I had, for some time past, dwelt upon the prospect of our being reduced
to this last horrible extremity, and had secretly made up my mind to
suffer death in any shape or under any circumstances rather than resort
to such a course. Nor was this resolution in any degree weakened by the
present intensity of hunger under which I laboured. The proposition had
not been heard by either Peters or Augustus. I therefore took Parker
aside; and mentally praying to God for power to dissuade him from the
horrible purpose he entertained, I expostulated with him for a long
time and in the most supplicating manner, begging him in the name of
everything which he held sacred, and urging him by every species of
argument which the extremity of the case suggested, to abandon the
idea, and not to mention it to either of the other two.
He heard all I said without attempting to controvert any of my
arguments, and I had begun to hope that he would be prevailed upon to
do as I desired. But when I had ceased speaking, he said that he knew
very well all I had said was true, and that to resort to such a course
was the most horrible alternative which could enter into the mind of
man; but that he had now held out as long as human nature could be
sustained; that it was unnecessary for all to perish, when, by the
death of one, it was possible, and even probable, that the rest might
be finally preserved; adding that I might save myself the trouble of
trying to turn him from his purpose, his mind having been thoroughly
made up on the subject even before the appearance of the ship, and that
only her heaving in sight had prevented him from mentioning his
intention at an earlier period.
I now begged him, if he would not be prevailed upon to abandon his
design, at least to defer it for another day, when some vessel might
come to our relief; again reiterating every argument I could devise,
and which I thought likely to have influence with one of his rough
nature. He said, in reply, that he had not spoken until the very last
possible moment; that he could exist no longer without sustenance of
some kind; and that therefore in another day his suggestion would be
too late, as regarded himself at least.
Finding that he was not to be moved by anything I could say in a mild
tone, I now assumed a different demeanour, and told him that he must be
aware I had suffered less than any of us from our calamities; that my
health and strength, consequently, were at that moment far better than
his own, or than that either of Peters or Augustus; in short, that I
was in a condition to have my own way by force if I found it necessary;
and that, if he attempted in any manner to acquaint the others with his
bloody and cannibal designs, I would not hesitate to throw him into the
sea. Upon this he immediately seized me by the throat, and drawing a
knife, made several ineffectual efforts to stab me in the stomach; an
atrocity which his excessive debility alone prevented him from
accomplishing. In the mean time, being roused to a high pitch of anger,
I forced him to the vessel's side, with the full intention of throwing
him overboard. He was saved from this fate, however, by the
interference of Peters, who now approached and separated us, asking the
cause of the disturbance. This Parker told before I could find means in
any manner to prevent him.
The effect of his words was even more terrible than what I had
anticipated. Both Augustus and Peters, who, it seems, had long secretly
entertained the same fearful idea which Parker had been merely the
first to broach, joined with him in his design, and insisted upon its
being immediately carried into effect. I had calculated that one at
least of the two former would be found still possessed of sufficient
strength of mind to side with myself in resisting any attempt to
execute so dreadful a purpose; and, with the aid of either one of them,
I had no fear of being able to prevent its accomplishment. Being
disappointed in this expectation, it became absolutely necessary that I
should attend to my own safety, as a further resistance on my part
might possibly be considered by men in their frightful condition a
sufficient excuse for refusing me fair play in the tragedy that I knew
would speedily be enacted.
I now told them I was willing to submit to the proposal, merely
requesting a delay of about one hour, in order that the fog which had
gathered around us might have an opportunity of lifting, when it was
possible that the ship we had seen might be again in sight. After great
difficulty I obtained from them a promise to wait thus long; and, as I
had anticipated (a breeze rapidly coming in), the fog lifted before the
hour had expired, when, no vessel appearing in sight, we prepared to
draw lots.
It is with extreme reluctance that I dwell upon the appalling scene
which ensued; a scene which, with its minutest details, no after events
have been able to efface in the slightest degree from my memory, and
whose stern recollection will imbitter every future moment of my
existence. Let me run over this portion of my narrative with as much
haste as the nature of the events to be spoken of will permit. The only
method we could devise for the terrific lottery, in which we were to
take each a chance, was that of drawing straws. Small splinters of wood
were made to answer our purpose, and it was agreed that I should be the
holder. I retired to one end of the hulk, while my poor companions
silently took up their station in the other with their backs turned
towards me. The bitterest anxiety which I endured at any period of this
fearful drama was while I occupied myself in the arrangement of the
lots. There are few conditions into which man can possibly fall where
he will not feel a deep interest in the preservation of his existence;
an interest momentarily increasing with the frailness of the tenure by
which that existence may be held. But now that the silent, definite,
and stern nature of the business in which I was engaged (so different
from the tumultuous dangers of the storm or the gradually approaching
horrors of famine) allowed me to reflect on the few chances I had of
escaping the most appalling of deaths--a death for the most appalling
of purposes--every particle of that energy which had so long buoyed me
up departed like feathers before the wind, leaving me a helpless prey
to the most abject and pitiable terror. I could not, at first, even
summon up sufficient strength to tear and fit together the small
splinters of wood, my fingers absolutely refusing their office, and my
knees knocking violently against each other. My mind ran over rapidly a
thousand absurd projects by which to avoid becoming a partner in the
awful speculation. I thought of falling on my knees to my companions,
and entreating them to let me escape this necessity; of suddenly
rushing upon them, and, by putting one of them to death, of rendering
the decision by lot useless--in short, of everything but of going
through with the matter I had in hand. At last, after wasting a long
time in this imbecile conduct, I was recalled to my senses by the voice
of Parker, who urged me to relieve them at once from the terrible
anxiety they were enduring. Even then I could not bring myself to
arrange the splinters upon the spot, but thought over every species of
finesse by which I could trick some one of my fellow-sufferers to draw
the short straw, as it had been agreed that whoever drew the shortest
of four splinters from my hand was to die for the preservation of the
rest. Before any one condemn me for this apparent heartlessness, let
him be placed in a situation precisely similar to my own.
At length delay was no longer possible, and, with a heart almost
bursting from my bosom, I advanced to the region of the forecastle,
where my companions were awaiting me. I held out my hand with the
splinters, and Peters immediately drew. He was free--_his_, at least,
was not the shortest; and there was now another chance against my
escape. I summoned up all my strength, and passed the lots to Augustus.
He also drew immediately, and he also was free; and now, whether I
should live or die, the chances were no more than precisely even. At
this moment all the fierceness of the tiger possessed my bosom, and I
felt towards my poor fellow-creature, Parker, the most intense, the
most diabolical hatred. But the feeling did not last; and, at length,
with a convulsive shudder and closed eyes, I held out the two remaining
splinters towards him. It was full five minutes before he could summon
resolution to draw, during which period of heartrending suspense I
never once opened my eyes. Presently one of the two lots was quickly
drawn from my hand. The decision was then over, yet I knew not whether
it was for me or against me. No one spoke, and still I dared not
satisfy myself by looking at the splinter I held. Peters at length took
me by the hand, and I forced myself to look up, when I immediately saw
by the countenance of Parker that I was safe, and that he it was who
had been doomed to suffer. Gasping for breath, I fell senseless to the
deck.
I recovered from my swoon in time to behold the consummation of the
tragedy in the death of him who had been chiefly instrumental in
bringing it about. He made no resistance whatever, and was stabbed in
the back by Peters, when he fell instantly dead. I must not dwell upon
the fearful repast which immediately ensued. Such things may be
imagined, but words have no power to impress the mind with the
exquisite horror of their reality. Let it suffice to say that, having
in some measure appeased the raging thirst which consumed us by the
blood of the victim, and having by common consent taken off the hands,
feet, and head, throwing them, together with the entrails, into the
sea, we devoured the rest of the body, piecemeal, during the four ever
memorable days of the seventeenth, eighteenth, nineteenth, and
twentieth of the month.
On the nineteenth, there coming on a smart shower which lasted fifteen
or twenty minutes, we contrived to catch some water by means of a sheet
which had been fished up from the cabin by our drag just after the
gale. The quantity we took in all did not amount to more than half a
gallon; but even this scanty allowance supplied us with comparative
strength and hope.
On the twenty-first we were again reduced to the last necessity. The
weather still remained warm and pleasant, with occasional fogs and
light breezes, most usually from N. to W.
On the twenty-second, as we were sitting close huddled together,
gloomily revolving over our lamentable condition, there flashed through
my mind all at once an idea which inspired me with a bright gleam of
hope. I remembered that, when the foremast had been cut away, Peters,
being in the windward chains, passed one of the axes into my hand,
requesting me to put it, if possible, in a place of security, and that
a few minutes before the last heavy sea struck the brig and filled her
I had taken this axe into the forecastle, and laid it in one of the
larboard berths. I now thought it possible that, by getting at this
axe, we might cut through the deck over the storeroom, and thus readily
supply ourselves with provisions.
When I communicated this project to my companions, they uttered a
feeble shout of joy, and we all proceeded forthwith to the forecastle.
The difficulty of descending here was greater than that of going down
in the cabin, the opening being much smaller, for it will be remembered
that the whole framework about the cabin companion-hatch had been
carried away, whereas the forecastle-way, being a simple hatch of only
about three feet square, had remained uninjured. I did not hesitate,
however, to attempt the descent; and, a rope being fastened round my
body as before, I plunged boldly in, feet foremost, made my way quickly
to the berth, and, at the very first attempt, brought up the axe. It
was hailed with the most ecstatic joy and triumph, and the ease with
which it had been obtained was regarded as an omen of our ultimate
preservation.
We now commenced cutting at the deck with all the energy of rekindled
hope, Peters and myself taking the axe by turns, Augustus's wounded arm
not permitting him to aid us in any degree. As we were still so feeble
as to be scarcely able to stand unsupported, and could consequently
work but a minute or two without resting, it soon became evident that
many long hours would be requisite to accomplish our task--that is, to
cut an opening sufficiently large to admit of a free access to the
storeroom. This consideration, however, did not discourage us; and,
working all night by the light of the moon, we succeeded in effecting
our purpose by daybreak on the morning of the twenty-third.
Peters now volunteered to go down; and, having made all arrangements as
before, he descended, and soon returned, bringing up with him a small
jar, which, to our great joy, proved to be full of olives. Having
shared these among us, and devoured them with the greatest avidity, we
proceeded to let him down again. This time he succeeded beyond our
utmost expectations, returning instantly with a large ham and a bottle
of Madeira wine. Of the latter we each took a moderate sup, having
learned by experience the pernicious consequences of indulging too
freely. The ham, except about two pounds near the bone, was not in a
condition to be eaten, having been entirely spoiled by the salt water.
The sound part was divided among us. Peters and Augustus, not being
able to restrain their appetite, swallowed theirs upon the instant; but
I was more cautious, and ate but a small portion of mine, dreading the
thirst which I knew would ensue. We now rested a while from our
labours, which had been intolerably severe.
By noon, feeling somewhat strengthened and refreshed, we again renewed
our attempt at getting up provision, Peters and myself going down
alternately, and always with more or less success, until sundown.
During this interval we had the good fortune to bring up, altogether,
four more small jars of olives, another ham, a carboy containing nearly
three gallons of excellent Cape Madeira wine, and, what gave us still
more delight, a small tortoise of the Gallipago breed, several of which
had been taken on board by Captain Barnard, as the Grampus was leaving
port, from the schooner Mary Pitts, just returned from a sealing voyage
in the Pacific.
In a subsequent portion of this narrative I shall have frequent
occasion to mention this species of tortoise. It is found principally,
as most of my readers may know, in the group of islands called the
Gallipagos, which, indeed, derive their name from the animal--the
Spanish word Gallipago meaning a fresh-water terapin. From the
peculiarity of their shape and action they have been sometimes called
the elephant tortoise. They are frequently found of an enormous size. I
have myself seen several which would weigh from twelve to fifteen
hundred pounds, although I do not remember that any navigator speaks of
having seen them weighing more than eight hundred. Their appearance is
singular, and even disgusting. Their steps are very slow, measured, and
heavy, their bodies being carried about a foot from the ground. Their
neck is long, and exceedingly slender; from eighteen inches to two feet
is a very common length, and I killed one, where the distance from the
shoulder to the extremity of the head was no less than three feet ten
inches. The head has a striking resemblance to that of a serpent. They
can exist without food for an almost incredible length of time,
instances having been known where they have been thrown into the hold
of a vessel and lain two years without nourishment of any kind--being
as fat, and, in every respect, in as good order at the expiration of
the time as when they were first put in. In one particular these
extraordinary animals bear a resemblance to the dromedary, or camel of
the desert. In a bag at the root of the neck they carry with them a
constant supply of water. In some instances, upon killing them after a
full year's deprivation of all nourishment, as much as three gallons of
perfectly sweet and fresh water have been found in their bags. Their
food is chiefly wild parsley and celery, with purslain, sea-kelp, and
prickly pears, upon which latter vegetable they thrive wonderfully, a
great quantity of it being usually found on the hillsides near the
shore wherever the animal itself is discovered. They are excellent and
highly nutritious food, and have, no doubt, been the means of
preserving the lives of thousands of seamen employed in the
whale-fishery and other pursuits in the Pacific.
The one which we had the good fortune to bring up from the storeroom
was not of a large size, weighing probably sixty-five or seventy
pounds. It was a female, and in excellent condition, being exceedingly
fat, and having more than a quart of limpid and sweet water in its bag.
This was indeed a treasure; and, falling on our knees with one accord,
we returned fervent thanks to God for so seasonable a relief.
We had great difficulty in getting the animal up through the opening,
as its struggles were fierce and its strength prodigious. It was upon
the point of making its escape from Peters's grasp, and slipping back
into the water, when Augustus, throwing a rope with a slip-knot around
its throat, held it up in this manner until I jumped into the hole by
the side of Peters, and assisted him in lifting it out.
The water we drew carefully from the bag into the jug, which, it will
be remembered, had been brought up before from the cabin. Having done
this, we broke off the neck of a bottle so as to form, with the cork, a
kind of glass, holding not quite half a gill. We then each drank one of
these measures full, and resolved to limit ourselves to this quantity
per day as long as it should hold out.
During the last two or three days, the weather having been dry and
pleasant, the bedding we had obtained from the cabin, as well as our
clothing, had become thoroughly dry, so that we passed this night (that
of the twenty-third) in comparative comfort, enjoying a tranquil
repose, after having supped plentifully on olives and ham, with a small
allowance of the wine. Being afraid of losing some of our stores
overboard during the night, in the event of a breeze springing up, we
secured them as well as possible with cordage to the fragments of the
windlass. Our tortoise, which we were anxious to preserve alive as long
as we could, we threw on his back, and otherwise carefully fastened.