OF THE TENSES.
Tense is the distinction of time, and consists of six divisions, namely,
the Present, the Imperfect, the Perfect, the Pluperfect, and the First and
Second Future Tenses.
Time is also distinguished by a fore lock, scythe, and hour-glass; but the
youthful reader must bear in mind, that these things are not to be
confounded with tenses.
The Present Tense, as its name implies, represents an action or event
occurring at the present time: as, “I lament; rogues prosper; the mob
rules.”
The Imperfect Tense represents a past action or event, but which, like a
mutton chop, may be either thoroughly done, or not thoroughly done; were
it _meet_, we should say _under-done_: as,
“When I _was_ a little boy some fifteen years ago,
My mammy _doted_ on me--Lork! she _made_ me quite a show.”
“When our reporter left, the Honourable Gentleman _was_ still on his
legs.”
The legs of most “Honourable Gentlemen” must be tolerably stout ones; for
the “majority” do not stand on trifles. However, we are not going to
_commit_ ourselves, like _some_ folks, nor to get _committed_, like
_other_ folks; so we will leave “_Honourable_ Gentlemen” to manage matters
their own way.
The Perfect Tense declares a thing to have been done at some time, though
an indefinite one, antecedent to the present time. That, however, which
the Perfect Tense represents as done, is completely, or, as we say of John
Bull, when he is humbugged by the thimble-rig people, regularly done; as,
“I _have been_ out on the river.” “I _have caught_ a crab.”
Catching a crab is a thing _regularly_ (in another sense than completely)
done, when civic swains pull young ladies up to Richmond. We beg to inform
persons unacquainted with aquatic phraseology, that “pulling up” young
ladies, or others, is a very different thing from “pulling up” an omnibus
conductor or a cabman. What an equivocal language is ours! How much less
agreeable to be “pulled up” at Bow Street than to be “pulled up” in a
wherry! how wide the discrepancy between “pulling up” radishes and
“pulling up” horses!
The Pluperfect Tense represents a thing as doubly past; that is, as past
previously to some other point of time also past; as, “I fell in love
before I _had arrived_ at years of discretion.”
[Illustration]
The First Future Tense represents the action as yet to come, either at a
certain or an uncertain time; as, “The tailor _will send_ my coat home
to-morrow; and when I find it perfectly convenient, I _shall pay_ him.”
The Second Future intimates that the action will be completed at or before
the time of another future action or event; as, “I wonder how many
conquests I _shall have made_ by to-morrow morning.”
N.B. One ball is often the means of killing a great many people.
The consideration of the tenses suggests various moral reflections to the
thinking mind.
A few examples will perhaps suffice:--
1. _Present_, though moderate fruition, is preferable to splendid, but
contingent _futurity_; i. e. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.
2. _Imperfect_ nutrition is less to be deprecated than privation of
aliment;--a new way of putting an old proverb, which we need not again
insert, respecting half a loaf.
3. _Perfect_ callidity was the distinguishing attribute of the Curved
Pedestrian.
Callidity is another word for craftiness; but for the exercise of the
reader’s ingenuity, we forbear to mention the person alluded to as so
remarkable for his astutious qualities.
Q. What species of _writing_ is most conducive to morality?
A. _Text_-hand.