Mr. Dodd was a minister who lived many years ago a few miles from
Cambridge; and having several times been preaching against drunkenness,
some of the Cambridge scholars (conscience, which is sharper than ten
thousand witnesses, being their monitor) were very much offended, and
thought he made reflections on them. Some little time after, Mr. Dodd
was walking towards Cambridge, and met some of the gownsmen, who, as
soon as they saw him at a distance, resolved to make some ridicule of
him. As soon as he came up, they accosted him with “Your servant, sir!”
He replied, “Your servant, gentlemen.” They asked him if he had not been
preaching very much against drunkenness of late? He answered in the
affirmative. They then told him they had a favour to beg of him, and it
was that he would preach a sermon to them _there_, from a text they
should choose. He argued that it was an imposition, for a man ought to
have some consideration before preaching. They said they would not put
up with a denial, and insisted upon his preaching immediately (in a
hollow tree which stood by the road side) from the word M.A.L.T. He then
began, “Beloved, let me crave your attention. I am a little man--come at
a short notice--to preach a short sermon--from a short text--to a thin
congregation--in an unworthy pulpit. Beloved, my text is _Malt_. I
cannot divide it into sentences, there being none; nor into words, there
being but one; I must therefore, of necessity, divide it into letters,
which I find in my text to be these four--M.A.L.T.
M--is Moral.
A--is Allegorical.
L--is Literal.
T--is Theological.
“The moral, is to teach you rusticks good manners: therefore M--my
Masters, A--All of you, L--Leave off, T--Tippling.
“The Allegorical is, when one thing is spoken of, and another meant. The
thing spoken of is Malt. The thing meant is the spirit of Malt, which
you rusticks make, M--your Meat, A--your Apparel, L--your Liberty, and
T--your Trust.
“The Literal is, according to the letters, M--Much, A--Ale, L--Little,
T--Trust.
“The Theological is, according to the effects it works--in some,
M--Murder--in others, A--Adultery--in all, L--Looseness of Life, and in
many, T--Treachery.
“I shall conclude the subject, First, by way of Exhortation. M--my
Masters, A--All of you, L--Listen, T--To my Text. Second, by way of
Caution. M--my Masters, A--All of you, L--Look for, T--the Truth. Third,
by way of communicating the Truth, which is this:--A Drunkard is the
annoyance of modesty; the spoil of civility; the destruction of reason;
the robber’s agent; the alehouse’s benefactor; his wife’s sorrow; his
children’s trouble; his own shame; his neighbour’s scoff; a walking
swill-bowl; the picture of a beast; the monster of a man!”
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