MY DEAR P.:--I have made some curious observations of this disease,
which lead to startling conclusions.
It is a malady peculiar to the United States, being an eruption
resulting from indigestion of unripe knowledge, together with excess of
vanity in individual blood.
Universities spring up among us like mushrooms, in a night. The seed of
knowledge is sown broadcast over our land. In fact, in this particular
we may be said to be very seedy, indeed.
For my part I have no objection to Universities--when they _are_
Universities. But, at the rate at which we are now progressing, we shall
soon have "every man his own University." It will become the fashion to
keep a University in the back-yard. And then, you know, the institution
must have its own particular organ, you know. Every man, and every
member of his family, shall print his or her _Free Press_, and
independence of opinion shall reign.
Glorious country! Glorious free speech!
With WALT WHITMAN, we may well exclaim:
O the BROWN University!
O the splendid University of SMITH!
O CORNELL, his University!
_&c. ad infinitum._
As for me, dear NELLO, I am in the front rank of civilization. I have
accepted the Chair of Cane-bottom in a Grub-Street garret, and rejoice
in a barrel-organ, which plays with great freedom of speech.
Yours pedagoguically,