CHAPTER XXXV

Two years rolled over Beechwood--two uneventful years. The last of the

children ceased to be a child; and we prepared for that great era in

all household history, the first marriage in the family. It was to be

celebrated very quietly, as Edwin and Louise both desired. Time had

healed over many a pang, and taught many a soothing lesson; still it

could not be supposed that this marriage was without its painfulness.

Guy still remained abroad; his going had produced the happy result

intended. Month after month his letters came, each more hopeful than

the last, each bringing balm to the mother's heart. Then he wrote to

others beside his mother: Maud and Walter replied to him in long

home-histories; and began to talk without hesitation--nay, with great

pride and pleasure--"of my brother who is abroad."

The family wound was closing, the family peace about to be restored;

Maud even fancied Guy ought to come home to "our wedding;"--but then

she had never been told the whole of past circumstances; and, besides,

she was still too young to understand love matters. Yet so mercifully

had time smoothed down all things, that it sometimes appeared even to

us elders as if those three days of bitterness were a mere dream--as if

the year we dreaded had passed as calmly as any other year. Save that

in this interval Ursula's hair had begun to turn from brown to grey;

and John first mentioned, so cursorily that I cannot even now remember

when or where, that slight pain, almost too slight to complain of,

which he said warned him in climbing Enderley Hill that he could not

climb so fast as when he was young. And I returned his smile, telling

him we were evidently growing old men; and must soon set our faces to

descend the hill of life. Easy enough I was in saying this, thinking,

as I often did, with great content, that there was not the faintest

doubt which of us would reach the bottom first.

Yet I was glad to have safely passed my half century of life--glad to

have seen many of John's cares laid to rest, more especially those

external troubles which I have not lately referred to--for, indeed,

they were absorbed and forgotten in the home-troubles that came after.

He had lived down all slanders, as he said he would. Far and near

travelled the story of the day when Jessop's bank was near breaking;

far and near, though secretly--for we found it out chiefly by its

results--poor people whispered the tale of a gentleman who had been

attacked on the high roads, and whose only attempt at bringing the

robbers to justice was to help the widow of one and send the others

safe out of the country, at his own expense, not Government's. None of

these were notable or showy deeds--scarcely one of them got, even under

the disguise of asterisks, into the newspaper; the Norton Bury Mercury,

for its last dying sting, still complained (and very justly) that there

was not a gentleman in the county whose name so seldom headed a charity

subscription as that of John Halifax, Esquire, of Beechwood. But the

right made its way, as, soon or late, the right always does; he

believed his good name was able to defend itself, and it did defend

itself; he had faith in the only victory worth having--the universal

victory of Truth; and Truth conquered at last.

To drive with him across the country--he never carried pistols now,--or

to walk with him, as one day before Edwin's wedding we walked, a goodly

procession, through the familiar streets of Norton Bury, was a

perpetual pleasure to the rest of the family. Everybody knew him,

everybody greeted him, everybody smiled as he passed--as though his

presence and his recognition were good things to have and to win. His

wife often laughed, and said she doubted whether even Mr. O'Connell of

Derrynane, who was just now making a commotion in Ireland, lighting the

fire of religious and political discord from one end to the other of

County Clare;--she doubted if even Daniel O'Connell had more popularity

among his own people than John Halifax had in the primitive

neighbourhood where he had lived so long.

Mrs. Halifax herself was remarkably gay this morning. She had had

letters from Guy; together with a lovely present, for which he said he

had ransacked all the magazins des modes in Paris--a white embroidered

China shawl. It had arrived this morning--Lord Ravenel being the

bearer. This was not the first time by many that he had brought us

news of our Guy, and thereby made himself welcome at Beechwood. More

welcome than he might have been otherwise; for his manner of life was

so different from ours. Not that Lord Ravenel could be accused of any

likeness to his father; but blood is blood, and education and habits

are not to be easily overcome. The boys laughed at him for his

aristocratic, languid ways; Maud teased him for his mild cynicism and

the little interest he seemed to take in anything; while the mother

herself was somewhat restless about his coming, wondering what possible

good his acquaintance could do to us, or ours to him, seeing we moved

in totally different spheres. But John himself was invariably kind,

nay, tender over him--we all guessed why. And perhaps even had not the

young man had so many good points, while his faults were more negations

than positive ill qualities, we likewise should have been tender over

him--for Muriel's sake.

He had arrived at Beechwood this morning, and falling as usual into our

family routine, had come with us to Norton Bury. He looked up with

more interest than usual in his pensive eyes, as he crossed the

threshold of our old house, and told Maud how he had come there many

years ago with his father.

"That was the first time I ever met your father," I overheard him say

to Maud--not without feeling; as if he thought he owed fate some

gratitude for the meeting.

Mrs. Halifax, in the casual civil inquiry which was all the old earl

ever won in our house, asked after the health of Lord Luxmore.

"He is still at Compiegne. Does not Guy mention him? Lord Luxmore

takes the greatest pleasure in Guy's society."

By her start, this was evidently new and not welcome tidings to Guy's

mother. No wonder. Any mother in England would have shrank from the

thought that her best-beloved son--especially a young man of Guy's

temperament, and under Guy's present circumstances--was thrown into the

society which now surrounded the debauched dotage of the too-notorious

Earl of Luxmore.

"My son did not mention it. He has been too much occupied in business

matters to write home frequently, since he reached Paris. However his

stay there is limited;" and this seemed to relieve her. "I doubt if he

will have much time left to visit Compiegne."

She said no more than this, of course, to Lord Luxmore's son; but her

disquiet was sufficiently apparent.

"It was I who brought your son to Compiegne--where he is a universal

favourite, from his wit and liveliness. I know no one who is a more

pleasant companion than Guy."

Guy's mother bowed--but coldly.

"I think, Mrs. Halifax, you are aware that the earl's tastes and mine

differ widely--have always differed. But he is an old man, and I am

his only son. He likes to see me sometimes, and I go:--though, I must

confess, I take little pleasure in the circle he has around him."

"In which circle, as I understand, my son is constantly included?"

"Why not? It is a very brilliant circle. The whole court of Charles

Dix can afford none more amusing. For the rest, what matters? One

learns to take things as they seem, without peering below the surface.

One wearies of impotent Quixotism against unconquerable evils."

"That is not our creed at Beechwood," said Mrs. Halifax, abruptly, as

she ceased the conversation. But ever and anon it seemed to recur to

her mind--ay, through all the mirth of the young people, all the graver

pleasure which the father took in the happiness of his son Edwin; his

good son, who had never given him a single care. He declared this

settling of Edwin had been to him almost like the days when he himself

used to come of evenings, hammer in hand, to put up shelves in the

house, or nail the currant-bushes against the wall, doing everything

con amore, and with the utmost care, knowing it would come under the

quick observant eyes of Ursula March.

"That is, of Ursula Halifax--for I don't think I let her see a single

one of my wonderful doings until she was Ursula Halifax. Do you

remember, Phineas, when you came to visit us the first time, and found

us gardening?"

"And she had on a white gown and a straw hat with blue ribbons. What a

young thing she looked!--hardly older than Mistress Maud here."

John put his arm round his wife's waist--not so slender as it had been,

but comely and graceful still, repeating--with something of the musical

cadence of his boyish readings of poetry--a line or two from the sweet

old English song:

"And when with envy Time transported

Shall think to rob us of our joys,

You'll in your girls again be courted,

And I'll go wooing with my boys."

Ursula laughed, and for the time being the shadow passed from her

countenance. Her husband had happily not noticed it: and apparently,

she did not wish to tell him her trouble. She let him spend a happy

day, even grew happy herself in response to his care to make her so, by

the resolute putting away of all painful present thoughts, and calling

back of sweet and soothing memories belonging to this their old married

home. John seemed determined that, if possible, the marriage that was

to be should be as sacred and as hopeful as their own.

So full of it were we all, that not until the day after, when Lord

Ravenel had left us,--longing apparently to be asked to stay for the

wedding, but John did not ask him,--I remembered what he had said about

Guy's association with Lord Luxmore's set. It was recalled to me by

the mother's anxious face, as she gave me a foreign letter to post.

"Post it yourself, will you, Phineas? I would not have it miscarry, or

be late in its arrival, on any account."

No, for I saw it was to her son, at Paris.

"It will be the last letter I shall need to write," she added, again

lingering over it, to be certain that all was correct--the address

being somewhat illegible for that free, firm hand of hers. "My boy is

coming home."

"Guy coming home! To the marriage?"

"No; but immediately after. He is quite himself now. He longs to come

home."

"And his mother?"

His mother could not speak. Like light to her eyes, like life to her

heart, was the thought of Guy's coming home. All that week she looked

ten years younger. With a step buoyant as any girl's she went about

the marriage preparations; together with other preparations, perhaps

dearer still to the motherly heart, where, if any preference did lurk,

it was for the one for whom--possibly from whom--she had suffered most,

of all her children.

John, too, though the father's joy was graver and not unmixed with some

anxiety--anxiety which he always put aside in his wife's

presence--seemed eager to have his son at home.

"He is the eldest son," he repeated more than once, when talking to me

of his hope that Guy would now settle permanently at Beechwood. "After

myself, the head of the family."

After John! It was almost ridiculous to peer so far into the future as

that.

Of all the happy faces I saw the day before the marriage, I think the

happiest was Mrs. Halifax's, as I met her coming out of Guy's room,

which ever since he left had been locked up, unoccupied. Now his

mother threw open the door with a cheerful air.

"You may go in if you like, Uncle Phineas. Does it not look nice?"

It did indeed, with the fresh white curtains; the bed laid all in

order; the book-shelves arranged, and even the fowling-piece and

fishing-rod put in the right places.

The room looked very neat, I said, with an amused doubt as to how long

it was to remain so.

"That is true, indeed. How he used to throw his things about! A sad

untidy boy!" And his mother laughed; but I saw all her features were

trembling with emotion.

"He will not be exactly a boy now. I wonder if we shall find him much

changed."

"Very likely. Brown, with a great beard; he said so in one of his

letters. I shall hardly know my boy again."--With a lighting-up of the

eye that furnished a flat contradiction to the mother's statement.

"Here are some of Mrs. Tod's roses, I see."

"She made me take them. She said Master Guy always used to stop and

pick a bunch as he rode past. She hopes she shall see him ride past on

Sunday next. Guy must pay her one of his very first visits; the good

old soul!"

I hinted that Guy would have to pay visits half over the country, to

judge by the number of invitations I had heard of.

"Yes. Everybody wants to steal my boy. Everybody has a welcome for

him.--How bright old Watkins has polished that gun!--Sir Herbert says,

Guy must come over to the shooting next week. He used to be

exceedingly fond of going to the manor-house."

I smiled to see the innocent smile of this good mother, who would have

recoiled at the accusation of match-making. Yet I knew she was

thinking of her great favourite, pretty Grace Oldtower; who was Grace

Oldtower still, and had refused, gossip said, half the brilliant

matches in the county, to the amazement and strong disapprobation of

all her friends--excepting Mrs. Halifax.

"Come away, Phineas!" slightly sighing, as if her joy weighed her down,

or as if conscious that she was letting fancy carry her too far into

the unknown future. "His room is quite ready now, whatever time the

boy arrives. Come away."

She shut and locked the door. To be opened--when?

Morning broke, and none could have desired a brighter marriage-morning.

Sunshine out of doors--sunshine on all the faces within; only family

faces,--for no other guests had been invited, and we had kept the day

as secret as we could; there was nothing John disliked more than a

show-wedding. Therefore it was with some surprise that while they were

all up-stairs adorning themselves for church, Maud and I, standing at

the hall-door, saw Lord Ravenel's travelling carriage drive up to it,

and Lord Ravenel himself, with a quicker and more decided gesture than

was natural to him, spring out.

Maud ran into the porch; startling him much, apparently; for indeed she

was a sweet vision of youth, happiness, and grace, in her pretty

bridesmaid's dress.

"Is this the wedding-morning? I did not know--I will come again

to-morrow;" and he seemed eager to escape back to his carriage.

This action relieved me from a vague apprehension of ill tidings, and

made less painful the first question which rose to my lips, "Had he

seen Guy?"

"No."

"We thought for the moment it might be Guy come home," Maud cried. "We

are expecting him. Have you heard of him since we saw you? Is he

quite well?"

"I believe so."

I thought the answer brief; but then he was looking intently upon Guy's

sister, who held his hands in her childish, affectionate way; she had

not yet relinquished her privilege of being Lord Ravenel's "pet."

When, hesitatingly, he proposed returning to Luxmore, unwilling to

intrude upon the marriage, the little lady would not hear of it for a

moment. She took the unexpected guest to the study, left him there

with her father, explained to her mother all about his arrival and his

having missed seeing Guy--appearing entirely delighted.

I came into the drawing-room, and sat watching the sun shining on

marriage-garments and marriage-faces, all as bright as bright could

be,--including the mother's. It had clouded over for a few moments

when the postman's ring was heard; but she said at once that it was

most unlikely Guy would write--she had told him there was no need to

write. So she stood content, smoothing down the soft folds of her

beautiful shawl, which Guy meant her to wear to-day. This, together

with his fond remembrance of her, seemed almost as comfortable as the

visible presence of her boy. Her boy, who was sure to come to-morrow.

"John, is that you? How softly you came in. And Lord Ravenel! He

knows we are glad to see him. Shall we make him one of our own family

for the time being, and take him with us to see Edwin married?"

Lord Ravenel bowed.

"Maud tells us you have not seen Guy. I doubt if he will be able to

arrive to-day; but we fully expect him tomorrow."

Lord Ravenel bowed again. Mrs. Halifax said something about this

unexpected arrival of his.

"He came on business," John answered quickly, and Ursula made no more

inquiries.

She stood, talking with Lord Ravenel--as I could see her stand now,

playing with the deep fringe of her shawl; the sun glancing on that

rich silk dress, of her favourite silver-grey; a picture of matronly

grace and calm content, as charming as even the handsome, happy bride.

I was still looking at her, when John called me aside. I followed him

to the study.

"Shut the door."

By his tone and look I knew in a moment that something had happened.

"Yes. I'll tell you presently--if there's time."

While he was speaking some violent pain--physical or mental, or

both--seemed to seize him. I had my hand on the door to call Ursula,

but he held me fast with a kind of terror.

"Call no one. I am used to it. Water!"

He drank a glassful, which stood by, breathed once or twice heavily,

and gradually recovered himself. The colour had scarcely come back

into his face when he heard Maud run laughing through the hall.

"Father, where are you? We are waiting for you."

"I will come in two minutes, my child."

Having said this, in his own natural voice, he closed the door again,

and spoke to me rapidly.

"Phineas, I want you to stay away from church; make some excuse, or I

will for you. Write a letter for me to this address in Paris.

Say--Guy Halifax's father will be there, without fail, within a week,

to answer all demands."

"All demands!" I echoed, bewildered.

He repeated the sentence word for word. "Can you remember it?

Literally, mind! And post it at once, before we return from church."

Here the mother's call was heard. "John, are you coming?"

"In a moment, love," for her hand was on the door outside; but her

husband held the other handle fast. He then went on, breathlessly,

"You understand, Phineas? And you will be careful, very careful? SHE

MUST NOT KNOW--not till tonight."

"One word. Guy is alive and well?"

"Yes--yes."

"Thank God!"

But Guy's father was gone while I spoke. Heavy as the news might

be--this ill news which had struck me with apprehension the moment I

saw Lord Ravenel--it was still endurable. I could not conjure up any

grief so bitter as the boy's dying.

Therefore, with a quietness that came naturally under the compulsion of

such a necessity as the present, I rejoined the rest, made my excuses,

and answered all objections. I watched the marriage-party leave the

house. A simple procession--the mother first, leaning on Edwin; then

Maud, Walter, and Lord Ravenel; John walked last, with Louise upon his

arm. Thus I saw them move up the garden, and through the beech-wood,

to the little church on the hill.

I then wrote the letter and sent it off. That done, I went back into

the study. Knowing nothing--able to guess nothing--a dull patience

came over me, the patience with which we often wait for unknown,

inevitable misfortunes. Sometimes I almost forgot Guy in my startled

remembrance of his father's look as he called me away, and sat down--or

rather dropped down--into his chair. Was it illness? yet he had not

complained; he hardly ever complained, and scarcely had a day's

sickness from year to year. And as I watched him and Louise up the

garden, I had noticed his free, firm gait, without the least sign of

unsteadiness or weakness. Besides, he was not one to keep any but a

necessary secret from those who loved him. He could not be seriously

ill, or we should have known it.

Thus I pondered, until I heard the church bells ring out merrily. The

marriage was over.

I was just in time to meet them at the front gates, which they

entered--our Edwin and his wife--through a living line of smiling

faces, treading upon a carpet of strewn flowers. Enderley would not be

defrauded of its welcome--all the village escorted the young couple in

triumph home. I have a misty recollection of how happy everybody

looked, how the sun was shining, and the bells ringing, and the people

cheering--a mingled phantasmagoria of sights and sounds, in which I

only saw one person distinctly,--John.

He waited while the young folk passed in--stood on the hall-steps--in a

few words thanked his people, and bade them to the general rejoicing.

They, uproarious, answered in loud hurrahs, and one energetic voice

cried out:

"One cheer more for Master Guy!"

Guy's mother turned delighted--her eyes shining with proud tears.

"John--thank them; tell them that Guy will thank them himself

to-morrow."

The master thanked them, but either he did not explain--or the honest

rude voices drowned all mention of the latter fact--that Guy would be

home to-morrow.

All this while, and at the marriage-breakfast likewise, Mr. Halifax

kept the same calm demeanour. Once only, when the rest were all

gathered round the bride and bridegroom, he said to me:

"Phineas, is it done?"

"What is done?" asked Ursula, suddenly passing.

"A letter I asked him to write for me this morning."

Now I had all my life been proud of John's face--that it was a safe

face to trust in--that it could not, or if it could, it would not,

boast that stony calm under which some men are so proud of disguising

themselves and their emotions from those nearest and dearest to them.

If he were sad, we knew it; if he were happy, we knew it too. It was

his principle, that nothing but the strongest motive should make a man

stoop to even the smallest hypocrisy.

Therefore, hearing him thus speak to his wife, I was struck with great

alarm. Mrs. Halifax herself seemed uneasy.

"A business letter, I suppose?"

"Partly on business. I will tell you all about it this evening."

She looked re-assured. "Just as you like; you know I am not curious."

But passing on, she turned back. "John, if it was anything important

to be done--anything that I ought to know at once, you would not keep

me in ignorance?"

"No--my dearest! No!"

Then what had happened must be something in which no help availed;

something altogether past and irremediable; something which he rightly

wished to keep concealed, for a few hours at least, from his other

children, so as not to mar the happiness of this day, of which there

could be no second, this crowning day of their lives--this wedding-day

of Edwin and Louise.

So, he sat at the marriage-table; he drank the marriage-health; he gave

them both a marriage-blessing. Finally, he sent them away, smiling and

sorrowful--as is the bounden duty of young married couples to

depart--Edwin pausing even on the carriage-step to embrace his mother

with especial tenderness, and whisper her to "give his love to Guy."

"It reminds one of Guy's leaving," said the mother, hastily brushing

back the tears that would spring and roll down her smiling face. She

had never, until this moment, reverted to that miserable day. "John,

do you think it possible the boy can be at home to-night?"

John answered emphatically, but very softly, "No."

"Why not? My letter would reach him in full time. Lord Ravenel has

been to Paris and back since then. But--" turning full upon the young

nobleman--"I think you said you had not seen Guy?"

"No."

"Did you hear anything of him?"

"I--Mrs. Halifax--"

Exceedingly distressed, almost beyond his power of self-restraint, the

young man looked appealingly to John, who replied for him:

"Lord Ravenel brought me a letter from Guy this morning."

"A letter from Guy--and you never told me. How very strange!"

Still, she seemed only to think it "strange." Some difficulty or folly

perhaps--you could see by the sudden flushing of her cheek, and her

quick, distrustful glance at Lord Ravenel, what she imagined it

was--that the boy had confessed to his father. With an instinct of

concealment--the mother's instinct--for the moment she asked no

questions.

We were all still standing at the hall-door. Unresisting, she suffered

her husband to take her arm in his and bring her into the study.

"Now--the letter, please! Children, go away; I want to speak to your

father. The letter, John?"

Her hand, which she held out, shook much. She tried to unfold the

paper--stopped, and looked up piteously.

"It is not to tell me he is not coming home? I can bear anything, you

know--but he MUST come."

John only answered, "Read,"--and took firm hold of her hand while she

read--as we hold the hand of one undergoing great torture,--which must

be undergone, and which no human love can either prepare for, or

remove, or alleviate.

The letter, which I saw afterwards, was thus:

"DEAR FATHER AND MOTHER,

"I have disgraced you all. I have been drunk--in a gaming-house. A man

insulted me--it was about my father--but you will hear--all the world

will hear presently. I struck him--there was something in my hand,

and--the man was hurt.

"He may be dead by this time. I don't know.

"I am away to America to-night. I shall never come home any more. God

bless you all.

"GUY HALIFAX.

"P.S. I got my mother's letter to-day. Mother--I was not in my right

senses, or I should not have done it. Mother, darling! forget me.

Don't let me have broken your heart."

Alas, he had broken it!

"Never come home any more!-- Never come home any more!"

She repeated this over and over again, vacantly: nothing but these

five words.

Nature refused to bear it; or rather, Nature mercifully helped her to

bear it. When John took his wife in his arms she was insensible; and

remained so, with intervals, for hours.

This was the end of Edwin's wedding-day.

John Halifax, Gentleman · 第 35 / 40 章