f(1) A buzzard is named in order to raise a laugh, the Greek name also
meaning, etymologically, provided with three testicles, vigorous in
love.
IRIS Seize me! But what do all these insults mean?
PISTHETAERUS Woe to you!
IRIS 'Tis incomprehensible.
PISTHETAERUS By which gate did you pass through the wall, wretched
woman?
IRIS By which gate? Why, great gods, I don't know.
PISTHETAERUS You hear how she holds us in derision. Did you present
yourself to the officers in command of the jays? You don't answer. Have
you a permit, bearing the seal of the storks?
IRIS Am I awake?
PISTHETAERUS Did you get one?
IRIS Are you mad?
PISTHETAERUS No head-bird gave you a safe-conduct?
IRIS A safe-conduct to me, you poor fool!
PISTHETAERUS Ah! and so you slipped into this city on the sly and into
these realms of air-land that don't belong to you.
IRIS And what other roads can the gods travel?
PISTHETAERUS By Zeus! I know nothing about that, not I. But they won't
pass this way. And you still dare to complain! Why, if you were treated
according to your deserts, no Iris would ever have more justly suffered
death.
IRIS I am immortal.
PISTHETAERUS You would have died nevertheless.--Oh! 'twould be truly
intolerable! What! should the universe obey us and the gods alone
continue their insolence and not understand that they must submit to
the law of the strongest in their due turn? But tell me, where are you
flying to?
IRIS I? The messenger of Zeus to mankind, I am going to tell them to
sacrifice sheep and oxen on the altars and to fill their streets with
the rich smoke of burning fat.
PISTHETAERUS Of which gods are you speaking?
IRIS Of which? Why, of ourselves, the gods of heaven.
PISTHETAERUS You, gods?
IRIS Are there others then?
PISTHETAERUS Men now adore the birds as gods, and 'tis to them, by Zeus,
that they must offer sacrifices, and not to Zeus at all!
IRIS Oh! fool! fool! Rouse not the wrath of the gods, for 'tis terrible
indeed. Armed with the brand of Zeus, Justice would annihilate your
race; the lightning would strike you as it did Licymnius and consume
both your body and the porticos of your palace.(1)
f(1) Iris' reply is a parody of the tragic style.--'Lycimnius' is,
according to the scholiast, the title of a tragedy by Euripides, which
is about a ship that is struck by lightning.
PISTHETAERUS Here! that's enough tall talk. Just you listen and keep
quiet! Do you take me for a Lydian or a Phrygian(1) and think to
frighten me with your big words? Know, that if Zeus worries me again,
I shall go at the head of my eagles, who are armed with lightning, and
reduce his dwelling and that of Amphion to cinders.(2) I shall send more
than six hundred porphyrions clothed in leopards' skins(3) up to heaven
against him; and formerly a single Porphyrion gave him enough to do.
As for you, his messenger, if you annoy me, I shall begin by stretching
your legs asunder, and so conduct myself, Iris though you be, that
despite my age, you will be astonished. I will show you something that
will make you three times over.
f(1) i.e. for a poltroon, like the slaves, most of whom came to Athens
from these countries.
f(2) A parody of a passage in the lost tragedy of 'Niobe' of Aeschylus.
f(3) Because this bird has a spotted plumage.--Porphyrion is also the
name of one of the Titans who tried to storm heave.
IRIS May you perish, you wretch, you and your infamous words!
PISTHETAERUS Won't you be off quickly? Come, stretch your wings or look
out for squalls!
IRIS If my father does not punish you for your insults...
PISTHETAERUS Ha!... but just you be off elsewhere to roast younger folk
than us with your lightning.
CHORUS We forbid the gods, the sons of Zeus, to pass through our city
and the mortals to send them the smoke of their sacrifices by this road.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis odd that the messenger we sent to the mortals has
never returned.
HERALD Oh! blessed Pisthetaerus, very wise, very illustrious, very
gracious, thrice happy, very... Come, prompt me, somebody, do.
PISTHETAERUS Get to your story!
HERALD All peoples are filled with admiration for your wisdom, and they
award you this golden crown.
PISTHETAERUS I accept it. But tell me, why do the people admire me?
HERALD Oh you, who have founded so illustrious a city in the air, you
know not in what esteem men hold you and how many there are who burn
with desire to dwell in it. Before your city was built, all men had a
mania for Sparta; long hair and fasting were held in honour, men went
dirty like Socrates and carried staves. Now all is changed. Firstly, as
soon as 'tis dawn, they all spring out of bed together to go and seek
their food, the same as you do; then they fly off towards the notices
and finally devour the decrees. The bird-madness is so clear, that many
actually bear the names of birds. There is a halting victualler, who
styles himself the partridge; Menippus calls himself the swallow;
Opuntius the one-eyed crow; Philocles the lark; Theogenes the fox-goose;
Lycurgus the ibis; Chaerephon the bat; Syracosius the magpie; Midias the
quail;(1) indeed he looks like a quail that has been hit hard over the
head. Out of love for the birds they repeat all the songs which concern
the swallow, the teal, the goose or the pigeon; in each verse you see
wings, or at all events a few feathers. This is what is happening down
there. Finally, there are more than ten thousand folk who are coming
here from earth to ask you for feathers and hooked claws; so, mind you
supply yourself with wings for the immigrants.
f(1) All these surnames bore some relation to the character or the build
of the individual to whom the poet applies them.--Chaerephon,
Socrates' disciple, was of white and ashen hue.--Opuntius was
one-eyed.--Syracosius was a braggart.--Midias had a passion for
quail-fights, and, besides, resembled that bird physically.
PISTHETAERUS Ah! by Zeus, 'tis not the time for idling. Go as quick as
possible and fill every hamper, every basket you can find with wings.
Manes(1) will bring them to me outside the walls, where I will welcome
those who present themselves.
f(1) Pisthetaerus' servant, already mentioned.
CHORUS This town will soon be inhabited by a crowd of men.
PISTHETAERUS If fortune favours us.
CHORUS Folk are more and more delighted with it.
PISTHETAERUS Come, hurry up and bring them along.
CHORUS Will not man find here everything that can please him--wisdom,
love, the divine Graces, the sweet face of gentle peace?
PISTHETAERUS Oh! you lazy servant! won't you hurry yourself?
CHORUS Let a basket of wings be brought speedily. Come, beat him as I
do, and put some life into him; he is as lazy as an ass.
PISTHETAERUS Aye, Manes is a great craven.
CHORUS Begin by putting this heap of wings in order; divide them in
three parts according to the birds from whom they came; the singing,
the prophetic(1) and the aquatic birds; then you must take care to
distribute them to the men according to their character.
f(1) From the inspection of which auguries were taken, e.g. the eagles,
the vultures, the crows.
PISTHETAERUS (TO MANES) Oh! by the kestrels! I can keep my hands off you
no longer; you are too slow and lazy altogether.
A PARRICIDE(1) Oh! might I but become an eagle, who soars in the skies!
Oh! might I fly above the azure waves of the barren sea!(2)
f(1) Or rather, a young man who contemplated parricide.
f(2) A parody of verses in Sophocles 'Oenomaus.'
PISTHETAERUS Ha! 'twould seem the news was true; I hear someone coming
who talks of wings.
PARRICIDE Nothing is more charming than to fly; I burn with desire to
live under the same laws as the birds; I am bird-mad and fly towards
you, for I want to live with you and to obey your laws.
PISTHETAERUS Which laws? The birds have many laws.
PARRICIDE All of them; but the one that pleases me most is, that among
the birds it is considered a fine thing to peck and strangle one's
father.
PISTHETAERUS Aye, by Zeus! according to us, he who dares to strike his
father, while still a chick, is a brave fellow.
PARRICIDE And therefore I want to dwell here, for I want to strangle my
father and inherit his wealth.
PISTHETAERUS But we have also an ancient law written in the code of the
storks, which runs thus, "When the stork father has reared his young
and has taught them to fly, the young must in their turn support the
father."
PARRICIDE 'Tis hardly worth while coming all this distance to be
compelled to keep my father!
PISTHETAERUS No, no, young friend, since you have come to us with such
willingness, I am going to give you these black wings, as though you
were an orphan bird; furthermore, some good advice, that I received
myself in infancy. Don't strike your father, but take these wings in one
hand and these spurs in the other; imagine you have a cock's crest on
your head and go and mount guard and fight; live on your pay and respect
your father's life. You're a gallant fellow! Very well, then! Fly to
Thrace and fight.(1)
f(1) The Athenians were then besieging Amphipolis in the Thracian
Chalcidice.
PARRICIDE By Bacchus! 'Tis well spoken; I will follow your counsel.
PISTHETAERUS 'Tis acting wisely, by Zeus.
CINESIAS(1) "On my light pinions I soar off to Olympus; in its
capricious flight my Muse flutters along the thousand paths of poetry in
turn..."
f(1) There was a real Cinesias--a dythyrambic poet born at Thebes.
PISTHETAERUS This is a fellow will need a whole shipload of wings.
CINESIAS (singing) "...and being fearless and vigorous, it is seeking
fresh outlet."
PISTHETAERUS Welcome, Cinesias, you lime-wood man!(1) Why have you come
here a-twisting your game leg in circles?
f(1) The scholiast thinks that Cinesias, who was tall and slight of
build, wore a kind of corset of lime-wood to support his waist--surely
rather a far-fetched interpretation!