COUSIN CLARA.
That man who spends his days in painting a girl's portrait, in talking
to her, and in gazing upon the unfinished portrait when she is not
with him, and occupies his thoughts during the watches of the night in
thinking about her, is perilously near to taking the last and fatal
step. Flight for such a man is the only thing left, and he so seldom
thinks of flight until it is too late.
Arnold was at this point.
"I am possessed by this girl," he might have said had he put his
thoughts into words. "I am haunted by her eyes; her voice lingers on
my ears; I dream of her face, the touch of her fingers is like the
touch of an electric battery." What symptoms are these, so common that
one is almost ashamed to write them down, but the infallible symptoms
of love? And yet he hesitated, not because he doubted himself any
longer, but because he was not independent, and such an engagement
might deprive him at one stroke of all that he possessed. Might? It
certainly would. Yes, the new and beautiful studio, all the things in
it, all his prospects for the future, would have to be given up. "She
is worth more than that," said Arnold, "and I should find work
somehow. But yet, to plunge her into poverty--and to make Clara the
most unhappy of women!"
The reason why Clara would be made the most unhappy of women, was that
Clara was his cousin and his benefactor, to whom he owed everything.
She was the kindest of patrons, and she liked nothing so much as the
lavishing upon her ward everything that he could desire. But she also,
unfortunately, illustrated the truth of Chaucer's teaching, in that
she loved power more than anything else, and had already mapped out
Arnold's life for him.
It was his custom to call upon her daily, to use her house as his own.
When they were separated, they wrote to each other every day; the
relations between them were of the most intimate and affectionate
kind. He advised in all her affairs, while she directed his; it was
understood that he was her heir, and though she was not more than five
and forty or so, and had, apparently, a long life still before her, so
that the succession was distant, the prospect gave him importance. She
had been out of town, and perhaps the fact of a new acquaintance with
so obscure a person as a simple tutor by correspondence, seemed to
Arnold not worth mentioning. At all events, he had not mentioned it in
his daily letters.
And now she was coming home; she was actually arrived; he would see
her that evening. Her last letter was lying before him.
"I parted from dear Stella yesterday. She goes to stay with
the Essex Mainwarings for a month; after that, I hope that
she will give me a long visit. I do not know where one could
find a sweeter girl, or one more eminently calculated to
make a man happy. Beautiful, strictly speaking, she is not,
perhaps, but of excellent connections, not without a
portion, young, clever, and ambitious. With such a wife, my
dear Arnold, a man may aspire to anything."
"To anything!" repeated Arnold; "what is her notion of anything? She
has arrived by this time." He looked at his watch and found it was
past five. "I ought to have been at the station to meet her. I must go
round and see her, and I must dine with her to-night." He sighed
heavily. "It would be much pleasanter to spend the evening with Iris."
Then a carriage stopped at his door. It was his cousin, and the next
minute he was receiving and giving the kiss of welcome. For his own
part, he felt guilty, because he could put so little heart into that
kiss, compared with all previous embraces. She was a stout, hearty
little woman, who could never have been in the least beautiful, even
when she was young. Now on the middle line, between forty and fifty,
she looked as if her face had been chopped out of the marble by a rude
but determined artist, one who knew what he wanted and would tolerate
no conventional work. So that her face, at all events, was, if not
unique, at least unlike any other face one had ever seen. Most faces,
we know, can be reduced to certain general types--even Iris's face
might be classified--while of yours, my brother, there are, no doubt,
multitudes. Miss Holland, however, had good eyes--bright, clear
gray--the eyes of a woman who knows what she wants and means to get it
if she can.
"Well, my dear," she said, taking the one comfortable chair in the
studio, "I am back again, and I have enjoyed my journey very much; we
will have all the travels this evening. You are looking splendid,
Arnold!"
"I am very well indeed. And you, Clara? But I need not ask."
"No, I am always well. I told you about dear Stella, did I not? I
never had a more delightful companion."
"So glad you liked her."
"If only, Arnold, you would like her too. But I know"--for Arnold
changed color--"I know one must not interfere in these matters. But
surely one may go so far with a young man one loves as to say, 'Here
is a girl of a million.' There is not, Arnold, I declare, her equal
anywhere; a clearer head I never met, or a better educated girl, or
one who knows what a man can do, and how he can be helped to do it."
"Thank you, Clara," Arnold said coldly; "I dare say I shall discover
the young lady's perfections in time."
"Not, I think, without some help. She is not an ordinary girl. You
must draw her out, my dear boy."
"I will," he said listlessly. "I will try to draw her out, if you
like."
"We talked a great deal of you, Arnold," Clara went on. "I confided to
her some of my hopes and ambitions for you; and I am free to confess
to you that she has greatly modified all my plans and calculations."
"Oh!" Arnold was interested in this "But, my dear Clara, I have my
profession. I must follow my profession."
"Surely--surely! Listen, Arnold, patiently. Anybody can become an
artist--anybody, of course, who has the genius. And all kinds of
people, gutter people, have the genius."
"The sun," said Arnold, just as if he had been Lala Roy, "shines on
all alike."
"Quite so; and there is an immense enthusiasm for art everywhere; but
there is no art leader. There is no one man recognized as the man most
competent to speak on art of every kind. Think of that. It is Stella's
idea entirely. This man, when he is found, will sway enormous
authority; he will become, if he has a wife able to assist him, an
immense social power."
"And you want me to become that man?"
"Yes, Arnold. I do not see why you should not become that man. Cease
to think of becoming President of the Royal Academy, yet go on
painting; prove your genius, so as to command respect; cultivate the
art of public speaking; and look about for a wife who will be your
right hand. Think of this seriously. This is only a rough sketch, we
can fill in the details afterward. But think of it. Oh, my dear boy!
if I were only a man, and five-and-twenty, with such a chance before
me! What a glorious career is yours, if you choose! But of course you
will choose. Good gracious, Arnold! who is that?"
She pointed to the canvas on the easel, where Iris's face was like the
tale of Cambuscan, half told.
"It is no one you know, Clara."
"One of your models?" She rose and examined it more closely through
her glasses. "The eyes are wonderful, Arnold. They are eyes I know. As
if I could ever forget them! They are the same eyes, exactly the same
eyes. I have never met with any like them before. They are the eyes of
my poor, lost, betrayed Claude Deseret. Where did you pick up this
girl, Arnold? Is she a common model?"
"Not at all. She is not a model. She is a young lady who teaches by
correspondence. She is my tutor--of course I have so often talked to
you about her--who taught me the science of Heraldry, and wrote me
such charming letters."
"Your tutor! You said your tutor was an old gentleman."
"So I thought, Clara. But I was wrong. My tutor is a young lady, and
this is her portrait, half-finished. It does not do her any kind of
justice."
"A young lady!" She looked suspiciously at Arnold, whose telltale
cheek flushed. "A young lady! Indeed! And you have made her
acquaintance."
"As you see, Clara; and she does me the honor to let me paint her
portrait."
"What is her name, Arnold?"
"She is a Miss Aglen."
"Strange. The Deserets once intermarried with the Aglens. I wonder if
she is any connection. They were Warwickshire Aglens. But it is
impossible--a teacher by correspondence, a mere private governess! Who
are her people?"
"She lives with her grandfather. I think her father was a tutor or
journalist of some kind, but he is dead; and her grandfather keeps a
second-hand bookshop in the King's Road close by."
"A bookshop! But you said, Arnold, that she was a young lady."
"So she is, Clara," he replied simply.
"Arnold!" for the first time in his life Arnold saw his cousin angry
with him. She was constantly being angry with other people, but never
before had she been angry with him. "Arnold, spare me this nonsense.
If you have been playing with this shop-girl I cannot help it, and I
beg that you will tell me no more about it, and do not, to my face,
speak of her as a lady."
"I have not been playing with her, I think," said Arnold gravely; "I
have been very serious with her."
"Everybody nowadays is a young lady. The girl who gives you a cup of
tea in a shop; the girl who dances in the ballet; the girl who makes
your dresses."
"In that case, Clara, you need not mind my calling Miss Aglen a young
lady."
"There is one word left, at least: women of my class are gentlewomen."
"Miss Aglen is a gentlewoman."
"Arnold, look me in the face. My dear boy, tell me, are you mad? Oh,
think of my poor unhappy Claude, what he did, and what he must have
suffered!"
"I know what he did. I do not know what he suffered. My case, however,
is different from his. I am not engaged to any one."
"Arnold, think of the great scheme of life I have drawn out for you.
My dear boy, would you throw that all away?"
She laid her hands upon his arm and looked in his eyes with a pitiful
gaze. He took her hands in his.
"My dear, every man must shape his life for himself, or must live out
the life shaped for him by his fate, not by his friends. What if I see
a life more delightful to me than that of which you dream?"
"You talk of a delightful life, Arnold; I spoke of an honorable
career."
"Mine will be a life of quiet work and love. Yours, Clara, would be of
noisy and troublesome work without love."
"Without love, Arnold? You are infatuated."
She sunk into the chair and buried her face in her hands. First, it
was her lover who had deserted her for the sake of a governess, the
daughter of some London tradesman; and now her adopted son, almost the
only creature she loved, for whom she had schemed and thought for
nearly twenty years, was ready to give up everything for the sake of
another governess, also connected with the lower forms of commercial
interests.
"It is very hard, Arnold," she said. "No, don't try to persuade me. I
am getting an old woman, and it is too late for me to learn that a
gentleman can be happy unless he marries a lady. You might as well ask
me to look for happiness with a grocer."
"Not quite," said Arnold.
"It is exactly the same thing. Pray, have you proposed to this--this
young lady of the second-hand bookshop?"
"No, I have not."
"You are in love with her, however?"
"I am, Clara."
"And you intend to ask her--in the shop, I dare say, among the
second-hand books--to become your wife?"
"That is my serious intention, Clara."
"Claude did the same thing. His father remonstrated with him in vain,
he took his wife to London, where, for a time, he lived in misery and
self-reproach."
"Do you know that he reproached himself?"
"I know what must have happened when he found out his mistake. Then he
went to America, where he died, no doubt in despair, although his
father had forgiven him."
"The cases are hardly parallel," said Arnold. "Still, will you permit
me to introduce Miss Aglen to you, if she should do me the honor of
accepting me? Be generous, Clara. Do not condemn the poor girl without
seeing her."
"I condemn no one--I judge no one, not even you, Arnold. But I will
not receive that young woman."
"Very well, Clara."
"How shall you live, Arnold?" she asked coldly.
It was the finishing stroke--the dismissal.
"I suppose we shall not marry; but, of course, I am talking as if--"
"As if she was ready to jump into your arms. Go on."
"We shall not marry until I have made some kind of a beginning in my
work. Clara, let us have no further explanation. I understand
perfectly well. But, my dear Clara," he laid his arm upon her neck and
kissed her, "I shall not let you quarrel with me. I owe you too much,
and I love you too well. I am always your most faithful of servants."
"No; till you are married--then--Oh, Arnold! Arnold!"
A less strong-minded woman would have burst into tears. Clara did not.
She got into her carriage and drove home. She spent a miserable
evening and a sleepless night. But she did not cry.