My Uncle Sosthenes was a Freethinker, like so many others are, from pure
stupidity; people are very often religious in the same way. The mere
sight of a priest threw him into a violent rage; he shook his fist and
grimaced at him, and touched a piece of iron when the priest's back was
turned, forgetting that the latter action showed a belief after all, the
belief in the evil eye. Now when beliefs are unreasonable one should
have all or none at all. I myself am a Freethinker; I revolt at all the
dogmas which have invented the fear of death, but I feel no anger
towards places of worship, be they Catholic, Apostolic, Roman,
Protestant, Greek, Russian, Buddhist, Jewish, or Mohammedan. I have a
peculiar manner of looking at them and explaining them. A place of
worship represents the homage paid by man to THE UNKNOWN. The more
extended our thoughts and our views become, the more _the unknown_
diminishes, and the more places of worship will decay. I, however, in
the place of church furniture, in the place of pulpits, reading desks,
altars, and so on, would fit them up with telescopes, microscopes, and
electrical machines; that is all.
My uncle and I differed on nearly every point. He was a patriot, while I
was not, for after all patriotism is a kind of religion; it is the egg
from which wars are hatched.
My uncle was a Freemason, and I used to declare that they are stupider
than old women devotees. That is my opinion, and I maintain it; if we
must have any religion at all the old one is good enough for me.
What is their object? Mutual help to be obtained by tickling the palms
of each other's hands. I see no harm in it, for they put into practice
the Christian precept: "Do unto others as ye would they should do unto
you." The only difference consists in the tickling, but it does not seem
worth while to make such a fuss about lending a poor devil half-a-crown.
To all my arguments my uncle's reply used to be:
"We are raising up a religion against a religion; Freethought will kill
clericalism. Freemasonry is the headquarters of those who are
demolishing all deities."
"Very well, my dear uncle," I would reply (in my heart I felt inclined
to say, "You old idiot!"); "it is just that which I am blaming you for.
Instead of destroying, you are organizing competition; it is only a case
of lowering the prices. And then, if you only admitted Freethinkers
among you I could understand it, but you admit anybody. You have a
number of Catholics among you, even the leaders of the party. Pius IX.
is said to have been one of you before he became Pope. If you call a
society with such an organization a bulwark against clericalism, I think
it is an extremely weak one."
"My dear boy," my uncle would reply, with a wink, "our most formidable
actions are political; slowly and surely we are everywhere undermining
the monarchical spirit."
Then I broke out: "Yes, you are very clever! If you tell me that
Freemasonry is an election-machine, I will grant it you. I will never
deny that it is used as a machine to control stove for candidates of
all shades; if you say that it is only used to hoodwink people, to drill
them to go to the voting-urn as soldiers are sent under fire, I agree
with you; if you declare that it is indispensable to all political
ambitions because it changes all its members into electoral agents, I
should say to you, 'That is as clear as the sun.' But when you tell me
that it serves to undermine the monarchical spirit, I can only laugh in
your face.
"Just consider that vast and democratic association which had Prince
Napoleon for its Grand Master under the Empire; which has the Crown
Prince for its Grand Master in Germany, the Czar's brother in Russia,
and to which the Prince of Wales and King Humbert and nearly all the
royalists of the globe belong."
"You are quite right," my uncle said; "but all these persons are serving
our projects without guessing it."