f(1) His name was Aristocrates; he was a general and commanded a fleet
sent in aid of Corcyra.
EPOPS But, after all, what sort of city would please you best?
EUELPIDES A place where the following would be the most important
business transacted.--Some friend would come knocking at the door quite
early in the morning saying, "By Olympian Zeus, be at my house early,
as soon as you have bathed, and bring your children too. I am giving a
nuptial feast, so don't fail, or else don't cross my threshold when I am
in distress."
EPOPS Ah! that's what may be called being fond of hardships! And what
say you?
PISTHETAERUS My tastes are similar.
EPOPS And they are?
PISTHETAERUS I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop
in the street and say to me reproachfully as if I had failed him, "Ah!
Is this well done, Stilbonides! You met my son coming from the bath
after the gymnasium and you neither spoke to him, nor embraced him, nor
took him with you, nor ever once twitched his parts. Would anyone call
you an old friend of mine?"
EPOPS Ah! wag, I see you are fond of suffering. But there is a city of
delights, such as you want. 'Tis on the Red Sea.
EUELPIDES Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the
Salaminian(1) galley can appear, bringing a writ-server along. Have you
no Greek town you can propose to us?
f(1) The State galley, which carried the officials of the Athenian
republic to their several departments and brought back those whose time
had expired; it was this galley that was sent to Sicily to fetch back
Alcibiades, who was accused of sacrilege.
EPOPS Why not choose Lepreum in Elis for your settlement?
EUELPIDES By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreum without disgust, because
of Melanthius.(1)
f(1) A tragic poet, who was a leper; there is a play, of course, on the
word Lepreum.
EPOPS Then, again, there is the Opuntian, where you could live.
EUELPIDES I would not be Opuntian(1) for a talent. But come, what is it
like to live with the birds? You should know pretty well.
f(1) An allusion to Opuntius, who was one-eyed.
EPOPS Why, 'tis not a disagreeable life. In the first place, one has no
purse.
EUELPIDES That does away with much roguery.
EPOPS For food the gardens yield us white sesame, myrtle-berries,
poppies and mint.