PENELOPE:
OR,
LOVE’S LABOUR LOST.
PENELOPE:
OR,
LOVE’S LABOUR LOST.
A NOVEL.
IN THREE VOLUMES.
III.
LONDON:
PRINTED FOR HUNT AND CLARKE,
YORK STREET, COVENT GARDEN.
1828.
LONDON:
PRINTED BY C. H. REYNELL. BROAD STREET, GOLDEN SQUARE.
PENELOPE:
OR,
LOVES LABOUR LOST.
CHAPTER I.
Whether Miss Glossop had been fascinated by the charms of Colonel
Crop’s conversation, and therefore was desirous of meeting the
gentleman again, or whether the young lady had learned from any
source of information that Lord Spoonbill was at the castle, and she
was anxious to obtain a sight of so great an ornament to the British
peerage, we cannot tell. But it so happened, that on the morning after
Colonel Crop had dined at Neverden Hall, this young lady felt herself
disposed to take a stroll, and she wandered in her strolling as far as
the gates of Smatterton park.
The gates stood half open, and there seemed to be every symptom
of a thoroughfare. At least, she thought, that it would be no
mighty trespass to walk into the park and to catch a glimpse of the
magnificent castle. The castle, though very splendid, and furnished
in very costly style, was not much of a show house. It was not open
to the public on any set days; but when the family was absent the
housekeeper, or the old butler, or occasionally some inferior servant
of the establishment, put a trifle into their pockets by gratifying the
curiosity of strangers.
Miss Glossop admired most prodigiously the picturesque disposition of
the plantations in the park, and when at a bend in the path the mighty
castle shewed its gorgeous and turreted front, the lady could not
resist the impulse of curiosity and admiration, to advance nearer and
nearer still. We are not quite sure that, as she approached nearer to
the grand patrician structure, she did not assume and display mightily
graceful airs. But at all events it is a fact, that the heir of the
Smatterton title and estate espied from his dressing-room window the
fair stranger, and his lordship actually had the vanity to imagine that
it could be no other than Penelope Primrose.
Under this impression he hastened down to meet and greet the fair one.
Most happy was his lordship when, as he knew that he must be seen
approaching the lady, he did not observe that she made any shew of
retreating, or displayed any symptoms of aversion. But his lordship was
very near-sighted, and great was his surprise on drawing near, so near
as to be within reach of speaking, to find that he had miscalculated.
Miss Glossop had never seen Lord Spoonbill before, and though his
lordship did not announce himself, the young lady took it for granted
that it could be no other. Assuming a most ridiculous air, and
speaking with the utmost affectation of tone and cadence, the lady, as
they met, and explained that the meeting was a mistake, expressed a
hope that she had not intruded by walking into the park.
“By no means, madam,” replied the courteous Lord Spoonbill.
“I took the liberty of entering the park,” said Miss Glossop, “as I
understood that the family was not in the country at this time.”
“The family is not down at present,” said Lord Spoonbill.
The young lady was at a loss to know who it was that addressed her;
and equally at a loss was his lordship to know the name and quality
of the lady whom he addressed. But as she was rather pretty, his
lordship was politely attentive, and carried his courtesy so far as to
offer to conduct her through the state apartments of the castle. The
offer was in every respect too gratifying to be refused. Miss Glossop
had a taste for splendor, and that taste was amply gratified by the
furniture, decorations, and dimensions of the state apartments.
Come, gentle reader, you may be worse employed than in accompanying
Miss Glossop and Lord Spoonbill round the grand and magnificent
apartments of Smatterton castle. They ascended a broad and lofty
flight of steps, and passed through a pair of enormously broad and
high folding mahogany doors, studded apparently with large iron
square-headed nails. Above the door was a great black wooden portcullis.
The great hall, into which this mighty entrance admitted the visitor,
was appropriately decorated with suits of armour, made on purpose,
banners of the most splendid silk that Spitalfields could weave, and
on these banners the Spoonbill arms were in various modes and parts
displayed.
But as the hall would have been incomplete as to its decorations
without a proper supply of family portraits, these also in great
abundance decorated the walls and filled up the spaces between the
suits of armour. This ancestral collection of portraits was not made
with the best judgment; for according to the account given by the
butler, when he exhibited the wonders of Smatterton castle, the Right
Honorable the Earl of Smatterton had a larger number of grandfathers
and great grandfathers than usually falls to the lot of one individual,
however great his dignity or however high his rank.
One violation of propriety must however be noticed in this magnificent
hall, and that is, that the variegated and comprehensive taste of the
noble owner had seen fit to add to its other decorations a collection
of busts, vases, and statues, of divers degrees and gradations of
sculptural merit, and bringing together manifold incongruities of
association. Yet it must be confessed that, in the eyes and to the
taste of Miss Glossop, the whole scene was truly magnificent, and the
white alabaster vases were, by their brightness, a fine relief to the
old brown family pictures, and the sable dinginess of the various suits
of armour.
After gazing about on the grand scene which surrounded her, and by
various exclamations of admiration expressing her sense of the great
magnificence of the apartment, Miss Glossop summed up the result of
all the particular and individual emotions of admiration by assuming
an affected attitude, lifting up her eyes and hands and voice, saying,
“How truly superb!”
For such a compliment, and from such lips, and accompanied with such
an attitude, and uttered in such a tone, the Right Honorable Lord
Spoonbill could not, of course, be ungrateful. His lordship therefore
expressed himself pleased that the lady could see anything worthy of
admiration. Lord Spoonbill however was not quite so great a simpleton
as not to discern that the lady to whom he was exhibiting the wonders
of Smatterton castle, was very silly and very affected; and as his
lordship, in acknowledging the politeness of the lady in expressing so
heartily her commendation of the taste displayed in the decorations of
the great hall, betrayed himself to be one of the Spoonbill family, and
no other than the very heir to the title and estate; and as the lady
on this discovery, or more properly speaking on this corroboration of
her suspicions, did set herself forth to display still finer graces and
more ridiculous airs, his lordship thought it no little amusement to
provoke and observe the silly one’s affectations.
From the great hall they proceeded to the saloon, which for variety’s
sake was decorated in a fashion not the same as the hall, but almost
as different as possible. The hall was dark, and the saloon was light,
and its furniture and decorations were in the most modern taste. The
pictures were numerous, but the splendor of their frames was sufficient
to eclipse the glories of the canvass, and as the chairs and the
mouldings of the room were also profusely covered with gold, the
apartment looked very much like the shop of a carver and gilder and
picture-frame-maker.
The wicked libellers of the gentler sex have, in some of their
satirical descriptions, represented the female heart as being strongly
smitten with the love of gold. Be this true or not, it is very certain
that the young lady shewed symptoms of being quite thunderstruck at the
splendor of this grand saloon.
“This is superb, indeed!” exclaimed Miss Glossop; “and these pictures,
my lord, I presume, are all originals by the very first masters.”
“Not all originals,” modestly replied his lordship.
“But by the first masters, no doubt,” responded Miss Glossop.
To this remark his lordship made no reply. And the young lady, though
feeling a great respect for his lordship, was not struck dumb with
awe at being in the presence of Lord Spoonbill; but rather on the
contrary, her eloquence was rather greater than usual. Then did she
launch forth into a very knowing discussion on the subject of painting
and drawing, and all that sort of thing. But, as all her information on
that head had been derived from a country drawing master, who taught
flower and shell painting, not much was said by the young lady which
need to be recorded, and indeed nothing that can throw much light on
the history of painting, or on the graphic art in general.
The saloon opened into the library. Books cannot bear quite so much
gold as pictures, but as much as they could decently bear, and perhaps
rather more, was lavished on the bindings in Lord Smatterton’s library.
Again, the eloquence of Miss Glossop was excited, and literature was
her theme.
“What an inexhaustible treasure, my lord,” exclaimed the astonished
lady, “your lordship must have in so extensive a library!”
“Very,” replied his lordship, who had never thought of attempting to
exhaust a treasure of this kind.
The remarks which Miss Glossop made on books, were no doubt very
sensible remarks; for they were for the most part such as had stood
the test of ages, and such as had been uttered by tongues innumerable,
and assented to by nods as innumerable. Our readers are requested to
excuse us if we, for brevity’s sake, take the liberty to omit the
judgment which Miss Glossop was pleased to pass on Milton, Shakspeare,
Byron, Scott, and Moore, and many others. They will find this judgment
elsewhere recorded.
The library opened into the music room. This apartment was well filled
with musical instruments of various descriptions. There stood at one
end a grand pianoforte, and at the other a still grander organ. Now
will it be believed that Miss Glossop actually wished to give his
lordship proof of her musical talents, not merely by talking on the
subject, as she did most fluently, but also by an express display of
her own performance! His lordship fancied that he saw symptoms of such
a wish, and he gave a suggestion accordingly; observing that in his
opinion the horizontal pianoforte was best adapted to large apartments.
To this opinion Miss Glossop gave of course an unqualified assent, and
in giving this assent approached the instrument as if accidentally.
“Perhaps,” said his lordship, “you would like to try the effect of that
piano; I believe it is one of very singular power?”
The instrument was partly open. Miss Glossop, without taking off her
glove, rattled the keys as if to ascertain the power. The young lady
took care to make this accidental touch as complete a manifestation
as possible of the facility and taste with which her fingers could
scramble over the keys.
His lordship remarked that the young lady seemed to be quite mistress
of the art, and observed that there were books of almost every
description of music, and he went so far as to request that she would
favour him with a specimen of the tone and compass of the instrument,
for he was exceedingly partial to music, and had not yet had the
pleasure of hearing any regular performance on that pianoforte since it
had been brought down to Smatterton.
Miss Glossop blushed deeply at the request, and begged to be excused;
but his lordship would take no refusal; and Miss Glossop, thinking
that, as the request came from a lord, there could not be so much
impropriety in complying with it as if it had been from a stranger of
inferior rank, forthwith yielded to the pressing importunity, and sat
down.
His lordship was not a little amused with the ridiculous airs which
the performer assumed, and seeing that there was much vanity and
weakness in the constitution of the lady’s mind, he did most wickedly
and cruelly encourage her to proceed. Now by the compliments which his
lordship paid to the performance, the affectation of the performer was
encreased. Then Lord Spoonbill proceeded to intimate a wish that the
fair stranger would also add to the beauty of the music by her vocal
powers. Thereupon rose another blush, and thereupon followed another
refusal. But it is not decorous to refuse the requests of lords so very
pertinaciously, and Miss Glossop thought that the music-room was so
excellently well constructed for the display of a fine voice, that it
would be cruel to herself to deny herself as well as his lordship the
gratification of hearing that voice. After therefore as much refusal as
she thought due to her dignity, she complied with this request too, and
Miss Glossop strained her throat very much to her own admiration and to
Lord Spoonbill’s amusement.
Lord Spoonbill was certainly not a considerate man; that our readers
have already discovered, or they must be obtuse indeed. It was by no
means becoming in an hereditary legislator thus to amuse himself at the
expense of a vain and weak young woman. But it does sometimes happen,
that young men of high rank and of selfish habits think nothing of the
pain and mortification which they occasion to others in the pursuit
of their own pleasures and amusements. The simple circumstance of
preferring one’s own interest to that of another deserves not perhaps
so great vituperation as it sometimes receives; but to inflict pain and
mortification upon another merely for a transient and slight amusement
is base and unfeeling.
We have made the above remarks because we are unwilling by any omission
to incur the reproach of being insensible to the feelings of our
fellow-creatures. It is very true that Miss Glossop was vain, weak,
and affected; it may also be very true that fools ought to take the
consequences of their own folly. But it is cruel, mean, and illiberal,
to make sport of a weak mind merely because it is weak; and none but
such a puppy as Lord Spoonbill would have acted thus.
Of the progress of the young lady and his lordship through the other
apartments of the castle, we have nothing particular to record. Our
readers will very naturally suppose that the dining and drawing rooms
were decorated as profusely as the other rooms; and that as much
approbation and delight were expressed by Miss Glossop in surveying
them, as she had lavished on those apartments which she had passed
through before.
Many acknowledgments of his lordship’s politeness were made by the
young lady when she took her leave of the castle, and very politely
did his lordship express his high gratification that there had been
anything in the castle worth her notice.
With light and cheerful step did Miss Glossop return to Neverden,
proud of the honor of her interview with Lord Spoonbill. Speedily but
carefully did her recollection run over all that she had said to his
lordship and all that his lordship had said to her. And her thoughts
exulted in the anticipation of the pleasure which she should experience
in quoting hereafter the opinion of Lord Spoonbill on various topics
connected with the fine arts and literature.
She was desirous of recollecting the subjects of as many of the
pictures as she possibly could; but the specimens of the graphic art in
Smatterton castle were so numerous, that it was not easy to recollect
any great proportion of them. It was rather mortifying however that
she could not call to mind any of the very greatest masters of the
art; she had merely a confused recollection that the house was full of
pictures done by some of the first masters. It was firmly fixed in her
memory that the house was very splendid, and that the grand saloon,
especially, looked like a blaze of gold. It was to her eye a scene of
complete enchantment.
On her return to Neverden, Miss Glossop communicated to Sir George
Aimwell the particulars of her visit to Smatterton, and the worthy
baronet was pleased with the politeness which Lord Spoonbill had
displayed; and he said, “Spoonbill’s a good fellow.”
Moreover, after dinner as well as at dinner, Miss Glossop descanted on
the glories of Smatterton castle, and the fine taste of the heir to
the Smatterton title and estate. And so fluent was the young lady’s
eloquence, that she talked the worthy baronet to sleep ten minutes
before his usual time.
Lady Aimwell did not think with the baronet that Spoonbill was a good
fellow. Her ladyship was by no means pleased with Miss Glossop’s visit
to the castle, and took no pains to conceal her dissatisfaction from
the young lady. So that poor Arabella was in a great measure deprived
of the pleasure which she would otherwise have enjoyed of talking of
Lord Spoonbill’s politeness and good sense.
But when the young lady was alone, her thoughts were most pleasingly
occupied with a recollection of the gorgeous splendors of the great
house. And so delightful had been the courteous and elegant politeness
of Lord Spoonbill, that Mr Darnley the younger was eclipsed by the
superior accomplishments of the son of the Earl of Smatterton. While
Miss Glossop was wide awake, it was absolutely impossible for her to
think of having captivated Lord Spoonbill; but when she was asleep,
she dreamed of gorgeous palaces, and Spoonbills, and ladyships, and
all that can raise the ambitious and aspiring hopes of a lover of
magnificence and an admirer of rank.
While Miss Glossop was wondering what Lord Spoonbill thought of her
musical performances, his lordship was also wondering who the lady
could be that had shewn off such ridiculously affected airs. But he
soon forgot the matter, and the scene passed away from his mind’s eye,
and he cared not who it might be. For his thoughts were occupied with
other considerations, and his attention was directed towards Penelope
Primrose.
He staid within hour after hour, uncertain and unresolved what to do
and how to proceed. He was fearful of presenting himself at the rectory
at Smatterton, as he had doubts of the state of Penelope’s mind towards
him; and he was unwilling to expose himself to a second refusal.
He wished, if it could be accomplished, to learn the state of her
affections by the intervention of a third person.
Courting by proxy is not a good plan. Lord Spoonbill, however, was not
the wisest man in the world, or he would not have adopted it. Colonel
Crop was the second adviser and counsellor that he had chosen. He
was not pleased with the counsel of his friend Erpingham, for that
gentleman behaved rather too cavalierly to his lordship. But Colonel
Crop was a much more humble and diffident man; and he only gave that
advice which his lordship wished and desired him to give. Now though
the colonel was a more agreeable counsellor than Erpingham, inasmuch
as the colonel was more supple and complaisant, yet he was a stupid
man withal and mightily clumsy, and he was by no means fit for any
employment or occupation that needed a head. He was willing certainly,
very willing to do anything that he might be ordered to do, but it was
necessary for him to have his orders worded with great explicitness
and fullness; for his own judgment or imagination could supply no
deficiencies.
We have heard of an impatient and angry master, whose servant had acted
contrary to orders, and had apologised, by saying that he thought he
was doing right, and the master hastily interrupted the apology by
exclaiming, “You thought! What business had you to think?” If this
gentleman had employed such a servant as Colonel Crop, he would have no
cause to make any such complaint.
It must have been an instance of very great forgetfulness or
inattention in the colonel, to make such a blunder as to take Miss
Glossop for Miss Primrose. For he certainly must have heard the
name of Primrose often enough; though it must be confessed that Lord
Spoonbill was generally in the habit of speaking of her only as the
young lady; occasionally indeed he used the name of Penelope, and that
might, with so careless a man as Colonel Crop, be easily confounded
with Arabella.
It was a pity that the colonel was not at the castle when Miss Glossop
was admiring and surveying its beauties, for then the misunderstanding
might have been corrected; but the gallant officer was strolling about
the fields with Lord Smatterton’s gamekeeper.