HOSPITALITY
I bore this accident with an outward fortitude that was far from the
true state of my feelings. The doctor, seeing the even development of
my body, asked me if I was an athlete. Although I could scarcely claim
to be one, I had been able, without any training, and at any time, to
jump over a height of five feet; had also been a swimmer, and, when
occasion offered, had donned the gloves. Thinking of my present
helplessness caused me many a bitter moment, but I managed to impress
all comers with a false indifference.
What a kind-hearted race of people are these Canadians! Here was I, an
entire stranger among them, and yet every hour people were making
enquiries, and interesting themselves on my behalf, bringing and
sending books, grapes, bananas, and other delicacies for a sick man.
When a second operation was deemed necessary, the leg to be amputated
at the knee, the whole town was concerned, and the doctors had to give
strict injunctions not to admit such a number of kind hearted
visitors. At this time I was so weak of body, that it was hopeless to
expect recovery from this second operation. This was soon made
apparent to me by the doctor's question, as to whether I had any
message to send to my people, hinting that there was a slight
possibility of dying under the chloroform. A minister of the gospel
was also there, and his sympathetic face certainly made the dying seem
probable. Now, I have heard a great deal of dying men having a
foresight of things to be, but, I confess, that I was never more calm
in all my life than at this moment when death seemed so certain. I did
not for one instant believe or expect that these eyes would again open
to the light, after I had been in this low vital condition, deadened
and darkened for over two hours, whilst my body was being cut and sawn
like so much wood or stone. And yet I felt no terror of death. I had
been taken in a sleigh from the station to the hospital, over a mile
or more of snow; and the one thought that worried me most, when I was
supposed to be face to face with death, was whether the town lay
north, south, east or west from the hospital, and this, I believe, was
the last question I asked. After hearing an answer, I drew in the
chloroform in long breaths, thinking to assist the doctors in their
work. In spite of this, I have a faint recollection of struggling with
all my might against its effects, previous to losing consciousness;
but I was greatly surprised on being afterwards told that I had, when
in that condition, used more foul language in ten minutes' delirium
than had probably been used in twenty-four hours by the whole
population of Canada. It was explained to me that such language was
not unusual in cases of this kind, which consoled me not a little, but
I could not help wondering if the matron had been present, and if she
had confided in her daughter. The latter was a young girl of sixteen
years, or thereabouts, and was so womanly and considerate that her
mother could very well leave her in charge of the patients for the
whole day, although this had not been necessary during my stay.
For three days after this operation I hovered between life and death,
any breath expected to be my last. But in seven or eight days my
vitality, which must be considered wonderful, returned in a small way,
and I was then considered to be well out of danger. It was at this
time that the kindness of these people touched me to the heart. The
hospital was situated at the end of a long road, and all people, after
they had passed the last house, which was some distance away, were
then known to be visitors to the matron or one of her patients. On the
verandah outside sat the matron's dog, and, long before people were
close at hand, he barked, and so prepared us for their coming. When it
was known that I was convalescent, this dog was kept so busy barking
that his sharp clear voice became hoarse with the exertion. They came
single, they came in twos and threes; old people, young people and
children; until it became necessary to give them a more formal
reception, limiting each person or couple, as it might be, to a few
minutes' conversation. On hearing that I was fond of reading, books
were at once brought by their owners, or sent by others; some of which
I had not the courage to read nor the heart to return; judging them
wrongly perhaps by their titles of this character:--"Freddie's
Friend," "Little Billie's Button," and "Sally's Sacrifice." With such
good attendance within, and so much kindness from without, what wonder
that I was now fit to return to England, five weeks after the
accident, after having undergone two serious operations! My new
friends in that distant land would persuade me to remain, assuring me
of a comfortable living, but I decided to return to England as soon as
possible, little knowing what my experience would be in the years
following.
When the morning came for my departure, the matron, in a motherly way,
put her two hands on my shoulders and kissed me, her eyes being full
of tears. This, coming from a person whose business was to show no
emotion, doing which would make her unfit for her position, made me
forget the short laugh and the cold hand shake for which my mind had
prepared itself, and I felt my voice gone, and my throat in the
clutches of something new to my experience. I left without having the
voice to say good-bye. On my way I had to wish good-bye to every one
I met, and when, at last, this ordeal was over, and I was in the train
on my way back to Montreal, I felt that I was not yet strong enough to
travel; my courage forsook me, and I sat pale and despondent, for I
never expected to meet these people again, and they were true friends.
Soon I reached Montreal. Only two months had elapsed, and what a
difference now! Two months ago, and it was winter, snow was on the
earth, and the air was cold; but I was then full limbed, full of
vitality and good spirits, for summer like prospects golden and
glorious possessed me night and day. It was summer now, the earth was
dry and green, and the air warm, but winter was within me; for I felt
crushed and staggered on crutches to the danger of myself and the
people on my way. I soon got over this unpleasant feeling, roused by
the merry-makers aboard ship, the loudest and most persistent, strange
to say, being a one-legged man, who defied all Neptune's attempts to
make him walk unsteady. Seeing this man so merry, I knew that my
sensitiveness would soon wear off; and, seeing him so active was a
great encouragement. I was soon home again, having been away less than
four months; but all the wildness had been taken out of me, and my
adventures after this were not of my own seeking, but the result of
circumstances.