Friend, if you wish for happiness complete,
Look for it in some hamlet distant far.
Forget--where catkins blow and lambkins bleat--
_Globe_, _Evening News_, _Pall Mall_, _St. James's_, _Star_!
* * * * *
QUEER QUERIES.--FISH-DIET.--I am writing an important historical work,
which takes a great deal out of my brain, and I shall be glad to know
what is the best kind of diet for nourishing the brain-cells. Fish
has been strongly recommended to me. Would a herring and a half for
breakfast take me through a chapter on the Norman Conquest? If a
herring and a half does for WILLIAM the Conqueror, how many would be
necessary for ELIZABETH? Would a whole salmon or barrel of oysters be
best for tackling our early Constitutional History?--MACAULAY JUNIOR.
* * * * *
[Illustration: THINGS ONE WOULD RATHER HAVE LEFT UNWRITTEN.
_Proud Father_ (_reading his Son's School Report_). "MANNERS
VULGAR--VERY VULGAR. BUT PERHAPS THIS IS HEREDITARY!"]
* * * * *