never shall it be said that the commander of the faithful served to
regale these infidel brutes.”
Though there wanted not in this bevy of beauties a sufficient number of
capricious and wayward, yet, on the present occasion they were all
compliance. Fires were visible in a twinkling in all their cages. Ten
thousand torches were lighted at once. The Caliph himself seized a large
one of wax; every person followed his example; and by kindling ropes ends
dipped in oil and fastened on poles, an amazing blaze was spread. The
rocks were covered with the splendour of sunshine. The trails of sparks
wafted by the wind, communicated to the dry fern, of which there was
plenty. Serpents were observed to crawl forth from their retreats with
amazement and hissings, whilst the horses snorted, stamped the ground,
tossed their noses in the air, and plunged about without mercy.
One of the forests of cedar that bordered their way took fire, and the
branches that overhung the path extending their flames to the muslins and
chintzes which covered the cages of the ladies, obliged them to jump out
at the peril of their necks. Vathek, who vented on the occasion a
thousand blasphemies, was himself compelled to touch with his sacred feet
the naked earth.
Never had such an incident happened before. Full of mortification, shame
and despondence, and not knowing how to walk, the ladies fell into the
dirt.
“Must I go on foot,” said one.
“Must I wet my feet,” cried another.
“Must I soil my dress,” asked a third.
“Execrable Bababalouk,” exclaimed all; “Outcast of hell! what hadst thou
to do with torches? Better were it to be eaten by tigers than to fall
into our present condition; we are for ever undone. Not a porter is
there in the army, nor a currier of camels but hath seen some part of our
bodies, and what is worse, our very faces!”
On saying this, the most bashful amongst them hid their foreheads on the
ground, whilst such as had more boldness flew at Bababalouk, but he, well
apprised of their humour, and not wanting in shrewdness, betook himself
to his heels along with his comrades, all dropping their torches and
striking their tymbals.
It was not less light than in the brightest of the dog-days, and the
weather was hot in proportion; but how degrading was the spectacle, to
behold the Caliph bespattered like an ordinary mortal! As the exercise
of his faculties seemed to be suspended, one of his Ethiopian wives (for
he delighted in variety) clasped him in her arms, threw him upon her
shoulder like a sack of dates, and finding that the fire was hemming them
in, set off with no small expedition, considering the weight of her
burden. The other ladies who had just learned the use of their feet
followed her; their guards galloped after; and the camel drivers brought
up the rear as fast as their charge would permit.
They soon reached the spot where the wild beasts had commenced the
carnage, and which they had too much spirit to leave, notwithstanding the
approaching tumult, and the luxurious supper they had made. Bababalouk
nevertheless seized on a few of the plumpest, which were unable to budge
from the place, and began to flay them with admirable adroitness. The
cavalcade being got so far from the conflagration as that the heat felt
rather grateful than violent, it was immediately resolved on to halt.
The tattered chintzes were picked up; the scraps left by the wolves and
tigers interred; and vengeance was taken on some dozens of vultures that
were too much glutted to rise on the wing. The camels which had been
left unmolested to make sal-ammoniac being numbered, and the ladies once
more inclosed in their cages, the imperial tent was pitched on the
levellest ground they could find.
Vathek, reposing upon a matress of down, and tolerably recovered from the
jolting of the Ethiopian, who, to his feelings seemed the roughest
trotting jade he had hitherto mounted, called out for something to eat;
but alas! those delicate cakes which had been baked in silver ovens for
his royal mouth, those rich manchets, amber comfits, flaggons of Schiraz
wine, porcelain vases of snow, and grapes from the banks of the Tigris,
were all irremediably lost; and nothing had Bababalouk to present in
their stead, but a roasted wolf, vultures à la daube, aromatic herbs of
the most acrid poignancy, rotten truffles, boiled thistles, and such
other wild plants as must ulcerate the throat and parch up the tongue.
Nor was he better provided in the article of drink, for he could procure
nothing to accompany these irritating viands but a few phials of
abominable brandy, which had been secreted by the scullions in their
slippers.
Vathek made wry faces at so savage a repast, and Bababalouk answered them
with shrugs and contortions. The Caliph however ate with tolerable
appetite, and fell into a nap that lasted six hours. The splendour of
the sun, reflected from the white cliffs of the mountains in spite of the
curtains that inclosed him, at length disturbed his repose. He awoke
terrified, and stung to the quick by those wormwood-coloured flies which
emit from their wings a suffocating stench. The miserable monarch was
perplexed how to act, though his wits were not idle in seeking
expedients, whilst Bababalouk lay snoring amidst a swarm of those
insects, that busily thronged to pay court to his nose. The little
pages, famished with hunger, had dropped their fans on the ground, and
exerted their dying voices in bitter reproaches on the Caliph, who now
for the first time heard the language of truth.
Thus stimulated, he renewed his imprecations against the Giaour, and
bestowed upon Mahomet some soothing expressions.
“Where am I?” cried he; “What are these dreadful rocks; these valleys of
darkness? Are we arrived at the horrible Kaf? {67a} Is the Simurgh
{67b} coming to pluck out my eyes as a punishment for undertaking this
impious enterprise?”
Having said this, he bellowed like a calf, and turned himself towards an
outlet in the side of his pavilion. But alas! what objects occurred to
his view! on one side a plain of black sand that appeared to be
unbounded, and on the other perpendicular crags bristled over with those
abominable thistles which had so severely lacerated his tongue. He
fancied, however, that he perceived amongst the brambles and briars some
gigantic flowers, but was mistaken, for these were only the dangling
palampores and variegated tatters of his gay retinue. As there were
several clefts in the rock from whence water seemed to have flowed,
Vathek applied his ear with the hope of catching the sound of some latent
runnel, but could only distinguish the low murmurs of his people, who
were repining at their journey, and complaining for the want of water.
“To what purpose,” asked they, “have we been brought hither? Hath our
Caliph another tower to build? or have the relentless Afrits {67c} whom
Carathis so much loves, fixed in this place their abode?”
At the name of Carathis, Vathek recollected the tablets he had received
from his mother, who assured him they were fraught with preternatural
qualities, and advised him to consult them as emergencies might require.
Whilst he was engaged in turning them over, he heard a shout of joy, and
a loud clapping of hands. The curtains of his pavilion were soon drawn
back, and he beheld Bababalouk, followed by a troop of his favourites,
conducting two dwarfs, each a cubit high, who brought between them a
large basket of melons, oranges, and pomegranites. They were singing in
the sweetest tones the words that follow:
“We dwell on the top of these rocks, in a cabin of rushes and canes; the
eagles envy us our nest; a small spring supplies us with abdest, and we
daily repeat prayers which the prophet approves. We love you, O
commander of the faithful! our master, the good emir Fakreddin, loves you
also; he reveres in your person the vicegerent of Mahomet. Little as we
are, in us he confides; he knows our hearts to be good, as our bodies are
contemptible, and hath placed us here to aid those who are bewildered on
these dreary mountains. Last night, whilst we were occupied within our
cell in reading the holy koran, a sudden hurricane blew out our lights
and rocked our habitation. For two whole hours a palpable darkness
prevailed: but we heard sounds at a distance which we conjectured to
proceed from the bells of a cafila, passing over the rocks. Our ears
were soon filled with deplorable shrieks, frightful roarings, and the
sound of tymbals. Chilled with terror, we concluded that the Deggial
{68} with his exterminating angels had sent forth their plagues on the
earth. In the midst of these melancholy reflections, we perceived flames
of the deepest red glow in the horizon, and found ourselves in a few
moments covered with flakes of fire. Amazed at so strange an appearance,
we took up the volume dictated by the blessed intelligence, and kneeling
by the light of the fire that surrounded us, we recited the verse which
says: ‘Put no trust in any thing but the mercy of heaven; there is no
help save in the holy prophet; the mountain of Kaf itself may tremble; it
is the power of Alla only that cannot be moved.’ After having pronounced
these words, we felt consolation, and our minds were hushed into a sacred
repose. Silence ensued, and our ears clearly distinguished a voice in
the air, saying: ‘Servants of my faithful servant, go down to the happy
valley of Fakreddin; tell him that an illustrious opportunity now offers
to satiate the thirst of his hospitable heart. The commander of true
believers is this day bewildered amongst these mountains, and stands in
need of thy aid.’ We obeyed with joy the angelic mission, and our
master, filled with pious zeal, hath culled with his own hands these
melons, oranges, and pomegranites. He is following us with a hundred
dromedaries laden with the purest waters of his fountains, and is coming
to kiss the fringe of your consecrated robe, and implore you to enter his
humble habitation, which, placed amidst these barren wilds, resembles an
emerald set in lead.”
The dwarfs having ended their address, remained still standing, and with
hands crossed upon their bosoms, preserved a respectful silence.
Vathek, in the midst of this curious harangue seized the basket, and long
before it was finished, the fruits had dissolved in his mouth. As he
continued to eat, his piety increased, and in the same breath which
recited his prayers, he called for the koran and sugar.
Such was the state of his mind when the tablets, which were thrown by at
the approach of the dwarfs, again attracted his eye. He took them up,
but was ready to drop on the ground when he beheld, in large red
characters, these words inscribed by Carathis, which were indeed enough
to make him tremble.
“Beware of thy old doctors, and their puny messengers of but one cubit
high; distrust their pious frauds; and instead of eating their melons,
impale on a spit the bearers of them. Shouldst thou be such a fool as to
visit them, the portal of the subterranean palace will be shut in thy
face, and with such force as shall shake thee asunder; thy body shall be
spit upon, and bats will engender in thy belly.”
“To what tends this ominous rhapsody?” cries the Caliph; “and must I then
perish in these deserts with thirst, whilst I may refresh myself in the
valley of melons and cucumbers? Accursed be the Giaour with his portal
of ebony! he hath made me dance attendance too long already. Besides,
who shall prescribe laws to me? I, forsooth, must not enter any one’s
habitation! Be it so, but what one can I enter that is not my own.”
Bababalouk, who lost not a syllable of this soliloquy, applauded it with
all his heart; and the ladies, for the first time, agreed with him in
opinion. The dwarfs were entertained, caressed, and seated with great
ceremony on little cushions of satin. The symmetry of their persons was
the subject of criticism; not an inch of them was suffered to pass
unexamined. Nick-nacks and dainties were offered in profusion, but all
were declined with respectful gravity. They clambered up the sides of
the Caliph’s seat, and placing themselves each on one of his shoulders,
began to whisper prayers in his ears. Their tongues quivered like the
leaves of a poplar, and the patience of Vathek was almost exhausted, when
the acclamations of the troops announced the approach of Fakreddin, who
was come with a hundred old grey-beards, and as many korans and
dromedaries. They instantly set about their ablutions, and began to
repeat the Bismillah. Vathek, to get rid of these officious monitors,
followed their example, for his hands were burning.
The good Emir, who was punctiliously religious, and likewise a great
dealer in compliments, made an harangue five times more prolix and
insipid than his harbingers had already delivered. The Caliph, unable
any longer to refrain, exclaimed:
“For the love of Mahomet, my dear Fakreddin, have done! let us proceed to
your valley, and enjoy the fruits that heaven hath vouchsafed you.” The
hint of proceeding put all into motion. The venerable attendants of the
emir set forward somewhat slowly, but Vathek having ordered his little
pages, in private, to goad on the dromedaries, loud fits of laughter
broke forth from the cages, for the unwieldy curvetting of these poor
beasts, and the ridiculous distress of their superannuated riders
afforded the ladies no small entertainment.
They descended, however, unhurt into the valley, by the large steps which
the emir had cut in the rock; and already the murmuring of streams and
the rustling of leaves began to catch their attention. The cavalcade
soon entered a path, which was skirted by flowering shrubs, and extended
to a vast wood of palm-trees whose branches overspread a building of hewn
stone. This edifice was crowned with nine domes, and adorned with as
many portals of bronze, on which was engraven the following inscription:
“This is the asylum of pilgrims, the refuge of travellers, and the
depository of secrets for all parts of the world.”
Nine pages beautiful as the day, and clothed in robes of Egyptian linen,
very long and very modest, were standing at each door. They received the
whole retinue with an easy and inviting air. Four of the most amiable
placed the Caliph on a magnificent taktrevan; four others, somewhat less
graceful, took charge of Bababalouk, who capered for joy at the snug
little cabin that fell to his share; the pages that remained, waited on
the rest of the train.
When every thing masculine was gone out of sight, the gate of a large
inclosure on the right turned on its harmonious hinges, and a young
female of a slender form came forth. Her light brown hair floated in the
hazy breeze of the twilight. A troop of young maidens, like the
Pleiades, attended her on tip-toe. They hastened to the pavilions that
contained the sultanas; and the young lady gracefully bending said to
them:
“Charming princesses, every thing is ready; we have prepared beds for
your repose, and strewed your apartments with jasamine; no insects will
keep off slumber from visiting your eyelids; we will dispel them with a
thousand plumes. Come then, amiable ladies! refresh your delicate feet
and your ivory limbs in baths of rose water, and by the light of perfumed
lamps your servants will amuse you with tales.”
The sultanas accepted with pleasure these obliging offers, and followed
the young lady to the emir’s harem, where we must for a moment leave them
and return to the Caliph.
Vathek found himself beneath a vast dome illuminated by a thousand lamps
of rock crystal, as many vases of the same material filled with excellent
sherbet sparkled on a large table, where a profusion of viands were
spread. Amongst others were sweetbreads stewed in milk of almonds,
saffron soups, and lamb à la crême, of all of which the Caliph was
amazingly fond. He took of each as much as he was able; testified his
sense of the emir’s friendship by the gaiety of his heart; and made the
dwarfs dance against their will; for these little devotees durst not
refuse the commander of the faithful. At last he spread himself on the
sofa and slept sounder than he had ever before.
Beneath this dome a general silence prevailed, for there was nothing to
disturb it but the jaws of Bababalouk, who had untrussed himself to eat
with greater advantage, being anxious to make amends for his fast in the
mountains. As his spirits were too high to admit of his sleeping, and
not loving to be idle, he proposed with himself to visit the harem, and
repair to his charge of the ladies, to examine if they had been properly
lubricated with the balm of Mecca, if their eye-brows and tresses were in
order, and in a word, to perform all the little offices they might need.
He sought for a long time together, but without being able to find out
the door. He durst not speak aloud for fear of disturbing the Caliph,
and not a soul was stirring in the precincts of the palace. He almost
despaired of effecting his purpose, when a low whispering just reached
his ear: it came from the dwarfs, who were returned to their old
occupation, and for the nine hundred and ninety-ninth time in their lives
were reading over the koran. They very politely invited Bababalouk to be
of their party, but his head was full of other concerns. The dwarfs,
though scandalized at his dissolute morals, directed him to the
apartments he wanted to find. His way thither lay through a hundred dark
corridors, along which he groped as he went, and at last began to catch,
from the extremity of a passage, the charming gossiping of women, which
not a little delighted his heart.
“Ah, ah! what not yet asleep?” cried he, and taking long strides as he
spoke, “did you not suspect me of abjuring my charge? I stayed but to
finish what my master had left.”
Two of the black eunuchs on hearing a voice so loud detached a party in
haste, sabre in hand, to discover the cause, but presently was repeated
on all sides:
“’Tis only Bababalouk, no one but Bababalouk!”
This circumspect guardian having gone up to a thin veil of carnation
colour silk that hung before the doorway, distinguished by means of a
softened splendour that shone through it, an oval bath of dark porphyry
surrounded by curtains festooned in large folds. Through the apertures
between them, as they were not drawn close, groups of young slaves were
visible, amongst whom Bababalouk perceived his pupils indulgingly
expanding their arms, as if to embrace the perfumed water, and refresh
themselves after their fatigues. The looks of tender languor, their
confidential whispers, and the enchanting smiles with which they were
imparted, the exquisite fragrance of the roses, all combined to inspire a
voluptuousness which even Bababalouk himself was scarce able to
withstand.
He summoned up, however, his usual solemnity, and in the peremptory tone
of authority commanded the ladies instantly to leave the bath. Whilst he
was issuing these mandates, the young Nouronihar, daughter of the emir,
who was sprightly as an antelope, and full of wanton gaiety, beckoned one
of her slaves to let down the great swing, which was suspended to the
ceiling by cords of silk, and whilst this was doing winked to her
companions in the bath, who chagrined to be forced from so soothing a
state of indolence, began to twist it round Bababalouk, and teaze him
with a thousand vagaries.
When Nouronihar perceived that he was exhausted with fatigue, she
accosted him with an arch air of respectful concern, and said:
“My lord, it is not by any means decent that the chief eunuch of the
Caliph our sovereign should thus continue standing, deign but to recline
your graceful person upon this sofa, which will burst with vexation if it
have not the honour to receive you.”
Caught by these flattering accents, Bababalouk gallantly replied:
“Delight of the apple of my eye! I accept the invitation of thy honied
lips, and to say truth, my senses are dazzled with the radiance that
beams from thy charms.”
“Repose, then, at your ease,” replied the beauty, and placed him on the
pretended sofa, which, quicker than lightning, gave way all at once. The
rest of the women having aptly conceived her design, sprang naked from
the bath and plied the swing with such unmerciful jerks, that it swept
through the whole compass of a very lofty dome, and took from the poor
victim all power of respiration. Sometimes his feet rased the surface of
the water, and at others the skylight almost flattened his nose. In vain
did he pierce the air with the cries of a voice that resembled the
ringing of a cracked basin, for their peals of laughter were still more
predominant.
Nouronihar in the inebriety of youthful spirits being used only to
eunuchs of ordinary harems, and having never seen any thing so royal and
disgusting, was far more diverted than all of the rest. She began to
parody some Persian verses, and sung with an accent most demurely
piquant:
“O gentle white dove as thou soar’st through the air,
Vouchsafe one kind glance on the mate of thy love:
Melodious Philomel I am thy rose;
Warble some couplet to ravish my heart!”
The sultanas and their slaves stimulated by these pleasantries persevered
at the swing with such unremitted assiduity, that at length the cord
which had secured it snapped suddenly asunder, and Bababalouk fell
floundering like a turtle to the bottom of the bath. This accident
occasioned a universal shout. Twelve little doors till now unobserved
flew open at once, and the ladies in an instant made their escape, after
throwing all the towels on his head, and putting out the lights that
remained.
The deplorable animal, in water to the chin, overwhelmed with darkness,
and unable to extricate himself from the warp that embarrassed him, was
still doomed to hear for his further consolation, the fresh bursts of
merriment his disaster occasioned. He bustled but in vain to get from
the bath, for the margin was become so slippery with the oil spilt in
breaking the lamps, that at every effort he slid back with a plunge,
which resounded aloud through the hollow of the dome. These cursed peals
of laughter at every relapse were redoubled, and he, who thought the
place infested rather by devils than women, resolved to cease groping,
and abide in the bath, where he amused himself with soliloquies
interspersed with imprecations, of which his malicious neighbours,
reclining on down, suffered not an accent to escape. In this delectable
plight the morning surprised him. The Caliph, wondering at his absence,
had caused him to be everywhere sought for. At last he was drawn forth
almost smothered from the whisp of linen, and wet even to the marrow.
Limping, and chattering his teeth, he appeared before his master, who
inquired what was the matter, and how he came soused in so strange a
pickle.
“And why did you enter this cursed lodge?” answered Bababalouk, gruffly.
“Ought a monarch like you to visit with his harem the abode of a grey
bearded emir who knows nothing of life? And with what gracious damsels
does the place too abound! Fancy to yourself how they have soaked me
like a burnt crust, and made me dance like a jack-pudding the live-long
night through on their damnable swing. What an excellent lesson for your
sultanas to follow, into whom I have instilled such reserve and decorum!”
Vathek, comprehending not a syllable of all this invective, obliged him
to relate minutely the transaction; but instead of sympathising with the
miserable sufferer, he laughed immoderately at the device of the swing,
and the figure of Bababalouk mounting upon it. The stung eunuch could
scarcely preserve the semblance of respect.
“Aye, laugh my lord! laugh,” said he, “but I wish this Nouronihar would
play some trick on you; she is too wicked to spare even majesty itself.”
These words made for the present but a slight impression on the Caliph,
but they not long after recurred to his mind.