt!"
"Mercy on us! Buttons! In the arbour! With a man----"
"Major d'Arcy, our neighbour, aunt. Major, my aunt, Lady Belinda
Damain."
Hereupon the Major bowed a trifle awkwardly since Lady Betty still had
him in leash, while her aunt, rising, sank into a curtsey that was a
wonder to behold and thereafter sighed and languished like the faded
beauty she was.
"My undutiful niece, sir," said she, "hath no eye to decorum, she is
for ever shocking the proprieties and me--alack, 'tis a naughty
baggage--a romping hoyden, a wicked puss----"
"Aunt Belinda, dare to call me a 'puss' again and I'll scratch!"
"And you are Major d'Arcy--of the Guards?"
"Late of the Third, madam."
"Related to the d'Arcys of Sussex?"
"Very distantly, I believe."
"Charming people! A noble family!"
The Major would have bowed again but for my lady Betty's levelled
needle; thereafter while her aunt alternately prattled of the joys of
Bath and languished over the delights of London, the Major's buttons
were rapidly sewn into place and my lady was in the act of nibbling the
thread when once again the ponderous menial drew nigh who, making the
utmost of his generous proportions, announced:
"Lord Alvaston, Captain West and Mr. Dalroyd----"
"O Betty!" exclaimed Lady Belinda, clasping rapturous fingers, "Mr.
Dalroyd--that charming man who was so attentive at Bath and afterwards
in London--such legs, my dear, O Gemini!"
"To see the Lady Elizabeth--most express, my ladies."
"Tell them to go--say I'm busy----"
"Betty!" wailed her aunt.
"Say I'm engaged, say----"
"O Bet--Betty--my child," twittered her aunt, "why this cruel
coldness--this harsh rigour?"
"O say I'm out--say anything!"
"Which, my lady, I did--most particular and Mr. Dalroyd remarks as how
he'll wait till you will--most determined!"
"O the dear, delightful, bold creature! And such a leg, my dear! Such
an air and--O dear heart o' me, if he isn't coming in quest of us
yonder! The dear, desperate, audacious man! I'll go greet him and do
you follow, child!"
And Lady Belinda fluttered twittering away, followed by the ponderous
lackey.
The Major sighed and glanced toward the distant ladder.
"You would appear to be in much request, madam," said he, "and faith,
'tis but natural, youth and such beauty must attract all men and----"
"All men, sir?"
"Indeed, all men who are blessed with eyes to see----"
Here chancing to meet her look he faltered and stopped.
"To see--what?" she enquired.
"'Bewitching Bet'!" he answered bowing very low.
"Ah--no!" she cried--"not you!" and turning suddenly away she broke off
a rose that bloomed near by and stood twisting it in her white fingers.
"And wherefore not?" he questioned.
"'Tis not for _your_ lips," she said, softly.
The Major whose glance happened to be wandering, winced slightly and
flushed.
"Aye--indeed, I had forgot," said he, rather vaguely--"Youth must to
youth and----"
"Must it, sir?
"Inevitably, madam, it is but natural and----"
"How vastly wise you are, Major d'Arcy!" The curl of her lip was quite
wasted on him for he was staring at the rose she was caressing.
"'Twas said also by one much wiser than I 'crabbed age and youth cannot
live together.' And you are very young, my lady and--very beautiful."
"And therefore to be pitied!" she sighed.
"In heaven's name, why?"
"For that I am a lonely maid that suffers from a plague of beaux, sir,
most of them over young and all of them vastly trying. 'Bewitching
Bet'!" This time he did see the scorn of her curling lip. "I had
rather you call me anything else--even 'child' or--'Betty.'"
They stood awhile in silence, the Major looking at her and she at the
rose: "'Betty'!" said he at last, half to himself, as if trying the
sound of it. "'Tis a most--pretty name!"
"I had not thought so," she answered. And there was silence again, he
watching where she was heedlessly brushing the rose to and fro across
her vivid lips and looking at nothing in particular.
"Your guests await you," said he.
"They often do," she answered.
"I'll go," said the Major and glanced toward the ladder. "Good-bye, my
lady."
"Well?" she asked softly.
"And--er--my grateful thanks----"
"Well?" she asked again, softer yet.
"I also hope that--er--I trust that since we're neighbours, I--we----"
"The wall is not insurmountable, sir. Well? O man," she cried
suddenly--"if you really want it so why don't you ask for it--or take
it?"
The Major stared and flushed.
"You--you mean----"
"This!" she cried and tossed the rose to his feet. Scarcely believing
his eyes he stooped and took it up, and holding it in reverent fingers
watched her hasting along the yew-walk. Standing thus he saw her met
by a slender, elegant gentleman, saw him stoop to kiss her white
fingers, and, turning suddenly, strode to the ladder.
So the Major presently climbed back over the wall and went his way, the
rose tenderly cherished in the depths of one of his great side-pockets
and, as he went, he limped rather noticeably but whistled softly to
himself, a thing very strange in him, whistled softly but very merrily.